Let me Breathe
by BadTimesDontLast
Summary: With every breath that you take, I swear to God that I'll be there to swallow it. With every scream, I'll make sure to be the cause of it. Any sin and every purity will be the source of my own need, desire, and lust. Trust me, I'll be your dream and your nightmare. I can't, however, guarantee you'll be able to breathe. Dean Ambrose/OC *Lots of smut warning*
1. Chapter 1

**Guess who's back. I know that it's been an irritating sort to be waiting for this awesome story. Here's the problem, I sort of wrote the first chapter and hated it. Now, I think that we can all go for a darker twist within. It's going to be in the POV from the OC... Why? I don't know.. I have never done it this way, but I thought it'd be beneficial to the story. It also doesn't let you know what that crazy cutie is thinking. You're going to be in surprise as much as she is. You don't get to know the details of plot. I've had this idea for a while, but had no clue how to approach it correctly with Nikki and Dean. So here we go. Dean Ambrose/OC**

 _"Right or wrong, it's very pleasant to break something from time to time..."_

The purity that withstands with every colorful shirt is incredibly child like when looked at by the human eye. The chants relate to the concept of being overrated, having five moves, or whatever the hell they think is creative. Nothing really is these days. Maybe people just get some kind of kick from thinking they uphold this sham originality. The distaste in people who work hard and actually have talent spreads like wildfire around here. Draw back your bow and aim for a target with a diameter of one inch. Striking it right in the middle would be more probable than pleasing a damn crowd. Fist collided with desk as did forehead. Ow.

"Fuck me..." My head raised off of the surface as my hand rubbed at the area of the hit. It was probably red given the pale skin that my Caucasian parents passed over. More of a reason to groan outwardly.

"Pretty sure that's sexual harassment," Seth Rollins was being incredibly annoying as of late. The golden boy: Colby Lopez. This guy was great, had looks, talent, mic skills. The only downside was that he was a pain in the ass. Then again, I had a migraine and my merging of desk and head didn't exactly help.

"You're one to speak given the racy photos that were leaked out to the internet. You sure can pick vengeful girlfriends, sir," sweetness drenched my tone. Despite the delivery and meaning, I'm pretty sure anyone else would've smiled at my innocence. Though, Colby was in no mood for my games, let alone my shit. The triangle that had transpired was none of my business and also a touchy sort for the man. I'd be pretty damn upset if my dick was seen by the entire world. Luckily, I didn't have one. Sadly, every month had those days of wanting to kill everyone in sight. Perfectly normal..

"Not what I came in here to speak about, but thanks for the bullshit reason to continuously throw that in my face.." Eyes rolled, two toned hair was combed through with hands that held the most prestigious title around. "I just wanted to ask why the hell you booked Cena and against Stuart out there as the main event. The crowd is dying and I wanted to be able to revive them. I am the champ' and you haven't exactly given me much time cards for filling in for Steph' and Paul."

He was right. This was one of the rare moments where I was able to host RAW. Smackdown was more of my territory, and I could smoothly run the show on the phone from Tampa. Being an actual general manager was the shit. Things were able to be taken care of while the actual bosses pretended to run the shows. They did more acting than anything regarding the booking. All they really did was hire, fire, and have a say in storylines in which they would hardly alter. I suppose sticking to the damn script would've helped since the crowd hated John.

"But come on, people love John Cena! Why are they booing him like that," I had hissed out my question with great purpose. I usually didn't deal with the 'huge' stars. There was a reason behind that too. For now, we can look to it as having a problem in the past.

"Well, if this was 2006 or 2005, they'd love him. But it's not obviously, so we need something to save the show. I don't exactly tell you how to do your job, but do it differently because I'm seconds from pulling my hair out at the number of people changing their channels." What a prick. It wasn't that bad..

"John Cena with a hurricanrana!" Fuck!

I found myself on my feet in a matter of seconds, pushing the rolling chair back. "Oh fine. Fix this. There's five minutes left of the show. I don't care if you make fire rain from the damn ceiling, just fucking fix this mess."

I would never have thought I'd be begging for Colby's help. Not in a million years. Guess things always change. Pleased, that arrogant smirk appeared in all its glory as Lopez left the room. He'd have to hustle if he was going to do whatever it was he wanted to do. I wasn't going to be here for it.

Grabbing my purse, I immediately started for the door. If anything, there was certain people who would try to get under my skin. Try and fail. That was always a standard course to go through. Attempt to break the lady in charge with cat calls, but they'd learn their lessons after smiles and suspensions. Except one idiot.

A raspy tone resonated from behind me. Speak of the devil.

"Well, well, well. Look who's made her triumphant return to RAW. Chasity Waller."

Remember the problem that was mentioned earlier? That problem has a name. It was never solved and I believe it never will be. The problem goes by Jonathan Good.

"Here to provoke me in anyway? How's another push down the ladder look to you if you even dare try to insult me again."

I loathed him more than anyone. More than anything and everything. He had the tendency to get on my nerves with the smug attitude of his. He was a problem with the berating, the defiance, and of course the spewing termerity that I consider a terrible trait of his. I had pissed him off more than once in the year we had spent together. The grueling matches booked, the hired beatings, all of it. In those moments, I hated him more than life itself. Now that we've had our distance, it's simmered to a smaller hate. Still more than anything however.

"You're still mad? I mean, I only did the opposite of what you said, earned money for it, and of course my favorite, had you demoted to Smackdown. Then again, you claim that it was 'your choice'." Which it fucking was.

Not budging at his little jabs, I merely shook my head, continuing to walk yet again. Footsteps indicated that he was following.

"Whatever Mr. Good. I suggest you get to your hotel before the fans maul you." It was the upholding of professionalism. I could hear his glare. I couldn't wipe the smirk of my lips.

"That's it? No retort whatsoever? It doesn't bother you that I make more money, don't follow the rules, and get to work bigger shows?"

He was looking for a fight. Always was.

"I stopped fighting the day that I asked to work from home for Smackdown. I know it and so do you." The parking lot greeted us as I made it over to the red convertible. The damn thing was my baby. I'd be damned if I let someone as gritty and dirty as Jon try to touch it. That's what intiated my stop feet away from it. He'd key it if I fucking gave him a hint.

"That's no fun. Since we're speaking of such a thing as knowledge, you know that I'm just in it for the game. But if you're not playing, it bugs me." There was actually this geniune line in his lips that he made.

I'd feel bad for him if the concept we were speaking of had some sanity to it. The first few months, those words had been said to me clear as day. It was torture for him to be basically abusing me with no physical contact. When I had asked for a reason, his answer was that he was hopelessly bored and I entertained him. It pinched my nerves that he gave me the attributes of a stripper he could metaphorically slap around, but I figured I could beat him at his game. The anger would reach points of where brutal strength was used to throw anything in his way backstage. After all the damage, Paul decided that it was enough. We had reached a compromise after aimless discussion.

Oh at how every fiber of my being wanted to quit. However, he claimed that the business couldn't bare to lose me. I knew it was a lie since I was anything but special, but I wouldn't let Jon have that satisfaction. That satisfaction of winning. He was used to getting what he wanted. Not because he was lucky, but because he took everything he wanted. He'd strive and use everything in his arsenal to win. Sure it got on my nerves, but that had to be his only amirable trait. Other than that, I couldn't stand his bipolar psychotic ass.

It bugged him that I wouldn't fight back? It was an even better reason to stay silent.

"Sorry, Mr. Good. I just don't see the point in that anymore. I think that you can move on," my hand patted his shoulder and I moved farther down the parking lot away from my own vehicle.

Yet, he was still fucking following.

"Don't give me that shit, Chase. Tell me to fuck off, I already know we passed your ride home." How the hell did...? Ugh. Still difficult as I could remember and it had been months since we saw each other. Also, that annoying nickname had made its return.

The sound of heels clacking stopped as I turned to finally face him. He had a scowl. His temper could always get out of hand.

"I'm not going to tell you to fuck off, Mr. Good. I'm simply keeping this professional. If you aren't, then I have no choice but to call up Paul and Stephanie. You already know as well as I that those two have you hanging on a loose thread. If you would please leave me alone, it'd be much appreciated. This 'game' of ours that you had created and started, it's over. I'm sorry." Managing to keep a straight face, I maneuvered to the car. It was such an idiot move to do this shit, but oh well, I'm sure other people out there in the world did the same. I'm sure they moved around a parking lot to keep unwanted rodents away.

This time, he didn't follow. He froze where he stood and stuffed those large hands into his jean pockets. I only smirked and laughed when I finally found safety in the driver's seat. I had won. I knew it. What gave away the victory was the rare silence. He never backed down.. It was odd that he did now.

His mind was probably racing with thoughts at a mile a minute. When I first laid eyes on him, he had this charming bad boy-esque look to him. Not exactly the type that I went for, but he did have a certain differential feel to him. Then the second we met, this hostility hung in the air. If I recall correctly, I had barely said two words and he barked out why I shouldn't even be speaking to him. When I would try to apologize, his insults grew. It wasn't just bullying as it sounds. I'd find myself crying at the truth in his words. He'd nitpick my flaws and destroy whatever confidence I could have.

It was as if he just lived for verbally attacking me. Only once did he come close to laying a hand on me. It pertained to a scream variation of mentioning his mother. He was a recluse when it came to speaking of his family. I made a mental note not to ever speak of that sort around him. It'd strike at him. And maybe me. Literally.

A ring came from the side of me and I made a quick prayer before reaching with my right hand to answer the call. It was safer to just use the bluetooth connected to the car.

"Hi, beautiful." That voice. I couldn't help but smile.

"Slow your role there, Nick." The work relationship between Nick Nemeth and I was strictly platonic when we first started to speak. Keyword being first.

The flirtation, however, was a constant thing. Then there was the bombarding of asking to go out, to hit the town somehow in some way. It actually didn't sound too bad, but relationships and work never go together no matter what. If we didn't work out, given my record we wouldn't, then it'd be pretty awkward. Life and wrestling needed to stay as far as possible. It had been almost half a year since I actually ran RAW. Did I miss it? Sure. Did I want to be there permanently? Hell no.

"Sorry, love. Just wanted to say how I liked how the show turned out. Seth going out there and giving news like that, I was surprised and elated." ... What?

"What did he do..?" The question was a bit hesitant given the situation.

"It wasn't your idea for Seth to come out with a microphone to stop the match?"

"Something like that.." I should've stayed. It would've saved me a visit from Ambrose and a now vendetta set for Rollins.

"Then you'd know of what he had announced. I can't believe it. Maybe now you'll finally let me take you on that date." Announced... That's all I could hear. All I needed to hear.

The beeping noise was becoming a distraction now.

"I have another call.. Hold on." Clicking to the next, I held my breath when I recognized the number on the screen in front of me. The focus should've been on driving, but they couldn't do this to me.

"Hello..?"

"Chasity! Glad that I caught you. Hope this isn't a bad time, but that announcement was perfect! We've needed more help anyways nonetheless. Maddox can take care of Smackdown—"

"Wait, wait. Paul, sorry to cut you off, but don't I take care of Smackdown?" What the hell was going on?

"Why would he? You've went off script, but we love the change. Having Seth stop the match to announce the new general manager of RAW was phenomenal. It takes off worry on our shoulders with this kind of help. Also, you're going to be able to make appearances on TV."

I couldn't see straight at this point. My heart sank to my stomach, but I couldn't protest anything. I let him go out there without thinking. What do you say to your boss when decisions on live TV couldn't exactly be changed? If I made that misconception clear, I'd be fired.. This was something I wanted more than anything. I gulped before speaking once more.

"Sorry.. Just a bit tired from tonight.. Something I'll get used to of course.. And TV appearances? Wow... That'll be great... Never have done anything like that.." I was behind the scenes damn it. What the hell was this?

"Understandable. It's fine. Your first appearance will be on RAW. You're on the Authority's side so it's not much of a hard character to master. Be yourself and we'll discuss more of this in the morning." Before another word could be said, the line went dead.

I pressed hang up so many tines until the radio was the only audio again. I even hang up on Nick, but that was not the problem. Nothing could help at this point. I had to park to the side of the road.

So many emotions were running through my brain and I felt like bursting into tears. Just like that, happiness was pried from my hands as per usual. Except, Jon wasn't the one on my mind. No, he wouldn't ruin this for me again. The man of the hour was two toned, vindictive, and intelligent. He knew of the damage he had set up the second that he walked into the coordinated office. Seth fucking Rollins. Actually, which was much worse..

Colby. Fucking. Lopez.


	2. Chapter 2

**Reviews are always welcome. Even PMs. Enjoy.**

Hotel walls have seen basically everything. From the hot sex that couples have on valentine's day, to the boring loners on computers staying in one place on business. They're the eyes of God and could spew millions of secrets if they were able to speak freely. Witnesses of sin were always the most sinful since they did nothing to prevent it from happening. Except, walls can't get up and have conversations like normal average day people that you see around you. No, they're vulnerable and such. Sure, they can hold up roofs and stories without so much as a break, but beneath the surface lies a hollow or solid interior. That's where that resemblance to people resonates louder than a trumpet blasting into a megaphone.

Walls are able to make the world seem that they're strong with the job to hold things together. Only the deep thinking people who could get lost in contemplation and devote their time to it would see the beauty in the actual destruction of construction. It didn't matter if every measurement is absolutely precise, falters were a thing of naturality. They were destined to fuck up at one point, and in that one point, disappointment would radiate. That's why even if there was a misconception, it was better to hide it and bury it. Contradiction meets the fine line of reality and fantasy in those moments. Was I imagining myself holding up a roof or another floor? Either way, one falter could bring everything crashing down to destroy all beneath it.

Hotels have many secrets, not to their own marketing or promotion kind, but the kind that humans had. In spite of the analogies in which only the bored can form, they might just have a point... At least in my brain, they had a great point. A little bit of sanity was what I needed in my life. Sadly, with the way things were going, that wasn't going to be an option. It sounded more like a dream that the elderly came up with even if they couldn't obtain it. Age was always a damned thing that could plainly go fuck itself. Then again, anything could become a setback if you simply allowed it to be.

You could do anything with the right attitude. And as of right now, I wanted to be a hotel wall. Able to see everything, speak of nothing, look strong, but slowly decay from the inside. I was pretty damn close, but I loved speaking. Depending on the situation, however. Some things are better left unsaid.

"Get your ass up, Chasity!" Despite currently being beaten with a pillow on the back of the head, my morning was full of thought and wonder. Now it was full of annoyance and scowling.

Removing myself from being face down on the mattress, a hand raised to try and restrain the blows that the other currently was making. Debra always was the pushy type. Her impulsive attitude made me question why I still put up with her. Then I remember that she's my best friend and it's sort of an unspoken obligation.

"I'm up, stop! What the hell are you doing here?" I shut my eyes beneath the mess of blonde strands hanging loosely over.

"That's no way to greet your best friend," Debra said with a bit of a tongue clicking at the end. The pillow finally dropped as eyes slowly opened not really wanting to trust the situation. She was decked out in a pink dress that did well to compliment her caramel pigment. Her dark black hair hung loosely in curls that would take me hours to do myself. She always had a better shot at the cosmetology world than I would. Luckily, that wasn't my dream. I was living mine, but it was sort of complicated at the moment.

"Hmm.. Okay... Hi, how are you? Good? Now what the hell are you doing in my hotel room away from Tampa," I asked with that defiance that she usually hated just to put flair.

"Someone sent me plane tickets because they're angels I guess. I took advantage and I think I've been pulled into your wild world of people touching each other while wearing minimal clothing." Her distaste for wrestling was always audible. I stopped listening when my attempts to make her love it as much as I failed. Lately, I didn't have much say. Now I had all the say in the world.

"Sounds like Paul did something for me then. Having you around could be good, I suppose." She did just wake me up at seven AM however when there was literally nothing for me to do today.

"You suppose? I'm the light of your life. Which is sad since someone here refuses to date." Her statement was half true. Figures.

"The guys interested either come from the work place, which isn't happening, or the occasional bar I go to since clubs suck." My back met the mattress as I fell back, bringing the pillow back to be under my head.

"Which is why I'm here. I get to travel the world and entertain you correctly since you're zero fun. So get your ass up cause we're going shopping." Her hands found my sheet and she pulled it away from my body.

My baby blue panties greeted her that barely covered up anything and she bursted out laughing. It didn't help that _Let's fuck_ was printed across the back in cursive letters. With embarrassment radiating deeply in the pit of my stomach, I pulled the cover back up to hide. I was really glad at that I didn't wear just a bra like the normal routine. Pajamas fucking sucked. Though, they'd be life savers from Debra's currently roaring laughter.

"Why do you even have those?" Obviously referring to my underwear, I shrugged my shoulders. "They were a gift and they fit. They're for my eyes only anyway so why get rid of perfectly good underwear?"

I knew she was holding back the question of 'Who the hell gifted those to you'. Gladly, she just stalked towards the door.

"We're going out so get dressed properly and I'll meet you out here." No room was given for protest as she left without another word disappearing into the hallway.

She couldn't be serious about this. I had just got back on the road and wanted to sleep, but obviously, Debra had different plans. I'd have to thank and scold Paul for allowing her to tag along. It was no secret that I didn't have much friends that lied inside of the WWE roster. Even with staff, my knowledge was limited. The best way of knowing their names had to do with a damn name tag. It's not that I was a hard person to get along with, it was simply the fact that I could be counted as the most boring person alive. Hardly anyone ever paid attention to me nor made an effort to get to know me.

I was, or am, the type of person who will remain quiet until spoken to. It's not the best way to make friends in a company like this since everyone is always running around. Chats with new people aren't at the top of everyone's to do list. Even with the uphold of power, nothing makes genuine sense to have a close relationship with your boss. You get judged of ass kissing and all those wonderful rumors that people make up. However, those who actually give attention, they sort of scare me and spark my interest. The men who used to belong to the Shield, I was all too familiar with them. Jon, Colby, and Joe—I met them all and had history with them all.

Being around when their break up was in full swing allowed me to get to know all three of them. Of the three, Joe was currently my favorite since he hadn't done anything to piss me off. He was a kind gentleman with a beautiful wife and lovely daughter that seemed to be fond of me. His mic skills were rusty, but I always gave him the credit he deserved since he practiced backstage nonstop. For some reason, the crowd still didn't like him, but these days, they've been hopping on the Roman Empire bandwagon. In my previous work on RAW, we always got along and actually found time to spend around one another. He was a sweetheart, a brute, but a genuine sweetheart. Then there was the two men who I despised.

Colby was a nice guy at first, but he slowly changed over the course of the Shield imploding. Sure it's a storyline, but behind the scenes, Lopez was slowly becoming Seth Rollins in and out of the ring. The sudden push was thrust into his hands and it was getting to his head. It made him think that he could do whatever he wanted, to which he does. He developed into a cocky little shit that everyone actually hates in some way. He hadn't really done anything wrong with me; he changed that however. Not only did he strike, he did it when my confidence was booming to greater levels. For that, the man deserves consequences.

Then there's Jon. As previously mentioned, we fought basically every chance that we got. Around people, it was mere dogging, glares being brought across the room. Alone, the verbal abuse would reach new heights. It was never an enjoyable time for me. His words always lingered and haunted my mind however. 'It's all a game.' After a while, you can grow tired of being someone's toy when all you're really getting out of it is tears and a headache within solitude. What a dick.

The bottoms of my feet were ultimately sore at this point (the bags slung at my wrists weren't helping any either.) Debra was right about the whole shopping stuff. We kept at it until the sun seemed to be setting already. All those hours wasted when I could've been sleeping. She wasn't done there either. On the way back to the hotel, Mr. Nick Nemeth decided to give me a call. Usually the bleach blonde could make me smile with the sound of his voice, but I wanted to murder him when he invited me to a party with Debra listening in. Curse the car's bluetooth and everyone in the world who contributed to making it possible.

Parties weren't ever my thing. How the hell could I be comfortable when it was a party and filled with a bunch of wrestlers? Debra didn't take kindly to the sport, but she referred to many men as 'babes' she wouldn't mind 'wrestling' herself. She was such a fangirl and I'd disown her if she wasn't such a hater as well. However, her picks weren't too shabby since they pertained to being my type most of the time. Having to work with them was basically torture, but things could be worse. Stepping out of the vehicle along with Debra, the house that looked down at us was nowhere near Cena's, but it was definitely no measly apartment. It wasn't the first time Nick had invited me over to someone's party, but I was thoroughly impressed with the first time I actually accepted.

Well, Debra technically accepted.

"Glad you could make it!" Trinity exclaimed it and ran her arms around my frame. I returned the hug, but felt a certain suspicion. The divas were always nicer than superstars. It was sad they had to suck up to the boss in order to get more TV time rather than rely on their talent. Trinity was an exception. She had great talent, but awful booking. I was willing to let the sudden friendliness slide.

It was as if the entire roster turned out since I was greeting everyone except the man who invited me. Debra had stalked off in the middle of my handshakes, looking to make a move on Randy Orton. He was a taken man, but with the way she looked to be talking to him, things could always change. Heavy flirting, it was her style, I just hoped we'd be the ones going back together. His hand found the small of her back once he had asked her for a song, and I knew that was a dream now. Allowing her a little bit of fun wouldn't exactly kill me, but alone again I was basically. No Nick to be found.

"Oogling Orton? Didn't think you had much of a thing for guys passed their prime," Colby's snarky voice said. I turned around to meet his gaze as well as the smirk on his lips. Smacking that smirk wouldn't get me fired, maybe a storyline, but I knew for sure not fired. What did I really have to lose now if I was brought back to the potential hell of RAW?

"No, I was watching my friend. Orton is a bit of a heartbreaker, also has a girlfriend, but she doesn't seem to care. Looking out for her is what I do Lopez." I refused to give him any satisfaction to the stunt he pulled. If he didn't mention it, neither would I.

"Randy is a bit of a manwhore anyway. A lot like me."

That disgust filled my stomach recalling how his entire sex life was basically released and leaked. He'd cheated multiple times on his fucking fiancé and was even in the mix with an NXT diva at this point. It made me hate him even more since there was a slight feminist inside of me. Due to my disliking of feminists as well, I had to bury that trait and make sure no one could dig it out. But the lord was testing me.

"Right. Getting lucky tonight, or are you going to strike out? Zahara isn't here, but I'm sure you're bored with her already." Big mouth or not, it was remaining open.

"All these women are either taken or not worth it. There's you, but you're wearing the same shit you wear to work and that sort of lowers the sex appeal." He took a drink of the red cup he held in his hand as if I was the most disgusting woman on the planet. I wore my hair in a ponytail and the usual pencil skirt, but I now felt a wave of embarrassment since he was right. I shouldn't have been insulted, but my hand hit the cup out of his hand. The contents spilled down his white shirt and he scoffed loudly.

"What the hell is your problem? Did it bother you that I don't want to sleep with fucking trash?" Oh? What the hell was he doing? First he gets me a job I didn't want and now he grew the balls to call me trash?

My hand moved again, this time to slap the taste out of his mouth, but he caught it by the wrist, pulling me into him. The gasp that came from my lips only made him grip tighter as he held me close to his body.

"Is this too much for you, Ms. Waller? Am I going to make you quit before your job even begins?" The party was so alive that what was going on was barely noticeable. It looked more affectionate since most were drunk off their asses.

I gulped back whatever fear I had and shook my head. My eyes shut, threatening for tears to fall since it felt like he'd crush my bones with his tightening grip. "How about I do fuck you and give you what you want since you seem so willing?"

In that moment, an arm came in between us, a strong one at that to force us apart. Relief flushed through my cheeks as my eyes slowly opened. Nick was the man that I was expecting, but shock was in full force as Jon stood in front of me rather protectively. Now, I always thought that me and Jon were mortal enemies.

But let me tell you a little something about Colby and Jon.

The Shield was bound to break up one day and the three agreed on a date with certain standards to be followed through on. Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns were going to get their backs stabbed by Seth Rollins, which did happen. Then anarchy broke out when Colby bragged backstage about getting to work with a legend like Paul. Irritation seemed to be getting to both Joe and Jon, but Jon was taking it a bit mote to heart. As weeks went on, Colby's transformation to actually being Seth didn't seem to be stopping. There was more gloating as his and Jon's storyline was beginning to develop more and more. Colby began with the low blow insults, calling Jon every name in the book as to why he wasn't on his level and why he wasn't going to get passed midcard. Jon kept his cool, but when Hell in a cell came, every single move that was inflicted on Colby was one hundred percent real.

Jon would've killed him if he didn't give a little bit of care to how the script said things were supposed to go. After his disobeying, they began to slow his momentum down a bit. His merchandise broke records, pissed me off, but he fucking did it. He was becoming the anti hero that people loved, so that was a reason to knock him down a few levels. I aided in that because of his attitude. But he really didn't deserve nothing less of a push.

"Colby, why don't you just leave her alone," Jon rasped his question with arms crossing against his chest. I couldn't really see much of Colby now from where I stood behind Jon, but I managed to peek my head slightly to the side.

"And when did you suddenly become her knight in shining armor?" He spat it out like it was rotten. Much of what he was.

"I'm not her knight in shining armor, but I do hate her more than you do. So why don't you just let me take care of her?" Uh oh. I didn't like the sound of this now.

"You're literally zero fun, but I actually believe you. Do whatever you want with the trash behind you. You're both the same anyway." His eyes rolled as he disappeared further into the crowd.

Jon turned to face me and his eyes were filled with what I could make out to be fury. His hand came over mine, surprisingly loosely, and he began to move out to the entrance. He was walking fast, but I kept up, not wanting to pull away given how much bigger he was than me. When we made it outside into the cool night air, he moved us to where my back met the exterior of the house and his hands were at the sides of my head. He wasn't touching me anymore, but this was just as terrifying as his head bowed to look down at the floor. His muscles in his arms were very obviously shaking from the anger he was suppressing. I was growing worried when he had gone minutes without talking. Slowly, I cleared my throat, wanting to raise a hand to touch his hair.

"Jon—" His head snapped up and he pinned me with those icy orbs. My hand didn't even dare move now as he cut me off.

"Shut up. What the fuck, Chase? You're back on RAW and make it seem like you're going back home to work a fucking second rate show?" Now that was surprising. I blinked. It was all I could really do.

"I never said I was.." I squeaked it out, but his voice overpowered mine yet again.

"Cut the fucking bullshit. I know that you don't like me, but that night it really pissed me off that you didn't say anything except lame attempts to get under my skin. Do you know how it feels to find out from some cunt like Colby?" His creased eyebrows were the least of my worries. I'd seen him angrier before, but not in the longest time. This was like months before.

"It wasn't my idea to come back. Colby did what he wanted and said that I was. I don't know why, I should've asked him, but whatever." Anyone else but this man in front of me deserved the truth. I didn't know why I easily let it out to him.

"... So.. You're basically coming back to RAW because of Colby?" He arched an eyebrow, not really buying it, but I kept my own composure.

I straightened up my posture and put on my best business face that I could manage. "If you don't believe me, Mr. Good, then I don't care. I know the truth and it doesn't concern you. Mind your own." I pushed his arms from holding me captive and began to walk, but his hand wrapped at my wrist.

Eyes snapped up to meet his as he ground out, "Don't fucking do this, Chase. We both know you want to yell, don't shut me out."

Why couldn't he get it through his sick mind that I was done playing his game? Defiantly, I pulled forcefully away from his grasp. "Keep your hands off me, Mr. Good. I'm not some whore you get off to like you're used to. I am your boss." I held my head up as I stalked off. I could feel his blood boiling when he had touched my hand.

That's how I knew he was watching me as I found my car. Sure he saved me from possibly being physically hurt, but he was a mess himself. No one could hurt me more than he ever could.

I viewed my phone and saw a message from ten minutes before. Great, Debra was going home with Randy. Figures.

Turning on the car with keys to ignition, I went out onto the road. Nick would understand. Though, this could be added to the countless times that I blew him off.

After what went down tonight, I didn't feel bad.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I'm on Tumblr now. It's under the name of ambrosekstuff. It gives minor hints and such for this story in particular. It just allows the story to get exploited.**

 **R &R, and as always, Enjoy.**

RAW is one of the busiest shows of the week, which is not a surprise given the amount of views it receives. Usually, there's house shows and tapings to follow up on like Main Event and NXT. The general idea keeps the major wrestling fans in tune with what the WWE is up to. Fans could get a bit crazy and cause tumults if they wanted to with the ultimate hold of power over the organization. If they're not impressed, storylines get scrapped and things go back to normal. Tonight, I had recieved my copy of the script for the storyline we were already going to begin developing. It was the standard General Manager role that picked favorites pertaining to the authority. If I added just a little bit of intimidation to the equation, I could be the next Brad Maddox.

That wasn't really fair to him however since he was currently training to join everyone in the big leagues. He had full capability of doing so and was actually appealing to the eye. There was a catch with my character, though. I was to be a heel, a gal who takes and gives orders to escalate guys like Rollins' careers. Although it pained me terribly, I was slowly transitioning into being one of Colby's mindless tools. I was able to determine the rest of the matches, but always, I had to ensure that Colby was the main attraction as it should be. Even a few faces were supposed to 'foil' my plans to attack them every now and then. I was actually given a list on which faces could fail or prevail.

Cena could prevail, but Kofi Kingston couldn't. Sadly, Jon was on that list and very high up. It irked me enough that I had to push Lopez to the moon, but now even the likes of Jon Good? It pissed me off to no ends. The show had actually already started and the segment was ready to start. This was the moment where fans determined if I was a worthy enough heel. To be honest, I was hoping that I'd flop and everything would go back to normal. Then again, I was no Zack Ryder nor Heath Slater.

Sitting in a chair, legs were crossed over one another. The camera had panned up over my heels to my knees and to my facial structure. I was a bit uncomfortable, but I could actually hear the fans whistling even though they had no idea who I was. Sex appeal, you either got it or you don't. Sadly, those fans must've been blind.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the woman behind the scenes, the beautiful gal, my boss, Cheyenne Walker!" That name was cringe worthy even though it was vaguely similar to my own. I was utterly disgusted by Colby kissing my ass on camera since off it was the exact opposite.

I held my head high, standing from the rolling chair and stepped out onto the red surface of the mat. They always replaced it when there was 'special' announcements. A microphone was handed to me as the people were in silence. They couldn't give me a reaction just yet. If I failed, they simply wouldn't say or do anything. If I succeeded, they'd hate me with everything in their being. Neither was reassuring.

"Thank you, Mr. Rollins. Your introduction was as great as your in ring performance." The glossed lips of mine smiled towards him in the friendliest I could manage. I was imagining him as a fan that I usually saw interacting with others. It made it better. Burned still, but better.

It earned me just a few boos as planned, but that's not where the plan would end. Things were still being put in motion. You'd think they'd send out Cena so I could put him down as a babyface, but you can't rush those kind of feuds. Even Ambrose was one of the top guys so he wasn't exactly considered. That was amazing to hear.

"I have some line up for tonight now that I'm the general manager of RAW. We have some exciting matches ahead that include Seth Rollins and a certain other man who was decimated not too long ago by Brock Lesnar." Promoting Roman should've gotten me more heat, but the mention of Brock broke out chants. Shit.

I saw the stare that Colby was shooting me. It still had remnants of a smirk, but also a bit of agitation. Luckily no one was close enough to see it. Though, I was.

Damn it.

"Roman Reigns will face Seth Rollins, Joey Mercury, Jamie Noble, and of course Kane in a handicap match." How original. It was a borefest since I always saw these kind of matches play out constantly. There was more boos, but not the heel reaction one would opt for. Maybe my hesitance was showing. Even if it was, I needed to get my shit together.

"I think that's a great idea! You're doing great, Cheyenne!" Rollins applauded after his annoying voice filled the arena and that surely got him more heat. It was so easy for him and it pissed me off even further. He was doing it on purpose for damn sure.

His hand slapped the back of my shoulder rather hard and it stung. It took every ounce of power in me to stand still and just take it. No one saw the pain burning in my back. Thank God.

'Retaliation' blasted through the speakers and excitement roared immediately with each individual suddenly standing up. They were livid, sending their adulation towards Dean Ambrose as he appeared at the top of the ramp for an even bigger reaction. I saw the way Colby twitched his head, obviously bothered that Jon had an ungodly number of fans. At the same time that he was being bothered by this, I just kept asking myself the same question.

What the fuck? No really, what the fuck was he doing out?

I didn't really have anymore lines, so as soon as Jon got into the ring, I began to make my way out, going around the two men. In order to do that sadly, I had to approach Jon, and as soon as I did, an arm pulled me into his. The whistles were the most annoying thing after this. One hand splayed on his chest since he had pulled me so suddenly I thought I'd fall. The red exterior of the mat must've been made of something weird since it was so slippery. Jon was smirking now, the same smirk that I had seen many times before when I told him off every chance I got. My hand pushed against him to get him off, but one arm wrapped around my waist and held me tightly against him. He must've heard my whimper because I felt something low rumble from his chest.

Okay. What the fuck?

Snatching the microphone from my grasp, he raised it to his lips. "Ladies and gentlemen, Ms. Walker here seems to have made the main event of the night already."

That chorus of boos began and I arched an eyebrow as I attempted to break free yet again. This time I felt his palm touch my ass for a couple of seconds too long. After that, I stopped trying completely.

"She's put Roman, my brother, against Seth and his pack of puppies. How cute." Colby rolled his eyes from where he stood, a glint of something radiating in his glare. I didn't know if it was agitation or... Jealousy.

"I promise I won't interefere, beautiful. I'll behave. Somewhat. Here that is, behind the scenes however." He looked down at me flicking his eyebrows and suddenly I gathered up power. I pushed him with every bit of strength and only had him take a step back. Motherfucker.

Size difference definitely mattered here. I used that opening and moved to grab a microphone. "Dean Ambrose, even if you plan on coming out for that match, you're banned from ringside nonetheless."

He pouted... What... He pouted?!

Jon was getting under my skin and the crowd was eating it up. What the actual hell? "And you know what else? You have a match too, Ambrose. It's against the man that you're all too familiar with. In fact, why not make it with two men that you're incredibly familiar with."

His puzzled confusion matched my surging rage as I yelled into the mic. "You're facing Luke Harper and Bray Wyatt in a triple threat match. And guess what, Dean."

The microphone that he was holding had been dropped already, and he was bouncing back and forth with excitement. There was joy in those icy eyes. Actual joy. He was so fucked up.

"That match is next." It was my turn to drop the microphone before I pushed passed him to a symphony of hatred from the crowd. They knew of Luke and Bray's alliance. This would be one sided for damn sure. Seth followed after me, his hands clapping in a stubborn manner to praise me as the people yelled.

What really bugged me, however, was that Jon was touching me and such. Usually he'd insult me, not lay a hand anywhere. Now, he was being touchy and feely? I don't know which side terrifies me more.

* * *

I took a deep breath as I looked at the paperwork in front of me on the desk. It was all too much to keep on forcing myself to go through paper clips and staples with different colored pens. The mistakes that I made had to be scribbled out and just made it look unprofessional. There was no white out, so they'd have to suffer from my horrible penmanship whether they liked it or not. The door swung open and in came a happy, very sweaty if I may add, Jon Good. He moved his arms back and forth as if he was dancing, so that gave me indication that someone won his match. Couldn't Rotunda do one thing right and beat the living hell out of him? He probably did, but I didn't feel like turning on the monitor to watch Jon's match.

I never did.

"I'm guessing that you won your match out there.."

That part wasn't scripted. That match wasn't even supposed to happen, but then again, I was still actually in charge. They couldn't do shit to me.

"Nope. Lost it. But I got a few good hits in. Broke a barricade and everything." Then... What?

"... Why are you so happy then? It's honestly freaking me out." I placed the pen down and sat up straight. Jon distracting me from my paperwork could count as an excuse. I really didn't want to do it.

"Because I found the perfect fuel." His smirk displayed one dimple, as he ran a hand through his hair.

Oh no. "You didn't set the place on fire did you?!" I immediately stood up and looked to push passed him, but his hands came over both my wrists to turn me to face him.

He sat half leaned onto the desk now behind as it gave me more of a leverage to be face to face. Curse my shortness since he was still slightly above me.

"Don't worry, Chase. I didn't set anything on fire. I meant that I found the perfect fuel to your flame." This was no Shakespeare in the park for quotes.

Scoffing, I pulled my hands from him and put them onto my hips. "What the fuck do you mean by that, Jon? Seriously, what the hell was that out there?"

"... I know why you were at that party a few days ago." That smile was still there and still killing me softly.

"I don't see how it's any of your business." Oh the party. I recalled his leading over to the side of the house where he pushed me there. Not rough enough to hurt me like Colby's death grip, but it still bugged me at how much strength he really had.

"My boss—my business. Anyways, you were there to see Nemeth, right?" He raised an eyebrow as he had asked his question. Slowly, I nodded my head. Wondering where exactly he was heading with this. "I've seen you two flirt before. You sort of have a liking to him as I've seen."

This is weird. No, it was disturbing. I had enough with Debra on my ass about relationships. Now Jon was at it? It didn't add up since I considered him my mortal enemy. I was most likely his third or fourth considering the long list of people he has pissed off.

"And...? My love life shouldn't be any of your concern." His fingers suddenly snapped as he stood erect, towering over me.

"Exactly! I had this idea, you see. You weren't getting the right reaction out there as a heel. And who pisses you off more than anyone in the world?" Thumbs pointed towards himself as he mouthed 'this guy'. "But then I remembered, you wanted to keep things professional, so of course you wouldn't get mad if I insulted you or provoked you in that sort."

His hands claimed mine now, stroking fingers over the back. I tried to pull away, but he just brought me into his chest. He smelled of cigarettes and some kind of cologne. That was the very fragrance that I would now make sure to stay away from at all costs.

"Why not flirt a little myself, then? It pisses you off and it brings me some closure in this game of ours again. Insults could only go so far, but touching.. Well." His hands fell to the small of my back looking to drift down further, but I pushed him off.

"Fuck off." I growled it out and he laughed, winking.

"Atta' girl. You know how to play already. I look forward to continuing this, Chase." He began to go to the door, but as he had it open, he spoke once more.

"Excuse me, I look forward to flirting with you, Ms. Waller." He blew a final kiss before leaving completely.

What the fuck? He had told me many times before that my very existence disgusted him. He even constantly made jokes about how many guys had wrecked the thing that used to be of purity. Funny thing was, I was only ever with one other man and that ended in flames. How was he not vomitting at the thought of touching and giving me cheesy lines? How was he smiling when he was going to end up giving me stupid pet names? How the fuck could Jon Good not be sick to his stomach at the thought of flirting with me?

More importantly, why wasn't I...


	4. Chapter 4

**You all know the Tumblr account. If you don't, flip over to the previous chapter for it. c:**

 **Hope you enjoy, loves.**

"You did a great job, hun," Nick's voice was the perfect remedy for my insomnia that I currently had. It was the very escape that I needed from the calls being recieved from the roster to congratulate me.

It had been a busy two days with minor appearances to make, plus Smackdown to tape up since they were still getting someone to take care of it. I wouldn't mind a revamped Theodore Long, but then again, I sort of would since that blue and white show was like my baby. Transitions from one working place to the next were always hard on perfectionists for the very reason of needing things to be done in a certain way. All of the employees knew of how I paid very great attention to delivering entertaining matches for the public to view. Their constant calls of praise and a bit of criticism was just what I missed about being apart of such a big show. The industry itself was big enough as a whole and Smackdown had many ratings, but RAW was live and no mistakes could be made. You didn't exactly have to be a rocket scientist to figure out just how much that scared me. Fortunately, the only bit of criticism was from Cena and it was regarding that going off script is good but not to be done all the time.

I even recieved a call from the WWE's recluse Brock Lesnar and that was certainly enlightening since he gave an idea of how to dish out violence. The only person that I hadn't received a call from, yet if I know him, was Jon. Hell, even Colby called saying that I had done a good job.

I was beginning to get anxious on what he was going to end up saying. Given our last encounter, it'd be fucking crazy in some odd philosophical way of his. How charming.

"I don't know.. Cena didn't really have a lot to say except that going off script can be dangerous if I'm not careful." As to anyone's mind, you could receive all the compliments in the world, but the one insult will always stand out the most. It wasn't even an insult considering his friendly tone, but it still bugged me.

"Well, he's right. People can get into actual fights and you end up having actual backstage rivalries like Jon and Colby." That was cringe worthy.

Actual fights. Were me and Jon that discreet? Anyways, that was a good point. Those two had trouble being in the same room as one another. What a tragic upbringing. I loathed them both in the end so they could end up killing each other for all I care.

"I suppose I get it. Has someone ever pissed you off in actual reality," the question was asked kind of slowly. It was hard to tell what was real and what wasn't anymore.

"Hmm... Not that I can remember. I don't necessarily take anything to heart. Which brings me to something I need to talk to you about. What was that out there with Jon? He was getting a bit close to you. Plus, your performance looked to be genuine anger." Oh no. He wouldn't think that we actually conversed and came up with that, would he?

"Honestly, I don't know. He wasn't even supposed to be out there, let alone touching me in anyway. I don't get why he has the need to get under my skin." I heard his sigh of relief.

Aww, he was jealous. Nick was definitely the manwhore type, but at the same time, he knew how to reel you in. It didn't make sense that he had a great persistence in pursing me. I considered myself a plain Jane even if others told me otherwise. Self esteem issues, I had 'em. Another reason for Nick not to go after me. It wasn't worth it.

"Maybe he just likes you as much as I do. I don't know, have you stood him up more than me?" Woah, woah. That time, I really did cringe. I could hear the sudden change in his voice when he had finished that sentence.

"Because if you did, I could comprehend why he'd go out there just to piss you off," Nick added another edge. Sigh, I didn't really know of what to say now.

"Chasity, why won't you date me? Even when there's a slim chance, you either don't want to go, don't show up, or I miss you."

"Nick.." It was all I could really manage.

"No, really. Tell me, do I have to be forward as Jon was on RAW to get your attention? I'm not that kind of man. I'm not going to keep waiting for someone who doesn't want me." But I do fucking want you asshole.

"... Look, I do want to date you, I swear, the problem is that work relationships don't do good. If we don't end up getting along, it'll be even worse having to face each other at work."

He scoffed from the other side. I was glad we were respectively in our own homes rather than in a hotel. God forbid him from showing up at my room. Debra, however, was in the kitchen while I was in my room. The house wasn't small, but if I started yelling, she'd want to know every single piece of information I had.

"Then why are you letting some asshole like Jonathan Good get all grabby in front of millions of people just to entertain them?" Oh?

"Nick, I just told you that I had nothing to do with that. Jon is fucking crazy and also not someone I can control. There is nothing between us." He was becoming livid. I heard him stand up, no walking actually. He was going outside? Great.

"Sure. For all I know, he's shoving his tongue down your throat when no one's looking." Welp, that was in my head now. Disgusting.

"Oh what the fuck ever. You know, I actually liked you and you pull this shit. No, goodbye." I hung up immediately not wanting to share another word.

First of all, we weren't dating for him to begin to make decisions about who I could talk to on a damn TV Show. Second of all, I hated Jon with every fiber in my being so that was for damn sure straight out of the window. How the hell could he get so angry about Jon getting a chance when there was no fucking chance? Of all people, I had expected Nick to understand that Jon was the bad guy here and not me. But I needed to realize something; because Jon was the more known anti hero, I was always going to be the bad guy. It wasn't a thing to laugh at and it was only going to get worse if I stayed any longer on RAW. It had been my first day and I wanted to quit already due to people already making it harder. Though, I loved wrestling so much...

I grabbed a pillow, screamed into it, and fell back against the mattress. It was midnight since we started talking. Glancing at the digital clock at bedside, it was already two in the morning. Which made me wonder why the hell Debra was still up. Nonetheless, I forced myself to go to sleep.

 _The door was locked, I was breathing so erratically at that point already. Falling down to the corner of the room in defeat, tears stained my eyes as I tried to gather strength up. There wasn't any windows for my escape, so the best I could hope for was that he wouldn't find me. Sobbing into my knees as quietly as I could manage, I recalled the past events that lead me up to this. I had told him to lay off on the flirting since it was sort of getting me mad. He only smiled and nudged me further; the second that I threatened to end his career, he went ballistic. I never imagined him so angry, never seen him the way he ended up. He wasn't looking to hit me, but he sure as hell started to throw things awfully close to my body as if it was a target._

 _That's how I knew that the whole being into me was just an act because he was so bored. But when he finally turned to face me, shaking in anger, I bolted and ran into a random room. Sure we were at the arena, but there couldn't have been many rooms for him to choose from, right?_

 _Knocks began to pound at the door, I honestly thought that any normal human being would've been bleeding by now, but this was no normal human being. This was Jonathan Good for crying out loud, and when things didn't go his way, he made sure to take whatever he could to ensure that they did. There was many objects he could've taken out his anger on, but the fact that he actually came after me, that was terrifying. The horrifyingly terrible sense dropped to the pit of my stomach as I tried to keep quiet. When the knocking finally stopped, I closed my eyes and brought my hand to my mouth, catching my breath of relief. Standing, I used the wall against my back for leverage since I was still a bit shaken by what had happened. His anger flipped like a switch and all it took was the right words. No amount of insults could really drive into him._

 _If it was personal, you'd better wish that he'd kill you right away. The door suddenly came open being kicked in with an ungodly amount of force. Jon's gaze met mine as he stepped forward. Anyone could catch him in whatever sick plan he wanted to hurt me with, but he just got even closer._

 _It was becoming mindnumbing that I had nowhere to run, just push and strain myself against the wall, hoping that I'd melt into it. It was of no use. His body weight held me down by the majority as his hands gripped at my wrists, raising them above my head. I was rendered speechless, knowing he'd hit me with all his force and the worst he could do was let me live from it. Whatever collision with his strength would sure as hell knock me unconscious, ready to do more damage once I awoke. Jon was my living nightmare that would never end._

 _Instead of the punch that I was looking for, he just stared at me, eyes on eyes. There was so much damage written in those distressed icy orbs of his even if I barely knew anything of his past._

 _"I won't fire you... Even if I wanted to." It was a weak attempt to get him away, but I thought it was called for. I didn't want to fire him. Not only that, it'd be the worst thing for business considering what kind of stardom he brought to the table. Suspension, however, when I was at home, yeah that could be done._

 _He still didn't say anything, looking almost apologetic for lashing out. I wanted to believe that look, but I couldn't. In a split second, his lips were on mine, probing them with a certain brutality that made it impossible to pull from. Even if I tried, my head would hit the wall behind. His large hands cupped my cheeks as he went ahead and explored the outskirts of my mouth, coaxing me to kiss him back. Although I was trembling from fear, I still struggled, trying to move somehow. He just kept staying one step ahead. When I moved my hands, his grip on my wrists would get tighter._

 _If I moved my legs, his own would pry them further apart until the point of where he was fully between them. There was no escape here, if anything, the only way would be to give him what he wanted. Slowly, I moved my lips, trying to match his intensity, but his own dominance won out. As soon as I tried and fought his tongue, I heard him press further into me. His hands finally left my wrists, but they found my thighs to wrap my legs around his waist._

 _Seperating our mouths, I gasped for air, wondering just how long the connection had lasted. Jon was still calm for some odd reason, but instead of continuing, he dipped his head to bury into the crook of my neck. As soon as that happened, I saw someone standing in the doorway. They were sad, torn, angry, frustrated, and confused all at once somehow._

 _It was Nick..._

* * *

The dream was still managing to bother me, even if it was completely all Nick's fault. He just had to put the image of Jon shoving his tongue down my throat into my mind right before I went to bed. It was already yet another Monday and the week hadn't been eventful leading up to this day. Nothing had really happened, but now my script had been read up and memorized down to Jon's lines. Due to his little interruption last week, creative felt that the chemistry between us wasn't at all a fluke. It was a little early to put me with such a huge star of Ambrose's criteria, but they couldn't shake the idea of doing the storyline. Not much was said, but they were apparently going to make Dean look even crazier by his actions to pursue me. If that wasn't crazy, than what was?

The camerman followed Jon in as the commercial had just finished up. There he stood, leather jacket and all, with his taped up hands clasping together. The cameraman had moved off to the side to get both of us into view while my pen was put down onto the desk. I had the first line, but something about Jon's smirk made me want to slap him across the face.

"What do you want, Ambrose?" It was firm and my arms crossed against my chest as I arched a single eyebrow.

He took a seat on my desk, not tearing his gaze away from my eyes. "Besides you? Well, tonight, it seems like I'm not booked for anything yet again and we still have about two time slots."

His legs swung over the desk so that part of his back was facing the camera and his full frontal was facing me. I was glad the camera wasn't seeing his face now because he was flicking his eyebrows and licking his lips. That disgust radiated yet again. Not because of him, but because I wasn't disgusted by him. That makes sense...

"Obviously, you can't have me. But a match, that could be arranged. The Big Show actually came in here earlier asking for a match, so good luck with that." I could actually hear booing from in here. That was actually cool.

Mista Dean Ambrose merely chuckled and stood up going around the chair in which I was seated. His hands found my shoulders and went down to my elbows. Curse him for being gentle and still scaring the hell out of me.

"Thanks, darling. I knew I could count on you booking something for me." In that time, I pushed his hands off of me and stood from the chair. His facial expression showed innocence as his hands were at the top of the leather chair. "Get the hell out of my office, Ambrose. Now."

I was as stern as I could front and he was supposed to blow a kiss and be out, but instead, he pressed me into the desk behind me now. The cameraman had to move to yet another angle just to get a side view of what was going on. I heard those cheers out there for Dean to have been so bold to hold me there. I must've showed my fear because he simply whispered.

"Don't be scared, Ms. Walker." Even in the fake name, it sent chills down my spine. He drifted his hands to touch my cheeks and my eyes shut tightly, feeling incredibly uncomfortable. His hot breath ended up on my neck and that's where I lost it.

I pushed him away from me to the best of my ability and brought my hand across his face with a loud smacking noise echoing. The shock from the universe should've filled my ears, but all my senses did nothing as I just looked at Jon's tilted head. It stayed that way for a few more seconds before he finally turned back to face me.

Anger filled his eyes and his lips were in a thin line. I was about ready to scream that I didn't want to do this storyline, but he suddenly formed a grin.

"I like it rough too." He winked and I could hear whistles from the crowd as he finally left through the door.

My heart was racing against my chest as I fell back into the chair. I was incredibly distraught from the ssituation until the cameraman said, "and we're clear!"

"Nice job, Chasity." He was out in a matter of seconds and in came in none other than Jon.

He still had that signature smirk in place, but I was scowling as if the man had committed murder right before my eyes. The match was going to happen a little later in the night, but for right now, Jon was intent on annoying me. He removed his jacket and pulled up a steel chair to sit in front of my desk with his chin resting on his hand. My arms were overlapped against my chest, wanting nothing more than to hit his elbow so that he'd faceplant the surface of the desk, but I didn't want to move. He had gone out of line yet again and I wanted to smack him, yet again, for being such an idiot. It was actually a pride swelling experience that his cheek was a deeper shade of pink. I was hoping and praying that it was stinging for the stunt that he tried to pull. My own anger was beginning to slowly consume me and I needed to find a reprieve from the likes of Jon.

"That was some slap, Chase," Jon broke the silence with his raspy voice filling his sentence.

"I hurt my hand. Your thick head did that to me." With the way that Jon's cheek was tinted, it hadn't occurred to me that my palm was probably on fire.

"I'd be sorry if I wasn't the one who took the damn hit." Oh boo hoo.

"You deserved it. I know that they're making us do this storyline now, but I have boundaries." The icy orbs of his rolled and he shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't care honestly. Chase, what's our job here?"

Was this a trick question...? "Follow the script in the WWE as the boss and the wrestler."

He made a buzzer noise as he leaned off his hand. "Nope. We're entertainers. The second that you came on camera because of sir Lopez was the second that you crossed the fine line of actual authority and acting. Sorry to break it to you sweetheart, but you're just a decent actress."

He put emphasis on decent and I shook my head now. "I am still your boss, Mr. Good. So choose your words wisely in elaborating for me." Jon stood from the steel chair and remained looking down at me.

I know he hated me to call him that, but that was the sole reason I did it. "You're good at what you do, Chase. You book great matches. However, when that camera turns on, you can act, but there's just a certain level of awkwardness that radiates."

"I don't see what this sudden criticism has to do with the shit you're trying to pull." I'd defy him to the ends of the earth if I had to.

"It has everything to do with it, damn it. Last week, you were supposed to come off as a tyrant, but instead, people kinda liked you. I came out and that went out the window because you actually do hate me. A while ago, it was obvious you stomached down the fact that I was to be saying lines off a piece of paper so you could get through it. That geniune anger, it wasn't there. When I went off that very piece of paper again, you slapped me and the people ate it up. Face it Chase, I simply make you a better heel." Now it was my turn to stand up.

"Jon, you always do this. The last time I was here, you caused me so much fucking pain with your pitiful insults and then even more with your stupid actions. When Colby did the shit he did, I made sure that I wouldn't get hurt again, but guess what, it's already happening. You're affecting my personal life believe it or not with the going off script and winging it. I swear if you even do one more thing, I just might.." I trailed off, having thought through this multiple time since the call with Nick.

Jon seemed out of focus now as he began to speak. "You just might what, Chase?" He knew what I was going to say. After silence overtook the room and I hadn't responded, he continued. "... You just might quit? Go back to working from your home to be in charge of Smackdown..?"

It almost sounded like I had wounded him. Serves him right. "Just because your knight and shining armor portraying Dolph fucking Ziggler thinks shit is going on between us, it ruins your personal life? You never even went out with him, why are you so upset about it?" Wait...

"How the fuck did you know about Nick.." That seemed to catch him off guard as if he wasn't supposed to say anything. His hand ran to the back of his neck as he tried to think of something. I knew that look well. "Answer me, Jon."

"The guys have been talking in the locker-rooms as of late. I'm not one to gossip, but if I hear my name, I listen. Apparently, Nick gave up on you and now all the guys are wondering if there actually is something going on. They ask me, but I tell them to fuck off... You know I'm not much of a talker when it comes to getting personal..." He could've been lying. I should've thrown him out. No, I should've suspended him and kicked him. I should've done a lot of things, but I knew him too well. He wasn't lying.

Even though I really wanted him to be since I couldn't believe Nick talked about me in that way. I knew Jon wasn't lying since anything that had to do with life outside of wrestling was off limits. He was such a secretive guy that kept to himself.

"I wanted there to be something with Nick... I guess that's why I'm so upset about it.." I answered his question from earlier in the softest tone I could manage. He looked relieved that we steered off the topic of what was said by other wrestlers. It seemed as if this wasn't the first time Nick talked about me.

"I don't know what to tell you honestly.. I usually enjoy arguing with you, but not like this I guess.. Sorry for ruining shit." It wasn't a sincere apology since something was obviously bothering him about Nick, but I simply nodded my head.

"I shouldn't of really blamed you.. I guess I can see why you've been being the way you are.." Entertainment. Sure Jon was crazy at times, but he did know how to make sense. Even if it was hard to understand.

"Are you going to quit...?" It was blatantly asked and I had to gulp back. I was still a bit hurt that Nick would even dare act like that. Yell at me one night and then gossip to a bunch of guys in underwear? Wrestlers were worse than a sewing circle.

"I don't know if I can handle this kind of shit, honestly. I love it hear more than anything—"

He cut me off immediately. "Then nothing else should matter."

"It's not that simple, Jon.."

"Nothing ever is."

He had a point.. "I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I don't want to live like this either. It's complicated."

"Then what do you want, Chase?"

We've known each other too long for this.. "Equilibrium. I want a balance of good and bad.. It fucking sucks when it's all bad."

"Life's not fair like that.."

"That's why it's a dream that I have.."

"Maybe you should mold your dream without lowering your standards then." Before I could answer, in came in Paul Wight, or as others know him: the Big Show.

Paul was the sweetest giant that you could ever meet. He did an excellent job in the WWE since day one and just simply loved putting guys over nowadays since he already had his time. He was ultimately a lovable guy. As long as you didn't piss him off that is.

"Jon, our match is next..." With the way that me and Jon were standing across from each other, Paul raised an eyebrow.

"Am I interrupting something..?"

"Yes." "No." Me and Jon spoke at the same time. Why would he say yes?

"Sorry guys, but we need to get going since time is limited." Paul left from the room and Jon turned back to me.

"I know I fucked up early, but I'll fix this. I promise." What? Fix what?

"Jon, what do you mean—" he had ran out the door obviously to beat the time.

I had a sudden strong urge to turn on the TV and watch his match. I never brought myself to watch them since I hated seeing him win or even lose with that damn cockiness. For some reason, he didn't come off as a monster to me. He came off as... Human.

Even then...

I didn't turn on the monitor.


	5. Chapter 5

**Questions to be answered in this chapter as new ones will arise.**

 **I only do own Ms. Chasity and that's all I can be held accountable here for.**

 **Enjoy the lengthy chapter.**

The final twirl was done in front of the mirror as the skirt part of my dress created a disc shape. It was an absolutely breath taking appeal of white that Debra had gotten me for whatever reason, but I wasn't thinking twice to get rid of it. Not much had occurred since Monday except the fact that Jon had won his match, but hasn't spoken to me since. For a guy who's going to 'fix' something, God knows what, he has an odd way of letting me know of what that is and how it'll be done. Smackdown was in its own slow endeavors that I couldn't find myself to really add much of a spark of with all that was on my mind. The only real break that I had was Wednesday and today, which is Thursday, in where Debra should be bursting in through the door any second. With all the work being done, I had a feeling that it was too good to be true that she was being a patient one. Just like that, she bursted in through the door and clapped her hands upon viewing me with the dress on.

Speak of the devil.

"You. Look. Amazing," Debra took pauses in between her words as she bolted towards me. Her hands began to toy with the material as I held my own gaze in the mirror. Tonight was nothing special of occasion. There was really no damn reason for Debra and I to go out.

"I like it.. But I can use it another day. Right about now, the most I can really do with it is say that it fits." My hand moved to bring the zipper down at the side, but Debra's stopped me in the point of action. She slapped my hand away and shook her head fervently.

"Uh no. We're going out. Come on, it'll be fun." Her hands found vises around my arm as she tried to pull me, but I refused to budge. Whatever she was trying to get me to go to, I wasn't going to be subjected by whatever plans she had.

"No, it won't. It'll just be pathetic for me to walk in to where we go and have you there by my side when people know of who I am." Eyes rolled recalling that a simple breakfast earned me people asking what Dean Ambrose was like backstage. My answers always consisted of 'gritty, dirty,' and of course my favorite, 'rough'.

"I know you're upset about Nick, but this will surely take your mind off of things. Believe me."

"I don't want to believe you. I don't wanna talk about Nick and I don't want to fucking go out, damn it. Why can't you understand that?" Before hell could break loose in an argument, my ringtone went off. It was work.

Thank God for work.

Immediately moving away from Debra, I lifted the phone to my ear as I answered. "Ms. Waller speaking."

"Hello, Chase." Oh boy.

Sure, my conversation with Debra ended on a short note, but now I had Jon to deal with. Despite his slight showing of compassion on Monday, I still didn't take warmly to him.

"What do you want?" His chuckle elicited a huff of air from me in annoyance.

"Your undivided attention for the next month or so.." I could actually see his fingers tapping on his collarbone. It was too hard not to since I knew his habits so well.

"The next month or so...?" There was much that I could ask, but I could only think of so much. It was the first question that needed an answer.

"Sorry, darling. Should've been more elaborate so to speak. What I meant was simply that you and I are going to continue the storyline for one more whole month." Wait.. What?

"Jon, the entire thing is supposed to last us four. I don't know what the hell you're babbling about." As soon as Debra heard the name Jon, she was out of my room. I've talked about him enough for her to not want to even think about him.

"Well, I went to headquarters regarding the whole matter of you and I. I told them about how you were thinking of resigning—"

No, no, what the fuck? Was he insane? Well, more so than I believed? "Why the fuck would you tell them that if I haven't even come to a decision myself, asshole!"

He purred into the phone... Usually, he would've yelled back. As of late, he'd been awfully weird. Too out of the ordinary for my liking.

"Because, Chase, I knew that if you ended up talking with them, you'd be gone again. Don't try to lie to me either and say that you were gonna stay." He was right..

There had been way too much thinking done lately for me to end up deciding that I wanted to stay there. It was inevitable.

"... Continue.." Giving him a chance to explain himself wouldn't kill me. I hoped it wouldn't.

"As I was saying, I went to the bosses in charge regarding your thoughts of quitting and they said that you were one of the company's biggest assets. They said that if it bothers you so much, they'll cut the storyline short depending on how we feel after a month's duration." Again, there was something he wasn't telling me. Last time, it had to do with Nick. This time, it was about me. Not pestering him was the way to go last time, but if I was the subject, than I had full right.

I just had to know. "And...?"

"... And, we are to spend that month together with no separation. They said that if we learn to behave like civilized adults, they'll even consider extending your contract."

There was always a catch. The sad thing was that the catch had to do with a man that I loathed with every single bit of me. There was no way in hell that I'd even humor the option of spending one whole month with Jon. If it meant four months of a storyline, I was fine. That much was a God given compared to spending time with the man. "Bullshit, I won't do it."

"You see, that's why I went ahead and called you before they did.." Okay, now it was scaring me.

"I don't care if it's you. That's worse. I would've denied them too." His heavy breath was let out and I could feel that I was missing something here.

"That's the thing.. I already told them that you'd be okay with it."

In those very seconds, I felt my heart hit my stomach. I'd never felt so low in my life as my knees gave out beneath me. I would share a room with Colby Lopez and do whatever he wanted if he asked. I would go on a date with Nick and then have him never call me after he got what he wanted. However, I couldn't see myself standing correctly if I had to live and travel with Jon for an entire month. My legs were bent and I sat onto them as my facial expression had went blank, drowning out seemingly every sound imaginable. Nothing could make sense here, no matter how much someone would try to make me believe it. My breathing must've been erratic because Jon's voice was booming me from my trance.

"Chase... Are you still there? Come on.. Talk to me.." I couldn't talk to him. Nothing right could be said.

He pissed me the fuck off.

"You made that decision for me, asshole! You didn't give me a fucking chance to think it over. You just thought what was right and did it, but guess what Jon, it's not fucking right. It's all fucking wrong!" I was yelling, shaking from my own anger.

"Chase, listen to me. I know that I went out of my way to do this, but you have to understand—"

"There's nothing to understand! You didn't even tell me and now I'm stuck with you with no fucking choice! I hate you more than anything in the entire world!" It must've hurt his ear with the way I was screaming. He did this. Brought out the raging anger within me.

"You're mad... Okay, I get that.. But, Chase, if I would've told you about it, how fast would you have turned it down," he asked with that annoying rasp.

I didn't want to listen. "I would've turned it down in a fucking heartbeat—"

This time, he was the one who dared to cut me off. "Exactly. I'm not going to be the reason that you lose your job, Chase. You love it here. I know you do. Now that this change has happened because of Colby, well now I don't want you to hate it again and ultimately leave. Just one month with me, and if you still hate me, you can get away from me. Don't have to deal with me any longer.." Hmm...

Well... One month. One month of dealing with Jon and then getting rid of him completely while hosting a huge show like Monday night RAW? Sure, Colby went out of his own way and brought me back to the hell I escaped, but the reason I left in the first place was Jon. Now, I had the opportunity of having the dream job while not having to deal with that very man. Not anymore. It sounded almost too good to be true.

"Okay.. I'm not saying that I'm agreeing with it... But, I'll think on it.." He was letting out sighs of relief. It was bugging the hell out me. One month of that?

"Okay... I guess I can be alright. I won't be that bad, anyways.."

The fact that he had to say, 'that bad' showed that he was actually that bad.

"Whatever.. Listen, I gotta' get some sleep.." His chuckle was what pushed me to arch an eyebrow.

"At only nine at night?" Ugh. I was tired. I didn't need him to make fun of my bedtime choosing. Besides, this was one of the first times that I was sleeping earlier than usual.

"Yes. Just stop.. I've sort of had the whole world collapse on me right now."

"Ah.. I understand now. Sorry, darling." Those pet names were beginning to get to me.

"Just have a good night's rest, okay? Seeing you on Monday will be great. Sweet dreams, Chase." His voice purred before he hang up. I couldn't believe my ears right about now. His awfully nice attitude was starting to become too much. Whatever contract they'd pull up for the both of us to sign in agreement, I had to think about fully. He did have some depths of change... Maybe living with him for one month wouldn't be so bad. I know that Jon had already told them my 'answer', but everything these days required a contract. It was a safe assumption that I'd have to sign one come Monday.

* * *

Monday came slowly, it was the longest few days of my life if I was being honest. The thoughts of going through with just one month of Jon kept being juggled around in my mind and although it'd be fast to get rid of him, I couldn't trust him for one second. It was an agonizingly slow contemplation, but I finally convinced myself that I wouldn't be able to do it. To my confirmation, they had in fact made a contract for me to deny or sign on this very day that they informed me on Saturday. The main purpose of the contract was just simply to prove that no matter what happened, the WWE couldn't be held responsible. For example, if I were to break a leg while moving and traveling with Jon for an entire month, they had to pay for my medical expenses but I couldn't sue them. It was basically a contract stating that I wouldn't, nor Jon, put the WWE in jeopardy in any way.

It also showed that I'd stick with the entire month no matter what, or they could be the ones to terminate my contract or even sue me. It was a thing that could be brought to court, so might as well deny signing it altogether since the man had caused me so much pain in the past. One would think that I was overreacting, but no one knew of what he was capable of like I did. Maybe only his enemies, but they would even say no to spending time with a guy who could make their lives hell. Since my return, no thanks to Lopez, he had been behaving differently instead of his usual insult extravaganza that he pulled. With the change of attitude, flashbacks of the times that I had been witness to his temper kept on flooding my memories. That's what had made my days longer, having to suffer and relive the moments where he made me feel like shit. Anytime that I thought against saying no, his voice would fill my ears and his facial expressions would invade my vision.

 _"What the fuck was that out there, Chase? Do you not understand the importance of that match? You made everyone think that I was capable of being a worthless piece of crap just like you. Fuck Bray Wyatt and fuck you too, the people don't need to know fucking shit of my past. If you even dare to try and pull that shit again, Chase I'll make sure that you epitomize the term of roadkill. Better yet, I'll make sure that you lose your job and have to work off of the damn streets spreading your legs for every stranger that comes through. Paying you in the cheapest of ways because of the looseness that they feel around their small pricks. It's where you belong, Chase. It's where you should always be."_

 _"... I'm not your mother, Jonathan."_

 _"... What did you just fucking say?"_

The door swung open and in came a sweat drenched John Cena, the camera panning onto him as I heard the mixed reaction. The lens soon came over to me with my arms crossed against my chest, looking disrupted from my paperwork. In actuality, he disrupted me from my cringworthy memory, which gave me a wave of absolute relief. I must have lead him to believe otherwise well because he approached the desk with his hands coming up to his hips. The United States championship was slung over his right shoulder as his facial expression showed that of solemnity. I merged my lips into a warm smile at John's attempts with a stand from behind my desk. With the events from earlier, people knew shit was going to go down since I had put he and Jon in a handicap match against Rusev, Seth, and his little security team. At this point, I was guessing that he and Jon had lost that match.

"Well, well, well. Our so called general manager sits here in bliss while there's a show supposed to be ran correctly." John folded his arms this time, adjusting the belt that hung off his shoulder.

"And that's what I'm doing, Cena. My paperwork in which keeps the show running steady, is not being done right now. That's your fault. So, what do you want? I already gave you a damn match." He spat his disgust as he shook his head.

"I'm fine with fighting more than one person, if you even call J&J Security a disadvantage, but when other of your helpers go down there to raise hell, I think that I should address this little biased situation." It was my turn to laugh in the midst of this. Being the boss was cool.

"There is nothing biased going on. Besides, I didn't even watch the match. How could I have sent some people?" My question struck him like a lightning bolt.

"Exactly, Cena. I didn't do it. It's not my fault you've made so many enemies in the WWE, if anything, that's on you. So unless you have something else to say—"

The door came open yet again and both of our heads turned in that direction, eyes meeting a twitchy lunatic. He rolled his shoulders as he cleared his throat, uplifting a hand. The reaction for him was ridiculous. They loved him..

"I have something to say, sweetheart." He strode over and made it deliberate, having me have to anticipate his actions. Knowing him, he was going to stray off of script.

"I don't want to hear a single word from you, Ambrose." Eventually, he got to me, stood behind me in his towering size as his hands found my hips. There's the change in script. Asshole.

"I want to hear a lot of words from you. My name included, doll... Tell me.." His breath was on my ear now.

"How loud can you scream it?" I wiggled out of his grasp and went around the desk where John stood. I went behind him as the camera had all three of us in its view now.

"I won't be screaming anything except you're fired if you don't cut your crap, Ambrose." He feigned hurt as his hands met his chest.

"Hate to break up this little lovers' dispute you two have going, but there is an injustice running a muck. I suggest you do something about it, Ms. Walker." Cena had turned to me, making his words crystal clear as he began to stalk off towards the door.

"That's all I really have to say. She's all yours, Dean." He waved as he exited and now the camera was on the two of us.

Jon was still behind the desk and he sat into the chair, his hands going to the back of his head as his legs were put onto the surface in front of him. He looked comfortable. I wanted to throw him off.

"All mine... Hmm, I like the sound of that, don't you?" I rolled my eyes, making sure that he caught a good glimpse.

"Leave from my office."

"D'awwwh, it sounds like kitten is getting hostile." He stood from the rolling chair and began to deliberately walk towards me. I didn't realize that I was backing up until my own met the wall.

His hand met that wall, towering over me with a smirk forming on his lips. "Look, beautiful, you and I don't have to be on a bad foot. We need to start behaving friendly-like or an explosion will begin."

His hand caressed my cheek as I opened my mouth to speak. I was shaking beneath him, suddenly closing my eyes tightly since I was getting stirred up. This was already becoming too much like that dream. "I'm not trying to hurt you, kitten. I just want us to be close." Finally, it tucked under my chin, forcing my eyes open to look into his.

There seemed to be... Reluctance. It was embedded deep within his eyes. Usually, he was sure about everything. Right now, he didn't want to be doing this. I knew him too well.

"Don't push me away, kitten.. I'll just pull harder." He brushed the hair strands from my face as he left from where he stood.

Strolling out, he didn't even look back once. I was still shaking, gulping back from the reality.

"And that's it! We got it. Good job, yet again, Chasity." The cameraman high fived me and I nodded my head, breathing normally after forcing myself. He left through the door and in came back Jon.

I didn't dare look him in the eyes this time, I just simply sat into the chair, almost deprived of breath as my hands raked through my hair that was tied back. He didn't say anything, instead, in silence, he pulled up a steel chair and sat in front of my desk with his hands clasping in his lap. His stare was in full force, trying to gauge my emotions as I went ahead and wrote the lines needed for the actual paperwork. It was the standard stuff, the kind where I gave out job evaluations on how hard everyone was working. As much as I hated him, Jon was always a hard worker. He had received one of the best evaluations next to guys like Cena and guys who never complained like Tyson. We must've been quiet for quite some time because he let out a breath, snapping me from my writing. His stare was on the floor now as his hands rubbed together.

"... How've you been?" Really?

".. Fine. Yourself?" There was no point. I just picked the pen back up and filled out options.

"I've been okay.. A little below average." I could see him nodding from the corner of my eye as I kept them glued to the paper.

"And why's that?" I asked, though I knew the answer. He was probably thinking about this entire thing just as I was.

"You know why.. but yeah. What ya' writing there?" Okay, what the hell was he doing.

I dropped the pen and looked up at him fully, shaking my head as I sucked my upper teeth.

"What's the bullshit small talk for, Jon? I'm not in the goddamn mood for your games." Nonchalantly, he just shrugged. His hand came at the back of his neck as he huffed out.

"I'm not trying to play any games, Chase.. I figured out what decision you've come to, though. It's just written all over your face." He sounded almost disappointed. I wanted to listen to that, but the rational side of me said to tell it to fuck off.

"Oh really? Then what's the decision if you're so fucking smart," I asked with arms crossing.

"You're not going to sign that contract... I saw the way you were reacting to me. Usually it's visible anger. But now, it's... Visible fear." He scratched his head, almost uncomfortable. It couldn't have been the first time that he'd seen it, right?

"... Yeah. Sorry.. I wasn't going to tell you for a reason. Do you not expect me to be scared?"

"I don't want you to be scared of me, though. I'm not mad, Chase... I'm.." He was having an ongoing struggle with his words.

"You're what?" My voice was loud in volume, surprising more me than him. Damn.

"Disappointed..." He stood now, moving to the door. He got as far as grasping the handle before I shocked myself by standing.

"Disappointed? What the fuck do you mean by disappointed?" He didn't move a muscle. Didn't even turn his head towards me.

"I mean that I see how you hate me so much. It's going to be inevitable that a kiss ends up happening. What then? You quit?" I remained quiet, his head turning slightly as I took that in. If four months continued, they'd exploit it to the point of where fans could get every drop. Ships would begin and if I knew WWE creative, I'd end up having a face turn to be with him. Christ.

"Answer me, Chase.." His tone was soft as he began to walk over.

".. Okay... You're right.. I get it, but I still can't fathom a month with you.." He got to me, his hands getting on the table.

"It's just one month. Don't you get it? What do you want, me to bug you for four months to the point of where we'll be all over each other, or do you want one month of solace?" I blinked at him.

"I.. I just don't want you to quit or be fired because of me.. I care..." His hand found mine across the desk, stroking the back of it as his eyes met the grasp.

"I care because I can't carry that burden again.. I just can't.." There was distress in those icy orbs as they met mine. I sighed out loud.

My hands played with my ponytail now. Looking to him, I smiled gently. For the first time ever, I saw him smile back.

The door came open and immediately, we jumped apart straight away.

"Glad we found the two of you. Here's the contract we discussed over the phone." Paul brought it over to the desk as Stephanie walked in after. She was looking particularly powerful tonight..

I went through the three full pages of guidelines, all the stuff that we had in fact been over. They were really thorough since they didn't want to be accused of reading the contract wrong. Any lawyer could use that against them. It wasn't that they didn't trust us, it was standard business.

Jon signed his name on the line seconds after seeing it over, not bothering to really go through and read. He just nodded his head with a tilt before walking out. I knew he didn't want to see whatever decision I'd make.

This entire time, Jon was showing a compassion that really got into my emotions. I couldn't be around him and he comprehended showing that he'd be away from me if that's what I wanted. Even then, if the four months went by, I'd get more of him than I would ever want... But... I trusted him...

I lifted the pen and wrote on the line _Chasity Waller._

As soon as I did so, they nodded their heads, bringing the contract to them. They were all smiles and surprisingly, so was I. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad afterall.

I made quick to get my suitcase that was tossed off to the side and walk out of the office set up. The show was minutes away from being over so they wouldn't miss me at all. I had the case rolling on its wheels as I began to call Debra. It was time to inform her that she could finally go home until the month was up and over. I caught Jon in the parking lot with his duffel bag being put into the trunk of his rental. He had his shirt off, obviously having had a hard time to cool down inside of the arena. When his face met mine as he looked up, I smiled to him and right there, he knew well of what I had done. He took my suitcase and placed it into his trunk.

We both were in the seats of the car now, having not spoken a single word since the arena. All the passing lights were beautiful. The city of Angels was no joke. Debra admired any lights in any city though, so it must've just been a developing habit from the few weeks that we had been traveling together. Parking in the hotel's parking lot, I stepped out to help Jon with the now two bags. I usually packed light since I was always in my own home during the middle of the week, but I'd have to get my stuff soon. Luckily, for now, it was just going to be a simple question to ask Jon at some point. When we reached the hotel room, I placed our bags off in the corner of the room.

To my surprise, there wasn't a single bit of mess within the room. I always imagined him to be incredibly disorganized.

"I'm impressed, Jon.. Nothing's been thrown around. Nice." I was joking, but I heard him scoff. When I turned to him, he didn't looked amused. That smile he once had was in a thin line to aide his impassive stare.

"What's the matter...?" He was nearing me now, coming closely to me. I was awfully confused, when I dared to open my mouth again, his voice cut me off and scared the living hell out of me.

"Shut up."


	6. Chapter 6

**I suppose I should apologize for the cliffhanger I left you all at. Since I have a heart made out of stone, I won't. Instead, I deliver a peace offering in the form of a new chapter. This one and the next from here on out are going to be a bit strenuous as well. Though, I have a feeling you'll enjoy it.**

 **I only own Chasity, (sadly).**

"Excuse me?" I couldn't really say much, caught off guard by his sudden demand.

What had I done wrong on the way here? We rode in complete silence and everything seemed to be well, but for some reason, he was standing in front of me, seconds from snapping. Those icy orbs didn't show any reluctance this time, they showed the epitome of violence and adversity spewing. My legs were moving, I was backing up at the rate that he was taking his steps forward, methodically. He was scaring me, more so than when we were at the arena, but that was because this was real and was no storyline. There were no cameras, though I was praying that there would be. There was no audience, but I was hoping that they'd hop out and tell me that this was some kind of sick joke. Instead, no one came, no one laughed—Jon only pushed his weight against me once my back met the wall to trap me there.

"You heard me correctly. I want you to shut up for once." Both hands rose at the sides of my head in their attachment to the wall. Nothing made sense right now. Not like I wanted it to at least. I felt my blood boiling and my skin was on fire, but I couldn't make my hurt audible.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, Chase? You slapped me across the face, you put forth an attitude, and then you have the audacity to even think that you could quit after I finally have you back to torture? No, this game doesn't end until I fucking say it does." My mind was surging through every thought a minute, trying to piece together what had just been pulled on me.

I trusted him...

"You're just lucky that all that resisting that you keep doing turns me on." Wait...

I could do much in my life, at once, but for some reason, I couldn't multitask between breathing correctly and speaking. I wanted to protest, but my lungs were giving out. The intensity that he was delivering was horrifying and I couldn't shake the feeling away. As a kid, the first ever horror movie that you watch sparks a fear that one could never have, but then it occurs to them at some point that it's not real. I was sure that I had seen a horror movie about Jon now, telling myself at a constant rate that it couldn't be real. He had invaded my nightmares, I thought he was there hiding in the dark, and in my memories was his rugged facial structure. He was shooting bullets left and right by pulling the trigger nonstop and I just had to take everyone to the chest. Never in a million years would I have thought that Jon would've said something to me of that sort.

"Does that surprise you, Chase? You're suddenly not so talkative now, huh? Why don't I tell you about it." His fingertips traced down my arms, getting all the way to my wrists before I pushed them away. That was a bad move since he roughly grabbed my wrists and slammed them pinned above my head.

"Don't piss me off, Chase. It'd be easier for you to listen," he said with his voice growling heavily.

"You're shaking.. Don't worry, I won't hurt you.. not too much at least. You just have to listen to me for now. Can you do that, princess?" His right hand held my wrists down as his left grabbed my chin, pulling my face to look at him. I shut my eyes as tight as I could, wanting everything to be over. "I asked you a fucking question. Answer me."

"Y..yes.." I squeaked it out, too afraid to deny him anything at this point.

"Good girl." He purred his appreciation as his head buried into the crook of my neck. I could feel his inhaling and exhaling since all my senses were severely multiplied by ten.

To fucking hell, I didn't want to listen to a word he said, but at the same time, I had no choice. He was forcing me to do something that my mind was too clouded for, it wasn't worth anything. I was petrified, cringing from the way that he held me, stroking with his left hand. It roamed down my arm and over my abdomen that was thankfully covered by the tight business shirt I was wearing. I wished that the material was thicker however because I could feel his callouse fingers reacting. It was incredibly out of character for me to not voice my dislike, but at the same time, I didn't know what he'd do. Fear finally was too consuming, not allowing me to open my eyes to meet those darkened hues. It must've pissed him off a bit since he dug his nails in one spot to force my eyes open.

I met the storm brewing in his orbs as his tongue swiped across his lips, looking as if he was basking in ideas. "You've been really messing with my head lately, Chase. You've yelled at me, softly talked to me, and even blamed me for shit that I didn't do." Cowering when he touched me shouldn't have made me feel so weak, but I also wanted to push him the hell away.

Wrists pulled from the death grip that held them down as my hands met his chest, pushing him with every ounce of strength I had. To my own morosely lit beam, he only took one step back, smirking from the power that he had in actuality over me. Yes I was angry, anyone in my predicament with a hint of sanity would be fucking angry. Petite hands rose and pushed again, this time, they were captured by his own, forcefully hitting my back to the wall. A yelp of the stinging pain left from my lips, but was quickly cut short by his palm covering my mouth. Another attempt of an escapade would definitely involve a bite that would just piss him off further, but I was getting the hell out of there no matter what. The hand stayed at my mouth while eyes glued to the facial structure hovering above me, clicking his teeth with an almost happiness. My eyebrows drew inwards from the scowl emerging, but that just earned me a raspy chuckle.

"And that's what makes my cock bite into my zipper, kitten. When you try to push me and resist me. Usually, I get exactly what I want when it comes to a woman." His body weight crushed me as he leaned forward, his eyes still dark with anger and something else that I couldn't make out.

He wasn't lying about the erection; there was a hardness pressing into my thigh with the more weight he settled against me. I brought my legs together, pushing them squeezed because of the way he had been speaking. Jon's acknowledgment became audible when he husked out a gruff no and pried them apart with his own powerful thigh. It was too much of a straining feeling, but my body tensed at his very touch, needing to have a reprieve as soon as possible. "But with you, you restrain yourself and act disgusted by my very existence.. That's what makes me want you. No, need you." His growl scared me with the volume it was at, but my cringing was refrained since only half of my face could be seen due to his hand still in place. "Even then, you've been running along in my mind for quite some time, so whatever punishments I have for you will have to wait." A peck hit my forehead whilst his hand finally left from my mouth.

I sighed in relief, but it was too damn soon because both hands were now at the hem of the shirt that I wore. My own tried to push them away, but that did no good since it was pulled immediately from over my head. So vulnerable now, and I was only a third naked, it was still a bad thing with the likes of Jon near. "That shit in your hair, take it out." When I glared at him instead of obliging, he lunged forward with an arm snaking behind my back. He unclasped my hook rather skillfully, but one had to remember that he had probably done this a thousand times. "Now," he menacingly demanded with his face inches away from mine. The closer vicinity had my arms raise with a bashful red filling my cheeks as the bra cups slowly raised with the straps still on. It was a pale pink bra that I knew Jon found disapproval in since he wanted to get it the hell off.

With the impatience, he still waited as I worked the clip out of my hair followed by my hair tie to release the blonde waves down my shoulders. Locks stayed down, but not for his admiring since he yanked off the bra immediately from my body. My palms raised to cover my breasts from him, but he made quick to feel them himself, squeeze and revel at the feel. His attention stared there, thumbs rolling over my nipples as they began to harden from how he was kneading. That seemed to please him, how my body betrayed me and reacted to him as the tint of red became more severe. "Jon.. Stop," I breathed out, suddenly realizing that my throat had become agonizingly dry. My fear was fucking hurting, but it had to be pushed back if I had a chance of getting the hell out of here. My thoughts were broken from as his hands ripped the fabric of my pencil skirt, leaving me one article away from being completely bare.

That's where I snapped, developing and stirring strength to push him off and slap him right into the cheek. Weirdly, he stood stunned as I side stepped him, but that stayed too odd since he caught me around the waist. He was too damn smart knowing I wouldn't run out in just my underwear and shoes. I screamed as loud as my mouth could bring out, but he praised and threw me onto the bed.

"That's it, kitten. Scream for me like that when I'm buried balls deep in you." He took off the leather belt, loop by loop, and then dropped it to the floor. The zipper came down as I held myself up on my elbows, moving back to where my back met the headboard. His pants were soon off with heavy denim hitting the floor, a crawling starting by him as he got onto the mattress towards me.

I gulped back, slowly pulling at the sheets to bury myself underneath them, but it was too late since his body covered mine. My mouth opened to yell at him to get the hell off of me, but yet again he was one step ahead, he kissed me forcefully, tongue plunging in. His hand held my wrists down now, holding them tightly in one place as his tongue fought mine, dominating with ease. I struggled to not kiss him back, but the grip that found my hair urged me to do so, eyes shut so tight that I thought they'd rip from the lids. There was a brutality that he had with his bruising kiss that my lungs were giving out on, it was more selfish than anything. I bit his tongue wishing that'd he pull himself away from me, but that just earned me a husky groan. His teeth came down onto my tongue this time, his mouth swallowing a muffled yelp. It wasn't something that I had ever experienced, all this fight for a dominance that I just kept losing. It wasn't even that, it was more of a struggle to try to get him off.

I was fighting for air through my nostrils, consumed by that, I hadn't even noticed that his hands were off of my wrists and tresses. It wasn't until I heard a ripping sound followed by cool air that he had got rid of my panties. My eyes flew open and I removed my mouth from his, taking short heavy breaths as I shook my head. Attempting to appeal to his thick skull, I gritted out, "Jon, don't fucking do this. I'm still your boss and this is going to get you fired. Get the fuck off of me or—"

His hand tangled in a fist in my hair as he barked, "You're not the boss here, kitten. Not tonight. So tell me Chase, who gives the fucking orders now?"

My pride didn't allow me to speak, instead, my facial expression softened as my hands found his biceps. He had to have some kind of sense of humanity. The gentle touch I gave him at his muscles was followed by an almost pout. It was genuine since I was scared. Terrified. Horrified. Shaking.

"Please, Jon... it's been so long since I've been with another man.." That should've been enough of a hint for him to catch since just eyeing from where I was, he wasn't exactly average. I was even more scared... How the hell is that possible? I was still trying to figure out when he ridded himself of his boxers. Looking up at his rugged features, they sort of softened to match mine. "Chase... I'm sorry then.. Like, you know... This whole situation.." He let out a deep sigh as he looked me in the eye with those icy orbs.

It was a pool of blue that just made me smile. His smile suddenly appeared as well, and we both were at peace. His lips pecked mine again, this time sweetly.

I should've known better.

The thick veiny member squeezed by ramming in between my walls, stretching to cause an immense pain that had me scream out in a whimper. I had only had sex one time and it hurt like hell, but this, the stinging was much worse than the first time. He didn't allow me to adjust to his size as he started his powerful thrusts straight away. The thickness that had stuffed itself was now pulsating, keeping an ungodly pace as I pushed my eyes closed. The pain was slowly fading, but my voice wasn't; it went at a far range to moan out, spew out hesitant 'uhs.

"Fuck, Chase, give."

No words could be formed since I felt as if I'd be torn in two, laying flat on the bed, not wanting to do any work. Even if I was willing, he had no problem with driving in and out, dropping his hands to my hips. He pulled me up when he hit his downstroke, hitting more sensitive spots within me as I cried out.

His tone was drenched in sin, growling as he took and wanted more and more, groaning when I tried to squeeze my thighs together. It hurt even more since he simply just forced himself in and out of that area, finding a way to torture my senses. My nails dug into his biceps in the mess that he was creating me to be as, yelling to where I wanted him to keep going. My body surrendered to him as he wrapped my legs around his waist while my mind was screaming to push him away. If I attempted to stay silent, it wouldn't be possible, not a bit since his dick was forcing noises out of me. His hip bones dug into mine, rotating to stretch me even more, having me writhe and cringe.

"Come on baby, I like when you do that."

Moans came from me and him, pretty sure that we were waking up the entire hotel as we kept at this. I don't think he cared, not like I did anyways.

My orgasm was close, threatening to be released at any moment now. His name left my lips once as I tightened around him, being the only coherent word that I could actually form. That must've satisfied him because he captured my lips. The kiss was as brutal as his thrusts, my eyes opening so they could roll to the back of my head. He didn't slow down, not a bit as my world came crashing. My juices came gushing over his tip, sweat coding my forehead as my nails had scored over his muscles. It was finally over for me. Or, so I thought...

"Don't give out on me now, Chase." He husked it out as my body had began to relax, pulling my hips up yet again with a bone crushing grip.

I thought that if I kept on letting go, he would stop. To my surprise, he just kept on going and going...

* * *

The alarm clock beeped bringing me to my senses as my eyes had slowly opened to meet white ceiling. My mouth parted to release a yawn, but I found that my throat was incredibly dry, a need of water forming. Not much of last night could be remembered correctly, but as I turned my head over to the right side, Jon was gone. Usually, I would've been happy to have Jon away, but that man owed me answers for the ultimate sin that he had committed against me. The night was strenuous on my voice and completely overwhelming to how many times my back arched to its own accord. Standing up from the bed, I felt my legs quiver, giving indication of the number he had really done. It was unfortunate that I felt like collapsing to the floor yet stay stood because I didn't want him to walk in and see me defeated. Hell no, I wouldn't nor couldn't give him that kind of satisfaction.

I had lost count of the true number of times he had made me orgasm forcefully to where I was screaming. Though, I'm sure he kept the number to heart since he gave adulation for each time it happened. He had his climaxes as well, managing to stun me by taking me by a different position. Looking back, I should've shown more reluctance, fought harder as much as I could. I just couldn't beat a man stronger and bigger than me, someone who could do worse if he wanted to. Now, I'd take extremely sore legs anyday over a smack from him that could ever come my way. He never hit me nor do I think he will, but with the act he had pulled, I don't know what to believe. Realization had hit like a ton of bricks the second that he had rammed his dick inside of me.

This was all apart of his sick plan.

He finally had me back on Monday night RAW and took full advantage of the opportunity. When I became vulnerable, he put up an act to manage to get my contract in his complete control. It makes sense that I could fire him if he was out of line and he was looking to change that. Hell started for me the second that I wrote my name in pen on that damn contract. His hatred for me told these stories, but what didn't make sense was his sudden desire to have me out of nowhere. You usually don't fuck someone you hate like that like a wild animal. His normality just had to be on the fritz, it could be the only explanation as to why he was changing in demeanor. The fact of the matter is simple: he just never did care as he lead on.

He was up to something, some kind of plan since he was always up to something. Jon was rough, there was no doubt that he enjoyed doing things his way and only his way. I shouldn't have been so shocked with the way he showed experience in bed... I felt dirty. I drifted to the restroom and looked into the mirror. My hair was a complete and utter mess of tangles.

I looked awful with swollen lips from the way he had forced me to kiss him. I turned on the shower and didn't give it any time to heat up, immediately stepping in. I needed to be clean of him. Of his existence. I hated him. No, I hate him. More than anyone. I couldn't find myself to say it inwards or out loud or anything, but it was hanging there. That sentence about Jon Good. Jon Good? The Jon Good who had forced me to start scrubbing feverishly on my skin. The Jon Good who had tricked me into signing a fucking contract. The Jon Good who had left my legs quivering and shaking. The Jon Good that had currently walked into the hotel room, calling my name...

The Jon Good who had raped me...


	7. Chapter 7

**Again, I should apologize, yet I'm not going to do that. I warned of the graphic content within the story and I'm just going to give you all a headsup that it's going to get worse. I hope you all love it since I enjoy writing it.**

 **As always, I only own Chasity. R &R**

I turned off the water, stepped out, and wrapped one of the white towels around my body as I heard his voice again.

"Chase? You in the bathroom," he had called out in question as I opened the door. I hate him so fucking much.

His eyes met mine, but only for a second since I moved straight to my bag that was off in the corner of the room. Just thirty more days with this man—four weeks—seven hundred twenty hours. In hindsight, that sounded like an awful long time, but might as well begin counting my days of hell now. I didn't know where the hell he had been since Smackdown was to be filmed tonight, maybe the gym? It didn't matter, I wanted him to be gone again rather than watching me. I could see him staring from the corner of my eye as he slowly came over. My turn was quick, raising a hand for him to stop right there in his tracks since I had no desire of dealing with his shit. He stopped, froze even, just quirked an eyebrow as he awaited for me to speak.

"Now listen, Sir. Good, I'm in no mood to face you nor even stomach the fact that you're currently in my vicinity once more. I'm going to make this bluntly clear for you to get it through that thick skull of yours, you've hurt me in the past with those putrid and repulsive insults as well as those heinous actions that have just resulted in me hating you more. You showed me that you could get so angry and because you were so popular with the fans, you were basically untouchable. You knew of my attempts to injure you and suspend you, but it ended up being in your favor as per fucking usual. For some reason, it just always works out perfectly for you, doesn't it? It's a real shame that I don't have that kind of luck, but then again, I would never want to be someone like you.

"You basically forced my hand to leave from RAW, one of my dream jobs, to host a second rate show from home. I was happy and content; days were spent running a taped show while I was eating damn sandwiches for fuck's sake. Things seemed to be going my way for once and then out of the blue, Colby fucks everything up by sending me straight back to the hell that I escaped. Do you know what that's like? What it's like to escape from unspeakable horror and then be drug back like an animal? So why not, go to the damn show, hell, start to show up on the camera and be some kind of actress. Who knows, accomplishments could've been made with the greatest of ease and then you had to start with all of your shit! You make me a better actress? You're a liar! You've always been a liar, why would I listen to you? Why did I listen to you, Jon? Huh? Whatever was going on in my head, I did listen and I can't take that shit back.

"So, you flirt with me. Out of nowhere instead of playing your stupid, dumbass, idiotic games. This was just another game wasn't it? You get some kind of sick pleasure from watching me writhe and hate you? The flirting keeps going and then you drop the entire act once you have a contract to go on. I could get basically fucking sued to the point of bankruptcy, but that goes into your favor again, doesn't it? You never cared and you're a sick human being. This is just to make me mad isn't it? Because you get off to making me mad? You get off to me? Because your rape last night proved that there was never a good intention in your blood. I hate you. Is your dick hard? Are you satisfied with what I just told you? I. Fucking. Hate. You." The pauses in between my words died on my tongue as soon as they found the air. It felt good to let all of that out.

That feeling of relief didn't last long...

"Are you done," he asked with a curving mouth. His arms were crossed against his chest as he cocked his head to one side awaiting my answer. That smirk of his was in full force, displaying his dimples of innocence when he was anything but. I felt like clawing it off for the shit that he just made me spew. How could he be so calm when I yelled at him about all the stuff that had gone on between us? Did it really come off as an amusing sort to him that I hated him with every single fiber in my being? Was this some kind of disgusting entertainment that he found himself enjoying from the very moment I began talking? Formulating questions wasn't going to help me decipher the truth, but they did get me thinking like any question out there should.

Furiously, my own arms crossed against my chest as I nodded my head, sucking onto my upper teeth as I stared daggers. I wanted him to get pissed off, not smile at me like a fucking lunatic. Where was that anger? Where was that undying fury that usually killed me? Where was that nightmare of a man that had a knack for becoming reality? Even then, I knew that I should've chose my words more carefully than what I had in my mind...

"Yes, and so are you. I'm still the boss who thinks that you fuck like a pussy," I said with a smirk of my own. Bad idea... Really really bad idea.

Killing two birds with one stone in that line, attacking his job and his masculine pride, his smirk suddenly fell down to a scowl. I knew it was a mistake when he started to tread for me, a dangerously slow motion happening as he got closer. I backed up, meeting the wall behind. A squeak left my lips as his body pushed into mine, his large hand grabbing my chin into its hold.

"For the last time, you're not the boss here. Give me one more order, Chase, just try me and I swear you'll regret it. I'm the one giving the orders here, understand?" Defiantly, my head shook.

"No." Wrong answer... Really fucking wrong answer.

Jon whipped my towel away from my body with a hand that pried onto it, leaving me completely naked for his eyes to start roaming. As if he didn't see enough last night, he raised my wrists above my head, ideas forming in his mind as he looked at the different areas. His fingers draped over the fair skin, making me draw in a deep inhale, trying to imagine myself somewhere else. Anywhere else would've been fine, that wasn't an understatement at all. The grocery store, jumping out of a plane, willingly making out with Colby—it all sounded like a haven compared to being here touched by Jon Good. His calloused palms pressed into the flat of my stomach, testing if I would tighten it against him or not. From the way that everything was flexing and straining, I did, and I earned a purr from him calling to relax. I didn't want to give him anything at all, I wanted to push him, but I knew I had already pushed too far with the comment earlier.

Even the defiance.

"You suddenly think that you can bark orders at me? Chase, I'm the one making the rules now. You're following. But since you decided to break those said rules, trying to create your own, I have but no choice but to put you into some critical consequences."

Was he some kind of mad man? No one normal did this kind of thing with that easy going voice. As nonchalant as his tone was, it was anything but. He spread my legs apart, raising me off of the floor to wrap them around his waist to carry me to the mattress that was near. I tried to push him off as he jumped onto the bed, holding me down. It didn't take much of his strength to flip me onto my stomach. I heard him fumbling with his belt buckle, indicating that he was removing it. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was doing, and all I could do was shut my eyes and brace myself for impact. I had the opportunity to run, but he was faster and I was naked.. There was no choice but to take it.

He adjusted me to where he wanted; my elbows created their own dents in the bed as my back arched to its own soreness. He ran the leather down my shoulder all the way to my ass that he pulled to stick up towards him, gripping the flesh there. I was fine with him just gripping and grabbing, but I was trembling that he still hadn't swung shit.

I must've thought too soon.

The belt cracked over my posterior, making me grip the sheets in front of me as I cried out, burying my face into them as I tried to calm myself from crying. Again, he swung it with power over both my cheeks, the stinging feel making me yelp out in pain even with the muffled feel. He must've wanted to hear it right and loud since his hand came into my drying hair, pulling my face away from being there. The leather hit me again, my back arching deeply as I blinked away the tears forming from the brutal force. It hurt so much, his strength being absolutely too much to handle if he even dared do it again. I didn't want that, I wanted him to fill me again if it meant pleasure and pain rather than just soaring raging pain. The belt swung more, this time, creating a pattern that kept on going, not missing a single beat in tempo. My nails dug into the mattress beneath me as I screamed, shaking my head, allowing tears to stream.

"I'm sorry," I exclaimed, trying to squirm away, but he had a hold of my hair. Flipping over would just piss him off further. I didn't want to piss him off at all, I just wanted him to be calm, keep his hands to himself, and we could talk like civilized normal people.

He on the other hand had other plans. The leather hit the floor with its own recognizable thud as his hands cupped both my cheeks in their gripping, curling feel. It was soothing to feel his palms instead of that terrible stinging, I even pushed back against him, shutting my eyes. "Oh, so now you want to behave?" I could hear his eyebrow raising as well as his smirk forming, but I kept my mouth shut.

"You know, you scream the same way when I'm buried inside you." His voice was daring, but also retreating as his fingertips moved over the places that he hit me at. I knew for sure that the belt had left red marks. It was too much of a pain to not. His dry chuckle broke me from my thoughts, flipping me over onto my back. I looked up at him through my long lashes as I attempted to breathe normally. My face was probably stained with the tears that had streamed, making him roll his eyes. Don't cry around him? Okay, now I knew. "Come on, Chase.. You need to lighten up, kitten. Are you going to do what I ask?"

Yes... "Y..yes..." I brought out, legitimately scared that he'd do it again.

"Good. Now, take off my pants." Obliging, I slowly sat up from where he was on his knees having had been hovering over me through that time. He had taken off his socks and shoes during the time that I was anticipating, making me want to yell out at his sneaky antics. I brought the button out, dragging the zipper down with the sound eliciting as the slowness showed. I don't think he appreciated such a deliberate pace since his hand met my hair, tugging it lightly.

My fists brought the heavy denim down, revealing the tent pitched in his plaid boxer shorts. I moved to his waistband, but his hands stopped mine, grabbing me at the wrists as he pushed me down to meet the bed. "A little eager now, aren't we? Didn't tell you to take those off, Chase."

I felt the pain sting when my ass touched the mattress beneath, biting my lip at the way it pressed against me. I couldn't give him any more satisfaction of crying out, I just wouldn't honestly. Jon slid his boxers off, burying himself into me again as he did the night before, a whimper drawing out from my lips. After all the times he had pushed me to go at it, his engorged cock still managed to make me dig my nails into his muscles. I had nothing else to do except take his animalistic style as he began his pace fast and full of absolute pressure. If I ever mentioned this to anyone, I'd describe him as complete raw intensity that would make your knees give out if you were standing. Sadly, rape was not spoken in that way to the authorities and I hated this man more than anything in the entire world. My lips pushed together, refusing to moan out for him in anyway, but he drove in deeply, wanting a reaction.

He had gotten it since whatever muffled squeaks I was making turned into reluctant screams. His hardened member was making me fall apart if I was being completely honest, but no one could ever know. My legs roamed to his body to kick him off, but it was no use since he uplifted them to his shoulders, making sure to hit a spot within me at a certain angle. He was a brutal man, showing it with his utter dominance in the way he spread me and fucked me. Although I kept making it out to be indescribable, that's all it really was, making me think why he had to be the enemy. Imagine someone that you hate, someone that pisses you off beyond measure and then that someone manipulates you and fucks like a God. Not only that, he was surging, pulsating in his own length as he took what he wanted without zero mercy in his arsenal. As much as you don't want to, as much as it kills you inside, you moan and scream for him for every single pound.

My first orgasm ripped through me forcefully as my walls convulsed around him, moaning out at a high pitch with my back arching. My ass sank into the mattress underneath, ache soaring but subsiding due to the much stronger amount of force of pleasure that was overtaking every single crevice in my body. I had experienced him before, countless times last night, but I still wasn't prepared for the intensity that he offered towards me. I couldn't anticipate how hard I came for him, my entire entity crashing like a train wreck as he kept moving. "Oh God, darling, more." He husked it out, dropping one sore leg to my own relief as he moved.

His pelvis was driving me absolutely insane, not giving me a chance to adjust from the sensitivity that was aching at my clit. His thrusts kept hitting, his mouth finding my neck to attack as I cooed out trying to keep my mouth closed. I know that wouldn't get me anything except more pain, but I just couldn't do anything else except that. It was the only ounce of power and control that I had, making it the only thing that I found myself pushing for. With the skyrocketing levels, I just couldn't help the shriek of his name accidentally leaving from my lips.

I made a wrong move. He slowed his pace, pulling out of me completely just when I thought I was going to fall over the edge another time. Breathing heavily, my hands found my face as I whined, words spilling out too quickly before I could stop them. "Jon.. What the fuck?" It was so lost and foreign, but I heard him purr and I knew that it wasn't over.

He placed kisses down my stomach as he spoke in between them, too chaste for this situation. It was too out of character for him to stop like that given how many times he made me cum forcefully with the night sky. The loss should've brought me a great relief, but instead, I wanted more, frustrated to be brought to the peak, but unable to fall off it. All the struggling was making me want to kick and scream. My heart was pounding furiously to my chest as I wanted to pull him up to finish the job, but the haze of need was just too much. I yelled out his name for fuck's sake last night too and he just went harder, loving the way I called for him. This time, he stopped completely and I couldn't handle that need to burst while he didn't let me. My senses had been put on fire and that was his doing. I was lost in heat, deciding on whether or not I was mad at him for fucking me or stopping. I had a problem choosing.

"Don't worry, kitten. I'm just showing you that there's not only punishments, there's rewards..." That's all I heard before his head lowered to my soaking aching slit. Feeling his tongue touch at me raised me off the bed and onto my elbows, screaming his name out in approval.


	8. Chapter 8

Paranoid...

Have you ever had a moment where things were moving slowly? Where they were flying around, but you seemed to be frozen in time? Things pass by, but you try to make them move faster, too afraid of what would happen if they moved any slower. It was a scary sort that resulted in nightmares, but nothing one couldn't handle... But for how much longer?

We were at a house show, one of those that comes out of nowhere on a Thursday. These kind of shows usually threw me off guard because of all the things that were seemingly at stake. You had to keep the crowd happy, so all the faces would basically take the victories. It was an odd rule, but since this wouldn't be airing on television, it was okay to keep them satisfied. There was also those minor things done that wouldn't affect storylines. Apparently tonight, I was supposed to get kissed on the cheek by Jon that I'd punish him for. Simple stuff that was going to be done on Friday and Saturday too, acts moving easily.

It was like a continuous play that had nothing to do nor would be mentioned in the final product of a movie. Which was basically for both RAW and Smackdown! Tuesday and Wednesday hadn't been good nights. There was light dark circles under my eyes because of the lack of sleep that had formed. You could guess whose doing that was. The only break I got was when we left to tape Smackdown!, and even then, he got me in an empty locker room. This man's sex drive was literally like a puppy in heat. Would've amazed me if there wasn't the whole hatred thing.

There had been more use of his belt when I tried to deny him and more use of his tongue when I screamed for him, it was an ongoing flurry. He approved of one thing and disapproved of another, loving when I fought back against him. In simple terms, he was sick. He was sick and sadistic and I was currently walking on wobbly legs in heels. It wasn't a good combination by all means. His hands palmed over my breasts in thought, pushing me into the glass of the shower as he pushed his pelvis against me. Hardened nipples told him of my enjoyment, also the open mouth of my orgasmic expression when he twisted my head to meet his lips. When his tongue met mine, it tasted different every time, but there was a certain spark in that every time. There was just so much need when his mouth captured mine, and for some reason, that need never ran out for him. He was always ready to go again, always ready to have me again after the countless times he had already done it. My head dropped to the desk, the image of his tongue draping over my sex becoming too much as I groaned out a little louder than I had intentions for. I couldn't help it, I was a mess drowning in my own mistake. The door flew open, breaking me from my thoughts when Nick came in. Another man to hate.

"You okay? You look like you haven't slept in days." Thanks Captain Obvious. He pulled up a steel chair and sat in front of me, leaning on his forearms on the desk with a look of worry. It was odd of him to basically emerge from out of the shadows, but at the same time, I didn't mind someone else's company. Jon's probably would've made me beg for mercy, and I hadn't done that yet. I would not, could not, allow Jon to break me.

"Thanks for the observation," I replied rather coldly. I was still mad at him, but what do you say to a guy that fumed over not getting a damn date?

"Sorry.. Didn't mean to upset you there.. We haven't spoken to each other in quite some time." I could see the distress in his eyes. He probably was trying to figure out how the hell he could talk to me. There was just too much facial expression in the way he was letting out his words.

Curse him, now I felt bad. A twinge of guilt. I sighed out, a hand pushing my bangs to the side as I shook my head. "You're right.. I didn't know exactly what to say when I found out the entire men's locker room talks about me.." Must've hurt his ego because I could see his muscles slightly tense. That tan of his really was gorgeous.

"You don't have to say anything... It was sort of a dick move for me to pull outta nowhere.." His hand found his blonde hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. This probably wasn't easy for him. "I shouldn't have done that to you. I really do care about you in all honesty."

I didn't trust anyone at the moment, but hearing that made me smile automatically. I still had my doubts however. "It really was a stupid thing of you to do.. It really hurt.." There wasn't any point in lying about it. It was something that I found tiring.

"I know, I know.. I want to apologize. I shouldn't have blown up like that.. It was mainly because I got jealous of Jon." What was there to be jealous of? Anyone with a brain could see I couldn't stand the motherfucker.

"But I don't like Jon. I truly hate him and you didn't even give me a chance to explain that to you. You made up your mind automatically.." Truth lied in those words.

"Now I know that... I heard about what happened you know.. The whole contract thing. How has living with him been so far?" ... It's been hell..

I couldn't say anything though.. There was no loop in the contract and I had agreed to stay with him no matter what the circumstances.. "It's been okay.. He's been.. Surprising.." At least that wasn't a lie.

"Surprising? So, he hasn't been an absolute mess like I was hoping?" There's that cute jealousy again.

"Something like that..."

"Ah... Look, Chasity, although we hit a rough patch.. I do want to make it up to you. Really really badly too... I know that you frown upon a relationship because of work, but I'm willing to show you it wouldn't be so bad to have a simple date.. Just think about it, okay? Give me a call.." I couldn't protest to whatever he said since he was out the door in a flash. It was so odd for him to come out of basically nowhere asking for such a thing, but at the same time, I was relieved he still cared. It showed me that he didn't want just sex as I had perceived before. He actually wanted a relationship, but was frustrated with the way that I kept on denying him. I would've been frustrated too, especially if someone else came into the mix looking to have an upper hand. Contemplation ensued, thoughts turning on a dime since I refused to believe that someone as great as Nick could be jealous of a monster like Jon. It had taken everything in my willpower to not break out in tears, telling him about all the shit that I had endured for the passed couple of days. The only problem was that I had gotten myself into it because of my judgment and trust.

This was my fault.

Trusting someone like Jon shouldn't have even been a thought for me to follow. In fact, it was the worst move that I could've ever made. He was beyond evil. He only acted like he cared about me so he could get me into his clutches and rape me. He did it and still had a long time to keep doing it, even though I was praying for time to move faster. Why was what I kept asking myself however. He had been repulsed by me not too long ago, but suddenly he had an interest? It didn't make a lick of sense for him to call me loose and absolute scum and then force me into bed with him, praising my "tightness". I couldn't pinpoint what he was trying to do. Unless this was still part of his game.. That made more sense. He lived to piss me off and yelling at me wasn't going to get that reaction. So what else could he possibly try? He could try something completely out of my comfort zone and push me over the edge. The more I fought back, the more he got what he wanted. He was getting entertained and his own sex slave at the same time. This was his moment of opportunity and I was playing into his hands like an absolute mess. He craved for me to fight him because it sparked something in him. It sparked some kind of amusement that I knew was psychotic.

The more I yelled at him, the harder he pushed back. I figured him out. He was just trying to find a way to get rid of his boredom since it had been six months since he actually had an outlet. He had nothing else better to do except torment me, it just had to be it. Jon Good was simply a monster that I couldn't control no matter how many times I threatened his job. He just knew that I wouldn't fire him. He knew that I wouldn't suspend him. He was too smart for me. If this was going to happen, I was going to fight him for as long as I could. I just couldn't do nothing. Laying there was too maddening while trying to fight back gave me more of a chance. There just had to be something that I could get under his skin with... But what the hell could that be?

Jon had left the arena early because of the commotion going about. He was simply tired and needed a break. Since I didn't want to ride back with him, I told him to go ahead back to the hotel room. I was heading back now, thoughts of Nick surging through my currently clouded mind. I did want to give the man a date, but at the same time, during this month, that didn't seem like a plausible thing. That is, unless, I could appeal to a certain man's decency. Yeah right.

A fist came up and knocked onto the door with the familiar room number as I held my breath. My shoulders were tense and I was standing as still as ever. The door slowly came open, Jon in just a pair of basketball shorts emerging. He must've been asleep.. He said nothing as I trudged back to the bed, falling onto it face down. It was odd that he was out of it right now for basically no reason. The job got strenuous, but it was weird that he suddenly was extremely tired. What gives?

"You alright there...?" I didn't care. Why I asked made zero sense to me. As long as I was going to get some sleep without any roughness, that was something to be ecstatic about.

"Do I look alright to you?" He hissed it out. I honestly imagined him adding "duh" since it was so obvious that he wasn't. Just don't push.. Don't even try to be nice.

"Well, fucking sorry." Hands raised in surrender as I pulled the clip out of my hair. "I'll take the couch tonight."

There was no clue given that he'd move from how exhausted he was. Even then, he surprised me when he groggily stood up from where he was laying. "No... I'll take the couch.. You take the bed." He rubbed the back of his neck as he moved towards the couch. I stopped him with my hands at his chest. "You were there first. Just take the fucking bed."

He rolled his eyes at my tone, gripping my hands tightly by the wrists. Suddenly all those little flashes of him pinning me that way flooded my mind and I started to breathe heavily. He noticed this, slowly bringing his hands away as he quirked an eyebrow. "No. If you're that repulsed by me, I'm taking the couch. Sleep on the bed tonight. Enjoy your break."

I knew for sure that he was referring to a break from the glorified sex, but at the same time, I was relieved. Not wanting to test him, I maneuvered to sit onto the bed, bringing the clip that held my hair up out. Tresses dropped over my shoulders, a wave of relief washing through since I had it there for the longest time. It felt good to just let it down. Jon sank down to the couch, not bothering with a cover as he sighed out in what seemed like disappointment. It seemed like he was a little more upset instead of tired. What was up with him? Didn't matter to me, however. Whatever was wrong was his business and I felt glad that he was upset. I still needed however his Intel if I was going to go out soon.

"Jon... Do you believe in relationships...?" His orbs looked towards me as his eyebrows creased inwards. The question was outta nowhere, but I expected him to at least answer.

".. Haven't exactly had one in years," something crossed his eyes as he had replied. Maybe guilt?

"And why not?" I gently asked him, looking for an answer to come.

"Just have always been in the sleep with every chick phase.." He shrugged his shoulders. At least he was honest. This man probably slept with hundreds of woman already.

"So, you're casting out dating altogether..? There isn't even a girl that could capture your attention at all?" He shook his head. Sort of. He looked almost conflicted as he slowly sat up.

"Maybe.. I don't know. I haven't exactly found a girl like that, Chase." Something was spurring in his mind. It was as if I could see the gears turning.

"Is it just sex for you.." Sex was always a concept I didn't like talking about. It made me uncomfortable to voice out what I thought.

He blinked at me, wondering why I was even asking these things since a hand nervously raked through his hair. He was nervous? "I don't know... Maybe? Maybe not... I just.. Maybe there can be more.. Chase, it's not something I think about.. But.. I guess I do sort of believe in relationships." He was having a hard time with this, I knew it. Anyone could see that from a mile away.

"I believe in them.. Look, we're supposed to be with one another for a little less than a month now. I'm just letting you know that I am going to indeed have a date." His head tilted at that, confusion washing over his face.

"You.. You are?" I nodded my head, shrugging off the working jacket that I had.

"I am. Is that fine with you?" The corner of his lips curved for a half smile and he nodded his head back. And I actually thought that he was indecent.. Well, he did rape me for the passed two days. He was still a monster, but right now, he was an understanding monster.

"It is... Completely fine by me." His hands clasped out in front of him as I smiled, grabbing my phone.

"Great! I'm happy." He let out a chuckle as he laid onto the couch again, that smile on his face still there. I don't know why he looked happy for me too, but I think that I simply appealed to his humanity.

He believed that I could be happy with a relationship just as he could. It gave me the perfect reassurance to tell Nick. I found Nick's messages, a string of them that I hadn't touched upon in a while.

 _Pick me up early tomorrow :)_


	9. Chapter 9

Morning came a lot faster than I would've anticipated. I thought that'd I'd have trouble sleeping, tossing and turning from my own excitement, but that didn't happen. I dozed off easily, realizing just how tired I actually was. I had Jon to blame for that who was currently lightly snoring on the couch. If anything, he was more exhausted than I was. He actually looked peaceful.

I felt this urge to grab a pillow over his face.

Then again, he didn't disagree for me to go on a damn date. I had some credit for decency points to give him.

It was easy to pick an outfit for Nick. It was simply an early morning first date, so it couldn't have been anything extravagant. I slipped into a red tank top and a pair of skinny jeans. After bringing my purse onto my shoulder and tying my hair up, my phone buzzed. It was time.

Slipping on sneakers, I went over to where Jon was sleeping and placed a kiss on his cheek. He had put me through hell the passed few days and he could go to jail for the shit he did.. But that contract was tight.. Still, I felt good that he was even allowing this from our brief conversation that had transpired in the night. He only stirred slightly and I couldn't help but smile at the small twitch of his facial structure. He was vulnerable to me, but I wouldn't try to ruin or piss him off in anyway. Slowly, I caressed his cheek, planting another kiss onto his nose this time. The corners of his lips curved for that smile in his sleep. A soft breathing of, "Chase," was all I heard as he turned away. Aww, he was dreaming of me... Disturbing... Right? Of course it was...

I left from being at his side and walked out of the room, Nick being there with a single red rose as he stood in the hall. Shutting the door gently not to wake Jon, I studied Nick, seeing how I had been right to go casual. He was wearing a collared striped shirt with a pair of cargo shorts, his blonde hair tied in its small bun. Note, this man was still cute even when he wasn't trying to be.

The rose was taken from his grasp as we walked side by side to the elevator, a chat immediately starting up when the button was pressed. "Are you ready for an amazing day?"

It was Friday after all. Hearing that they were to be out the entire day was pleasing to her ears. Nothing was planned, so today was going to be a simple Nick and Chasity day. What could ruin it? "I am, I am. Care to tell me what's on the agenda?"

We strolled into the elevator, his index finger doing quick to bring us down to the lobby. "Breakfast of course, long walk in the park, picnic for lunch, visit to the boardwalk, get in a few killer rides, and finally dinner after some ice cream. That goes a bit backwards on the last part, but who gives a damn really." I couldn't help but let out a giggle as he hooked my arm with his, bringing me closer to him. The doors dinged open, we were walking out, but my eyes were still on his as his were on mine. It was that kind of stare that lead me to believe that we both had a phenomenal connection. For some reason, I didn't want to lunge myself into his arms. That'd be too much in my own eyes, but I did like him. With all the things we were to get done today, it showed well that time would have to be on his side. I didn't exactly take him to be a planner, but it was always great to have some shock when associating yourself with someone. Now, now, one would argue that the same case could go for Jon, but I wouldn't even consider the matter. Jon shocked me on a daily basis, but that didn't mean I wanted to be with him. The kind of shock he put me through was one that lead into hell.

I stepped into Nick's navy blue rental, placing on a seatbelt as he shut the door for me. He joined me in moments in the driver's seat across from me, bringing the keys to the ignition. Where he planned on taking me to breakfast, I had not a single clue, but I was hoping it was something with waffles at the very least. I was sick of the usual pancake and toast offers they had at the hotel. Jon didn't force me to eat that, but he didn't let me out of his sight much either with the way he had his gnawing sex drive. He was an animal when it came to the sort, scaring me and exciting me the very same. His raping ass however belonged behind bars. The little power I had in this kind of situation was bugging the hell out of me. There it went again.

My thoughts kept going back to Jon while I had this amazing man beside me. Jon was the last man that I could think of at this point. I needed to sit back and relax with my head against the seat. Give Nick the satisfaction since he had been asking for so long just for this moment. I didn't deny him for a reason.

I wanted this.

A part of me wanted him actually. Why else could I have finally gave into it? Sure he talked of me in a locker room to men in their underwear, but this guy, he apologized. He wouldn't do it again, he just couldn't. I truly was going to enjoy being with him today if it was the last thing I did in a fit of sanity. Something that I had been losing for quite some time already.

* * *

Lapping at the cool ice cream gathered in my cone, I walked side by side with Nick down the hall. Breakfast, that had started alright. We had gotten bacon and eggs. I was disappointed to find that there was no waffles, but I didn't voice that to him since he seemed to be enjoying himself early into the date already. The walk and picnic had birds picking at my hair, but things turned up at the boardwalk. We went on rides and went ahead and got ice cream after the dinner. The entire time was great and Nick was a funny guy. Making me laugh when I needed it, even when I looked to be a bit bored.

Not once did Jon cross my mind. Until now of course.

"I had a great time, Nick." I softly leaned against the door as I looked at him through my lashes. Being five foot three wasn't the greatest, but it did give me a different outlook so to speak.

"Me too. Chasity, I'd like to do this again sometime if you'd be willing." His smile grew as his hands nervously found his pockets.

I stepped forward, kissing his cheek gently as I whispered into his ear. "I'd love that." He started to move down the hall again, managing a few glances my way before he disappeared at a corner. He was getting to that elevator obviously, but I wouldn't stop him. I couldn't exactly invite him in with the other man behind the closed door.

Slipping my key card into the slot, the door came open, a little bit too inviting without any creaks sounding. Swaying as I entered, I closed it gently, that smile from my lips not leaving just yet. Oh come on, I was on cloud nine. It was the perfect date with its own little flaws and I couldn't help but feel incredibly giddy. It was one of those things that would surprise people, but at the same time, they'd know that happiness can come at the oddest times. For some, it came in food or a career. For me, it came in my career in the WWE and my current closeness with Nick. Where would it go from here...? I had a few things in mind, but I didn't want to push him for stuff that he didn't want himself. I wanted to be an item and if he wanted the same thing, I wasn't one to deny him of not one thing. It wasn't love, it was too early for that, but I was drawn to him. Like a moth to a light almost. This wasn't Cheyenne Walker and Dolph Ziggler that we were speaking of. No, this was Chasity Waller and Nick Nemeth. Two separate people that others could be rooting for to no longer just be two separate people... Jesus, I'm so lame. I hadn't even realized that I was still facing the door that I closed. What a train wreck.

Slowly, I turned around, but I let out a gasp of surprise when the back of my shoulders hit the wood roughly, palms holding them there. My eyelids shut immediately, not wanting to look up at the man who was in front of me. Towering over me at this very second actually. His head dipped down to my neck, hot breath hitting there as I instilled myself against the door, turning in the other direction. The move gave him full access to the crook of my neck, but I didn't want to end up opening my eyes to look at him. His lips placed a gentle kiss there, too gentle for his nature as he softly began to speak. "Look at me, kitten." My head shook immediately, hands dropping to his shoulders as he raised me off the floor.

Now I had no choice. My eyes found his icy orbs, they were piercing at this point. "Don't make me do this the hard way."

His animosity triggered a deep growl from his chest as he stared at my eyes. We were face to face, and I could tell something was getting to him. Something other than lust. It was actual rage... That he was holding, however. I was awaiting for the volcano to erupt.

"Where were you..." Really? His question struck me oddly enough, making me raise an eyebrow as I stated into his orbs of rage. I was jubilant just a second ago and he had to ruin it with his bullshit.

"On a date. Do you not remember the conversation that we had last night?" My tone was chiding, but the right way to go. He did give me hope last night and here he was demanding answers.

"Fuck." That's all he let out as he took a step back, his hands coming off of me. I slumped down to the floor with barely a thud, sitting to my knees at his sudden attitude.

He ventured further into the room, running a hand over the curls that draped over his eyes. His hand pushed them away as he slowly paced back and forth. There was a struggle going on inside of him that I had no ides of. It was overwhelming him, I could tell with the way his hands were trembling. They went from being on his hips to being in his hair to being out in the open. He was having a difficult time with his own demons that for some reason he couldn't release. Watching him as he slowly fell apart was making me cringe, making me want to stand up and bring my arms around my worst nightmare. I wanted to comfort him, but then again, I wanted to hit him with a baseball bat made of metal. Hurt him to the point of no return no matter hoe weak he made me out to be. For I was pretty weak in comparison, but the right weapon would bring us to a certain balance. I shifted off of my knees, standing up ever so deliberately.

"Jon...?" I let out softly, still moving to stand fully erect.

"Why did you fucking leave on a fucking date?!" He yelled at the top of his lungs, scaring the living hell out of me as I fell down to my ass, blinking as I took that in. He was facing me now, his anger showing fully at this point.

I didn't let my fear get the best of me. I opted to speak, "You said—"

"What did I fucking say?! Enlighten me." The way he cut me off made my voice catch in my throat.

It was definitely one of the scariest things I had ever been witness of. "That I could go on a date—"

"Fucking hell!" His fist hit at the wall, my legs bending at the knees as I brought them in towards my chest protectively. I was down right terrified. I checked at the wall where his fist was still at, but it luckily only had a dent. If he had went a bit harder, it would've sunk into it.

"Why are you so angry..." I didn't realize that I sounded so soft and fragile until after I said it. His glare made me hit my back to the door behind.

He was... Conflicted. "Because... Because I just... I thought that... Well... Chase.." He kept bringing his hands through his hair as he fumbled with his answer. Having had enough of his bipolar antics, I stood now, shaking my head.

"Because fucking what?!" Jon didn't take kindly to that one bit. He was in front of me with his intimidating size in a split second.

"Because I just changed my fucking mind, okay?" That wasn't the real reason and anyone with a brain could see that.

Before I could retaliate, his lips crashed onto mine, my back hitting the door behind yet again. I whimpered at the way he was becoming rough, dropping his hands to push the red tank over my head with a departure of our lips. He was becoming needy, nipping and giving me a bruising pressure against my mouth, making me want to scream bloody murder. He needed this though, needed to be as rough as he wanted because of all the anger that he had inside of his head. I didn't fight back, not much at least, but I didn't kiss him back either, allowing him his ravaging sort. The button of my jeans was popped, one arm draping around the small of my back to remove the denim off of my legs. I had kicked off my sneakers just in time, not wanting to frustrate him with the amount of barriers getting in his way to have me bare. I'd rather have a happy pleased Jon than an angry fuming Jon... Someone would have to understand my overwhelming predicament. If they lived through it. Dying at the end of this wasn't a thought that hadn't crossed my mind. Actually, as depressing as it is, it had crossed my mind a multitude of times.

He was in just a pair of basketball shorts anyway. He must've slept most of the day before he woke up to find me gone. I didn't understand what triggered in his mind for him to be so angry about something he gave me permission for, but I wasn't going to question someone who was insane.

My underwear was ripped off as my bra was unclasped skillfully, making me try to dig my nails into his shoulders. The fact that Jon enjoyed that made me tingle just from the anticipation. He dropped and stepped out his shorts, kicking them off to the side. I didn't think that he would have gone without boxers since the other days I had seen him wear them, but it was probably the tiredness he felt. That or he was prepared for this to happen.. Either way, I only laid my eyes on his erect cock for two seconds before he rammed into my canal.

My head hit the door as I threw it back, moaning out loudly at the force. None of that mattered, he was pounding into me with no abandon, my lower back hitting at the wood. Pure adrenaline surged throughout my body, making me just feel his brutal thrusts. His massive size repeatedly ramming in and out was already starting to make me uncurl. I never understood anything this man did. Seconds before he was in fury and then he was fucking me like a beast. Nothing ever made sense in this volatile relationship. My walls were stretching in the most reactive way, accommodating his size in the worst of ways. My poor womanhood was taking absolutely beautiful torture, the pain mixed with pleasure giving shrieks from my throat.

I couldn't restrain or muffle them in anyway. He was gonna fuck himself to death inside of me and I knew it. Why, how, I couldn't inhale or exhale. The passed few days, he gave the same intensity, but something about his seething anger was making him be more brutal. His rough pounding had my eyes shut tightly as my hands found my own hair. He held me against the wall well, there was no way that he could end up slipping out. This wasn't even a point of holding on for dear life, I didn't have that choice of holding on. I just had the choice of letting go, letting him take absolute control despite my best efforts.

"Jon! Fuck, Jon... Oh fucking God, Jon!" I couldn't form words correctly, they came out in loud shrieks, loud screams that I knew for sure was going to do a number on my voice in the morning.

"That's right, Chase. Fucking take my cock." He growled in my ear, not slowing his pace down nor missing a single beat in tempo as he nibbled onto my earlobe. My world crashed, releasing a wave to coat his cock.

"Look, babe. Watch my glistening dick fuck you." He forced me to look, but I was still so sensitive. He was taking advantage of that fact.

I looked down, seeing his sheened cock repeatedly disappear and reappear from being buried.

And before I knew it, I came for him again.

And again...

And again.


	10. Chapter 10

**So I'm taking requests for one shots now on Deanee. PM me if you want me to write something for that. Also, I'm writing one shots on tumblr so you can make requests for those too. Just thought I'd inform. Enjoy!**

"Jooooooon!"

Rivulets would be an understatement. Thick ropes of cum splashed onto my abdomen and onto my breasts, spurt after spurt warm against my skin as my chest rose and fell erratically. Jon had been at it with me for quite some time, making sure to claim me as his in different areas of the hotel room. We had been against the door, on top of the floor, and here we were laying on the bed in the aftermath. Keeping track of how many times my body had lost it incredibly hard was an impossible task. The anger he had in his pounding and thrusts hadn't subsided as the night had went on. Somehow, the man became even more rough, surprising me when he came into me forcefully, yet was ready to go again ten minutes later. We ended up, as said before, on the floor, giving me that burning sensation from the friction of being rubbed onto the carpet. Complaining, however, that wasn't going to happen because of the fear that had pooled deep in my stomach. That and I actually did complain, whine even that the floor was hurting me. He growled into my ear and bit down on my boob, toying around with both of them with his mouth because of my voiced comment. It sure as hell threw me off, but I decided to keep my mouth shut and let him continue on. I didn't want to keep on pushing and watch him get the belt out.

When he finally exploded inside of me from where we were, on the mattress we went. His stamina was surely an admirable sort, but at the same time, it was going to end up leaving me black and blue. His thrusts were powerful, raw, and intense, my legs quivering each time. This wasn't something that was going to end with nice and relaxing results. No, this was going to end with soreness cascading my entire body.

Here we were, me on my back having came for the infinite time as he pulled out and let it out onto my body. Rushes of his hot seed spilled out, his hand stroking himself as it continued. When the dam had released all of its contents, on top of me he had collapsed, huffing and puffing just as hard as me. Sweat appeared on both of our bodies, shining as we attempted to calm ourselves at least a little bit down. Yet, there was no way in hell that either of us would be fine in a minute's notice. Maybe him since he was a goddamn animal, but it was a lot harder for me.

His sticky cum was between us, on mostly his lower torso and slightly his chest. Untangling himself from me, he kissed the top of my head and pulled me up with him. In that instant, I felt my legs quivering already suffering in the aftershocks. They really wouldn't get used to this kind of tingling feel.

We walked, with his support, to the bathroom. He rested me onto the counter where the bridge between the two sinks was. Jon then drifted off to the shower, turning it on. As soon as I heard the water hitting the tub, relief filled my cheeks, needing a desperate clean from how he had manhandled and milked every drop from the both of us. This was one for the record books and as much as it pained me to admit it, the sex was fucking fantastic. There was no intention of a pun there...

What good is sex, however, when you loathe the other? It's a complete waste of time and by the looks of it, I still had a long way to go for this month to be over. It probably had been hours since he had gotten his hands on me...

Wait a minute, he slept all day! I was doomed to be put through his energy until he was tired again... Dear God...

His reappearance occurred when he came back in front of me, with his hands drifting up and down my thighs. Feeling his calloused palms over the current sore exterior made me gulp back, even with the drought that was currently heating my throat. There seemed to be something that was in those pools of blue... The problem we had is that I thought I could read him like a book, but then he did another thing. One second he cared about me and then another second he scared the living hell out of me. Literally, I couldn't trust him. I spent all my time trying to figure someone out who didn't even know what the hell he was doing himself. It was plain and simple: Jon Good was a goddamn psycho. He was batshit crazy and had this sick game planned with himself. I was just the pawn that was suffering. He liked to make me squirm. As soon as I didn't get mad at him anymore, he took it to the next level by flirting. His little messages that he dropped got under my skin and when he saw that, he took my moment of vulnerability and got me in his clutches. I know the reason for his rape. It's because it pisses me off. It also feels good for him. It's the best way to go, take every bit of innocence from me as I fall apart in every way possible. He's a selfish person who could keep on getting an easy piece of ass from me while also making me want to pull my hair out of my head. The epitome of my nightmares, it was this man, somehow having had felt them and made them come true. He gets a sick pleasure from arguing and making other people angry. I should've known because of his constant rebellion towards the authority. Even then, after all the bullshit, I still saw something that I just had to be missing. Why did he act so crazy and feed off my anger?

It was too much to try and make sense of...

With his hands drifting to the undersides of my sore thighs, Jon wrapped my legs around his waist without a word and we stepped into the shower. He basically carried me in there actually, setting me down onto my feet with his strong gaze still making eye contact. There was still hunger that could not be fed, this intensity in his usually pale orbs that turned to electric on a dime. The stare he was giving me made it even harder to stand on my currently wobbly legs. At least I had some independence however. It was a small amount, but it was something.

The falling water soaked at my hair, letting the dried sweat finally have a way to get out. His sweaty curls did the same as mine, sticking to his forehead as he still was taking me in. I felt so awkward as he stared at my figure, making me turn around towards where the showerhead pointed at us. I had my own little insecurities, but why couldn't this man ever get enough of me? He already had me multiple times inside of the bedroom, what more did he want from me?

I could still feel his eyes, roaming my backside as my own closed, tilting my head towards the water. That's where I felt his hands come into the mix, touching my posterior with the wetness. He pulled me into his chest by my hips, a low growl ripping through and vibrating against my back and part of my neck. Again, I wasn't the tallest and it always worked in his benefit rather than my own. I felt his hardness already touching me, my shuddering clearly pleasing him as I felt his lips at my neck and shoulder. The flesh he touched at was already growing red from the blood rushing there instantaneously. Unconsciously, my head tilted off to the side, breathing already quickening to how he slowly rocked us back and forth. I was melting beneath him as I felt the wetness already start to pool, heated in between my thighs. I whimpered when his teeth nipped at my shoulder.

No, I couldn't fucking don't do this.

I whirled around as best as I could without falling to the bath floor, gulping as I tried to keep myself in composure. "Jon, what the fuck? Haven't you had enough?! You've already seen all of it!"

My face scrunched up as I tried to keep myself from becoming a complete mess, but tears fell anyways. Luckily, they wouldn't be noticeable considering the water.

That's where he surprised me, pushing my back to meet the shower wall as he looked down at me. My closing eyes opened to look him in the eye, already knowing that he wanted me to do that. He didn't have to ask of it. There was conflict behind that stubble and currently impassive thin line on his lips.

"I know and... Don't you fucking get it? You're addicting... Chase, I can't have enough of you.. Kitten, this pussy is all mine.. You're the only one that can get me off..." He sighed defeated as he raised me off the floor, his hands wrapping my legs around him. "I... Okay, fuck, I can't get off with anyone else.. The closest I can get is imagining you.. Your fire and your defiance, I wasn't lying when I told you that it gets my dick hard.. Those reluctant screams you give me... Fuck, they drive me crazy.. It's the only time I can let go.. Release myself.."

Hearing his confession made things a lot more clear. He could only climax, and climax pretty fucking hard, when I was giving him a fight. That's what he wanted... So this sick guilty pleasure of his, it could only be satisfied by someone who hated his guts. This couldn't be a quick fuck then..

"But why me... You told me that I was a slut and that I was dirty and... You made my self esteem shit..." Just throwing those insults back out was making me hurt in the chest.

I felt the tears well, but they wouldn't fall out. I wouldn't let them. "Forget what I fucking said. It's shit now... You're a knock out and how you don't see that is beyond me. You have long blonde hair and curves.. Your breasts are full, not too big nor too small, but the right size that draws me in... That ass of yours... Chase, it's fucking unbelievable. Now stop belittling yourself because it's bullshit. You're fucking gorgeous and you need to accept that now."

Hearing all that come from him of all people made me blink in confusion. There was never a second that he could make me think otherwise of him. I was going insane just by being around him, good lord. Instead of the penetration that I was expecting, he washed the both of us up, getting soap deeply into the brush provided. It wasn't as gentle as I had expected either, but it was a nice surprise. I know for sure that he enjoyed watching his cum mix with the water as it poured off of me with the way he licked his lips. I also know for sure that he was keeping himself tamed for my own kind of benefit. He was still hard as a rock, don't get me wrong, but I felt bad.. I had my own compassion that got in the damn way. When we finished up the shower, we stepped out and he wrapped a towel around me. He didn't bother with one himself as he sighed going into the room. I must've appealed to his good nature.. It was odd seeing him behave suddenly so civilized. Yet, he hadn't got off... Fucking hell I hate myself.

I stepped out to see him putting on a pair of boxers, laying down onto the bed thereafter. I went ahead and checked my phone... It was three in the morning for Christ's sake. I had gotten in two hours before midnight... This was ridiculous.. Yet, that fact still didn't stop me. I maneuvered to where Jon was laying, standing in front of him with the towel still wrapped around me.

His bewildered look made my cheeks feel hot, but I still dropped the towel suddenly. He blinked, obviously a bit dumbfounded about the situation. I was coaxing myself further, crawling up the bed to where I was in between his legs.

"Chase... You don't have to—"

"Shut up and enjoy." I hadn't cut him off like that since I feared his belt, but I had a feeling he wouldn't go that far this time. The erection within his boxers was definitely noticeable. The bulge within wasn't of normal height and he knew it. Hell, it had been stuffed into my little body numerous times.

My hands gripped him at the waistband, pulling down the material to where his proud cock sprang out. He shifted to his forearms, looking down at me with shock overtaking his facial features. My eyes gleamed at the size of him before me, taking a moment to appreciate before I took him into my small hands, roaming with light touches of my fingertips. He didn't do the gentle stuff, I could tell he was having a hard time restraining himself.

With the obvious tensing of his legs, one hand wrapped around him as my lips came over his tip, swirling my tongue against him. My eyes flicked up to watch him and he had let out a deep breath, eyes closing as he let his head drop to the pillow beneath. Just the reaction I wanted. Making this man cum was going to be harder than anything else. Oral sex, I had done it enough with the man I had been with before. Sadly, he prematurely blew his load after about five minutes.

I dipped my tongue into the slit of his dick, quite desperate to taste his precum. I don't know why, but having just a bit made me moan around him. I felt my teeth lightly scrape and vibrate to around him at the move, his own grunt coming through. Immediately, I sucked him slowly, moving my head back and forth as my fingers stroked the length that wasn't in my mouth. The hand that was idle fell to his thigh for support, the actions continuing a bit faster when I heard his grunts start to form groans. As I had expected, it was definitely harder to stir something inside of him.

Upping the game, my head began bobbing, taking him deeper into my mouth with those suction and swirling actions being done. A loud groan left from his mouth and immediately I knew that I had him. I could hear his breathing already start to pick up as my hand moved to play with his balls, a certain pressure starting up as I had done so.

"Fuck, Chase..." A heavy exhale came from his parting lips, his hands dropping down to my hair to tangle into. It was still drying, but I welcomed it fully, moaning around him when he gave tugs. They weren't violent, but they kept with how his body was reacting.

His hips began to rock against my mouth and I had to brace myself, knowing that he was going to take over now. Thank God that I didn't have a gag reflex.

His pumping hips into my mouth was the oddest form of euphoria that I could ever feel. I hadn't even noticed how I had changed positions in situating myself. I had gone from lying on my stomach, pleasuring this man made of all power, to on my knees, hovering so I could take his dick further. Jon's muscular legs had my nails digging into them as he pushed what he could into my mouth, half of his thick member not making it in. It just wasn't a task that would be easy and any woman in my position would find that. Again, I focused on his balls, keeping rhythm with his thrusting pace as he fucked my mouth. It was then I felt his balls tighten, giving me notice that he was close.

I should've realized that when his thickness was swelling. We hadn't exactly gone into this for a short amount of time. His stamina was definitely something that needed to be knocked down a few notches. It wasn't fair.

"Chase.. I'm gonna cum..." It was lost in the midst of his own rasp filled moans. Instead of answering back, I just kept on deep throating, taking note of how his hips didn't stop nor miss a beat.

He exploded with a loud groan spilling from his throat, his hips unconsciously moving gently as his hot seed filled my mouth. The contents that had rested in his engorged cock seeped over my lips, making me swallow down his heady flavor. It was actually a taste that I hadn't expected. When you hate someone, their cum shouldn't taste that good. I lapped up the rest, my own lips being licked after as well. I enjoyed his taste, savoring and making sure that I had gotten it all.

Back up his body I crawled, seeing the thin layer of sweat formed across his chest and abdomen. His hair was drying too, but it still had that factor. The heavy breathing that was coming from him made me feel an odd sense of pride. The smile formed and my own formed as well. It was highly too nonchalant considering that I had just sucked his thick veiny member. His knuckles brushed against my flushed cheeks, making me shudder as I slowly clung to his body. It was out of character for me, but I had gotten that urge to make him feel better after our short moment in the shower. We were volatile.. This had to stop.

I was broken out of my slow lull to sleep on top of him when my phone rang at the side. An audible groan left from me and we both moved away from one another. Jon slipped from the bed and went to the bathroom. He was probably going to clean himself up. Or take a leak. Either way, he was out of the room as I sunk under the sheets and answered the phone.

"Hello...?" That came out awfully tired... More like a goddamn croak if I was being honest.

"Hey, Chasity.. I'm sorry if I woke you.. Or Jon, well, I don't give a damn about Jon, but I had some trouble sleeping..." I didn't expect Nick's voice to be on the other side. It completely blindsided me. He was the last person I was thinking about. Oh, who was I kidding, Jon was the only person I was thinking of just moments ago.

"It's okay... I haven't exactly been able to sleep any either.." It wasn't a lie...

"Had a feeling. You sound like you haven't drank water in days. I advise you to do so right now." Cute. I couldn't hide the smile that was forming onto my lips. I stood from the bed, already feeling my legs aching. I let out a barely audible whimper as I moved over to get a bottled water from the mini fridge.

I made another noise getting back to the bed, and this time, he did hear it. "Uh.. You okay? Did you hit yourself?"

"Yeah.. It's just dark you know. Hard to see around here." Lie.

"Oh, I get it. So, did I wake Jon or not?" He questioned.

"He went to the bathroom so yes." I shrugged. I knew he couldn't see it, but I did it anyway.

"And he didn't turn the light on for you? What an ass." If he only knew...

I nervously laughed taking a sip of my water. That really did help. "He's got his own stuff going I guess. Anyways, why couldn't you sleep?"

Eluding the subject was the correct way to go curiosity seeping at the question just asked. "Oh, right, because I've been thinking you know. How we had a great date and all and I just couldn't pinpoint where we would be standing... So, technically later on since it is four in the morning, I want to take you out again.."

I had to stop myself aweing out loud at his confession. Another lie was falling out before I could stop it. "I was having my own thoughts too... About how this could go further and.. I know what you mean, Nick. So.. A date... Later on today.."

I heard a creaking noise come from the bathroom. Not thinking much of it, I closed my eyes. I didn't mind having one more date with him two days in a row.

"So, what do ya say?"

"God.. Another date for later on—" The phone was ripped away from my grasp, Nick being hung up on with the click of a button.

"Jon, what the hell?!" He dropped the phone to the bed as he held his hands up in surrender. We were both still naked so this was going to be an awkward argument.

"I was talking to Nick—"

"Give me a chance." It was abrupt and his face was stern. I blinked, bewilderment filling my mind immediately.

"What..." It was the oddest request for him to give me. Out of nowhere too... Or... Maybe he had been eavesdropping.

The phone began to ring and when I reached for it, he took my hands in his. "Chase, forget the call for a second.. I want you to give me a chance.. To take you on a date.."

I could hear the hesitation in his voice. Though, he was definitely serious. "You... You want to take me on a date."

"Yes. Tomorrow. Or later.. What the fuck ever, you know what I mean." It was still early and the sun hadn't rose yet.

"I.. I don't know, Jon.. I just.." It was weird and not right. His question had completely threw me off. Slowly, I gulped as he squeezed my hands.

"Please... Give me one chance. I'll take you on a proper date and we'll have a good time for once.. I don't want you to hate me.." The sincereness his voice was actually shocking me. Again, the phone rang. This time, he let me pick it up and answer. I didn't know what to think about this...

My mind was doing flips, a thousand a minute. I answered, raising it to my ear. Jon's head slumped forward as he sighed deeply, laying down to the bed on his back.

"Chasity, what happened?"

"Oh, I accidentally hung up and I guess the both of us calling wouldn't work.." That made sense! Yay.

"That's fine then. So, you were saying."

"Oh yeah.. Um.. A date for later on.." I glanced at Jon who was situating himself in the sheets. Fuck.

"I'm sorry, Nick. I have plans. Maybe some other time." Jon's head snapped up, looking at me with his own blinking of disbelief.

"That's fine. I'll hold you to it. Good night, Chasity." He was taking it rather well. I said goodnight and we hung up. I looked to Jon who was still staring at me. I fell back to the bed, turning away from him. Was I going to regret this? Hell yes, maybe that was. But there was just something about sir. Good that I cared about for some odd reason. I knew he didn't care much about me, but after all the shit he put me through, he wanted an actual intimate time with me. He even asked rather than dragging me out.. Kindness can kill you and they didn't say that just to sound repetitive. They said it for a damn reason and now I was suffering for that very reason. I settled against him, us spooning at this point as he brought an arm around me.

"You have your answer."


	11. Chapter 11

The greatest thing I've come to know about Jon was his unpredictability. We managed to actually catch a few hours of sleep, it wasn't much, but it would sure as hell leave me to be replenished for the day. Whether his sex drive was hitting me full on or not, being on the road meant a lot more move and less sleeping. However, that wasn't the surprising thing. I awoke to breakfast already laid out on the table. The question of whether or not he cooked it quickly vanished in my mind when he sheepishly told me that room service hated him for ordering at eight in the morning. They shouldn't have been so odd towards him considering that they should've been up at this time nonetheless. They should've, not me, but I went ahead and sat across from him, happy to see waffles upon my plate as he had french toast. This little date of ours was already going well and it had to do with my favorite goddamn food to have in the morning.

Pouring the small glass that was filled to the top with syrup, it went over the three stacked up waffles as my eyes looked up over at Jon who was digging in like he hadn't eaten in days. Technically, he hadn't eaten in days... Pushing the image of Jon's head in between my legs, I used my fork to cut up my waffles, stunned by the only sound resonating to be the metal clinking against glass plates. After a couple of minutes of the two of us just eating, I looked up at him, caught with those usually pale blues to be a darker seafoam than usual.

Either he had been staring at me for a while, or I just got him when he had began, that would have meant that we looked up in unison. He cleared his throat, his rasp voice coming out when I realized he had finished. Damn, he really was hungry. And... We were still naked. Well I was. I swore I saw boxers when he sat down. "I don't really plan on telling you the agenda for today, but I hope you aren't afraid of heights."

An eyebrow raised with his confession, choosing to ignore it since I knew for sure that I wasn't going to get an answer as to why he'd say that. I didn't mind heights anyway, they were a thing of beauty if anything.

"Is that the only hint that I'm getting for what we're going to get ourselves into?" I asked as gently as possible, taking a sip at the glass of milk provided. I got this sudden urge to wrap my arms around my breasts, noticing his eyes having trouble on staying on mine.

"It's the only one I intend to give. What fun is it knowing that you're going to walk into something bad?" I could see his intentions now.

His way of thinking was an odd sort. If he even was thinking that was. If he told me every detail that we were going to face in the day, I could've hated something and that would ruin it. Might as well hit me with surprises from left to right without giving much away. The philosophy worked, to a certain extent. Today could either end in flames or it could end well. My heart was currently set on neither of those options, bouncing back and forth in the possibilities. In all seriousness, I was rather afraid of what the day would amount to. There was doubt in my mind for Jon that he'd somehow increase my disdain for him if that was even possible.

People could say differently all they wanted, I still hated him. Just was too damn sympathetic to turn him down when he was being kind. His mood usually changed on a dime. I had to recall that he allowed me to go on a date with Nick and then go on this rampage of things like I was forbade to. It was a ridiculous sort to have believed him. Instead, I should've stayed and turned Nick down. Or, I should've just turned Jon down and gone with Nick anyways. There was too much going on in my mind at once and I just needed to get myself dressed rather than stress myself over it.

When breakfast was done and over with, Jon took his clothes and threw them on. He usually was a casual dresser no matter what the event, but this time he wore a button up shirt with a collar that just really accentuated his muscles, sleeves rolled up his forearms. I had only really gotten on a bra and panties when he had walked out, not exactly knowing what to wear. Considering that he was a bit above casual, I had this urge just to outdo him. I grabbed my suitcase and drug it across the room into the bathroom. Emerging whenever finished, I wore a short white skirt, and a droopy dress shirt that hung off of my right shoulder. I had to go and take off the straps of my bra for it to work, but that didn't matter much.

My lips were glossed to the best of my abilities as I kept makeup light. Hair was done to where it hung in loose curls down my back, having been in there a full thirty minutes. For a second I thought that it wouldn't be worth it, but as Jon was looking me over, I immediately thought otherwise. He stared at me like... Like I was something else entirely. I had to enjoy the attention that I got from him even after he had seen me naked countless times before. Slipping on a pair of flats, I went ahead and stepped closer towards him, allowing him a better view. He took full advantage of that, hands finding mine, fingers interlacing. I gulped at the contact, used to his bruising kind of touch at all times.

"How do I look..." I asked timidly.

His eyes hit mine, tone completely serious. "... You look gorgeous."

* * *

"These are good." Roasted cinnamon coated pecans... Who would've thought how awesome these taste? Jon had a hunch, buying a bag for the both of us to try.

After we had our breakfast at the hotel, we went to this building that allowed loud rock music even in the morning. I found it to be odd, but when we entered, I realized that these were bands that were actually enjoyable. We stayed for hours actually per my request, not wanting the music to end from how much fun I was having. I don't care how much he dares to deny it for interviews, Jon loves to dance as goofily as I do.

The next stop he gave little to no information about, but when I saw the assorted sweets, it was obvious that we were getting some treat. The thing was, I didn't like just getting some regular thing in which I've already tried. It's good to stick to what you know, but I did feel a lot more bold with him. You see, when you hang around with Jon, trying everything new is what you push for. Why? He just has the level of keeping you guessing, so why not try his intensity. After refusal of chocolate covered crickets, I wasn't that out of it, we decided on the pecans, actually enjoying them. I really did like them and so did Jon, us both having some trouble with keeping our hands away from the bag. When it was finished, I threw the scrap away into the garbage, ready for whatever he had planned next. He didn't fail yet again, driving us to a secluded area where we could get a good sight of the city. While I made myself comfortable in front of the car, on the floor with a blanket he provided, he set up glasses and brought out this basket.

Before I could realize what was inside of the basket, he opened it, ending my imagination from its journey. A wine bottle was pulled out, the top being popped off in a fluid motion because of his strong hands. Champagne would've been messy.

"I'm not much of a wine guy if I'm being honest..." I looked up at him, his eyes under the shade of his hat still bursting with a certain glowing blue. With the illuminated sort, I couldn't help but stare at them a little longer as he poured the wine.

"I'm more into the easy going bitter beer. This kind of thing is too... Erm..." The word was on the tip of his tongue, but I knew it was also on mine.

"Formal...?" Jon's eyes finally flickered up, his head nodding as he leaned over to sit next to me. I suppose it was harder for him to admit without thinking that I looked at him as a drunk. In my eyes, I still saw him as kind of a drunk, but then again, he was making all kinds of feelings develop. If you would've told me about a month earlier that all of this would've happened, I would've laughed and said that there was no way in hell I was letting him ever touch me. Except a contract sealed my fate and it hadn't even been longer than a damn week.

The heights thing finally made sense as I looked over the entire city. The sun was already in preparation to go down and we were going to view it. There was much thought put into this considering the little time he had to put all of this together.

"You didn't really have to get wine. I'm fine with just having a cold beer too." I didn't want to make him feel different about the choice in drink. I didn't really want to change him from what he was actually used to.

"I know.. I wanted to. I just, I wanted to have an actual date with you considering the hell I put you through in the last few days, Chase." This was probably going to be stuff that I took to the grave with me, but at least it was some kind of apology. I always did want to be covered up more, but he made that different... I was having wine with someone I considered the enemy not too long ago. Nothing about this situation made sense. He still was the enemy, how could I really forgive him for the things he did. The things he pulled on me?

How on earth were you supposed to forgive someone who took advantage of you? Why even agree to having a date with them after they took you in more ways than one without your consent being put forward? Come to think of it, why not go to the proper authorities and get me the hell out of this contract because this kind of thing wasn't at all what I signed up for. This man was a loon... A very dreamy loon was smiling across from me, those half lidded eyes blinking gently.

He'd slept a lot, the tiredness having had filled him a long time ago and just the thought of him trying to regain energy was honestly horrifying. He did a lot of things that scared me, yet there was something completely different in the way he reached for my hand, interlacing his fingers with mine as his attention was directed to the sun finally going down.

Jon was a lot of things... But I never expected him to be romantic. I followed his gaze, in utter awe of the sight of something so beautiful. It was unexplainable how the sun gleamed and burned our eyes during the day, but could look so dim as we said goodbye to it. It'd return in the morning to greet us to the point of where we couldn't look at it, but it would still be there... I think that Jon is a lot like the sun. Hard to think of contact with because you just might get burned and lose something essential to living... But then when you least expect it, it becomes something breath taking and just completely shocks you.

Good grief.

"You know... When I was younger, I used to watch the sun a lot. Then I watched the stars... Our television sorta got stolen one night and uh.. I didn't really have much to do.." The silence that had been created had been broken by Jon's rasp, actually calm as he sighed.

"Wrestling was something that I studied at a constant rate, but this just finally gave me alone time.. Able to watch something amazing instead of hearing my mother in the living room..." His grip on my hand tightened involuntarily, showing me that he was reliving his memories. A deep sigh left from his lips as his hand drifted away from mine, burying into the mess of curls on his head.

He was so torn and I couldn't help but feel sorry. Slowly, my hand shakily found his wrist, afraid that he'd snap. Instead, those blue eyes glinted as they met mine, the tension releasing as he relaxed. Away from his face came the hand from my own doing, intertwining our fingers once again as I gave a small smile to reassure everything was okay.

"I'm sorry about that... You can't think about it right now, though. Really, it's the past and you need to focus on me... Okay?" He had been close to breaking right in front of me and there was conflict in those orbs. It was killing me softly, but slowly, he nodded his head, coming through as his thumb drifted over the back of my hand.

His past was clearly one of utter heartache, but I didn't want him to start lashing out after such an amazing day. We stood from the blanket, him folding it up and dusting it off as I went to sit down into the car. I hummed gently, tapping the dash as I watched him move to the trunk. The sad thing was that tonight was going to be over for us. There was a certain yearning however that didn't want it to be over.

Ugh, what a mess Jonathan Good had turned me into in the shortest of time frames. As he stepped back into the car, I had already been situating my bra.

Bad move. Really really bad move.

I saw his bottom lip get tucked under his upper and lower teeth, his hand moving to lock the car's doors. This was normal, but with the stare he gave, it became quickly abnormal.

"Jon... What are you doing?" I saw the crease in his eyebrows before he shook his head and unlocked the doors. A breath of relief left from my lips as he stepped out of the car, probably to situate himself was tearing into me.

He stepped back into the car in the backseat, surprising me as those blue eyes found mine in the mirror. For a second, I thought he wanted me to drive, but his arm reached for the button yet again, doors being locked. Before I could even realize what he was doing, he pulled me into the backseat with him with a certain ease. I gulped as I was under him in a matter of seconds, trying to push him off as he pressed his mouth against my neck.

"Jon, seriously, get off of me.. This isn't how a date ends.." I heard a grunt come from his chest as he turned me around onto my stomach, hand smacking my skirt clad ass. I yelped out at the force, arching my back deeply. He leaned against me, his large body covering mine as he huskily whispered into my ear.

"I need you, Chase.. Fuck... I can't stop.. I need you..." These could almost come off as desperate calls, but I didn't want to budge. Again, I was on my back, his lips feverishly attacking mine in their assault. I moaned as I felt his fingers already slipping beneath my skirt to drape over my underwear's center.

When he finally put his lips away from mine, I breathed heavily, my chest heaving as I felt his fingers push aside my panties to plunge into my canal. I yelped out in a feminine cry, blinking away tears from the sudden intrusion.

His voice was in my ear again as his fingers made pulsating movements, the car being filled by my heavy breathing and my moans. They were working expertly, curling and outstretching against certain spots of sensitivity. "Tell me you love me, Chase." His request was one I couldn't even think to give homage to. I tried to block him out, tried to fight against the pleasure as I pushed. He only pushed back harder, his fingers leaving from me to his lips. The taste turned him on, I just knew it since he brought a searing kiss onto my mouth. My body had betrayed me, growing drenched for him as he slowly scooted back and kissed up my thighs. He held them with his strength so I couldn't squirm away.

His tongue pushed past my underwear, teeth grabbing it to get it out of his way. The hot breath I felt against my womanhood made me close my eyes, trying to push up to his mouth. The pool kept forming in my stomach, trying to calm the heat. He made one single long lick up my clit, the flat of his tongue used fully.

"Tell me you love me." There was a sternness in his voice that scared the living hell out of me. My eyes looked at his darkening blues, his tongue repeating the action. Terrified, I stayed silent, teeth biting down onto the flesh of my thigh. Jesus...

I felt his right hand leave from my thigh, the sound of his belt buckle shaking me in trembling. Again, his tongue ran over my clit.

"Fucking tell me now, Chase. I need you. Say you need me. Say you love me." He ground it out, his tone scaring the living hell out of me.

He climbed back up, growling as he pushed his jean covered erection against me. "Say it." This time he yelled, a yelp leaving from my lips as he gave a single grind of his hips. "I love you.." He finally smirked in satisfaction, clothed finally coming off as he needily nipped at my earlobe.

"Good girl. I promise I'll be gentle, love." That was the last thing he said before I was screaming for release.


	12. Chapter 12

One could say that things should've gotten better after the first actual date that Jon and I partook on. I was immensely wrong to make that assumption, realizing that wasn't possible as soon as he forced me to tell him that I loved in the car. It didn't stop there. Everything became more rough while his attitude became so possessive of me. It's been just a week and I'm both mentally and physically tired from trying to keep up with Jon.

How exactly did he become possessive? We were in this delusional relationship of his. He called me his and only his while I heard him on the phone talking with Joe about how we were perfect together. It scared the living hell out of me, but I still tried to fight back. I fought back with lame excuses, however. "Headaches" didn't stop this man from taking what he wanted. No, he just claimed that a night with him would take the pain away. It just seemed like he kept bringing even more pain with each night.

The date that ended in the car signified that he couldn't at all be gentle. He may have promised me, probably even tried, but he completely ravaged me just as the past few days. It was becoming beyond my own control, but no matter what, I wouldn't surrender myself completely. A part of me was still fighting, recalling it was just a month and we were already almost at about two weeks. Soon enough, I'd be free. I just had to keep on fighting.

Until then, trusting Jon was going to get me absolutely nowhere. I couldn't do it again. It just resulted in me hurting. There was no trying to fix or be with him either. If he wanted to make this imaginary relationship between us, so be it. For all I knew in my mind, I was still single, avoiding every call and message from Nick since I was afraid of what Jon would end up doing. Jesus, I was becoming a wreck. Well, I am becoming a wreck. And it was only Saturday at a house show. Fuck.

Turning the corner of the hallway, I couldn't help but hear two familiar voices. Now, I know it's wrong to eavesdrop, but you would've done the same if you recognized these particular voices.

Once upon a time, the Shield dominated everything in sight. Absolutely anyone and everyone in their way with zero mercy being shown. The night that it imploded, sir Seth Rollins disbanded the three. When Rollins disbanded them, fame had got to his head. I've already explained how Colby and Jon were mortal enemies, but I didn't really elaborate on an equally important individual.

Joe is my favorite Shield member for the reason that I hate the other two with every fiber in my being. However, he too has had his fair share of problems with Colby. They've argued and Joe was close to losing his temper altogether one time. I recall he was about to punch Colby in the face, but Jon was the peace maker, telling him that it wasn't worth getting suspended for. Besides, Joe was on this run to the top. It wouldn't help him nor benefit him at all.

There's bad blood between Joe and Colby...

You could only imagine how shocked I was to hear their voices in the most nonchalant manner having a conversation.

"You think Jon's doing the right thing," Joe asked, his hand taking a swig of his water bottle.

"I don't know. He's always been a bit out of it, but this is something else." Colby had replied, his hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. This was odd..

"I can only imagine how Chasity is going though all this. Poor girl is probably scared out of her mind." I took a single peek, seeing Joe shake his head as he sighed. Colby was the one to laugh, a hand pushing his hair back.

"She's getting what she deserves for all the stuff she did. Remember that. We've been told of it and we've witnessed it too." What... Joe gave him a look, one that meant he was annoyed. Or distressed..

"I can't help but still feel guilty considering the circumstances. Don't you feel guilty at all? Not even a little bit?" Colby shook his head now. Scoffing at Joe's question. He then looked both ways, making sure no one was watching which caused me to duck back a bit.

He then sighed and surprisingly... He nodded. "I do feel guilty, but I can't go back on this now. Just stick with you doing you and I'll continue to do my own thing. If we stick to what we will, everything will be fine and we don't have to have guilty consciences."

What the fuck.

That thought must've been said out loud because the two started to turn around. "Who's there?" Colby asked, his irritating yell returning.

I left immediately, not wanting to be caught by two people who were literally just talking about Jon and I. Nothing was making sense...

First of all, they were acting rather coolly for two people that hate each other. Secondly, what were they guilty about and what exactly did I do? What was I deserving? What did they feel guilty about? They knew something that I didn't... For all I knew, Jon knew about this while I was the one who didn't.

All work out in the end... What the hell are they referring to? I should've charged from the corner and went to them right then and there demanding all these answers... But none of it made sense to me. I couldn't go and ask for these questions to be answered since they could easily give me anything but sincere confessions or apologies.

Okay...

No one in this world could be trusted. Absolutely no one. Whatever Joe and Colby were talking about.. Whatever they both knew and I didn't, it had to be pushed aside. I had to get through this problem first.

I had to get through my Jon Good problem first...


	13. Chapter 13

Since the brief eavesdropping of Joe and Colby's conversation, it had only been four days, already marking it as Wednesday. Technically, it had been two weeks and two days. After the live RAW show, it came down to the taping for Smackdown which of course went onto the day off. With what we've been doing, Jon was very close minded about leaving anywhere else besides another hotel. However.. Now we were in Las Vegas. This was a lot different now.. In Las Vegas, there was Jon's home that just made him even more terrifying to be around. Anyone would've thought the same, but I guess he was getting sick of going through different hotel room after different hotel room.

We all have a home that we all want to eventually visit. I was just hoping that for this month entirely he was going to avoid this home no matter what occurred. Lugging my bag into the house, I took more examinations of my own as he went ahead and ventured off to the room. He had jostled his head for me to follow, but I was still taking in the setting around me. I was half expecting things to be thrown around everywhere, the scent of beer hitting me full on. Except, it was the exact opposite... It felt almost...

Empty.

Getting to Jon's room, his king sized mattress greeted me as he dropped his duffel bag to the side, his suitcase being drug along with it. After I had done the same, before I knew it, his right arm draped around my waist, his hard body pressing into mine as we fell back into the mattress. It sent chills up my spine the way his fingertips draped over my jean clad thigh, the trail becoming longer as he went up and down. This kind of anticipation should've been illegal, but I refrained from reacting, knowing that'd just get me in deeper. Or him deeper if we were being technical.

Inhaling a deep breath, my hand came over his, my face turning just to meet those icy orbs. There was already lust building within them and it was hard for me to speak since everything currently felt like jelly. "Could you give me a tour of your house first?" It was a stupid way of stalling, but to my surprise, Jon stood from the bed, his hand locking with mine to get me up too. "I'd be happy to oblige, Chase."

His tone took that of his natural rasp, leading me out of the room and into the hallways. I had to calm myself down, slowly exhaling the breath that I had been holding.

The house wasn't small, but it wasn't the biggest either. It was actually a lot bigger than my own, which was odd since he was all on his own. The roominess wasn't the only thing to shock me either. There wasn't even any sign of this being much of a bachelor pad. Again, it just felt empty. It was missing decor if I had to come down to one single explanation. Though, there was no pictures, there was no cherished belongings—it was just a house. Nothing would've gave away that this was Jon's house because honestly, no one could've guessed it if he wasn't the one giving the tour.

Allowing myself to come out of my shell, I spoke up while we were in the kitchen. "I didn't expect this... You know, this kind of clean organization."

He tilted his head toward me in confusion before realizing what I meant. Sighing, he ran a hand over his face. "I'm never here to keep anything. Besides, none of it really matters since soon I'll just end up moving to some other place."

That was actually heartbreaking to hear... Here came that sympathy again that usually got me into some kind of unwanted trouble. "Moving to another place? You could easily just stay here."

"It doesn't work like that for me, Chase. It never has and it never will. If you stay one place too long, you get attached and I'm not ready for that.." His head bowed, a hand tracing the back of his neck as he went on. "I like being alone and not staying in one place too long. I can't settle in that way. Even if it is a home, I don't consider it that. It's just a damn house to me."

"So you're just never going to have a home of your own? You're just going to travel back and forth until you feel somewhat content or have ran out of energy to do so?" I raised an eyebrow, trying to keep myself from hugging him since he had the trust die out.

"All homes have something in common.. They're flammable. That means they can be destroyed. Why would you want to become attached to something that will ultimately never be there again?" Jon's facial expression was stern, his head having perked up to look at me in the eye. Jesus.. He really did have a lot of baggage for even thinking that way.

I shifted uncomfortably where I stood, trying to get my head out of my ass and give him a sincere answer. "Because things we love come and go.. Sometimes, things don't last forever.. But in those rare moments, things do last forever. You only get one chance for rarity.. Why not keep trying?" Those eyelids of his draped closed a couple of times underneath the curls that draped over his eyes. I don't think he expected that kind of response from me of all people, but it was out in the open for berating or adulation.

He almost looked distressed as both hands pushed his hair back. I knew this look. He wanted to tell me something for sure. I just didn't want it to slip through my fingers yet again. "I know you're trying to say something... Just tell me."

After nerve racking minutes of silence, he finally spoke. "There's something that I've been keeping from you and... I don't know if I could—"

He was cut off by the sound of a doorbell, both of us a bit startled as we had slightly jumped. Eluding himself from the sentence he hadn't finished off, he went out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Oh for fuck's sake! What was he keeping from me?

I followed in, seeing Joe step into the home after he had greeted Jon. They both sat down into the couch, my eyes blinking at how jovial Jon was all of a sudden. Just a second ago he was confused and possibly becoming angry, but now he was just fine, laughing in his reminiscing with Joe.

Instead of taking the easy way and just dropping the subject, I took a step forward, clearing my throat. They both looked at me, interrupted but not annoyed. "Jon, we were discussing something."

He scratched the back of his head, recalling what we had been talking about with a shake. "Oh that.. I think we can talk about that matter later." And just like that, he was nonchalantly chatting with Joe.

Again, I cleared up my throat.

"No. You'll tell me right now and stop trying to avoid it." My tone had cut through so razor sharp that I thought I would see blood splatter. Joe sat there uncomfortably as he looked at Jon. I had a feeling no one talked to him that way for a reason.

Although it was kind of disrespectful, I didn't give a damn. Jon looked to actually be... Calm. Which was weird.

Slowly, he turned towards Joe. "I apologize, but me and Chase have something we need to discuss really quick." Ha! In satisfaction, I smirked, finally getting at least some kind of order through to him as we walked over to the room.

As soon as the door closed, my back was pushed roughly against it. Before I could yelp, his mouth covered mine, swallowing my noise until I was breathless. In heavy slow breaths, I looked at his intense facial expression.

"I don't like your attitude, but it fucking turns me on. We have company though, so be a good fucking girl for me, okay, babe?" I nodded my head slowly, unable to stop myself from tearing up.

"Now... Say it." He was smirking, awaiting for me to let out that dreaded line that soothed him.

One single thrust of his crotch against my already heated area had me shut my eyes tight, whispering softly in a pitiful defeat. "I love you..."

When he heard what he wanted, he sweetly pecked my lips. "Atta' girl. My one and only." This psychopath..

We both staggered out of the room, his grasp eventually letting go as I sat down to the cushions a bit away from where Joe was. Jon clasped his hands, moving to the kitchen as he announced, "I'll get some drinks for us."

As he disappeared out of the living room, I quickly used the time to wipe away the threatening to fall tears. I had never really cried in front of Jon.. Well I have but none were noticeable moments for him to pick up on. I wasn't starting today.

Joe had noticed this. His throat cleared as he scooted closer to me. Since I had heard him talk with Colby, I had been a bit skeptical on whether or not we were distant friends or just plain old colleagues. "You probably already know this.. But it's best not to cry around him. He doesn't know how to handle it. Also, he doesn't like when you ignore him, so use that how you will."

"And why are you trying to help me?" I should've asked why he was talking about me and Jon with Lopez, but that was really the first question that had popped up into my mind.

"Because honestly.. He's not a normal guy and I don't want you to end up getting on his bad side.. I know what he's capable of. He may be basically my brother, but he can be a fucked up dude." Before we could talk about anything any further, Jon stepped in with three beers.

"I forgot I left them in the ice chest. Had to go to the damn patio in the back just to get them." He handed me and Joe our beers, sitting himself next to me with and arm pulling me against him.

"So.. What'd I miss?" Jon asked as he took a sip of his already opened beer.

"Nothing at all, brother." Joe took a drink of his own too after popping off the cap with a twist. A drink was all he took, Jon running kisses onto my neck as he held me even closer. "Nothing at all." Joe uttered again, winking in my direction, obviously referring to the small exchange of words that we had. I had missed my opportunity to tell him about Colby, but I realized that he knew something else that Jon didn't. And that was Jon himself. Joe may have been chatting while I wasn't around, but there was something that Jon knew too. All of this was becoming a tangled mess that was literally beginning to scare the hell out of me. I was being pushed into confusion with each passing second, with each lie that someone told me that would ultimately just piss me off to no ends. What would a sane person in this situation do besides call the cops? There was so much that needed to be learned and there was so little time to learn of these things. I was becoming a mess trying to decipher all the bad and good things that were hovering right under my nose in irritation. With a twist of my own, I opened the beer bottle, and took a sip. It wasn't at all bothered by Jon who was quickly making me form a knot in my stomach because of his casual kisses and suckling.

Jesus, all these secrets were giving me a headache.


	14. Chapter 14

One final breath left from my lips as well as the final scream, letting go from his mouth suckling against the sensitivity of my womanhood. My vision automatically blurred as my chest heaved up and down, having chalked up another time to the countless orgasms I had given him in the day. Yesterday I was more or less safe by the fact that Joe was around, but now we didn't head back on the road until about seven at night. Until then, I was at Jon's whim, having to put up with whatever he was giving. Some days I was pretty grateful for having my job, but knowing that I had to travel with this bipolar psycho kinda made me hate everything. The world around me was seemingly deteriorating before my very eyes and all I could do was blink every so often waiting for a change. Except, there was no change coming and I was still to be stuck with this man for quite some time. My diagnosis for his grand stages of emotions and moods could only be classified as absolutely fucking crazy.

Heavy breaths seeped from my lips as Jon crawled up my body, his mouth finding mine. I could taste myself on his tongue when he slid it between my lips, finding the strength in me to push him away. I got as far as getting his lips off of me before he did it again, roughly placing his hand under my chin so I wouldn't push him again. I shouldn't have been fighting back, but I was getting sick of being toyed around with so many goddamn times. I wasn't something he could play with whenever he wanted.

"Stop," I managed as I slid from under his body, pulling the sheet along with me to cover my own. I was both mentally and physically exhausted, which was Jon's doing. I didn't bother to look over my shoulder at him when he wrapped both his arms around my waist.

"Someone's in a mood," he rasped out, his pecks hitting along my shoulder. I tensed against him, wanting to stand up and leave from his grasp, but my knees were far too weak. Instead, I kept my silence and ran my hand down my face. He noticed this, opting for more words.

"Okay, Chase. Talk to me, kitten," he coaxed, pushing hair strands from my neck.

I didn't say a word, a turn of my head being done just so I could meet his gaze. My eyebrow raised when he blinked, finding space to stare at once more as if I was thinking. All I could really hear pounding in my head was to push him the hell away and get out while I could.

I heard a grumble emerge from his chest as he moved from behind me. The boxers that had been discarded were uplifted to his hips as he left out of the room without another word. It hit me right then and there that he really didn't like it when I ignored him.

When I had came back to RAW after all that time gone, I gave him a professional act. Now, acting as if he wasn't there, it would surely bug the hell out of him. I had nothing to lose at this point. This was the perfect route to follow.

Standing, I dropped the sheet and let it hang loosely from the bed. I could've just changed back into what I was wearing, but from all that arching and sweating, a shower was what I needed. A towel was grabbed before I moved out of the room, half expecting Jon to pounce again and be forcing me back to bed.

What I was greeted with was the sound of the shower already on, his own mind probably have been working faster than mine. That was odd...

Not wanting to bother his current ongoing shower, I went to the other bathroom and closed the door. I had a feeling he would have rather had me join him, but at the same time, I didn't really want to since I had put him in an irritated mood. I was just as irritated with him anyway.

I don't give a fuck how good at sex you are, I'm tired and I need rest.

That may have been the exact look I was going for since the light bags under my eyes did it justice. My lips curved into a frown as a deep sigh left from my mouth. The shower was turned on, water heating up as I looked in the mirror once more. My hair was a complete mess, wild from the motions that had just occurred. It could've been worse, but that's just the way it was and it was just the way I had to deal with it. My fingers raked into the tangled blonde hair, not wanting much trouble once I got inside of the shower.

There was going to be a lot of trouble, however. I still had quite a bit more time with Jon and the thought made me physically ill. There was no way in hell I could keep going with this, but, the time that I did go through, I'd never get it back. I had already endured so much, so why would I even attempt to protest anything? I could go longer... I needed to go longer. I had absolutely no choice but to go longer. I did wonder if the job was worth it, but come on, I had faced so much already to try and quit now. As much as it killed me, I would just have to suck it up and continue on with whatever rough doings this man had to offer. It scared me how much control he had, but it didn't scare me to know that he was going to be out of my life for good once this month was done. No more rough sex. No more worrying. No more fear.

Absolutely no more Jonathan Good.

* * *

"Do you wanna' make a stop at some restaurant later on the way?" Joe asked, his eyes on the road ahead.

"I don't know. You want to do that, Chase?" Jon looked from the passenger seat, his facial features attempting to be soft.

I just shrugged my shoulders, continuing the silence that I had been abiding since we had left his house. I couldn't see what his eyes were doing under those sunglasses, but I was sure they rolled as he slumped back into his seat. I sat in the back right in the middle, legs crossed over one another as I gently jostled them. We wouldn't be driving for too long, but it was still going to be some trip. Usually, we'd take a plane or such to a location, but the next destination was about six hours away. It was lengthy, but manageable. Joe and Jon could get it done.

"Fuck it, let's just stop at a restaurant anyway," Jon muttered with his teeth probably gritted.

"Alright... You two okay there?" There was amusement in Joe's tone, obviously enjoying the small heat that was between me and Jon. I could've swore he held my gaze in the mirror for a second too long, but I couldn't really put my finger on it.

"We're fine. Chase just wants to be a brat for some reason." Irritation filled his throat, arms crossing his sweater clad chest.

"Cut her some slack. I'm sure she's just tired. Right, Chasity?" Joe replied, looking in the mirror to see my response.

He thought of this situation correctly since I just nodded my head, a small smile forming onto my mouth. Joe chuckled and took one glance at Jon who wasn't smiling at all.

"See? She'll be herself in no time." Joe reassured, one hand on the wheel as he relaxed. Jon, on the other hand, seemed to be close to exploding further if pushed anymore.

I had a feeling that Joe noticed this since he cleared his throat. "Anyways, did you hear that Stuart cursed the bosses out the other day?"

Jon seemed to calm now, turning slightly as he shook his head. "Stephanie and Paul?"

"Nope... Vince and Kevin." Jon made a 'sss' sound as if something was burning as he scratched the back of his head. Kevin Dunn... Dear God.

"Is he a dumbass? He already doesn't get enough time as it is." This time Joe just nodded, clicking his teeth.

"I think he'll be fine. Just was weird to hear in the locker room. It's the latest rumor floating around," Joe said.

"No wonder I didn't know about it," Jon responded rather quietly.

"I know you try not to partake in any of the buzz going around, but I sorta caved in to listening more."

This was something that I couldn't figure out about Jon. He was so out there and so problematic, but he didn't even try to create conflict or ties with any of his coworkers. If the Shield hadn't been made, he probably wouldn't have Joe as a friend. He just went out there and did his job. If he happened to make enemies along the way, they'd get hell, but so be it. He didn't push himself to try to hang out with anyone if he didn't want to.

"I just see no use in it, man. One second they're talking about how many girls they had the night before and then the next they're at each other's throats. It's stupid to try and pay homage to." There was logic behind that answer.

"It's stupid, but it's what backstage is like. You have to remember that not everyone is used to being silent and laid back like you." Yeah. Right. Silent and laid back my ass.

"People always think I'm quiet in the beginning.. Guess they sort of have a rude awakening." Now there was the truth.

"They get introduced to a lunatic?" Joe asked, mocking his name.

I expected Jon to throw a tantrum, but instead, he actually laughed.. Laughed..? "I guess you can say that. It's me. One hundred percent," Jon let out.

Funny how you really couldn't judge a book by its cover. The phrase had so much truth behind it and it made me wonder if there was more underneath Jon's exterior. There was a lot of damage, that much I could see coming, but there also had to be something else. I didn't know what that something else was and I honestly didn't want to find out all at once, but there was something.

Jon and Joe continued their conversation, never really growing bored with one another in the topic changes. The conversing they got done really showed me that Jon was incredibly easy going and easy to talk to. He was also really smart, which stunned me to know. There was a certain way that he worded things that upheld this intensity without being a pretentious prick. Unfairly, he was branded as crazy for his need to feel alive every single day of his life. He did things others wouldn't, yet, here he was discussing a book with Joe. The smallest things about him I just couldn't see coming and I couldn't see why it shocked me so much.

Maybe I was hanging too thickly on the fact that I thought he was a psycho. Maybe I just wasn't giving him much of a chance to prove himself. Whatever the reason was, he was behaving normally and I felt suddenly so drawn to him. I felt like unlatching my seatbelt and sitting into his lap, apologizing for not speaking to him. I wanted the kind of conversations that he was having with Joe, completely fine if he was willing to talk with me all night. Jon may have been this monster when it came to me, but outside of that, he was rather funny and relaxed.

I remained seated despite all of that... Listening in with a gentle grin on my lips.

* * *

The restaurant we had stopped at generously gave us dessert on the house that Jon sort of refused himself to have. He had left the establishment as me and Joe ate the pie they had set down. Again, I remained quiet the entire time, fine with Jon sucking his teeth and ordering for me. When Joe and I had finished, Jon was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed to his chest. Either he was craving a cigarette but knew he was trying to quit, or he was incredibly annoyed with me. Those two options alone kind of made my head spin since they were both out of speculation.

Whether it be addictive nicotine or his addiction to me in bed, we got back into the car and rode in silence. Currently, Jon was fast asleep, barely even snoring in an audible manner since the radio was barely an octave higher in volume.

What surprised me was Joe breaking our silence. "He may not be the easiest man to deal with, but it's better not to make it even more difficult to be around him..."

I knew he was referring to Jon.. Seeing that he was asleep, I could finally break my commitment to no words. "It's not the smartest thing in the world to piss him off, but you'd do the same if you knew what he's been doing."

I had been mute about this matter. No one really knew that Jon was raping me every chance he got. "So why not try and keep him happy, then? If he's happy, things won't be as bad.."

"And why do you care?" I tested, arching an eyebrow.

"I just... I feel bad for what's been going on. You left in the first place because of Jon and now your return has brought you to be with him closer than ever. I'm trying to help.." He sighed as he switched hands at the wheel.

"No one can really help me here. I signed the contract out of trust and he blew it." Or I did too. I shouldn't have trusted him in the first place.

"It can't be that bad.. Jon can be a handful, it's true, but I couldn't ever see him any other way." He had a point. A stupid one, but a point.

"That doesn't mean he could keep on being a dick." Why he kept making excuses for the other man, I didn't understand and I don't think I'd ever be able to.

"Then that gives you a reason to not test him.. Really, it's better to stay on Jon's good side than above everything else." That seemed kind of weak.

I would betray myself if I took that kind of approach, but it would surely help with the sting he created. It would alleviate it some, playing along with this delusional thought that I was his girlfriend. Besides, I could rip the bandaid off once I got away from him. All this time I kept on thinking how I could make it through the month when I didn't even think of the way Jon would react once I was out of his grasp.

He was milking this, doing whatever he could to make it last. I should've realized it earlier, but he had some thoughts of his own and something inside of me was scared of all those thoughts. When this was all done and over with, I could not only be free, but I could hurt Jon just like I wanted to all along. Plus, staying on his good side with him having the time of his life would be even more sweet. He deserved it. He deserved every single bit of it. I finally found a way of revenge.

"You're right... I'll stay on his good side."


	15. Chapter 15

I have a tendency of forgetting things before it's too late.

Joe and I had kept in touch since the ride we took. Hell, we talk to one another frequently, that is, whenever Jon wasn't ravaging in his own way. I took Joe's advice however, making sure to be nicer than I usually was, but it was still kind of an odd sort since I had this building hatred. Sure he could be rather out there and the opposite of tame, but Jesus, he couldn't seriously want sex every second? I wish I was kidding about that, but anyone in my shoes would have known the truth.

I just kept remembering the plan I had devised. I didn't have a lot of time left with Jon, but I'd make sure to be on my best behavior. As soon as I was free of his hold, I'd crush his heart and make sure to say that I never loved him as much as he forces me to say it. All of that is kind of a headache of a plan to just make up on the fly, but I needed some kind of revenge. Letting him get away with such heinous actions wasn't going to be an option.

Smoothing my skirt as I stood from where I was seated, I looked to Joe who had just walked into the building. His suitcase followed behind him and I went up to him with a smile on my face. As much of a friendship that Joe and I had built, something was still in the back of my mind that I wanted to talk to him about. Something that would probably be best to keep from Jon considering the man would probably be scorching to hear people talking about him. I knew him all too well already.

"Hey, Chasity." Joe gave me his award winning smile as we maneuvered through the hallways. He needed to get to his locker room and I needed to bring up my question before I forgot.

"How was your traveling alone?" I asked, an eyebrow raising as we walked.

"It was okay. The bad thing about it as that I almost passed out at the wheel from boredom." In which Jon was not the same way. For some reason, Jon could sleep for a couple of hours and go on for the next forty eight hours without so much as any sign of exhaustion.

"I'll see if Jon wants to ride with you soon. I actually don't have a lot of time left with him." I confessed as we got to the locker room, Joe opening the door for me first. He had his own, thank God.

"And how do you feel about that? With no more time left?" He blurted out, sitting into a steel chair that was laid out on the side.

My arms folded across my chest as I shrugged my shoulders. "Relieved I guess. I'm sure I hate him, but there are some things that are pretty cool about him that... That well.."

"That make you think otherwise?" Joe said quizzically, finishing my sentence. I nodded my head and sighed deeply.

"That's Jon for ya'.. Though, I'm sure that's not what you followed me in here to talk about. What's up?" Way to go Joe for knowing me well enough to already guess correctly.

The idea kept bouncing off the walls in my mind, having to rack my brain for the memory I had obtained. Colby and Joe... Come on, you could do it.

"I guess it is kind of about Jon.. And me... And you... And.." Now that I was asking, I felt it a lot more difficult to speak. Joe just stared at me, his eyebrow raised. He looked a lot like Dwayne and that made me smile.

"And Colby too.. I overheard you and him talking the other day.." My smile immediately faded when he froze from lacing up his boots. I could've swore I heard him gulp from the dead silence that filled the room.

"Y..you did...?" He asked, stuttering making me start to worry about what was really going on. My arms came off my chest, my facial structure hardening as I stepped closer towards Joe.

"Yes.. I did. Care to explain what's going on?" His gaze found the floor, not looking to my currently raged filled eyes.

This was a deeper secret than I thought. Joe was taking the oath of silence as I just stood there and glared at him, rage slowly boiling inside of my bones. I could feel myself beginning to almost tremble at the way I was holding things back, needing to speak out rather than await for the other to do so. Yet, he said nothing this whole time, something obviously breaking loose inside of his mind. I could tell he was thinking hard, his level of distress evident as he ran a hand to push hair strands out of his face. He currently had it up in a ponytail, but there was some loose pieces of hair that kept falling down in front of his eyes. Even those usually chilling eyes showed that he had a secret, a secret that affected me and Jon greatly. That was the only possible explanation considering what had been heard and what had been asked.

Growing tired of just watching him sit there, trying to figure out whether he was going to tell me or not, I shook my head and made my tone sharp. I moved to the door, hand coming onto the handle as I looked at Joe with a death glare. Here I thought I could trust him to tell me anything, but I guess I was naive with that too. I gave one final glare at him as he had stood to his feet now, hands trying to move up and stop me from leaving with little signals that he gave. None of that mattered now, he was keeping shit from me and I was pissed.

"Whatever. I'll just go tell Jon then about this shit." Right as the door came open, Joe's palm met it and he closed it. He pushed me against it, my back hitting it as his hands held my shoulders there. Seriously, was I everyone's push over?

"No... Don't tell Jon..." He gulped, shaking his head as he sighed heavily. I blinked, looking to my shoulders and he took a step back, his hands finding his hips.

"I... Fuck, you weren't supposed to find out..." Joe shook his head, his hands coming up to rub his face.

Thoroughly tired of dancing around this all, I finally raised my voice. "What the fuck are you talking about, Anoa'i?"

Inhaling deeply, he looked into my eyes and he started to speak. "This is a long story.. A really fucking long story, but you have to remember that this is for all the shit that happened... That you did to Jon..."

What... "Me, Jon, and Colby got the news that the Shield was breaking up and such... It went to Colby's head and he became a dick backstage, right? Everyone knew that. Everyone knows that.. Well, Jon and I were tired of beating the hell out of Colby and we ended up going for a few beers one night... We sort of made up.. It was a little after Hell in a Cell. Where Jon almost broke every bone in Colby's body." He paused now, features hardening as I tilted my head in confusion.

"After we made up, Colby decided to keep his dick act up because it made rivalries better. Every now and then he'll hang out with Jon and I just like old times and it's great. It's like we never had a fallout." I kept thinking back to where I was at Nick's house.. Where Jon and Colby had that confrontation regarding me... It was fucking fake...

"We saw the way you were unfairly treating Jon with the beatings and the pushing down.. All of it. When you finally left, Jon was a bit of a mess. We all realized that. He was a mess because he never could let go just being there. He couldn't handle not getting payback of any kind.. He's our brother though. Everyone knew Stephanie and Paul were going to be out so Jon came up with a plan... He told Colby to get you to end up being our general manager again.. Well, the son of a bitch ended up doing it." ... What... The... Fuck...

"Jon knew that flirting with you would piss you off. Colby knew that if he was even more of a dick then you would favor Jon a little more.. When you were close to leaving, Jon expected this, and he called up Stephanie and Paul. The contract was made and Jon's been having his revenge ever since... Am I right...? I know I am.. He's been acting looney for a reason. Any means to make your life hell... I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry. I really really am." His apologies sounded genuine and I probably would've forgave him, but with what had been happening, I couldn't do it.

I let my hand slap his face, his head turning as he looked to the side. Angrily, I bolted out of the room... That was a lot of information to take in, but I had been right all along... I hated Jon Good. More than anything in my entire life. Before I knew it, I was running down the halls, heels clacking. I knew that Jon was at the hotel still, gathering his belongings up whenever he said to go without him to the arena.

There was going to be some serious hell to pay.


	16. Chapter 16

I was so angry.

I didn't stop.

I couldn't.

As soon as I got the hell out of the arena, I was in the rental on the way over to the hotel that I had left Jon in. Here I was trying to be nice to him, even if it was for my own plan, but Joe was in on it. Joe may have tried to help, maybe I don't know at this kind of point, but he kept shit from me just like Jon did. Here I thought that Jon was just crazy, but he was messing with me in his own sick twisted game of revenge. The prick was possibly the smartest man alive and with the evil that ran through his veins, that was a bad combination. I was disappointed in myself that I hadn't seen something like this coming. How the hell could I be so blind and become so distracted by the way he terrified me? But that was it, enough was enough and I wasn't even a bit scared as I raced down the streets. I had never had a worse case of road rage up until this point.

With the door of the rental being slammed, I proceeded into the building, fists closed at my sides as I walked straight to the elevator. People were giving me glances and just by the way they turned away almost immediately, I didn't need a mirror to know that my blood was on fire. Everything about me currently was overheated and it really didn't surprise me considering what had just been learned. Such knowledge like this called for an even grander reaction and I knew that if I buried deep inside of myself, I'd find that reaction that went perfectly well with this entire thing. As the elevator doors slipped open, I moved forward, hurriedly trudging on down the hall until I found the familiar golden digits staring down at me. I had been so peeved off that I had forgotten my key card in the car, but that didn't stop me from hitting my fist on the door. With the loud knocking I was doing, it was satisfying the building fury I had, sure that if I stopped I'd end up screaming profanities. Such a target for his own set personal vendetta and he couldn't be bothered to answer the door in a faster response.

The door came open with Jon arching an eyebrow, a hand going to the back of his neck in confusion.

"Why are you knocking like you're the goddamn police, Chase?" He asked.

I felt like punching him right there. Instead, I pushed past him into the room and crossed my arms against my chest.

"Tell me the fucking truth." He turned to me, orbs half lidded as he was still bewildered.

"I don't know what you're talking about, darling. Something the matter?" Jon shrugged off his leather jacket. He was obviously close to taking off to the arena already and here I was yelling.

"Don't play dense with me. Enough. Don't call me darling either. Joe told me what's going on. You're fucking scum!" My arms dropped from my chest there.

He let it sink in... And right there, I swore I saw the color drain from his face. "Look... I can explain."

"You don't have to. Joe already did. You acted like an indecent human being just for fucking revenge? You made me think that you were incredibly crazy just because you were still upset over matches I made because YOU were being a dickhead! Do you not remember those times?" I challenged him, squaring my shoulders with a step forward. His head just stayed bowed, hands finding his jean pockets.

"I hate you, Jon. I hate you more than anyone alive. You raped me over and over again acting like a bipolar psycho and you scared the ever living hell out of me. Do you know what it's like to walk around in fear that someone like you might attack the second that I let my guard down? I'm fucking done with you. There's a little time left that I have with you, but not anymore. I'm done. I can't stand to be with you for another second. How the fuck do you expect me to stay even a day? I'm leaving. All of this... Every bit of it, it's fucking over. I'd rather lose my job than spend any more time with you." After I yelled at his uncringing form, I left from the room, pushing past him without a single look back. From the way that he had stayed staring at the floor, I knew he wasn't going to follow me. Every single moment that we had been together had been a lie. Even the good parts...

They were lies.

I brought my phone from my skirt's pocket as I walked, hearing that ringing. After a few, Paul answered.

"Any reason as to why my general manager is calling me?" He mused.

"You mean ex general manager now." I said as a matter of factly.

"Ex general manager? You're asking for your release?" He asked, actually sounding quite concerned.

"More like you're going to have to fire me because I'm done. I'm fucking done with Jon. I can't be around him anymore. I swear if I have to I'll smother him with a pillow in his sleep. It's not worth it." As dark as that sounded, I was one hundred percent certain that's what I'd do.

"Okay okay... Look, don't be so irrational. Your month is almost up and—"

"No, I mean it. I can't physically spend another moment with him. Nothing is going to change my mind."

There was silence on the line for a few seconds before I heard a deep heavy sigh. "I still want you as general manager. The time you were gone didn't exactly help our ratings. You're an exceptional worker and I can't just lose you again, Chasity."

"Trying to butter me up won't have me stay with him any longer." I replied, fidgeting as the elevator stopped to let people on.

"I get it... I think I can get you out of the contract then. The time is short anyway, but there might still be consequences. I don't know, but I can pull a few strings. What do you think?"

Well... I was being given the opportunity to keep my job and get away from Jon? I wasn't stupid.

"Thank God... Thank you, thank you, thank you."


	17. Chapter 17

My stuff had been gone for by some officials and that made me feel all the more better that I wouldn't have to go near Jon. It had been a couple days and here we were on Monday again, having set up a quick storyline in which I'd get my freedom back. It was the only thing they could really do with the contract I signed and frankly, I would take anything I could get. The final thing that was supposed to happen was simply Dean Ambrose losing to Rollins. It was a logical approach, and they could've teared each other apart if they wanted to. I wouldn't stop either of them from going at it. However, I never did watch Jon's matches and after the shit he pulled, I wasn't going to start watching that now. I just wouldn't mind if he came rolling by on a gurney, Lopez included.

My lip was captured in between my two rows of teeth as I had crossed my arms against my chest. The days had been a blur since I had caught up on all my sleep. My phone had a lot of missed calls, but not from the one I had been expecting. Joe's voicemails had been nonstop, always scaring me at the most off moments when I thought that Jon would burst through the door. It was so weird that Joe was immensely sorry while I never heard one word from Jon since the blow up that I had towards him. It was almost as if he completely forgot about me, but that couldn't have been right considering how much hell he had put me through. Even then, I expected to be bombarded with explanations or sorrys at the very least, but to my surprise, he never once contacted me. Paul had said he was scolding Jon to no end though, that was for sure.

A knock came at my door and so I leisurely moved over to it, hand grasping the handle lightly. As the door came open and revealed icy, blur orbs falling upon my face, I moved to slam it. Jon caught it with his foot as he took a deep sigh.

"Chase.. Don't be like that," he rasped out, those piercing orbs of his finding me once again. He muscled his way in when I wouldn't budge, suddenly standing in front of me.

"You've got a lot of nerve being here. I was actually enjoying your oath to silence," my arms crossed against my chest, watching as sweat glistened on his chest. He probably already had the match and took his loss, having had stripped of his shirt afterwards as he always did.

"I know you're still mad at me.. I was just stepping back until the waters weren't as rocky," he let out, head cocking slightly to the left as he tried to give a soft smile. I had to fight the urge not to slap it off his face.

"Until the waters weren't as rocky? I still have your fucking fingerprints bruised on my hips. Do you not understand what the fuck you've done wrong," I asked, watching as his smile immediately fell. His head bowed then, eyelids falling down to hide his eyes.

"I know what I did was wrong... It was incredibly wrong... Plus, for revenge? Chase, I'm a sick fucking excuse for a human being. I know I am... I'm sorry. I should've said something earlier but—" I cut him off before he could finish, stepping forward to square off with him despite the towering size he held over me.

"But fucking nothing. What you did to me was unforgivable. Here I thought you were a goddamn psycho who had attachment issues, but no, you're a goddamn psycho who would probably push his own sibling into fire if it meant getting payback," I balled my fists at my sides, knowing that came out a lot louder than I had first intended it to. But what could I really do, his face just made me angry.

"Did you seriously think that acknowledging that what you did is wrong makes everything better? Shit doesn't work like that, Jon. Nothing in this world works like that. It doesn't take it back," my own eyes shut in my anger that was building, my right hand raising to pinch at the bridge of my nose. I felt his arms attempt to wrap around me and that's where everything went on high alert. I pushed myself from him, glaring a hole straight through his chest. I could tell he meant to comfort me with the way his hand came up to the back of his neck.

"I'm sorry, Chase... For everything. I didn't stop and now it's too late. Now I really have lost you... For good. And it's all my fault," he let out, expression telling it all. He was conflicted, and surprisingly, he was sad... Moving from where he stood in front of me, he moved to the door and left through it, closing it behind him with the most gentle touch I had ever seen.

I don't know why, but it broke at my nerves. The voice in my head was yelling at me to go after him while another voice said to leave him, he deserved this shit. Listening to the yelling voice, I stepped out of the room and went down the hallway around the corner. I was in no rush, but he really had gained an upper hand here seeing that he was already close to his locker room. My voice fell silent when I tried to garner his attention, seeing him suddenly lean on the door of his locker room as he looked to the side with a flat line on his lips forming. That's where I hid slightly, making sure that he didn't see me as Paul came up to him.

"Quite the performances you put on, Jon. I was moved every time," Paul chuckled, his hands finding his pockets.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all fucking done. You gonna hold up your end of the deal or what?" Jon looked annoyed as he stared at Paul with great conviction. Paul merely held the smile that he had formed, bringing from his pocket an envelope.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you," the envelope was pushed into Jon's chest, his own hand raising to come over it.

"Whatever. I did what you wanted, now will I be left alone," he asked begrudgingly as he raised an eyebrow.

"You'll be left alone. You shouldn't be very snarky towards me, either. I heard what happened between the two of you. If it's true, I could immediately throw your ass in jail," Paul warned, his finger pointing at him as his smile had faded.

"I don't give a shit. I'm sure they'd love to hear that the WWE condones that type of behavior if it means ratings will shoot up," Jon had growled it, and I knew there that it was him talking. Actually him. I had heard that attitude enough when we used to bump heads.

"Fine. We forget this entire thing happened. Enjoy your prize," Paul rolled his eyes as he walked off, Jon shaking the envelope in his hand as he gave his own quip back.

"Oh, believe me, I will," Jon said annoyed, heading into the locker room with a certain irritation in his motions.

I was shocked... Beyond shocked actually. Paul had set this up from the beginning and Jon had gone along with it. Who knew, maybe there wasn't any fucking reunion between the three either. It explained some of Joe's rather vague messages in his apologies. He probably thought I found out about this too. It was a case of utter mistrust within a case of utter mistrust. It all made sense now. There really wasn't anything else to think about.

Paul and Stephanie always made sure to run the show well, but ratings were suffering, so they brought me in one day to fill in with some bullshit excuse that had them out. Paul had Colby do some other bullshit plan and then I'm back as general manager as a permanent position. Jon really was pissed off at me, and so of course Paul came up and offered him something to gain his own revenge. It made sense since the confrontation at that party was angry but then he started flirting out of nowhere. It was all so they could get ratings and Jon didn't hold back to break me. And boy, did he break me. With this entire mess, I had been blind to what was actually going on. But one thing was for damn sure.

I hated Paul Levesque more than Jonathan Good.


	18. Chapter 18

As I moved to open the hotel room door, I heard a voice from behind me break me from my thoughts that had gone rather dark.

"Been a stressful few days, babe," it asked, its peaceful style making me recognize it immediately. A smile crept onto my lips as I turned around and faced Nick, seeing that grin on his features.

"It really has been... You don't know the half." I dropped my arms from being crossed at my chest as I moved to where my back met the door. It felt good to be more at ease rather than looking over my shoulder for any sign of trouble that may come my way.

"So I've heard rumors, a lot of them. I don't know if any of them are true, but a lot of them sound awful so I'm assuming your time with Jon didn't go so well." A hand came up to the back of his neck, his fingers threading through the blond curls that gathered in that area. I could see how he felt nervous about the topic at hand. I felt nervous just thinking about it. I couldn't have blamed him for anything when it came to this atmosphere of utter anxiety.

"Not at all. Actually, it sucked. I don't know what the rumors are saying, but I can tell you right now that behind closed doors was utter hell." A deep sigh left from my mouth, my head moving to press into the door behind. Fingers pinched at the bridge of my nose as eyelids had shut closed, reliving the nightmare that was Jon Good. The nightmare that Paul had willingly stuck me with.

"... He didn't hit you did he?" Concern filled Nick's voice as he took a step forward. My hand fell from my face, looking at the blond in front of me as I blinked slowly. His jaw had tightened and it surely told me that he was envisioning such a terror. An angry Jonathan Good running me over in one of his temper tantrums. Despite the one instance that involved talk of his mother a long time ago, I knew Jon would never lay a hand on me to abuse me.

"No, he didn't. I can promise you that, but I'd also rather not talk about what happened between us. It's something I don't want to relive." I timidly moved forward as well, finding how he showed his care endearing. Nick didn't know of what happened and he still cared for my own well being. That alone was something I was immensely appreciative of.

"I know it's not any of my business, but a lot of people are claiming that they heard you yelling about some bruises. I'm just worried." The confession did sting at my heart, but it did make me turn away. He didn't know that the bruises had come from a grip that was tight as I got pounded into. And not the kind of pounding that Nick was thinking.

"You're worried about me, huh?" It was better to change the subject. As much as I wanted Jon to get his, I didn't want Nick to try and go after him. Jon was capable of some pretty awful things so I was worried for Nick's wellbeing. We didn't need to have a massacre on our hands just because I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

"Now how did you turn that around on me that quickly?" He let out a chuckle, that smile returning to his chiseled features as he clapped his hands together in front of him. That's what I wanted to see. Nothing sad.

"I just caught something that I thought was a useful piece of information. I actually worry about you too believe it or not." I saw how he shifted in the way he stood. He went from serious to happy in a split second and such a hot flash like that brought back some memories I was trying to get rid of. Bipolar acts had been done by Jon in his attempts to break me for the ratings and I couldn't even blame anyone except Paul. Jon was just the actor that got caught up in his own want for revenge.

"Here I was fretting over a second date while you were miserable. Even if you worried, you shouldn't have. I have lot of worrying myself that I need to catch up on, Chasity." His hands found his pockets as he went ahead and took yet another step forward, the distance between us starting to blatantly disappear. The cool thing about it was that I didn't mind it at all.

"That's incredibly noble of you, but I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself you know." I playfully brought my hand to his chest to lightly push, but he surprised me as he latched his own around my wrist, bringing me closer. The feeling was familiar, being entrapped by a grip.

His grip on my wrists didn't teeter once as he pushed me up against the wall; challenging him again would simply make matters worse for me. My head lulled forward as he pushed his length into me, eyelids draped shut tightly as I held onto him by his strong shoulders. His pumping began, strokes that were anything but soft came from his snapping hips as he held mine down. I couldn't move much, having to hold on for dear life as he took what he wanted from me as he did dozens of times before. A rasp filled groan left from his mouth, my moans already bordering that high pitch of screaming out as I scored my nails down near his shoulder blade. That move was going to leave welts for sure, but I don't think he was ashamed to have any scarring from an intense sexual bout. His panting was evident that he was focused on forcing himself in and out of me at a stronger, faster pace, making sure he was exerting everything he could. My mind was all over the place, my screams becoming louder by the second as he growled, "Chase, give into me... Let go."

I pulled harshly away from Nick's grip as I inhaled a sharp breath. Bewilderment filled his expression as he arched an eyebrow at my sudden drop. I didn't know what came over me, but judging from what was being relived, I knew that I just couldn't look at him the same for now. Jon fucking Good left his mark for damn sure.

"I um... I'm sorry. I just think that you and I should be friends for now," I had said shyly, trying not to replay what had been going on in my mind.

"I suppose I understand that... I don't really think you need a relationship right now anyway," he confessed with a grin of reassurance.

I didn't want to make the situation any more awkward than it already was so I took a step away from him and headed into my room. Once the door was in between our very existences, I was able to breathe gently.

However, a jolt of fear spread throughout me whenever I heard a noise come from further into the room. Jon...?

My heart began to beat rapidly against my chest as I gulped down the trembling fear running throughout my entity. Slowly, I ventured further, eyes squeezing shut out of pure instinct.

"Baby," the feminine voice exclaimed, immediately shooting my eyes open. Debra took a stride across the room and wrapped her arms around me as she let her grip go tighter.

"Jesus fuck, what are you doing here," I asked with a raise of an eyebrow. I was beyond relieved.

"Paul gave me a call that you might want me around again. How was the month with the horrible excuse for a human being," she muttered, bringing me out of her death hug as I sighed.

"I would rather not talk about it if I'm being honest," I said shyly.

"Fair enough... Now, we have a lot of catching up to do. I got just the right amount of ice cream for us to do so, too."

Man did I love her.


	19. Chapter 19

RAW was running as smoothly as ever and I couldn't find it in myself to complain even once during the show. Everyone was stopping by and congratulating me on the stellar matches that I was setting up. It felt good to finally be appreciated for the knowledge I had plenty of when it came to making my wrestlers look good. Two hours into the show, Colby walked in through the door rather sheepishly. In a way, I was angry at him, but he had only really did a few things that got me into this mess. Throughout it, he wasn't around to make my life hell. Well, more than it already was.

"I think that you and I need to talk, Chasity," he said as he crossed his arms against his chest. He gave a small grin that brought out his features in an approachable way. I couldn't help but smile in an amiable manner as I simply gestured towards the steel chair in front of my desk that they had set up. It was good to be the boss.

Moving from where he stood, he took a seat into the chair and looked across from me as his hand smoothed his hair back for a moment.

"Joe told me how you found out about everything and I just want to make things clear before you go and hate all three of us... Well, before you go and hate Joe considering the fact that I think he was the only one clear minded throughout this," he explained, leaning back further into the chair as a he let out a long sigh.

"Jon and I hated each other. You knew that. But yeah, the hate did die down because I realized what a prick I was becoming. Paul and Steph' were going to be out... It was all a part of the plan, you see. They weren't really out. They were just giving me the opportunity to get you back. I don't know why they just didn't call you," he trailed off, looking up as he continued on.

"Paul called me. He made me a deal that I just couldn't refuse. He did the same with Joe because he knows how noble Joe can be. Chasity, my job was on the line... I didn't know what else to do... Everyone calls me this golden child, but I didn't have a choice. This is everything to me," Colby had dropped his head to stare at his lap. I didn't expect this from him...

"Joe has a family. A wonderful, amazing family that both Jon and I love. Joe couldn't do that to them. He was going to lose his job too so of course he was fine with just going with the plan. His part was easy, really. All he had to do was be himself, but stand back as you... Suffered. Believe me, he wanted to tell you, but it was me who wouldn't let him. I couldn't have that happen to his family nor neither of our careers that we worked so fucking hard for," he breathed, his eyes becoming glassy. I knew this was overwhelming him. I could see it as he held back tears that were forming.

"It was just a month. A month that was agonizingly full of guilt for both Joe and I. When we had agreed to do it earlier, Paul just had to convince Jon. But," he stopped as he finally raised his head to look at me.

"Jon didn't want any part of this. The negotiation at his house was cut short... Chasity, Jon was willing to lose his job because he didn't want to harass you. He straight up told Paul that he was fine with just going back to the independent circuit. Jon loves wrestling that much... And he doesn't have a family like Joe to support. But Paul has his ways," Colby shakily muttered as he gulped back.

"... How did Paul convince Jon," I asked, thoroughly curious about this entire thing. I had seen Paul give an envelope to Jon the day he came by my office and I oh so willingly followed him back. I had just assumed that it was money inside of that envelope.

"That I have no idea about. All I really know is that Jon wouldn't tell Joe and I no matter how much we begged and bothered him. But whatever Paul promised to give to Jon, it shook him up. Why else would he go to drastic measures to just break you completely," Colby gulped. I think he was recalling the fact that Jon and I hated each other. It was what caused me to move to another brand to run that instead. It didn't make sense for Jon to just agree with Paul out of the blue after refusing to have anything to do with me. Whatever was in that envelope must have really been worth it.

"I'm sorry, Chasity. I wasn't even supposed to tell you about any of this, but I couldn't sit back and just watch. I didn't want you to hate Joe for protecting his family... I didn't want you to hate me because my job was threatened. I don't want you to hate Jon, but... He's a very complicated person who keeps a lot of secrets so I wouldn't blame you. It takes a certain kind of special to understand him... I barely do understand him actually. I don't know if he hates you or if he secretly cares about you, but I do know that he's hiding something. I know my friend too well," he let out, tapping his fingers onto the metal of the desk. Slowly, he stood up from the steel chair and took a deep breath through inhaling.

"Be careful. I don't think that any of this is over. In fact, I think it's far from over. Do me a favor and keep this between the two of us. If Paul finds out... Let's just say there would be hell to pay," Colby moved as he let out the breath he had been holding to go straight to the door. He didn't turn back to look at me as he left from my office.

That was certainly a lot of information to take in, but it all made sense. I had thought about all of this long and hard and if I hadn't followed Jon to his locker room that day, I wouldn't have believed anything Colby said. Paul was the master mind behind this entire thing and I had been right to think that there was a conspiracy going on. I just didn't understand why Jon would go as far as something as serious as rape to make me go insane. That was the only thing I couldn't get a firm grasp of.

I had a migraine at this point, having had too many ideas of why all of this had to happen to me. Leaning against the door, I brought my head against it and attempted to calm myself down by slowing my breathing.

That was cut off whenever the door suddenly pushed and brought me back to reality. It almost hit me in the nose and probably would have done so if I didn't see the handle move. Jon stood there in front of me, hands in the pockets of his jeans as he leaned his back against the door that almost struck me.

I didn't know what he was doing here, but I was relieved he hadn't walked in whenever Colby was giving me an explanation.

I opted to speak first, but Jon raised a hand and began speaking himself.

"Before you yell at me to get the fuck out, it's been three weeks since we've talked and I don't want this to be a screaming match," he rasped out. I only crossed my arms against my chest as I simply nodded my head.

"Go on," I coaxed.

"You didn't really give me much of a chance last time, but I'm here to apologize. Really, really apologize. I'm sorry for what I did. This one's on me. I know I made your life... Just fucking hell and you didn't deserve any of that. I don't know what came over me," his hands pulled from his pockets. I could tell he was still as conflicted as when I had seen him in our last encounter.

"Actually, I do know what came over me. I know what you saw three weeks ago," he firmly said as his eyebrows creased inwards.

Uh oh.

"I saw you, Chase. Paul may not have, but I did. Before you ask, there wasn't any money in the envelope. I couldn't care less about that shit," he took a step forward, the recalling of his towering size donning on me. Instinct told me to take a step back, but I didn't.

"So I got to thinking about how that looked... Me coming to be 'sad' and then being all worked up the next second once the boss gives off some kind of prize? You know. You're too smart. I'm pretty damn sure you figured it out," he said with conviction radiating in his voice.

"Yet, you didn't swing by to confront me about it and that's what threw me off. It's been three weeks, Chase.. I couldn't wait forever," he confessed slyly as he ran a hand through his hair.

"It's true. I was working for Paul. So I'm sorry for all the shit I did to you. None of it should have happened no matter what's on the line. I don't want there to be any hard feelings between us either. You do you and I could just do me and we could leave it at that," he said, rolling his shoulders. I knew he was tense.

I thought about telling him that Colby was just in here a second ago, but I couldn't get myself to do so. Colby had told me not say a word about that interaction and although I couldn't really trust anyone in this business considering this entire fiasco, I wasn't going to suddenly turn my back on what he said. But... It felt wrong to keep the information that I knew from Jon. The guilt made me nod my head as I tried to smile.

"It's okay... No hard feelings. Really. I just want everyone to move on and forget about it.. I know I really want to forget about it honestly," I replied as I thought about the flashback I had whenever Nick had grabbed my wrists. It was an intense memory that I didn't want to relive. I was shaken up about it, but I couldn't do anything without losing my job. With what I knew now, I knew that I wouldn't be the only one who would lose a job either.

It was one thing to just give up, but it was another thing entirely to just give up and take people down with you. I had morals here and as much as they wronged me, I couldn't let Colby down. This was his dream. I couldn't let Joe down either. This job was needed for his family and it would break my heart to take that from him. I didn't know what Jon had to lose, but if he cared about it as much as I was thinking, it just had to be really important.

"Alright. I feel better about this now. I'll see you around, Chase. Don't be a stranger," he warned with a soft grin. A genuine grin too. He left from the office through the door without a look back to me. I was pretty glad that he hadn't looked at me once in his departure because now I was one step ahead of Jon. Before, Jon had known everything and how it was to go. Now I knew things that Jon didn't know I knew. Which is a bit of a headache.

Fuck.

My migraine came back.


	20. Chapter 20

We're halfway through the story! I have a feeling you all are going to like how the rest of this going to go. I know I had been on a long hiatus from this story, but I'm really trying to get it running again.

Enjoy!

"Muscles or no muscles," Debra asked from the couch as she looked over to me. The magazine that was in her hands was being written in with the pen she had borrowed from my desk.

"I do enjoy a man with nice looking arms," I said with a gentle laugh as I brought my legs off of the surface of the desk. I had been so lenient in the past few weeks that it was good to just relax and just enjoy Debra's company.

There hadn't been any more interruptions since my run in with Colby and Jon. In fact, the only outing that I really had with a colleague was with Joe. We had gone for coffee and just enjoyed each other's company. Debra and I on the other hand had spent a lot of time just shopping and going out to clubs. I hadn't done this kind of thing since I had been an adolescent, but I was beginning to recall how much fun it really was. It was something else entirely to just let loose with your best friend. Her little fling with Orton had ended early on too much to my own relief. If that had gone on any further, I wouldn't have known what to do.

However, I did see her speaking with Joe after our little coffee moving. There may have been something there, but I wouldn't hold onto it considering how much Debra flirts yet does nothing about it.

"Speaking of a man with nice arms," she had said abruptly just as Nick walked in. He didn't give a smile which was surprising. I hadn't spoke to him since the incident at the hotel and I was beginning to wonder why he had made himself scarce. Considering the expression on his face, I knew something was bothering him.

"Is there something wrong, Nick," I asked with a raising of my eyebrow. In response, he motioned his head toward the door before he walked out. I knew Debra being there meant that he wanted to speak to me in a more private situation.

"What do you think is wrong," Debra had almost read my mind as she closed her magazine.

"I have no idea. Let me go find out," I had stated and walked out on my own. Nick was there, arms folded and all as he cleared his throat.

I didn't have much time to ask what was bothering him since he just began to talk straight away.

"Chasity, I can't wait anymore," he said out of nowhere.

"What are you—"

"You know exactly what I mean. I just can't wait for you anymore. It seems that in the weeks that have gone by, every time I even tried to do something, you haven't been into it. At all. And that bothers me. A lot," he spoke with a certain edge to his tone. I blinked at him, a bit confused as to why he decided to do this here at work.

"Chasity, this has been one sided from the very start. I'm the one who's always chasing after you and I'm getting sick and tired of it. Not only that, you've ignored me the entire time that you've been away from Jon. I don't know what you expect me to say about that, but just know that if we hadn't seen each other at the hotel, we never would have talked," he stated. I could only look down. I had been so happy and now I was being pushed off of my mountain. I didn't like that at all.

"Am I wrong? Whatever, you go about your business. Just know you'll go about it without me in your life. You got what you wanted," Nick had turned on his heel. I felt myself twinge in guilt before I reached out to grab his hand.

I stroked it, watching as he turned around with a surprised look upon his features.

"You're wrong, Nick. I didn't mean to ignore you at all. This I swear of. I've gone through a lot, but you know what, I should've reached out to you sooner. I've had the biggest crush on you for the longest time and I had no idea how to tell you that. I want to be with you. You have no idea how happy I am when I'm with you. It's like I forget about everything else and I'm finally able to just be myself. You don't expect me to be this great general manager and you actually want me for me. Not to be at the top of the ladder or to raise our ratings somehow. Nick, I want to be your girlfriend. It took me so long to come to this decision and I'm so sorry, but if the offer is still on the table, I'm willing to take it," I had been straightforward as I stared into his eyes. Such gorgeous eyes he had too. By the way his strong jaw twitched, I knew he was thinking about it. His hand came over mine, stroking the back of it with his thumb as he smiled at me.

"Do you really mean all of that," he asked. I nodded my head, sheepishly curling my mouth into a reassuring smile. We stood there in silence for a couple of seconds before he dropped my hand from his grasp.

"The offer is off the table and it'll never be on the table again. Sorry, Chasity, but you had your chance. I'm better than this," he turned back around, distance growing between us as he walked away.

I could feel my insides plummeting as soon as I repeated what he said in my head. Suddenly, I was incredibly heartbroken. Not only that, I was angry. He had pushed me off of the peak and I couldn't have been cordial about that one bit. Instead, I yelled from where I stood.

"You know what, you have a match tonight, sweetheart. You're going to face Stephen and Stuart in a two on one handicap. Good luck with that shit," I exclaimed, not giving two shits about the coworkers who looked at me in surprise. Nick turned back to look at me. I had never wanted someone's attention so bad.

I flipped him the bird and went into my office slamming the door. I could only see red at this point, but that faded after a minute. My vision blurred with tears I refused to let fall as I sat down into the couch next to Debra.

I had explained to her what happened and she began to pet my head as I laid onto her lap. I let my tears flow freely then, trying to flood out the pain I felt. I had never felt so rejected in my life and it was horrible.

"There, there, Chasity... He's a fucking jerk. I know guys who would kill to be with someone like you," she had made that clear as she pushed strands from my face.

I was so lucky to have Debra.


	21. Chapter 21

Heels clacked along the pavement as I held my head high. They were black, underneath there was a red color that would have been eye catching to damn near everyone who decided to take a glance my way. I would for sure not mind the look anyway since I knew that they enjoyed the view. It had been a week of helpless crying and throwing used tissues into the trash can. Debra had been there every step of the way for me too and I couldn't thank her enough for it, but at the same time, I felt I was boring her. From my own idea, we were heading on over to my car so we could hit up the nearest bar. Changing into some killer heels and a tight dress hadn't taken too long either which was a huge relief since I just wanted to do something other than cry. Plus, Debra deserved a night out from how much she had put up with my overbearing crying.

During my week of pure oppression, Joe had been around to comfort me just the very same. I knew of what a nice guy he was, but he was being even nicer than usual. I think that had to do with Debra more than it did with me, but I wasn't complaining since she seemed happy. One of us deserved happiness from this thing and I wasn't going to stand in the way of that no matter how needy I was. I had went from being overworked in bed to getting none every night and as much as I wanted that to change, I didn't want anything to do with a man at the moment. Besides, I didn't want Debra to wind up catching me with my fingers stuffed inside considering how close we were currently living together. That would be an awkward situation to be caught in and I didn't want any of that to happen. Though, it had been thought about once or twice and that was something I certainly couldn't deny.

As Debra and I ventured further across the halls, Joe joined us at our sides. He was wearing a muscle shirt and his tattoos were glistening from how he had just taken a shower. I may have stared too long, but from how Debra was staring, my own looked like a saint's glance.

"Where are you two ladies heading off to looking so good," he said with a gentle laugh. All Joe.

"Just thought I'd take a break from crying and take my friend out," I replied as I wrapped an arm around Debra's shoulders, our suitcases rolling nicely behind us all.

"That sounds great, actually. You both deserve a reprieve at the very least," Joe had nodded his head, already looking around.

"Looking for something," Debra asked with curiosity as she noticed the search in his movements.

"Yeah, Jon and I were supposed to drive to the hotel, but I think he got a ride with Colby instead. I'll text him about it, no need to really worry," he said with a shrug of his broad shoulders.

"Don't you think Jon would've told you that he was leaving with Colby though?"

"Lately, Jon hasn't been very talkative, Chasity. It's like he's become more reclusive than he actually is. It's weird, but I'm adjusting. If he doesn't end up getting a ride, he'll take a taxi home and be pissed with me for about a day. I don't feel like tearing an arena down to look for him whenever he said he might ride with Colby tonight anyway," he had answered. We had entered the parking lot and I couldn't really ask anymore questions since Joe had spotted his rental rather quickly.

"I'll see you girls soon. Try not to stay out too late, we have a flight tomorrow and let me tell you, being hungover on a plane fucking sucks," he warned with a chuckle as he waved and walked away.

Debra and I did the very same, waving as we both began to walk over my own rental. My sights had been set on just finding a route around the car to just get to the driver's side, but hearing Debra's scream snapped me from any thoughts I had.

Joe had been back with us in a heartbeat as I found what Debra had yelled about. Nick was on the floor, holding his leg. It made my stomach turn from how it had been twisted. I had never broken a bone in my body, but seeing this, I knew he was in great pain from how he was writhing. Debra on the other hand scared easily when it came to anything that had to do with this kind of stuff. It explained some of her dislike for wrestling.

"I got you, man," Joe helped Nick up, but from how he tried to put pressure on his leg, we all heard a loud snap and I looked away immediately as Debra covered her eyes.

Joe helped Nick into his rental as he quickly got into the driver's seat. Debra had got into the back seat of his rental, as Joe looked over at me through his rolled down window.

"I need to get him to the hospital right away. You coming, Chasity?"

I looked at Debra in the backseat who was close to passing out. I knew that she was tagging along because of the big heart she had though. I remembered then how we had seen a man break his nose and she had insisted that we wouldn't leave him until he was okay. It was simply a habit of hers.

However, as much as I wanted to make sure Nick was going to be okay, I shook my head and cleared my throat as I looked to Joe. I didn't once take a glance at Nick since a part of me was still mad at him, but I also didn't want to intrude after setting him up in a handicap match the week before. Seemed like now he really was handicapped... But he didn't even have a match tonight and I knew immediately I had someone to confront.

"No, Joe. I have business to take care of."


	22. Chapter 22

I made a mistake to have been so angry with Nick. Here I thought I was a step ahead of everything, but I really wasn't in actuality. Rumors were constant when it came to the backstage area, so I should've automatically ran to my rental instead of watching as Joe loaded Nick into his car. The only reason I didn't was because my brain hadn't been thinking fast enough. Now there was a million thoughts a minute and I knew I just had to get to the hotel immediately for Nick's sake. It was also for my own sanity since I still felt that I was being watched in some way. Even though I had told Nick I was ready to be his girlfriend, I was still having the small amount of flashbacks that scared me. I would even consider my nightmares in this, but those hadn't been as active to haunt me.

It was almost as if I had Jon out of my system, but then I'd get him back whenever I least expected him to be there. It was difficult to forget about what happened even though we had an agreement to do just that, but now I knew that I had a hard time because of the zero closure. I suppose a part of me still hadn't forgave Jon since the moment I heard the loud snap from Nick's leg, I blamed Jon. I just had a feeling that Jon was the attacker since he wasn't even around with Joe. Maybe I was wrong to be suspicious, but I had a rage as I stood in the elevator, awaiting for the doors to slide open. It was almost gnawing how they remained closed while I felt the pressure on my legs transition to be at level with the floors. After what seemed like an agonizing wait, the doors came open and I let out a long breath of relief as I walked through. My mind had only been thinking about what hotel room I was going to search for while I marched down the hall.

When the golden numbers stared down at me in all their glory, I balled up my fist before I knocked onto the wooden exterior. The knocks had been firm to show that this was important, my own arms crossing against my chest as I awaited. My foot would have been tapping on the floor if I had been wearing sneakers at the very least, but my heels had made that a bit hard. Despite the difficulty, I had switched most of my weight onto one leg as I waited for the door to finally come open. When it did, I managed to have my posture perk up as my eyebrows had been creased inwards for my expression of complete anger to be sent out. A piece of me began to regret this whenever I examined that Jon was in nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist as a toothbrush hung from his mouth. He had his own examination as he looked me up and down and tilted his head for me to follow into the room. I wanted him to get changed first so of course I went on in as he went straight to the bathroom to finish up brushing his teeth.

He returned in the same towel as he gave a small sigh. His shoulders rolled in all their muscular veins with the popping of his neck following suit. I could tell he was really stressed from how he situated himself to sit at the edge of the bed. I stayed where I was against the door, ready to bolt if I had to as I went ahead and started the damn accusation process.

"I know it was you," I said sternly, squaring my shoulders as I looked at the blank space in front of him. I didn't see much movement come from him in my peripheral vision from how I had been straightforward.

"What exactly was me," he asked with a snort. I took that moment to glare at him with a shake of my head.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Jon. You didn't think that I would figure it out," I had spoke with a chiding tone, awaiting his answer.

"Oh, that. I don't see what you're mad about honestly. I knew you'd figure it out, but I didn't think you'd figure it out this fast. Hell, I'm in a goddamn towel for fuck's sake," he spoke nonchalantly as he raised himself to his feet. His hair was already dry, most of it on his forehead and dangling over his eyes.

"You do know what I'm talking about, right," I had questioned. It was weird that he was saying all of this so easily. In an almost cool manner.

"I do. So where'd you find him? Was he still in the parking lot where I left him or did he crawl to your office crying for help," Jon had replied in the form of a question as he let out a soft chuckle.

Blinking, I didn't know what to say. I had a hunch that it had been Jon who attacked Nick, but now that he wasn't even denying it, I didn't know if he was playing with me or if I didn't want to believe it anymore.

"You're fucking sick... You really did that to Nick," I asked as I clutched at the handle of the door. I didn't expect this to come from him. This kind of confession.

"I did. Chase, I'm not going to try and speak in riddles with you. Yeah, I beat the fuck out of Nick," he shrugged his shoulders as he moved to the mini fridge. He took a water bottle into his hand and took a long drink before he looked over to me.

"Do you want some," he said as he got closer and stretched the bottle towards me.

I smacked the bottle from his hand, his attention going straight to it as the contents of the plastic spilled out onto the carpet.

"Well, fuck. The maids aren't going to be happy about that," Jon had said as he ran a hand through his hair with a chuckle.

"This isn't a fucking joke, Jon! You hurt Nick and that means you're putting his job on the line. Not only that, do you have any idea how that shit makes us look? How the hell are we supposed to explain this to the dirt sheets? Why is Dolph Ziggler suddenly out of fucking action? Oh right, Dean Ambrose did it! What the fuck is wrong with you," it had been a rhetorical question. Nothing more than that as I shook my head in disappointment. But... Instead of being angry, he merely just shrugged his shoulders again.

"Just say he fell down the stairs," he had remarked in a sing song manner that made me want to punch him straight in the teeth.

"You're unbelievable. I should've expected this from you the moment that you laid your hands on me during our stupid month together," I had told him as he straightened out. His lenient demeanor shifted to a more serious one. I didn't know why I wanted to hurt him, but I did.

"People like you belong in jail. Not only did you rape me, you've committed a crime against Nick that you confessed to me. There's no good in you as a person and I don't know why I even bothered with you. I don't know why your ass is still even in this company," I yelled at him, dropping closed fists at my sides. I saw his jaw clench as he shook his head.

"I thought we were forgetting about what happened," he said.

"Oh we were until you decided to do this shit. I hate you, Jon. I thought that you were genuinely sorry about what you did, but you're not. You get pleasure out of hurting people and that's fucking crazy. What you need is therapy," my voice had remained at the same volume as I stared at him. My blood was boiling as I thought about Nick in pain again. He had been so hurt and I didn't even go to the damn hospital with him. Here I was confronting an asshole who had put him there in the first place.

"There's nothing redeemable about you and I was stuck on this belief that there was something about you that was. But there's not. I made the mistake of trusting you once and you took advantage of me. I made a stupid judgment call after you showed me a bit of compassion and that wasn't the right thing to do. It wasn't the right thing at all. I should've branded you as scum permanently. You made my life hell before so why wouldn't you jump on the opportunity to do it again? I had been so naive and so stupid to think that you're some normal guy, but you're not. What you are is utter trash. Just like your mother is and was," I had clicked my teeth, already turning the handle of the door before he took a stride and closed the distance between us.

His body had pinned mine against the door as he looked down at me with cold eyes.

"I'm getting really fucking tired of you, Chase," he growled out, using his hand to tilt my chin up towards him. I felt myself gulp. I knew I had hit a nerve whenever I mentioned his mother. But I couldn't stop myself. I wanted him to be emotionally hurt just like I had been for the past week. Even if it wasn't his fault.

What was his fault was all the damage I had gone through and the fact that Nick was currently in the hospital. He deserved every word that I said and I would be damned to apologize to him just because he had me up against the door.

I was already getting tremors of this familiar feeling and I was answered with his lips clashing onto mine, his hand holding me steady as he drove his tongue in between my lips. I sighed against him, trying to push him away, but he deepened the kiss with a tilt of his head, wrestling my tongue as he reached down and gripped my thigh tightly in his hand. I could feel his blunt nails digging into my flesh before he raised me from the ground to push me further up the door. He tasted minty for a while, but once I got passed that, I tasted his familiar grit that I hadn't forgotten. He drug the zipper down to my dress, I had heard it. It made me squirm but he gave a shh to shut me the hell up as he nipped at my jaw to down my neck.

"Fuck I went so long without this," he roared, dragging the fabric of my dress off of my body. I couldn't stop him since my struggles would possibly make this worse than it already was. I felt so ashamed of myself too since I realized how wet I was whenever his knuckles dragged against the center of my underwear.

"You're drenched. Perfect," he growled in approval as he unclasped my bra after snaking an arm behind, using the wall for support. My breasts fell out of the cups and he oh so gentlemanly removed it with a snatch of his hand. I could tell that by his features he wanted to drop his head and bring his lips around my nipple, but judging by the erection I saw hidden in the towel, he wasn't going to anything but a selfish lover.

"Jon, stop," I spoke through a moan as he drug his knuckles against me again, sliding off the underwear down my legs. Turning me around and pushing me against the door, he kicked my legs apart as I tried to calm down my breathing. I was in this situation again and was close to damn near crying at this point, but my body was betraying me from how it began arching and searching for his veiny member.

"I don't do soft," he grunted, referring to how we were. I didn't expect him to be soft nor gentle either. He had always been raw and intense, yet right now giving me a warning straight away as he pulled the rubber band that held my hair. I felt the locks drop down passed my shoulders, which were pushed away so he could kiss at my shoulder blade.

Jon had been coy about making me wait, my own anticipation growing whenever I heard his towel drop from behind me. Instead of entering me there against the door, he moved us to where I could lean on the edge of the bed. His hand twisted into my blonde hair as he tilted my head to focus at my side. I saw our reflection in the mirror, barely able to see his dick, but it was there. The tip was oozing pre cum and I didn't know how to feel about that. I gripped the sheets out in front of me as I gulped.

He wanted me to watch.

My eyes met my own in the mirror as he teased me with the very tip of himself. I couldn't help but have my grip tighter as I whined softly, whimpering whenever I felt him circle my entrance. Just when I thought he would tease me forever, he rammed himself into me, roughly beginning an intense pace to where I could feel his rod angling for sensitivity. I lost it, feeling how his thickness stretched me and made me as his. I screamed as I came hard around him, closing my eyes in pure instinct. He gruffly groaned for me to open them to watch at how I tightened around him.

And I did watch. It was erotic how his member disappeared over and over again into me at such an erratic pace. I found his lust filled eyes as he watched the very same, grunting and groaning as we moved the bed in creaking noises. It felt amazing, a feeling I couldn't ignore.

Rotations galore made my eyes roll into the back of my head with pleasure. I knew that for sure he was going to last a long time. It was inevitable. Even if he came, his drive would want more in a knick of time.

I was too mentally exhausted to give him a greater fight.


	23. Chapter 23

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I could feel my eyes burning from the sliver of sunlight that decided to shine in through. That should've been an amazing way to wake up, but I knew well that under the thick sheet that cloaked my body, I was complete bare. Clothes had been left near the door, too far for me to really go and get. This kind of laziness usually never struck me, but as I shifted slightly, I felt the pang of soreness already settling into my legs. I had expected to feel this considering how long I had really gone without getting some every single night. The problem was how weak and defeated I felt to be back in this situation, not running for the hills as I stared mindlessly in front of me at the curtains. They interested me for some odd reason since they couldn't talk or yell for that matter that I should've just went to the hospital with Nick. I just didn't want to believe that I did the wrong thing, however.

I turned where I laid having felt the movement behind me. Piercing blue orbs had caught me by surprise, lingering a little longer to stare at my facial structure. I didn't say a word as he breathed evenly, my own breath joining his in the sharing of sound. The eyes that were his made me wonder just how long he had been staring at me or if he even slept at all. If he had managed to catch at least a few winks, he probably wouldn't have looked so tired. The light bags that ran under were visible by the sunlight, but I didn't mind them even if I didn't have them myself. I had gotten a lot of sleep since our departure and now I even got a few hours despite the fact that his drive had kept me up for most of the night. I should've been looking to run out of the room at this point, but I was too dazed and mesmerized by blue eyes to do so.

I should've been disgusted, but for some odd reason, I wasn't.

"Why did you do it," I asked softly as I let my gaze drop on over to the part of his bare chest that I could see. The small layer of hair that gathered there was almost endearingly Jon.

"I don't know why... It's just that when you're around and you yell like that... Have you ever just lost control and all that you've held back is let out," his voice had said in a quiet tone. I think he had asked that more to himself then he did to me. I saw the way he sighed and looked to turn, pushing his cheek against the pillow. He had to be disappointed in himself for doing this again, but that wasn't what I was referring to surprisingly.

"Not that... I know you have a hard time explaining why you do this to me. I meant why did you attack Nick," I had clarified as I wanted to bring my sheet further above my chest. I almost had it settled at my neck.

"Chase.." He had spoke my name as if there was something that he didn't want to say. I had been a fool before not to question it, but I wasn't going to be one now.

"Tell me," I coaxed.

"Nick was a dumbass for the way that he turned you down. When I heard about what he said in the locker room, the moment I saw him in the parking lot... Let's just say I lost it," Jon confessed, already closing his eyes as if he was ashamed. I knew him too well to know he was sorry about Nick. He wasn't. He was obviously more sorry about giving into the locker room gossip and then acting on it.

Very violently too.

Jon's confession had made me see him in a new light. Not the light that was currently peaking through the curtains either. The past few weeks, I knew there had to have been rumors about he and I. It must have been driving him crazy not to give his input. Or stop them from talking about it. This was probably hard to forget just as it was for me.

Slowly, I shifted from where I laid and scooted forward against his hard body. His eyelids that had been lazily halfway had come more open in his own fit of surprise. I was in shock myself as I settled into his arms, nuzzling my head into his neck. Jon responded in kind, getting the idea as he wrapped his strong arms around my much smaller frame. The warmth that radiated from him was incredibly inviting as I sighed in bliss with a kiss to his neck.

I never thought I'd see the day of me actually cuddling into Jon's arms.


	24. Chapter 24

"That isn't fair and you know it," I pouted as I stared at the way Jon took a lick of his ice cream. My own had fallen to the ground and all I had in memory of it was the light vanilla that coated my tongue.

The chocolate that he lapped at looked too endearing to pass up on just the same. It was a small amount of torture that I had no idea how the hell to handle.

"It isn't my fault that you dropped yours," he clicked his teeth as he went ahead and took another lick. He was right, but at the same time, I still didn't see it as fair that the world decided to knock it out of my hand while his own was still holding ice cream.

"No, but now I don't have any and you look like that tastes amazing as fuck," I had been referring to the way that he lapped at it longer than usual. It was then that an idea suddenly came to my mind.

"If you want some, you could always just ask—" I hadn't heard his sentence fast enough since I slapped his cone out of his hand. The chocolate remains fell to the cement of the sidewalk and I could already feel his sudden annoyance with me.

"What is it with you and hitting things out of my hands," he asked with a chuckle, licking at his lips. I had noticed this easily, stopping from how we were walking so I could raise my hands and cup his stubbled cheeks.

His eyebrow raised in question, wondering what exactly my intentions were. I had missed out on the opportunity of having some of his ice cream, but I had planned on still getting a taste. I used my hands to bring him down as I stood on my tiptoes, bringing our lips together. With how we had been around each other the past few days, this shouldn't have been much of a stunning thing. Yet it was since it was Jon who had been initiating the kissing. Now that it was actually me, I didn't see him protesting at all. In fact, his arms wrapped around my waist to pull me against him. The chocolate that coated his lips hit my tongue as I traced it to slip into his mouth.

My arms had moved to go around his neck as he tilted his head to deepen it. I could tell how he held back from how my tongue met his and to stop him from doing so, I bit at his lip, wanting to awaken what he was pushing down. I must've made the right move since he grunted lowly for the both of us to hear and immediately began to wrestle my tongue for dominance. That's what I had been looking for, gently whimpering as I relished in how he took control.

He was the one to pull away from me, my own gasp coming as he did so. I managed yet another pout as I stared up at him, wanting to reconnect our lips once I got air, but he shook his head with a slight chuckle.

"Chase, you have no idea how bad I want to do that, but if we continue," he trailed off as he leaned downward and pressed his lips to my ear. This display of affection would've looked subtle to anyone passing by, but as soon as I heard his whispered, raspy voice, I knew better.

"I'll end up fucking you right here on the sidewalk and we don't need to be arrested for public indecency, now do we," such a statement from him that I knew he was dead serious about. Things like that were just things that made him utterly Jon.

When we had first met, I wouldn't have believed that I found these qualities to be attractive. Now all I found attractive was Jon and I was slowly coming around to the idea of being around him even more. Constantly at each other's throats as if we were cats and dogs, no one should've expected this to just suddenly happen. Though, I didn't know what we were exactly even if we spent time getting closer. The surprising thing was that Jon hadn't pushed for sex since the morning in the hotel room. The questions of what was going on didn't stop from neither Debra nor Joe, but I couldn't really give either of them much of an answer since I didn't understand what was happening myself. There should've been a greater amount of horror, but I was pushing forward with an amazing bundle of nerves. The kiss was literally the only close to being sexual thing that I had done with Jon and it lit my senses ablaze.

I guess we were both holding things a bit back.

Jon and I settled into the seats of his rental, leaning back into the leather as we sighed simultaneously. The walk had been his idea, fine with cheating a bit to have some ice cream. Although we both didn't get much, at least I found a lame excuse to attach our lips for some PDA. People may have groaned inwardly to see us as they passed by, but I didn't regret any of it.

In fact, I felt myself doing it again, leaning over the console to connect our mouths once more. I could feel his surprise in how he froze, but he quickly got the gist and pulled me into his lap. I let my fingertips trace the stubble gathered on his cheeks as I moaned softly against him. I didn't do it on purpose, but it only really occurred to me whenever I heard his stifled groan. Underneath me, I already felt it. I felt his arousal. I knew what kind of effect I had on him and here I was looking to have a make out session with him. I should've stopped myself, but I don't know why I found Jon to currently be indescribably intoxicating.

I shifted my hips slightly, the groan I earned making me do it again immediately. His large hands were at my hips in seconds, holding them still as he brought his head back to break the kiss. Just days ago he couldn't keep his hands off me and now I was the one initiating a damn kiss. I could understand his frustration, but I had my own just the same.

"What's wrong," I asked as I leaned a bit back, creating distance from our almost heaving chests.

"You have no idea how bad I want you right now," he breathed. Oh I knew. I could literally feel it.

"But?" I ran my hands through his hair, watching as he leaned his head back against the seat with a genuine breath of relaxation.

"But I put you through hell with Paul. And, I did the same shit when you confronted me about Nick. I just want to prove to you that I can control myself... I really don't want you to hate me," he said, running his eyes thoughtfully across my facial structure. I found his confession melting me from the inside.

"I could wait then. I'd like to see where this would go if sex was out of the equation," I replied as I never teared my gaze away from his orbs. He had me under his spell with those eyes.

But I meant what I said. We had been at each other's throats for a long time and then suddenly sex comes up quite a bit as well as someone breaking their leg and we're just supposed to stick to it? Even though I felt myself aching in between my legs, I nodded my head and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose.

He surprised me when he left me on his lap and reached for the glove compartment. From it, he pulled a journal, the cover being in black leather before he brought it in between us. I eyed it, curious as to what he was doing.

"This is mine. It sort of has a lot of sentimental value to me, but I've thought about this for a while... Chase, I want you to have it, but promise me you won't read it unless the two of us get serious," he had told me, slow, but there was no hesitance as he placed it into my hands.

I felt my heart almost skip a beat as I bit my bottom lip. I held it gently to me as I leaned forward and brushed my lips against his. It wasn't the sex I was craving, but it was extremely satisfying. It brought down the burning need to have him actually. Tamed the flames.

"I promise," I murmured, kissing along his jaw that looked to be tightening.

"Woman, you're going to kill me," he rasped, inhaling a deep breath as I let my mouth drop and linger in each open mouth pick to his neck.

I let a smile form upon my lips, close to smirking when I felt his hands roaming. It was adorable how he was holding so much back. Deciding to end his torture, I brought my mouth back onto his as I stirred roughly in his lap. In response, he let out a soft groan and a frustrated sigh once I moved back to the passenger seat, patting him on the very noticeable bulge in his pants.

I didn't think that either of us were unhappy with how we were going.


	25. Chapter 25

It had been weeks since the ice cream outing that Jon had took me out for. Ever since then, we had been almost joined at the hip, spending almost every moment that we had together. Ironically, we never spent the night though because of the promise I made to Jon. I understood he was attempting to get better at this little relationship of ours, but at the same time, I had been incredibly willing to have his rough touch. I just didn't make that audible towards him like I should have. I couldn't even find it in me to derail from body language, but at the same time, I wanted to show I had my own control that I was building myself. Learning more about him and his likes and dislikes when it came to the world had been quite the experience too. Hell, we spent most of our time talking on the phone, laughing and sharing stories.

The closer I got with Jon, the more I found myself not thinking about Nick's condition. He of course was going to be out of action because of his broken leg, but I didn't have it in me to just suspend Jon either. Honestly, in my own ego speaking, he had enough torture with keeping his hands to himself. Okay, maybe it wasn't a grand punishment considering he seemed pretty happy around me himself, but that didn't matter. I couldn't allow outside interferences make any differences in our relationship. Or whatever we currently were.

"Are you telling me all this because you're trying to make me jealous?" Jon's voice trailed through the phone, my smile forming as I sighed in bliss. It had been gravelly and raspy in all its glory.

"Why would I ever do that? I didn't know that telling you about a guy who winked at me back at the hotel would make you be jealous," I leaned back in my seat, eyes closing whenever I heard him scoff on the other end. My smirk had been in full force at this point, as I had continued on.

"Seems like you've got me completely misread, Jon. I would never do anything like that," I was enjoying the fuck out of this situation. We had different shows to make, really. I was on a plane while he was probably off on the road. I was hoping that he had taken precaution and was at least using the bluetooth, even as the experienced driver he was. But realistically, I knew he probably wasn't doing that. I was saving myself the scolding side by not asking him about it.

"Suddenly you're this innocent girl, huh?" He asked with a certain edge that I had heard before. It always had this overwhelming power to sent electricity straight up my spine.

"I've always been an innocent girl. I don't know what you're talking about," I answered.

"You know what I think?" He said smoothly.

"Mm?" It was just a soft noise that I let out for him to continue.

"I think you just told me about this guy because you miss me fucking you senseless," he growled out, making my eyes fly open. I was always caught off guard whenever he decided to talk like that. It was so lewd and explicit, yet I found it appetizing.

"I also think that you're feigning innocence to try and get a kick out of this, but I'm just warning you right now that there's been nothing innocent about the way your hands have been grabby lately. Trying to tell me otherwise whenever I had to tread back to my hotel room with a hard cock more than once wouldn't be smart," Jon had finished. I wish I could see his smug features and the way they had relaxed when he knew he had the upper hand. I wanted to talk back in the same nature for sure, but Colby wouldn't like that considering he was asleep right next to me.

Ain't that a bitch to get onto a plane and end up getting sat with Seth Rollins.

"Has it really been that way?" I was curious if he was lying or not. For all I knew, he could've been exaggerating. Or he was telling the truth and he had been left sexually frustrated just as I did with wetness.

"Are you really not going to believe me with all the heavy petting I've been letting you get away with?" He let out with a chuckle. Let's face it, we both had been left with nothing most nights since he always had to go or I always had to go.

"I don't know what's been coming over me. I have never really looked at sexual actions like this if I'm being honest," I confessed, cheeks going red when I saw Colby stir beside me. I hope he hadn't heard that.

"I'm unleashing your inner animal. By this revelation, I'm assuming I'm not the only one who's been left yearning," he had replied.

"You have no idea. It's been really uncomfortable trying to sleep like that," I said with a sigh.

"You've been trying to sleep like that? And here I thought I was unleashing your inner animal," his words made me blink as I stared at the back of the seat in front of me.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" I had questioned, awaiting his answer as I crossed my legs. I already felt it.

"That you've probably been soaking wet and you just go straight to sleep trying to shake off that horrendous ache," he clicked his teeth as he had finished off, making me wonder why he had put it that way.

"I sense that you don't approve of this for some reason," my legs smashing together for good measure.

"I obviously don't. You wanna know how I have been dealing with a hard twitching cock?" He had asked nonchalantly, that edge in his voice sounding really soothing.

My breath hitched and I heard him chuckle from the other side. He took my silence as my answer.

"The mere thought of being buried inside of you always could put me in the mood so that's what has made this difficult. Getting back to that hotel room only to look down and see a tent in my pants just after restraining myself from ravaging you has not been easy at all, Chase. But I'm not stupid about handling it. Maybe you really are innocent since you haven't attempted anything. Before you think I'm calling up ringrats to get off, I strip down to my boxers and I lay down only to find that I'm still rock hard. Every fucking time. So I reach down and I palm myself. Sometimes, I'm so frustrated about the situation that I try to leave my hand there until my erection decides to leave, but that never really works. That's when my boxers are pushed downwards, eyes closed as I push my head back into the pillow to relax. Relax as I wrap my hand around my cock and pump myself. Jerking off until I'm able to come with a groan of your name. The mess left on my stomach as I try to catch my breath reminds me that I'm still stuck without drilling you, but damn did it satisfy me... For only that moment," Jon had concluded, the images flashing in my mind as I imagined him laying back. It was... Erotic. And it turned me the fuck on for some reason. Why did it...?

"Why the hell haven't you fucked me yet," I had whined that a little louder than I wanted to, but I was listening to the heat pooling in my stomach more than I was to trying to look fine in front of everyone. I just wasn't though. Colby stared straight at me like I was possessed though. Great. He woke up.

"In due time, babe, in due time. Until then, you might want to start using your fingers. I'll see you," he had an amused tone.

The asshole.

We said our goodbyes and I brought my phone into my pocket. When I turned, I was met with Colby's irritated facial expression looking forward.

"Unbelievable," he muttered, making me roll my eyes.

"How much did you hear of that?" I asked.

"Since you and I are forced to sit together so close, I now know more about Jon and what he does when he goes to his hotel room after spending the day with you than I would like to. And you want him to fuck you already," Colby said disgusted as he shook his head.

"If you wouldn't have woke up, this wouldn't be a problem now would it," I had mused, laughing gently whenever he scoffed.

"You two have gotten closer even after I warned you to be careful," he flatly said.

"Be careful about Paul you mean," I had responded easily. Colby was acting weird.

"No, I meant be careful around Jon. The guy is one of my closest friends, but I'm telling you right now Chasity that he's not the guy you want to associate yourself with. Especially not date him," he had leaned back again, looking to go back to sleep.

"He's been lovable lately. Jon is willing to prove himself to me—"

"Prove himself to you after the countless cases of rape?" Colby had cut me off, making my eyes widen at how blunt he had been.

"How the fuck did you know about that?" With our current conversation going off track, it made it easier to just be mad at Colby. But he wasn't having it.

"Don't try and change the subject. I know it happened because I'm not stupid. Don't worry, Jon didn't tell me, I figured it out. Anyways, he's trying to prove himself because he feels guilty, right?" I saw what he was doing. It wasn't going to work.

"Yes. He's redeeming himself," I had spoke with an edge. And not the seductive edge that Jon's rasp had. But the pissed off edge that could cut through like a knife.

"Or he's looking to get back into your pants permanently. Who knows, maybe he'll fuck you for a couple years at most and then end up getting bored. I see this as meaningless infatuation that he won't be able to get over until it runs its course," Colby had added on. I wanted to slap the taste out of his mouth.

"You're wrong. Jon is trying and it's not just about sex. I just feel it in me that he's a good man... Besides the rape... He's looking for redemption. I just don't think he'd hurt me like that," I had unwillingly told him. In all honesty, I wanted to stop this conversation altogether already. It was giving me a certain amount of anxiety at this point.

"Maybe he won't hurt you, but he will sure as hell hurt others," he had stretched it out, taking his time in his answers. He knew he was getting to me.

"Enough. You don't have to suddenly bring Nick into this like it'll help you in your case. Jon is a good man. I know he's done wrong, but I know that he could do so much right," I had crossed my arms, looking to end the discussion right there, but he laughed and looked at me.

"He's got you so wrapped around his finger it's fucking ridiculous. You don't even see what's right in front of you and I feel sorry for you. Then again, I always have been able to catch things before anyone else," he shrugged, nonchalantly proclaiming his superior intellect. Fucker.

"Then why don't you enlighten me on what the fuck is in front of me," I had been done with his games at this point. I just wanted to have him speak to me like an actual human being rather than in vague sentences.

"Chasity, how could you be so naive? Nick is obviously one of your interests if I'm correct, the locker room gossip doesn't lie. And I could see that Jon is supposedly trying, right? All of a sudden, Jon attacks Nick. I'm sure Jon gave you a bullshit explanation about the situation too as to why he did it," Colby laughed again, close to cackling if we hadn't kept our voices so low. No one needed to hear this.

"I'm not following what you're trying to accomplish here." I wished I could've just stood up, but the only place I could've gone was the bathroom. Stupid planes.

"Whatever Jon's bullshit explanation was, it probably was accurate. But you, being the innocent doll that you are, probably didn't ask him a question about why Nick rejected you for no apparent reason." Colby made a 'hmm' sound as if the whole point of this was making sense, but I didn't want to believe it. I was already catching his gist.

When I answered in silence, he continued.

"Nick has been pursuing you for quite some time and suddenly he rejects you to where Jon could swoop in and save the day?" Colby shut his eyes now. I knew he was already going to doze off.

"I don't think it would take a rocket science to put this together, Chasity. You're welcome by the way," he trailed off, breathing evenly as I stared at the seat in front of me.

I couldn't believe it. I had a ghostly expression on my features at this point because I didn't want it to sink in, but it did.

Nick didn't want to be my boyfriend... And Jon had something to do with it.


	26. Chapter 26

The door came open to reveal a rather giddy Jon, making his entrance with his leather jacket hung over his shoulder. His white T-shirt clung against his torso, outlining his muscles perfectly as he sighed in bliss looking over to me. There was a certain happiness about him that had formed from the moment I had brought myself into his arms after another physical experience with him. The night that he attacked Nick, I had willingly brought myself into Jon's arms without hesitation and that's where his jovial attitude became more persistent. It was like he became a totally different person and it warmed my heart to know that it was me who made that totally different person appear. There was a change in how he talked to me and I saw that easy going guy in the car again when it came to talking to Joe. Jon was just someone who knew he was rough around the edges and would immediately make up for it by being his easy going self. I had been treated to see this side for probably almost a month and there was zero contract hanging over our heads.

But how could I believe in any of that so called good whenever all he does is lie.

"Hey, darlin'." He walked on over, dropping his jacket onto the bed as he neared me, looking to cup my cheeks. As soon as I felt his hands on me, I took a step back, arms crossed firmly against my chest.

"What's wrong?" He asked with a raise of his eyebrow before he sat onto the edge of the bed, curiously looking up at me. There was something about those steel orbs that stared at me that made it harder to be angry with him. That short time we spent together was making this situation difficult. I didn't want to be mad, but I needed to know what he did and why the hell he did it.

"Are you mad about how I talked to you on the phone?" Jon had questioned with a frown, sighing deeply as he ran his hands through the light mess of curls on his head. He had gotten a haircut to tame it down. Looked a bit more clean, but he always did let his scruff grow more as well as his chest hair with this haircut of his. Couldn't admit to myself how much it really made me find him endearing.

"I'm sorry, Chase. I shouldn't have been so fucking forward. I shouldn't have went as far as I did, I guess I just got caught up in how we haven't gone without anything and I let myself just start to ramble—"

"No, Jon, no. That's not what's wrong... Really," I had cut him off, making sure to remain solemn as I stared at him.

"Then.. What's on your mind?" He asked curiously, blinking gently as he held his breath.

This was it. The moment of truth. All my questions would be answered and I hoped that they would be honest.

"I know about Nick," I said flatly, watching his features to see if I could garner any reaction from him. To no avail, he didn't so much as flinch as he simply let his half smile shine through.

"I already told you about what I did. I attacked him. It was me. Is that really what this is about?" He gave a brief chuckle as he stood from the bed, stepping over to me to close our distance. His hands succeeded this time in cupping my cheeks.

"No. It's not," I uttered, already being put under his spell as he ran his thumb along my cheekbone.

"I don't follow," he had retorted, head tilting in his own confusion. I could tell that he was trying to figure out what I was doing.

"I know that you attacked Nick because you claimed that he was an idiot for hurting me, right?" That was it. I heard Jon's breath pattern change for a moment and I knew right there that he didn't want to talk about that.

"Right," he replied, hands slowly sinking down to his sides as he came into realization of what was going on.

"But... I want to know why he hurt me. Don't you think that I deserve that?" This time, Jon sunk down into the bed once more when I asked that, gulping silently but not too quiet of where I couldn't hear it.

"Yes," he answered lowly. There was no playing games. Jon knew that I already knew.

"Then why didn't you tell me that you interfered? Why the fuck didn't you tell me what you did for Nick to suddenly hate me?" I snapped, already letting out the anger that I thought dimmed after I found his eyes.

"Chase..." He muttered, clearly searching for words.

"Don't. Just tell me what you did," I had demanded at this point. I just wanted to know the truth for once. Everyone had been lying over and over again to me to where I would eventually find out, but this time, I didn't feel like going through another huge mess in order to find out something that I should've been informed about immediately.

"... I heard that Nick wanted a relationship with you and I had a talk with him about it... I told him that if you and him were to date, I would smash his face in with a glass bottle," he confessed. No wonder he was hesitant. When people said things like this, you could tell if they were joking and you wouldn't help but to laugh. But the way Jon said it... He was dead serious.

"And he just believed your threat?" I chastised, close to just walking out the door. Something still didn't add up. For one, Nick didn't see like one to just back away.

"No. He didn't. I then told him that I'd come after you instead. That time he believed me. After a brief discussion of me convincing him that he couldn't possibly be with you every second to protect you, he gave up and told me that you two would never date if it meant you were safe." Jon's head bowed as he looked at the floor, obviously not wanting to face me. I could tell why he didn't want to tell me anything now. It was fully understood because he had brought me into it just to get his way.

"Are you fucking serious? Then why the hell would you attack him?" I exclaimed, suddenly disgusted I was standing in the same room as him. I wanted to straight up bolt out of the door and keep him out of my life for good. What was stopping me was the distress on his facial features. I had never seen something more sad that I wanted to rectify immediately.

"He was going to your office. He found out that I made an empty threat.. He knew I'd never hurt you. So when he went to look for you, I lost it. I beat the crap out of him in the parking lot out of pure rage which I knew wasn't the right thing to do... But I'm not sorry about it. I went straight to the hotel after calling up a taxi since Colby had already left and I knew that Roman would question the bruises on my knuckles," he had rubbed at the back of his neck as he finished. It was one of the things he did whenever he was nervous.

"I didn't see any of you staying with me coming though, Chase. I kept thinking that you were going to find out, he was going to snitch on me, and then you'd be done with me. So when you showed up at my hotel room, I saw it as the last time I would ever sleep with so I took it. When morning came, I wasn't exactly lying. I was pissed off that he rejected you in such a bitch fucking way, but it was mainly me being... Jealous... I fucking guess." Jon stood from where he was, looking to where he had discarded his jacket. In his pursuit to grab the leather, I closed my eyes and shook my head, blinking away tears.

"I haven't talked to Nick once. Even if he had snitched on you, I probably wouldn't have believed him," I had said, my own eyes dropping to the carpet. That caught his attention, his shoulders squaring as he had put on his jacket. He was preparing for me to kick him out for sure.

"Why wouldn't you have believed him?" He questioned, curiously stepping forward.

"Because of that night. For some reason, I would've trusted your word over his. But you know what, you've lost that trust. I'm fucking done trusting you, Jon. All you do is fucking lie to me," I looked at him, facial structure strained in both anger and frustration. To think that I had Debra travel with Joe for the time being made me furious. I needed her as selfish as it sounded.

"I'm not trying to lie to you, God damn it. You don't understand how fucking much you mean to me," he had said, his own anger being evident now. His voice had only raised slightly, so I knew he was holding himself back.

"If I meant anything to you, you'd just tell me the truth instead of making me run around in a maze trying to chase it down. It's like you want me to fucking hate you—"

"No fuck that, I don't want you to hate me, I want you to..." His voice caught, his sentence dying out before he just stopped himself. It was the same conflict he had in his eyes whenever he almost blurted something out to me the day Joe came around the first time.

"What do you want me to do, huh? Are you going to tell me? Or are you going to lie to me again?" My arms dropped to my sides as I gulped back the lump forming. This was harder than I thought it was going to be.

"You're right. I fucked up a lot around you. I'm sorry. Anything you want to know, I'll tell you. It's just this I swear has to do with me and not with you so I would rather just keep it to myself," he had avoided the question, sighing deeply as he wrapped his arms around me.

I wanted so bad to cry into his chest and just let the pain out, but I couldn't help but wonder something that had been racking at my brain. If he wanted to keep this certain thing to himself, then I had to respect that. But... There was something else that was bothering me that I just couldn't ignore. And he did say anything..

".. What was in the envelope?" I asked, finally building up the nerve to just let it out. My own arms had betrayed me and wrapped around his waist whenever he had brought his around me.

Then, Jon became the Jon I used to know.

He backed away from me and looked at me dumbfounded. For a moment, he looked like he was going to tell me, but that didn't last long since his next expression was anger.

"Of all the fucking things, you ask me about that?" He snarled, making me take a step away from him in reaction. I didn't know what suddenly made him so furious. Moments ago it had been me who was furious and not him. Now I was the one retreating.

"You said you'd tell me about anything." I quipped back, biting at my lip whenever he suddenly brought his face down to level with mine, fury radiating in his eyes.

"Why does everyone want to fucking know what was in that envelope? It's no one's business but mine. I don't care who the fuck you are, that's for only Paul and I to know," he warned backing up from me when I cringed at his voice. It was scary when it was loud... But I can't tell you how frightened I was hearing it so low and dark.

"Get out," I had said softly. I didn't see any point in arguing with him further. I just knew from this that he was still the Jon I hated. Nothing had changed.

It looked like I struck a nerve when I said that in his facial structure. Just like that, he went from angry to confused. It was almost as if he was searching for my forgiveness, but I was already done with it.

"What?" He had asked, an incredulous look hitting.

"I said to get out," my voice had squeaked. It was close to cracking, but I didn't want to break down in front of him. Crying would make it worse. I knew he didn't like me crying.

"Chase..."

"Get the fuck out!" I yelled with everything in me, collecting myself quickly as I grabbed the nearest object and flung it across the room. The remote to the TV hit at the wall. I had been aiming for Jon but he ducked.

Before I knew it, he stayed where he was, shaking his head. He was going to protest, but I grabbed my bag and took out the journal that he gave me. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion, but once I yelled to get out again, I think he started to get the idea. He was out of the room in seconds with me following closely behind. I threw the journal as hard as I could at the back of his head before slamming the door. I wanted nothing to do with him. He could keep his stupid gift. Who knew? Maybe it was just full of lies like the way he was.

The thing that sucked the most however about that...

Was the fact that I never read the journal. I kept my promise to him. I was the one who could be trusted.

But he wasn't.


	27. Chapter 27

I wouldn't be able to tell you how heartbroken I felt to have lost Jon because I couldn't even decipher a correct measurement myself. It was becoming hard to really decipher anything about myself because in our short time together, Jon had blinded me from something that should've been sitting there in plain sight. I damn well threw myself onto him at times too, recalling how I shifted my hips against the hardening member I felt underneath me. The growing member that I patted away at through his clothes because of how irresistible I was beginning to find him, so easily too. I had been so willing to give myself up to him, having sex for the first time where I truly wanted every bit of it. However, that's not what made this whole situation agonizing; what made it agonizing was the feelings I was developing as well as the dreams that decided to creep in. One second they'd be these romantic, cheesy dates while in the next I'd be underneath his hard body. The dreams that had been trying to show me how much I wanted Jon were nerve racking, but I didn't have it in me to forgive him.

The stipulation of the contract of course had been compromised since I wormed my way out of it a little less than a week away from its time restraint, but it was as if Jon had disappeared into thin air. Fans chanted Ambrose and I knew he had to be out there in the ring, our contact ceasing entirely since the night in the hotel room. But I forced myself to keep the monitor off, knowing that if I saw him on screen I'd call him that night and be a mess. Which, unfortunately, would look like I was the one who did something wrong whenever it was him who continuously lied to me. He should've been the one who was calling me, making a million excuses as to why I should be in his arms instead of alone. It was Jon who should've been pounding down my door, demanding to speak to me in his own fit of animosity. Maybe it was the increasing fury that I felt in my veins, but I missed the fuck out of the musk mixed with nicotine scent that was just so oddly him. Or maybe, just maybe, I wanted him to do all these things because I wanted to know he was just as miserable as I was.

Yet, he hadn't been near me and I hadn't really seen him for weeks, creating match cards with his name while reading scripts. I never watched the product anymore, my mind being too gloomy as my heart told me that Jon would appear on the ramp at any moment. We hadn't really labeled ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend during our closeness, but this whole thing still hurt and boy did it fucking burn. I wish I would've been more disgusted by him, but he was making me forget all the lies by staying away from me, my memory changing things so he wouldn't look like the bad guy. But he was the bad guy here, toying with me every chance that he got and then blowing up on me as if I was supposed to know that there's something awfully touchy about an envelope. I had to ask him though since it had been boggling my mind what Jon could possibly care about within the world to harass me to the point of where I cried to myself. He just had to really be invested in whatever it was since he turned down Paul's offers more than once and even didn't give a single shit about being fired. Then again, he would just be able to join the indies once more and make another famous run as Jon Moxley, possibly with Sami Callihan, recent release.

"You look like you're thinking really hard there."

I was broken from the condescending thoughts of mine whenever I heard a voice come from behind me and scare the living shit out of me. After I jumped slightly and turned around, I found the owner of said voice. Nick had his blond hair tied back, smile evident as his jaw remained as firm and as clean cut as ever. Actually, there was very little stubble that I couldn't help but smile gently towards. Speaking of people I haven't seen...

"It's been a rough couple of months, what can I say," I joked, allowing him to walk with me in my slow stroll from the lobby. He kept up nicely, crutches barely handicapping him to which I was grateful because I usually walked faster than a rabbit in a race.

"I can agree with you there. Here's an idea, I can give you my carefree mind and you can give me your legs," he replied, pressing the number for the both of us whenever we had entered the elevator. I learned against the wall, sighing happily since I was going to come back to Debra. She and I had been rooming again and I broke, telling her everything that I knew. She was very angry with Joe...

"I don't know, I've been told I have pretty nice legs," I managed to say, grin still apparent.

"Why do you think I want them?" We both laughed. A laugh that I very much needed since forever ago. It felt good, yet I felt guilty for not visiting him in the hospital nor calling him to talk about how Jon forced him to stay away from me.

"It's been a while," I blurted after our short silence. He looked at me, nodding his head as his smile faded into a more thoughtful thin line.

"Yeah, it really has. I wanted to call you but..." He trailed off, a deep sigh coming off his lips. "I acted like a dick whenever we last spoke so I didn't think you would answer."

It wasn't Nick who should've felt like a dick.

"I should've been the one to call you, actually. I found out what Jon did. I feel so fucking stupid honestly, but I didn't really think of calling you because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself... But really, I'm very sorry, Nick. I really am," I ended, the elevator doors coming open.

We both walked through, heading down the hallway.

"I didn't want to say anything because Jon had been away from you. I was going to tell you, but I was sort of attacked... Then I heard that you and Jon were practically joined at the hip and it just shook me," he had let out, eyes darting down to the carpeted floor.

I could see where he was coming from. If I had something happen to me and I just happened to hear that Jon was involved with another woman... Nick... I meant Nick. Not Jon. Or so I kept telling myself I meant Nick.

"It's okay. I shouldn't have trusted him in the first place. Should've been there as soon as you woke up in the hospital too," I clarified, gulping back the guilt. At least we got stuff off our chests.

"You'd be a sight for sore eyes for damn sure. Sorry that you two didn't work out," he genuinely told me, but I knew a part of him despised Jon for numerous reasons.

"Me too," I mumbled more to myself than I did to him. I don't think really heard me, but it was fine, it was more meant for me than anything. As we neared my hotel room, I slid the keycard in, bringing my hand to the handle before I looked at Nick.

"It was great seeing you again," I said, liking how he rested on his good leg. I wondered why he was travelling with us whenever he was hurt. Thinking nothing of it, I brushed it off and awaited his goodbye.

"Agreed. Let's talk more soon, alright?" He replied. Before I knew it, he moved, slightly really, but he leaned his mouth down to press a peck to mine. I felt my cheeks heat, not reacting nor moving, but closing my eyes to accept the chaste, yet out of nowhere, kiss.

"Sooner," I responded as he already began to leave, throwing a smile back at me once he had his rhythm in moving in those crutches. Holy hell... I suddenly felt like I needed those crutches since I felt my legs go pretty wobbly.

I had felt this same feeling before in a metaphorical aspect whenever I initiated kisses with Jon. I literally had the feeling however whenever Jon decided to thoroughly bury himself over and over into me. Prick.

Pushing the door open with my grin growing gradually, my eyes had been closed in my own jovial mood. That had been until I opened them...

"What the fuck?!" I exclaimed in question, jumping back whenever I had seen Joe and Debra playing tonsil hockey. They had been holding each other closely, Joe's arms wrapped around her midsection. Though... After my big yell, they separated immediately as if I was a dad catching his sixteen year old daughter with a boy.

Joe fumbled for his shirt that had been tossed over the chair, pulling it onto him as he was already beginning to leave. He got as far as the door before he apologetically stopped and looked towards me. "I think she can explain for the both of us... Sorry for the scare, Chasity."

I felt amused as fuck as Joe nodded his head towards me and then looked over to Debra with a thoughtful smile. "I'll see you tomorrow," he promised with a wink before he left out the door.

When the door closed, my arms crossed my chest, looking over to Debra who's caramel skin had tinted pink at her cheeks in embarrassment. I obviously interrupted something that was getting heated really quick. I was actually thankful that I had been earlier since I could've walked in on the two fornicating.

"Oh, I'll never speak to Joe again, Chasity, I promise," I mocked in my best impression. She had quite the words to say about him over the passed few weeks and all of a sudden she was here with him ready to strip?

"I was weak... He knew I was ignoring him and we started talking, I started yelling, he kissed me, and then one thing led to another," she confessed, combing her fingers through her hair. I found it adorable.

I didn't blame Joe for a lot of the stuff that happened because all he really did was try to protect his family. He didn't know about Jon attacking Nick. Joe was severely innocent here, not completely, but severely. But Debra had been persistent that since he was still involved, she wasn't going to deal with his deceptive ass. I was very glad that she changed her mind. I swooned purposely, falling back onto the bed with my legs spreading a bit. I had been wearing a pair of jeans so she wouldn't have seen anything.

"Uh... Joe... Please. Please fuck me," I moaned haphazardly, arching my back before she came over and smacked me over the head.

"I don't appreciate this whenever I'm all hot and bothered," she grumbled, falling back to the other side. She leaned onto her hand as she took a look at me.

"You're being playful all of a sudden though... Jon didn't fuck you again did he?" She asked in a snarl, clearly hating him with every fiber in her being just as I did.

"Why the hell would I be playful over that?" I shot back. Though... Now that the image was in my mind...

I remember how he described what he did whenever he was yearning for me with a hard cock. Something that I never was able to see, but by the way he controlled things in bed all those countless other times, he never was one to just be okay with lasting a short amount of time. So I saw him, laying back in a dark room where the white sheets of the mattress contrasted to his body as he began thinking about me and how I had touched at him through his clothes. I could see him now, his frustrated hand dropping down to cup himself as he growled, trying to keep himself under control. But he knows that's not possible and as his eyes look downward, he can still see through the dim setting that he has an erection trying to tear through his boxers' material. He can't handle it, orbs closing as he takes a breath and drags the fabric down to free himself, air surrounding his throbbing dick. His hand is reluctant because he wants it to be my hand actually, wants my mouth to be apart of this too. But he makes due, fingers joining fingers as he brings them around his thick length, grip tight as he stifles a grunt.

His eyes had been closed because he wants to see me in his imagination, imagining as he plunges his dick in and out of me mercilessly. This gives him motivation, a grand amount of motivation actually to start to pump his hand. White liquid leaks from the tip as he throws his head back in ecstacy, groaning softly as he jerks himself off faster, teeth gritting as he tries to hold back his noise. But yet again, he fails, moaning loudly as he lets his hand twist over his rod, his hips involuntarily raising. He bursts after his balls draw up, calling my name as he erupts, most landing on his stomach as he pants and strokes himself at a gradually slowing pace. Shit, I didn't have to watch him, I wanted to, it was formed in my mind so perfectly in all its explicit imagery that I wouldn't dare to change. Just like that, I felt the coil in my stomach, wetness beginning to seep over my underwear in which I knew was going to be drenched because of the damn tight jeans. So turned on, imagining his gritty voice say my name yet again.

"Chasity," he soothes, calling me perfectly. But... He never calls me Chasity. What the hell.

"Chasity!" Debra yelled, snapping her fingers as I blinked for a moment. I had been day dreaming, zoning out how Debra explained how much she hated Jon. She must've been talking for a while before she realized my head was lost in the clouds.

"The fuck was that? What happened before you got here? First you're all giddy as shit and now you're almost drooling," she said with a shake of her head. If only she had knew..

"Uh... Nick walked me back to the room," I spoke slowly, looking towards her to show I was paying attention this time.

"The same guy who was put into the hospital by the asshole's hands?" She spoked incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, that guy," I refrained from rolling my eyes. I didn't want her to speak badly about Jon because I was having enough bad thoughts about him. It was an odd thing to try and protect someone who only hurt you constantly.

"He looked like he could be cute if he wasn't close to unconscious so... You going to call him?" She asked, a smile playing onto her lips.

"You think that I should call him?" I blinked, dumbfounded really. I didn't really believe it. Not much anyway.

"Hell yeah. You've been a mess since this whole situation with all these pricks, so why not date the one guy that had pursued you and wanted you genuinely. He's hot, he's sweet, just go with him," Debra winked. In a way, I think she felt a little more fond of men because of Joe. To which I would someday thank for because of what was to come.

"I don't know if I'm ready for that," I softly said, eyes shutting. Recalling just how distracted I had been minutes ago, it was hard to imagine that I would be able to focus solely on Nick. Jon had potentially wormed his way into my memory permanently and on a daily basis as well. Possibly even hourly if we were talking active imagination and vivid imagery.

"Chasity, I have heard you cry more than you ever have.. You weren't even this upset whenever you and Jason ended. But you made it through. And you'll make it through again. I know that you will. The first step though.." She reached for the hotel phone, bringing it over to where I was laying.

"The first step is putting yourself out there. The worst he could do is say no," she finished with enthusiasm. Her hands ran through her long hair before she fell back to her bed, arms curling around her pillow as she sighed in bliss. Against better judgment, I thought it was about her and Joe patching up things, but I would later find out that it was her just being happy because she knew I was going to call Nick. Okay, maybe a part of it had to do with a Samoan badass with tattoos all over his muscles.

Dialing slowly, I pushed all thoughts that I was having about Jon out of my mind completely in order to make it through this call. I was going to need all the will power I could conjure up at this point because accidentally saying someone else's name would definitely call for a huge sign of absolute rejection. That was what I feared, even if I knew that Jon wasn't going to interfere with Nick's decision this time. Jon actually wasn't going to interfere with anything in my life and I had to accept that since he was a liar anyway who would probably continue to lie to me to possibly even save his own ass. Did I really need that kind of baggage to always come second to wrestling and whatever the fuck was in a stupid envelope?

"Hello?" Nick's voice...

"Hey there... There's something I want to ask you."


	28. Chapter 28

"I can't believe he got you that," Debra blurted, both envious and in awe as her eyes were glued to the diamond two month anniversary gift about my neck.

Two months.

It had been two months that Nick and I had been together and they had been a whirl. That was meant entirely in a good sense since he seemed to only ever want to pamper me every chance that he got, even if he was stuck on a pair of crutches for the most part. It never did change anything though, just my pace if I was walking too fast. I had suggested to get him a wheelchair at one point and he chuckled saying it was fine by him and as annoying as the crutches were, he had too much pride. Pride had always really been a damned thing, that much I can agree with just about anyone on the planet since too much of it made people to stupid things. For one, pride made me book matches on the fly whenever a worker happened to piss me off. It was easier to just do it that way because on camera, I had rewatched some of the stuff and it turned out that I was stiff as fuck. No wonder he who shall not be named had been following orders from Paul to simply break me.

It worked, my acting always better whenever I was able to turn on the raging emotions that I still felt for Paul's goddamn existence. The funny thing was that he had no idea that I knew about him threatening the former members of the Shield and it made me develop pride. Pride, there it was again. It liked to take hold of the best people and turn them into monsters.

Speaking of former members of the Shield, within two months, Joe was around more. He managed to sweep Debra off her feet more than once and I wasn't surprised whenever he asked her to travel more with him. I didn't mind it. Sure that meant that Debra and I couldn't share rooms anymore, but it did also give me time to spend with Nick. It was something that I had to thank Joe for. Which I had more of an opportunity to do too since Joe and I were becoming quick friends, closer than I ever thought we could be. He was just such a happy man considering the divorce that ensued that left him with a daughter he was never around for. It saddened me deeply, but there was not much I could do since the company was rather high on Roman Reigns.

Colby was an incessant little monster that liked to bug the fuck out of me even whenever I was sitting in the office. He made it his duty to annoy me and it was so odd that we became friends too. Those friends that everyone knows that bicker quite often but even then, they laugh together at crude inside jokes no matter how blunt. I was able to learn that Colby was looking to go home soon and see his family, wanting me to come along. Although I did want to, I had a show to book the following night so doing that on a plane ride would be unprofessional. But, Colby still stuck by my side when I told him I couldn't, understanding completely while we went straight back to arguing. He was always such a smartass actually, making me roll my eyes countless times. Yet, I wouldn't have him any other way.

Then... There was Jon. Surprisingly, Jon disappeared into thin air. I didn't see him in the parking lot and I didn't see him in the hallways. You would think that I would've seen him in matches, but I never watched his matches actually. Getting over him months ago wasn't easy so I wasn't going to start turning on the monitor. I just wrote his match cards and they'd post them up on the bulletin. The storyline we had was wiped from existence too, people just accepting the fact that we never interacted anymore. Despite the overwhelmingly visible chemistry we once had for the screen and the audience, it just didn't work if one of us happened to be a lying, conniving son of a bitch.

But I digress.

"I can't believe it either... He's good to me. Too good to me at times," I said, looking down at the necklace for a moment before I looked at Debra. I gave her the best smile I could manage, but she blinked and shook her head.

"Okay, what's wrong?" She asked, her expression changing to a knowing one. Just like Debra to always read me like a book. However, I stuck to what I knew and just raised an eyebrow in feigned confusion.

"What are you talking about?" I replied in question, trying to knit my eyebrows together as I stared forward at her.

"You should be incredibly happy that Nick got you this for your two month anniversary, yet, you're not. You gave me that smile that's happy yet... Sad," she concluded, pushing strands out of her face. Well.. She wasn't wrong about it.

"It's stupid..." I whispered, looking to my hands as I played with my thumbs back and forth.

"It's not stupid if it's upsetting you. Talk to me," she coaxed.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up from my thumbs and managed to catch her gaze straight in her eyes.

"I... I don't know what I want from this relationship. Like, I'm happy that we're together, don't get me wrong, but I don't know where it's going. I actually don't know if I want it to go anywhere either," I had confessed lowly.

"Are you afraid of it going anywhere?" She asked gently.

"Sort of. What if we end up getting even more serious and I find out he's just another lying prick..."

"First off, Nick is nothing like Jon so don't try to compare the two. You just gotta have faith, honey. It sucks, but you won't know unless you try to keep this altogether."

She was right, incredibly so.

So... Faith huh?


	29. Chapter 29

"The entire time..." I repeated shakily, looking at Nick through glassy eyes.

We had made it together for over half a year and I was beginning to wonder if nothing could separate us. It was a relationship that I was truly enjoying. Plus, we took things incredibly slow. We had only slept together last week actually, for the very first time.

It was sweet and sensual, different than what I had experienced with Jon. Slow was good since it gave me time to forget his burning touch and have an ability to get used to Nick's gentle fingertips. In a way, the two could be seen as polar opposites, one of them driven by sex while the other was driven by what seemed to be love. I fell in love with Nick after the third month of being together, but we didn't say it to one another until midway into the fourth month.

I remember an instance where Colby was teasing the hell out of me about it, ruffling my hair whenever he managed to get me to pronounce my love for Nick. He then said I wasn't being naive anymore and that he was proud of me for finally picking a guy that wasn't going to hurt me.

After all Colby and I went through, I shouldn't have been that proud to have had his encouraging words. I finally wasn't some kind of disappointment in the asshole's eyes and gradually, he started treating me like more of his friend rather than bicker with me on purpose. I mean, don't get me wrong, he still has his smartass moments that make me want to punch him in the teeth, but that's besides the fact. If either of us were in a tight situation, we'd help each other out in a heart beat. That's how it worked and I couldn't be anymore grateful for it.

Joe and Debra didn't distance themselves from me this entire six months. They stuck by my side, being the perfect relationship to double date with. Granted, sometimes seeing the two start to make out is an eye roller, but I always recall that it's not horrible. Joe couldn't have been a nicer guy. It's like he had it encrypted into his genes when he was younger. That kind of thought was not even the slightest of the rail of complete and utter honesty. Joe happened to be there for one of my nightmares since Debra had to fly home to see her family. She invited Joe, but he declined since he had shows to work sadly. I had the same case, not okay with working on the phone after so much was put into trying to make me a great heel on camera.

So we were in a hotel room together. This should worry most people, but we had separate beds and Nick hardly ever shared a hotel room with me for some odd reason. We played cards until we passed out, laughing and having a good time enjoying one another's company.

That was until sleep came over us.

The dream had been vivid, a mystery man's body holding me down. He wasn't heavy, he wasn't crushing me, but his hand came over my mouth and I tried to scream for help, but I couldn't. My whole body felt like it was sinking into the bed beneath, every sound stolen from me. Now, I tried to give the man a name, but that didn't work. He wore a mask, but I kept thinking to myself that it was Jon. It just had to be. Who else would be terrorizing my nightmare?

When I managed to move away, I woke myself up, breathing heavy and looked to Joe's sleeping form. It was enough assurance to stare at the ceiling for a while. Then it happened again. I fell asleep without even realizing how tired I really was and the man was back in my bed. I gained enough strength then to remove the mask and to my surprise, it wasn't Jon's rugged features that I was met with. No, it was Nick's clean shaven, chiseled mug that I was greeted with and I finally was able to make a noise. I screamed as loud as I could, awaking Joe across from me.

I was still asleep, but Joe went to me and coaxed me awake, even held me until my breathing went back to normal. He didn't have to. He could've just left me on the bed, but he refused to leave my side until I was okay. I told him what the nightmare was after our three AM conversation that we had going on, making his steel eyes widen in the dark. They almost glowed in the opaque. Joe offered for me to sleep in the bed with him to which I was too shaken up to refuse. I ended up in his arms, falling asleep quickly and luckily, dreamless until we woke up hours later.

That night was surreal and I questioned it a lot to what it meant or if it meant anything at all. Many say that dreams are what your heart truly wants, while others say they're really just nonsense that you could pull ideas from. Me, I just was trying to figure out why Nick was the source of my nightmare. Was my subconscious attempting to tell me something? Did I think that Nick was holding me down?

The confusion lasted for about a week when I concluded that I was just being delusional. We had gone so long without problems, so why try to make one out of a dream? I did tell Nick I had a nightmare and Joe held me the rest of the night, and he straight away believed me. Nick trusted me with everything that he had. As I did he. Joe and I told Debra together, not wanting things to be awkward and she didn't get angry either or make horrid accusations that we did more than sleep. It was a strictly platonic love that I had for Joe and it was mutual between us. Debra understood that. She knew there was no reason to get angry when she could trust that absolutely nothing happened. Besides, if something did, I have this bad habit of burying guilt until I can't take it anymore. She wished later on that she had seen the signs of guilt faster... But that's not something you need to worry about... Yet.

"Did I stutter? No I didn't. I cheated on you the entire time," Nick ground out, suddenly becoming unrecognizable to me as I stayed frozen where I was.

This couldn't have been happening... We were so happy and we had accepted one another greatly.

"But... Why?" I asked, tears running freely down my cheeks. It didn't make sense to me. He had been making advances for as long as I could remember only to cheat on me? Something about this didn't add up.

"Because Chasity, you were the hard ass of the office. The boss that everyone wants to screw, but no one could have her. So I, being the genius that I am, decided I was going to be the one to get through to you, no matter what it took. Granted, it took way longer than I thought it would, but when I finally had you in bed last week, I knew it was time to call this thing of ours off.

I mean come on. You made me work like a dog for it. I bought you expensive gifts with how desperate I was getting. I even began to wonder if us being married was what it was going to take and I felt like just giving up, but then, you gave me the hope I needed. You were a good lay, babe. Great even. I'm just not a one gal kind of guy. I have to have sex with all the women that happen to be on my radar. I'm just more discreet about it," he concluded, smirking at me in the most sickest of ways. His confession made me want to vomit. It made my stomach turn as I looked at him through long lashes. I didn't know what to say. My heart collapsed in on itself since I was enamored with this man and he didn't even feel the same way the entire time?

"Get your shit and get out of my hotel room. I got a red head coming over and I don't need her to see a crying blonde ex. It kinda ruins the mood," he uttered, already rolling my suitcase to me.

Broken, shattered, and just plain wobbly, I took the handle and I turned away from him. Out the door I went, unable to hold back the flood of tears and sobs once I made it out. I moved down the halls and ended up on a different floor, not having it in me to book another hotel room when I was so much of a mess. I didn't stay behind and I didn't say anything to him because I kept trying to make sense of everything. I kept trying to pinpoint why I had been so stupid heading into this and if it had been too soon to start a relationship with someone I honestly barely even knew. The white knight had apparently not been a white knight at all. He was just another who swooped in and took off his mask whenever he got what he wanted. Suddenly my dream didn't seem so foolish anymore.

Observing through the water in my eyes, I scanned them along the room numbers, broken heart skipping a beat whenever I got to room number 413. As a general manager, I have to review hotels for my beloved roster and know who gets what room number if the superstars and divas so happen to be staying in the same hotel. Sometimes they make it known that they won't be in the same one and I jot that down. It was kind of sad that any person could walk out of their hotel room and recognize me as their sniffling boss. That would be embarrassing.

But, 413 made many memories come flooding back and suddenly I remembered why the number had any significance. Dean Ambrose was staying in this room, I recall looking through the paper and skimming my eyes. I didn't know where Jon and I stood after... Everything, but I knew that we hadn't talked in forever. So that had something to do with it. But as memories came, I realized that this situation with Nick, it sounded familiar. Much like the time that Nick no longer wanted to be my boyfriend kind of familiar. Enraged, I stood up, finally thinking something that made logical sense.

Nick didn't say all of that shit to me because he wanted to. No, Jon had something to do with it. The motherfucker was making my life hell again and I had been stupid enough to believe that it was all Nick's fault. Stomping on over, mascara running down my cheeks or not, I formed a fist and I knocked onto the door with a vehemence. My shoe covered foot tapped the floor in loss of patience as I knocked onto the door again after a minute of no sound coming from the other side.

Just when I was going to knock onto the door again, it came open, and after months of not seeing one another, Jon was... Not the way I remembered him at all. He was fit, that was a given, but his curls looked disheveled, more so than they had been. His eyes were even bloodshot and I knew then, also by the smell coming off him, that he was drunk. Drunk off his ass. He stood before me in only a pair of jeans, socks not even being evident on his feet. His belt hung off his waist, and I felt as if I would look into the room, I would see some slut, probably annoyed that I interrupted them. Much to my surprise, he looked... Sad in a way, eyes widening whenever they had seen me for a few seconds, blinking as if this was some kind of hallucination the alcohol was providing.

"Chase... What are you doing here?" He asked in that deep voice of his, words carefully said so he wouldn't slur them. It was one of the most terrifying moments to be there in front of Jon when he was so intoxicated, but I stood my ground.

Without warning, I lifted my hand and smacked him across the face. He stumbled slightly, hand coming up to touch his cheek as he looked at me straight away, obviously in shock. I was expecting anger, but I was glad I blindsided him.

"Stay the fuck out of my life and leave me the hell alone," I said through rage, turning on my heel and walking away without looking back. I needed to find a restroom to get my face together before I went to the lobby and asked for a room. I knew that Jon had watched me leave because I didn't hear a door close until I got near the elevator.

Good riddance.


	30. Chapter 30

It had been two weeks since the breakup with Nick and two weeks since the incident where I smacked the taste out of Jon's mouth. Two weeks ago, life had changed for me since I distanced myself from any entity that dared to approach me almost immediately. Work had took me out to the halls however, my current storyline with Joe and Cena making it difficult to try and stay behind a closed door at my desk. During these live feeds backstage after we cleared out from being in front of a camera, Joe knew better and left from my vicinity in mere seconds. Cena, being the hard worker he was, only nodded his head, said what was good and what wasn't, and then respectively left. Out in the open though, I gave people the opportunity to look at me, their knowledge full that I was dumped by the one and only Dolph Ziggler. It was a bitter pill to swallow and I had left countless voicemail messages for him since he so obviously declined every single one of my calls. I wasn't stupid, there was more than enough rings done to show that his phone wasn't off.

People talked and in my state of crying and sobbing behind closed doors, I found my rebound toxins releasing their chemicals pretty harshly. It's like every male looked good enough to hop into bed with just because my hormones were running rampant. I think a small part of me was simply thinking that I would hurt Nick somehow by sleeping around and showing him that he couldn't even get into the sack with me until months had gone by while these guys barely met me and already got some. But I just had to accept the fact that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore and all that he told me, well, they were all quite possibly lies. I say possibly because my heart was set on the theory I had about Jon being involved in the entire thing. It just made the most logical sense for Jon to threaten him and interfere because he had been dormant for so long. The guy didn't do any trouble for months and I was just expected to stand back and fully accept that when I knew he clearly couldn't be trusted? No, I wasn't going to let him off the leash that easily and even if he didn't do anything, he deserved the slap he got across the face for all the other shit he's done to me.

While in the hallways of working and filming, Jon was around more, appearing not too far away from me every time I was out there. Him disappearing off the face of the earth wasn't something I could say anymore since it was like the slap had summoned him from his hermit state. I wasn't going crazy either when I tell you that every time I happened to look at him, he had a disappointed expression upon his features. That told me that I had really got to him, it told me that I was clearly right about him having to do something with how Nick dumped me. Debra told me to go kick both men in the balls since she was livid when I cried and told her what had happened the very next day. Joe, on the other hand, refused to believe that Jon had anything to do with the situation; I almost forgot that Jon and Joe were best friends. I was reminded kinda coolly though whenever Joe defended Jon with everything that he could possibly say in contrast to bad he's done. Colby, even as Jon's friend too, believed Jon had something to do with it too so it was really three to one on this and I hadn't talked to them since that day since people disgusted me...

Well, I was very turned on because of the whole needs and rebound thing, but I was still annoyed with anyone's existence trying to speak to me as if they had a right. That's a cold thing, an awfully cold thing actually, considering the fact that three people just wanted to make me feel better and happy again. It was just sorting myself out that I had trouble with and they would just make that trouble even greater than it already was. Any distraction in my soul searching wouldn't suffice for anything, and although I was lost in lust, I didn't give into any of the urges, feeling so crummy that I believed that I deserved it. My self esteem was out of whack and I was undeniably low, feeling that I just simply wasn't made to be loved by anyone or anything. Maybe there was some higher power that just didn't want me to be happy with anyone and it made me feel desire because it was cruel that I could never obtain it and true happiness at the same time. True happiness, well, I didn't know the meaning of true happiness since whatever definitions could be easily shot down without even realizing it. It was a dream of mine, but then something, or someone, got in the way of that true happiness and suddenly I couldn't pursue any of that, none of it actually.

In my hotel room, I sat down onto the edge of the bed and leaned forward, hands clasping together for a moment as I reached up to bite at my thumbnail. It was the only remedy that came to mind to try and stop me from having such horrid thoughts about myself, but it did nothing really, having all these thoughts animate to life as I closed my eyes. You see, nothing in this world can make you feel awful unless you give a damn about it. I, poorly done so, have made mistakes more than once and they have cost me a fortune in my emotional well being. Nothing could possibly have me rise out of this darkness and into some kind of light. Nothing that I could think of anyway. And perhaps, that's what scared me the most. Not knowing what was to come next.

A knock had come to the door, bringing me away from the thoughts that were bringing me lower than the ground. Putting them to rest for a moment, I groaned out, frustrated that Colby, Joe, or Debra would have the nerve to show up after I made it so painstakingly clear that I needed to endure solitude. I just absolutely needed solitude actually, so whoever was at the door was going to have to deal with an earful that I presented forth.

As I swung the door open, I didn't expect the face of Jon's to greet me. I didn't have time to react, he just muscled his way on into the room and moved right passed me, shaking his head back and forth. Accommodating these twitches of his head was his erratic pacing, making my own mind go dizzy as I gulped. I knew I wouldn't be let off the hook for the slap, but I hadn't expected him to show up two weeks late to assert his dominance in some male, masculine pride sort of thing.

"I thought I was done... I really fucking did. You made me believe I was done. And then _you_ pull me back in," he muttered, staring straight at the floor. This wasn't the same Jon that I had known. This was a different Jon, nerved and full of some kind of pent up emotion. It could have quite possibly been anger, but I couldn't tell. Every time I thought I could read him, there was something arrogant or shockingly crude in between the lines.

"The last chance just ripped away from me just like you just so happened to rip yourself away from me. Oh fuck, you're driving me fucking crazy. I _shouldn't_ be in here," he said lowly. It was dark, his monotone voice showing me that he was talking more so to himself than he was to me. I simply stood back, watching as he moved, holding something back. Maybe he wanted to hit me, I didn't know. I just knew he was on the brink of falling apart.

But... It was then that I noticed how his shirt clung to his chest, how it outlined the muscles there in that area. They rippled as he brought his toned arms up and ran his hands through the mess of curls atop his head. Beautiful dirty blond curls that sometimes looked brown or red. I had such fascination with his hair really. Even the hair on his chest that managed to poke through around his neckline.

"So why the fuck am I in here... I owe no explanation," he concluded, his pacing coming to a halt as he waved his arms out, looking at me as he shook his head. Jon's expression was distressed, looking for forgiveness even though it was clear he didn't know what he did wrong.

Stupid hormones were getting to me though and a glance into those deep blue eyes melted me on the inside.

"Why did you come to my room and slap me? It was random as shit," he let out, bulky arms crossing against his broad chest. My heart skipped a beat, the pool forming in my stomach as I captured my bottom lip between my teeth.

I didn't know it until I realized he was getting bigger that I was walking forward to him, in a nonchalant manner to. My alarms were down, they refused to make any sound as I advanced to him, hearing my own name being called in my ears. _Chase. Chase. Chase._ Except, only one person called me that and I realized it wasn't my mind calling upon me. No, it was Jon himself, trying to get words out of me, trying to snap me out of my haze without even knowing I was in one.

"Chase? Hello? What are you doing? Are you seriously going to hit me again because I'm sick and tired of—"

Arms wrapped around his muscular neck, bringing his head down to my level so that I was able to collide our lips together. Attempting to try and hear his words, that was going to continuously fail while I was in this state of desire, having no coherent thought but the one telling me to fuck him. His mouth tasted of cigarettes, faint alcohol, and something just so overwhelmingly Jon, that something I was able to taste more of as soon as my tongue pushed into his mouth to meet his. I didn't know that our kiss got heated so fast nor that it was me who was deepening it until Jon gave up and kissed me back. The poor man was mid sentence, expecting some kind of explosive argument and I had stolen all of his fire with a mere kiss that he soon took control of, falling to the mattress with the both of us clinging to one another feverishly. Our tongues, teeth, and lips battled hungrily, passion and sloppiness intertwining and weaving together to create a destructive combination.

Jon _loved_ destruction.

His large body covered mine as he settled in between my thighs, my legs wrapping around his waist as I kept him super close to me, as if he'd melt away if I let go. I didn't want to let go of him, as much as I hated him, he was still here, allowing me to kiss him even after I hit him in the face. Nothing made sense with us, but I didn't have to think about any of that as I dropped my hands down, reaching under his shirt to feel the muscles in his stomach. They jumped at my touch, Jon's mouth leaving mine as he stared into my eyes with darkened orbs of complete and utter lust.

"What do you want, Chase?" He asked, voice husky with sin and half confusion. He wanted to play by ear obviously, not comprehending why I had pounced on him in the first place whenever I was so angry with him weeks ago.

I wanted to break down in front of him and scream that I didn't know. But... I couldn't give him that satisfaction. I refused to look weak in front of him ever again.

"I want you to fuck me." My voice had been stern, my gaze firm on his icy eyes as I kept my expression impassive. It was a pull from his playbook, but I don't think he minded.

He really, truly didn't mind with the groan he gave, elongating it and that just showed the surplus of desire I had built from words alone. "I've been waiting to hear those words for a fucking eternity."

Instead of allowing me to remove his shirt like I had wanted to in the first place, he adjusted into his mode, the one where if you tried to test him, he'd bite your head off. The hem of my shirt was toyed with for a while as he flickered his eyes up at me, fire flashing in them as he growled and pulled it up over my head. With the useless tank gone, his head nestled in between my breasts before he kissed up a trail from cleavage to collar bone. I didn't understand it then why he was being more controlled than I had recalled it to be, but now I know that he was trying to make up for all the shit that he had done, and whatever it was he did this time whenever he had been slapped across the face. He wanted to worship me in his own chaotic way. Actually, he came to a pause, looking up at me through those hooded orbs as he let his tongue travel across his lips, hesitant in his motions.

"What about Nick?" He asked slowly, obviously fighting against his own desire since I could see him gripping the bedsheets so tight that his knuckles were turning white. It occurred to me then that maybe Jon really didn't know what happened and actually didn't have anything to do with it at all.

My hand, feeling all too bold at the moment, it traveled over to my back and unclasped my bra, bringing it off my chest as I then tossed it to the floor. I swear I could see as Jon's mouth went completely dry.

"We're not together anymore," I uttered firm yet quickly.

It was all the confirmation Jon needed since he let go of the bedsheets and took a hardened nipple into his mouth, the sensitivity of it against his wet tongue making me arch deeply into his face as I let out a moan. The other ached, hardened I could feel really tight to where I crossed my legs together. I had to. There was a fierce ache to have him there. Disapprovingly, he shook his head, removing the nipple with a pop as he pried them back open, moving up to my ear. "You leave these legs open. What's in between is _mine_ tonight."

His voice... Oh God the rasp and the edge made me nod in submission, spreading my legs further without so much as a peep. "Oh, good fucking girl," he praised bringing the other untouched nipple into his mouth to soothe the peak. I inhaled a deep breath, feeling as if there was a connection between my breasts and my core since I felt myself growing even wetter as the pleasure came.

"Jon... Please..."

"Please what?"

"I need you..." I whined, gasping as he used his fingers to knead and twist at my nipples. They were overly sensitive and he knew that. He had full knowledge of my body. More than anyone did. More than even I did.

"I know, baby. I know."

The loss of his fingers made my body come back to the mattress, laying flatly as I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. It wasn't something I was able to do however since his skilled hands worked off my shorts as his tongue, teeth, and lips worked over my nipples and abdomen. The tremors were hitting at me beautifully, my noises spilling out my throat. I felt like a gaudy guitar, one pluck of the damn strings and they'd play music. Once my shorts were completely off, I heard a strong grunt escape from Jon's mouth... He had discovered I wasn't wearing any underwear and I was just dripping. "Fuck... You're going to feel amazing around my cock again," he let out pushing my thighs apart once more. I felt the stretch in them, the flexibility of mine being tested.

He aided in this, keeping them apart by using his strong arms to wrap around them, hot mouth moving on over my clit. He was hovering now, his hot breath hitting away at me as I ached underneath him, dropping my hands down to have my nails dig into his shirt clad shoulders. I was naked, bare to him while he was still fully clothed and this knowledge made him smirk, that smirk that just made him Jon. The one that made him so painfully smug yet so charming at the same time that constantly made me either want to hit him in the face or kiss him. There was no in between with him unless it involved getting in between to fuck me raw. I trembled at that thought, in anticipation as I awaited for Jon to continue on, but he didn't, he just stared up at me with those currently royal blue eyes. They always darkened whenever it came to anything sexual and I wondered if he knew of these transitioning shades of blue. Inhaling a deep breath, it struck me what he wanted me to do: he wanted me to beg him in the most lewd way possible and me, being the wreck I was that just had to be touched, I gave in, surrendering to him.

"I need you, Jon. Please... Don't stop..." I coaxed breathlessly, clit quivering as I looked at how close his lips were. He was letting out long breaths on purpose, inhaling to get the scent of my arousal.

"Tell me what you need," he responded, lazily drifting his eyes open and closed.

"You. I need you to fuck me. I need you to eat me out. I just... Fuck, Jon I need to so bad," I mewled, eyes closing in gnawing need. The pool was forming harshly and he hadn't even touched me yet.

The first lap of his tongue was the one that made me cry out, my hands coming off his shoulders to the sheets. No, I gripped the mattress super tight and he then used the flat of his tongue to just lap up and over my clit continuously to scoop the residue up into his mouth. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as he closed his lips over my nub and slid his tongue in between my walls. I didn't last long, climaxing into his mouth a little too violently since I pushed my hips up. He drank it up. All of it. Licking my pussy clean of it before he had that smirk upon his features yet again, eyebrows raising at me as his tongue snaked out to clean his lips.

"You're in for a treat. Actually, I'm in for a treat. You're going to sit back and fucking enjoy," he growled out.

That was all that was said before he let his head disappear back in between my thighs, his tongue lavishly attacking my core mercilessly.

I screamed his name over and over again. If I thought that the first climax was bliss, I was sadly mistaken as his expert tongue played with my pussy, tangled into it with strong flicks. The pink muscle was relentless in letting up for me too, not stopping until I weakly came for him again and again and again.

I forgot how strong his sex drive was, starting to realize that he was going to take his sweet time whenever he buried himself into me.

Panting harshly as I looked down at him, he raised his head from my womanhood, the nectar he had been drinking down shining over his lips. It was... Erotic to say the least to see my own cum dripping down his chin that he had managed to miss. My heart was thudding so hard against my chest that it looked like he was moving in slow motion as he came up my body, crawling up over me as he captured my mouth in a searing kiss.

I tasted myself on him, whimpering at the taste as I inhaled through my nostrils, breathing still too erratic. He removed his shirt, bringing his mouth away from mine to do so.

I did something that surprised myself and I'm sure it surprised the fuck out of him too. I reached up, tongue trailing what was on his chin and part of his neck. The move of licking up my own substance off of him caused him to shudder, his hands pushing me back down to the mattress as he kissed me harder than before. I was clearly evoking a greater animal to come out of him and he was delivering, being less controlled and more wild. Like a caged animal, he was breaking those bars, letting loose onto me as he unbuckled his belt. The leather fell to the floor somewhere with its own clink of metal, the button of his jeans coming out. As our kiss became hungrier and heavier, the ache between my legs developing yet again, he unzipped his pants, the sound not falling on deaf ears since breathing couldn't be heard considering the breaths we were stealing from one another. It was the most amazing suffocation that I could have ever felt.

The heavy denim of his jeans came down his hips and this is where I glanced down, his mouth coming off of mine so he could get rid of them fully. There was a large tent pitched in his boxers. It was painfully obvious that he had been rock hard, growing straight into a metallic zipper that I knew for sure was super uncomfortable. As the material of his boxers stretched with a wet spot gathered at the tip of the very tent, he removed them finally, unveiling his thick, long length to me. It was pulsating, the tip engorged with a deep deep red color that looked almost purple. The entire time he was pleasuring me, it built up to the point of where he probably had a immensely strong willpower. I was jealous since I caved so easily just by having him walk straight into my hotel room. His body hovered over mine, his eyes latching to my own as I shakily cupped his facial structure into my hands.

I was intimidated by the mere size of him, being incredibly small in comparison to him. Moments like this showed me how much power he really truly had over me. His hand wrapped around his veiny member, guiding it to where the flushed head of him ran up and down my slit. I hissed at the feeling and to my surprise, so did he, both of us unable to go any longer without this. This thing that we both desperately craved from one another in the very end.

Inch by inch, every nuisance, it was felt as he pushed in, my walls gripping his girth tightly. He wasn't even all the way in and we were both heavily breathing. I wondered how long it had been since Jon was with a woman, not exactly knowing how long he could possibly last if it had been months. Then again, he could've been fucking countless women to try and numb himself from knowing me or any of the shit he had done.

Fully into the hilt, he pecked my lips and I wisely reached under his arms, my hands on the backs of his shoulder blades as I trembled underneath him. I held on for dear life as he began pumping away with no abandon into me, my moans coming up to a high pitch to where they just were plain screams. I had been quiet with Nick since I didn't want to disturb anyone, but I knew Jon, and that meant that he wanted me to wake up the entire hotel. He wanted me to let out all those noises of pleasure to know he left his mark upon me, claim my cunt as his own and bark at anyone who came near. And if I tried to restrain any noise, he'd push harder, more ruthlessly and I wouldn't be able to form words much like right now. I had to scream because the pleasure was too damn powerful, too damn overwhelming, and it felt too damn good being stretched and filled to the brim by his thickness. He was simply the best lay I could ever have and I wouldn't be able to deny that to anyone that was near, nor would I even try to do so.

We both let out expletives, my world crashing as I came hard around his dick, gripping him tighter in convulsing walls as my back arched despite my legs around his waist. He was swelling, beautifully so, swelling as he kept moving, kept on surging his body forward to where the headboard kept hitting the wall rapidly. His rhythm didn't stop, and before I knew it, I was brought to that edge again, cumming so hard that I saw stars cross behind my eyelids as I screamed his name. Burying himself deeply one last time, he called out the sobriquet he gave me, bucking and panting as he gushed into me. My own release had seeped down my thighs, but his, oh his buckets of held back cum fell down midway, close to moving underneath my knees. He collapsed on top of me, a sweaty exhausted mess as I tried to catch my breath, running my fingers through his sweaty locks. I felt him soften inside of me, still feeling full as he refused to pull out. Not yet, he was clearly exasperated just as much as I was.

When enough time passed, he brought himself out, and it was the most delicious sight to see his dick covered in cum, glistening and dripping as he fell back on top of me. I didn't mind his two hundred pound plus frame, it made me feel safe actually. Safer than I had felt in a really, really long time. That was odd.

"I could've gone longer... I'm sorry... It's just been a while..." He said, breaking our silence with evened out breathing. Christ, if he held on for as long as he actually could, I probably would've been passed out from overdrive.

"So... You didn't fuck anyone for over half a year?" I asked casually, earning a chuckle from him.

"I didn't say that," he confessed, letting his electric blues look into mine. My heart skipped a beat, wondering what he meant by his softened expression. I don't know why I felt a bit of jealousy because he was a free man to do as he pleased.

"Then what do you mean by 'it's been a while'?"

"I mean that I haven't been able to get off without the use of my hand..." He bit at his lip, eyes closing.

Ohhhh. So he fucked women, but never came... That must've fucking sucked. For him and the... Well, no, they were probably happy he was so attentive to their needs instead of his own.

"I doubt you've only cum with your hand," I retorted.

"Believe it because it's the truth. I spent a lot of time getting drunk too so if I did end up cumming in some pussy, I don't remember it."

"Did you at least use condoms with them...?" I asked nervously. I didn't want to say he was carrying anything, but I knew what kind of record he had with women.

"Always. Drunk me isn't that stupid. Least I don't think so since there's always scattered, used condoms when I wake... If there's a girl next to me that is. Besides... You're the only one that I don't use anything with," he answered.

"Why is that?"

"Because it feels better without it. And I know you're on the pill," he said. This was an odd conversation to be having.

"How the hell did you know that?" I questioned, half playful as I let my hands drift along the stubble on his cheeks.

"I... A long while back, I heard you on the phone with your friend, Debra, I believe. This was when you and I butted heads a lot and... I heard you tell her that you never forgot to take birth control.."

The memory of that phone call danced in my head and I bit back a laugh. It was the first time Debra had a pregnancy scare. I had only ever had sex with one man and at the time I wasn't having sex at all, but I still felt triumphant that I could remember to continuously take a pill. She, on the other hand, forgot rarely. And she was more.. Active in that department than I was.

"I can't believe you remember that," I said with a smile. He returned it, dimples sprouting.

"I remember everything. Especially when it comes to you."

The affection we were showing each other... It was so unlike us and... I didn't stop it in anyway. I didn't want to stop it actually. It was nice instead of fighting. Plus, I still had a hunch he ruined my relationship with Nick, no matter what he said. Jon was a good actor, I couldn't trust him that easily.

Instead of entertaining his line with one of my own, I pushed against his body so he could hover. Questionably, he got the hint and did so, arching an eyebrow in confusion. I was incredibly sore, but I managed to get my fingers into my aching pussy and bring out the fluid that had mixed with mine. It was mostly his since he came after I did, and I brought it to my mouth, sucking onto my fingers.

"Fucking hell, Chase.. You're going to kill me tonight," he growled, already pushing his hard length into me with one hard thrust. I screamed, satisfied as he already began to move. He was going to last so long and now I was at his mercy. We were going to be at it all night.

And I really, _really_ needed it.


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello, lovelies. There's nine chapters left of the story. How exciting! I hope I've done this justice and I hope you all don't go crazy for the next chapters to come since I know these will be the more stress filled ones to read. It'll pay off, I promise. This one is more smut than story. I feel that I just owe it to you all since I know that the next ones won't be so kind. Enjoy!**

Sunlight sparked on in through the curtains when I managed to let my eyelids come open. I shifted slightly where I lay, feeling the foreign burning in my legs as I had done so with a shaky breath following suit. The night before was already settling deeply into my mind in memory, recalling every single movement that had been done, that had led up to this moment. It's really what made me turn where I lay, already coming to face with Jon who was awake. There was bags under his eyes, strong indication that he didn't sleep nor was he getting any. I didn't exactly pay attention to this detail earlier on until now, my hand coming up to touch his face. Palm met stubble, warmth being evoked from the both of us as I ran my thumb along the darkened ring under his eye. To my own surprise, his eyelids closed, sighing gently as he used his arms to wrap around me and pull my body into him.

I couldn't even gasp at it, just welcoming it as I was held close to his warmth, unmatched by the thick bed sheet on top of us. There had been some wild encounters for sure within the hours of the night, but with how he held me, I felt safe. I felt as if nothing could hurt me even if the one I was in the arms of was the same one I had cried many times because of. After all the amount of tears, I still nuzzled my head into his chest, clinging to his toned body as he let his head tilt and inhale the scent of my hair. I had finally slept well with Jon by my side for some reason too. It wasn't something that should've been an actual thing, but horrifyingly enough, it was. I had found myself holding onto Jon as he kissed my forehead, letting his lips softly linger. Suddenly I ignored the ache in my legs as I kissed his chest, letting the hair tickle at my face as I drug my head to kiss around his nipples. I moved lower, planting pecks onto his abdomen before he suddenly brought my body back up, a light hold on my arms.

I shot him a quizzical look, about to speak before he did it himself. "Wait… what was that about last night?" He spoke hesitantly as he looked at me. There was heavy reluctance in his question since it was obvious he wasn't mad about it. If anything, he was confused.

"Since Nick decided to kick me to the curb, I've been feeling… riled up. A lot. Then you were here and…" I trailed off, hoping that he understood that all easily. He did, nodding his head as he sighed deeply.

"So you just used me, huh? For your own needs when we _really need_ to talk?" His features hardened slightly and I felt my heart hit my chest a bit faster. That sounded awful coming from him, saying it like I used him. But in a way, I kinda' did just use him. All while the two of us had no idea where the hell we stood. It made me feel dirty.

"I didn't see you trying to fucking stop me," I replied scooting away from him, pushing his chest as I moved. I was going to stand off the bed but he drug me back into him, gently actually as he shook his head. I didn't mean to sound so cold, but with how those blue eyes looked almost _pleading_ I knew he really wanted to work whatever this was out once and for all.

"I don't want to fight anymore, Chase. I just want to know what the fuck we are. I want to know that I can share a bed with you like this without being confused as to why you hate me one second and then want me around the next," he elaborated, pushing loose strands of sex hair away from my face.

"... Nick broke up with me and said he was cheating on me the entire time out of the blue after he and I slept together. I assumed and still think actually that you had something to do with it. Maybe threatened him or something.. It's why I went to your hotel room weeks ago and hit you straight in the face," I confessed all at once.

Jon was a bit struck hard, blinking at all of that as he breathed. It was quite a lot to take in. I didn't blame him.

"When I heard that you were with Nick, I was… angry. I wanted to go to you and I wanted to fight. I wanted to argue. I wanted you to _talk_ to me even if you were angry or throwing shit at me, but I knew that the two of us… we couldn't possibly ever work from how volatile we are when we're together. So I backed off. I avoided you everywhere. If I happened to see you from afar, I went the other direction and Joe mentioned to me how you and Nick were going strong almost on a weekly basis and… I didn't know what else to do. I already have sleeping problems, but this… it made sleep impossible because almost every dream I had, well, you would be in it and it would piss me off. So I got drunk every second of free time that I had to where hangovers were no longer attainable in the mornings. I drank and drank and fucked random women to try and numb me out, but nothing was working. I was becoming lost and the only time anything made sense was when I was out inside of the ring, beating someone to a pulp because all my rage was being taken out on my body.

"The lack of sleep along with the large alcohol consumption was worrying Joe and he was going to go to headquarters to rat me out whenever I refused to stop my habits. I made him swear that he wouldn't tell anyone and honestly, he should've. He should have told the world that I was becoming a drunk behind the scenes and chain smoking to the point of where I would make our whole cancer awareness campaigns worthless. I was a wreck and nothing was changing. Gym time was cut down, I spent time trying to think, trying to drill women into the mattress, but you know what the fucking problem was? I was losing my mind because I…" he stopped his speech, eyes closing in frustration. I didn't understand what he was going to say, but I knew he was truly hard for him just by the look on his face.

"Because… because I'm attached to you… yeah… that's it. I'm attached to you and when you were in front of my door two weeks ago after all of the shit I endured, I felt absolute relief. Even if you did leave a handprint on my cheek. It was the wake up call I needed. The kick up the ass… and so I ditched the alcohol, cut back on smoking, went back to my regular gym schedule, and tried to focus again. It didn't really work since I found myself in here last night, expecting a full blown fight only for it to end up in something I've missed for too fucking long…" his hand trailed over my thigh, causing me to shudder against him.

"I don't know why Nick cheated on you. I do know however why you think I had anything to do with it, but I'm telling you now, I swear I did absolutely nothing. I didn't interfere. I didn't even know you two broke up until you told me last night. Please, Chase… I'm sorry for all the shit I did. I'm sorry for the lies and I'm sorry for hurting you. But I didn't do this. Nick is a fucking idiot who I will gladly end if you said to," Jon concluded, looking me straight in the eye. My heart was swelling at this point, not expecting all of this to come from him. I didn't know any of this and to think that Joe had been quiet about it made me a bit sad since I just wanted Jon to be okay now. I wanted him to feel good rather than shit like he had basically felt for over six months. Six months of my life that I wasted on Nick.

It was dark what Jon said to finish it off, but I knew he was _dead serious_ with how his eyes sparked in electricity. All of it was overwhelming, not knowing what to do except accept his apology.

"Jon…" I almost breathlessly let out and he smiled gently, a knowing smile that didn't have to say a word. I took that as my go ahead that he understood I had accepted all of that. He just stole all my words at once though.

Instead of saying anything, I had brought my mouth onto his, latching onto it in a tongue clashing kiss. He got the hint fast, maneuvering his mouth with mine as we both fought for utter dominance. As usual, Jon stole it, winning as he hungrily dropped his hands down to roam and cup my ass in his large hands. I shifted against him, climbing fully on top of him so I could let my tongue sink under his. Morning wood poked at my flesh, already causing me to locate it blindly within my hand so I could sink down onto him.

As if by some cue, we both let out long moans, his hands coming onto my hips as he looked up at me through those clouded blue eyes. Gentle was never how we did things. With how he hungrily thrusted up into me with purpose, it was inevitable how rough he was easily going to get. Yet, I wouldn't have Jon any other way than how rough he was, gripping me at my hips tightly to pull me onto him on his upstroke.

I was already drowning, reeling in pleasure, unaware of how much I was really finding myself settling into as I placed my hands onto his slightly hairy chest to hold myself steady. It didn't exactly work since I probably would've bounced off his lap if he hadn't been holding me so tight.

The pressure of his pumping increased erratically, the same bone crushing one being used by both of his curling fingers as he stared up at me with raw intensity. I wished that I could've watched those eyes longer, but my own were having trouble staying open with how hard he was going. Before I knew it, the world was spinning and I was on my back, one leg being moved onto his shoulder. The beautiful soreness being tested by my flexibility radiated and added onto the different sensation he was creating by plowing into me like a madman. His name repeatedly came off of my lips, feminine side hitting hard as I let my voice hit a high pitch every time he angled himself in deeper. Deeper and harder, it was driving me crazy, never able to hold on for too long with Jon and it was mind numbingly amazing. As tension was let out from my pores as it had been during the night, his panting and groaning sent chills straight up my spine and with one look that I managed upwards, my world came crashing on in itself.

 _And I let go._


	32. Chapter 32

The behavior towards Jon had changed for the absolute better since I found myself in his hotel room constantly for about a month. It struck me as laughable since almost a year ago I couldn't bear the thought of having to stay stuck with him for at least a week. In an ironic twist, I found us sleeping together every chance we got, whether it was at the arena or in the hotel or within his low decorated home. I blamed my sex drive really since I found him to be more than appetizing on more than one occasion, even if he was layering his jackets like a madman. His hatred for the cold never really made too much sense for me, but I could comprehend that he just really didn't want to be in the midst of any of it just like I couldn't be in the midst of some overwhelming fight. My sensitivity levels were too high if feelings were attacked at my own self esteem too much. It was already low enough as it was.

I was trusting that Jon wasn't going to hurt me and he was delivering, being there when I needed him and happened to have a nightmare after a steamy night that resulted in the both of us clinging to one another. The nightmare with Nick happened again, but it ended quickly whenever Jon said it was okay, that he was there and no one was going to touch me. I recall just holding onto him until I fell back asleep and to make things even better, he was there in the morning, offering to go and get breakfast. That would fly out the door whenever we'd get a glance of each other naked though, not having the willpower to keep our hands off of one another. Maybe some other day, I would've been ashamed that I had so little control, but we were really in that phase where separation was a highly difficult thing. Time was well spent inside the locker-room as well, getting caught by Joe and Debra about a week into our little fling with Jon's shirt across the room, belt hanging off his waist, and my skirt bunched up extremely high. I don't know if I ended up flashing Joe as I braced myself on the bench, but I remember Debra laughing so hard at his blushing demeanor. That was pretty much enough to give me a silent confirmation.

After Debra had managed to stop laughing, she straight up punched Jon in the jaw, causing him to curse in tongues that I knew would make a sailor blush. It was a really hard hit, but she made him promise not to hurt me again. _Never again,_ was what he had replied with, making my heart just flutter. It was that notion that made me move from where I stood, arms wrapping around his neck to hug him in a more adoring fashion. He smelled of musk, no cigarette scent to be found since he wasn't having any problems quitting. The scent had lingered with me, trapping itself in my nose as I ventured off with my own giggles hitting when no one else knew. It was the kind of thing that you don't say aloud, the kind of _beautiful_ thing that you only keep to yourself even though people would be jealous if they heard. But I didn't need the world to know about Jon and I. I had the man to myself even if we didn't label ourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend. It wasn't needed actually, finding the best in one another's company with our close friends having knowledge of what was going on. Colby, surprisingly, was cool about it, liking the fact that things were coming together with the both of us once more.

It didn't change how much of an asshole he was with the both of us, but I digress. Sex had been plentiful, but the pillow talk always did ensure me of sweet dreams to be had, loving images filtering on through my brain perfectly. A lot of them were of Jon and I, a given since I was just as attached to him as he claimed he was to me. There were little stories that Jon liked to tell before he would close his eyes and go to sleep. Or at least pretend to sleep for my sake since he was still having trouble doing so. I knew he was pretending after about the fifth night since I awoke quietly to him staring at me. I had squinted my eyes enough to see moonlight hitting rugged features. He always looked so thoughtful, like he was thinking about something important. I liked to think that he was thinking about me in those moments. There was always desire to say something from how he moved his lips too, like he wanted to tell me something but he couldn't because something was stopping him. I never confronted him about any of it because I knew how closed he could be when it came to anything that was personal. Jon had struggles, inner demons, and he'd tell me when he was ready as long as I would wait.

I _wish_ I waited _longer_ …

After the month, it was getting kind of odd the way that Jon was behaving towards me. The nights of prolonged sex started to slowly diminish because he would claim he was too tired and just wanted to sleep. Yet whenever we were in bed, he wasn't sleeping. He was just looking at me again, making me question what was going on inside of his head and why things were becoming so _different_. It wasn't a good different either.

We still shared a hotel room, but he was starting to make a lot of time for the bar, wanting to get wasted. He'd come back late, too late since I would always fall asleep trying to wait for him. As drunk as he was, he didn't touch me then either. Those rough fingertips never invaded warm skin anymore and I never felt his light kisses in the morning since he was a bit hungover. He'd complain to me that his head was hurting then he'd ask me how work was going and if I was enjoying making matches. It was becoming _boring_ and predictable, something that Jon never was. He had been the epitome of an unorthodox style, but I could see every move he was making from a mile away. I suggested to him one night that I go and drink with him, but he'd protest and tell me that it wasn't a good idea since he wanted me to stay safe at the hotel room. He didn't want me to feel like shit in the morning nor did he want me to get fired for intoxication. Considering how long he had been drinking and the fact that he _was_ banging the boss, at that point, he had a better chance of getting away with it. I never questioned too much why he was going so much for the same reason I never questioned why he wasn't sleeping. I just didn't want to make him feel like he had to spill his guts out to me. He didn't. I just wanted him to _talk_ to me at least. Was that too much to really ask for?

The bad part was that my sex drive was getting a bit more needy, trying to initiate stuff myself, but he'd turn my attempts into cuddling. A relationship isn't all sex, that's true, but it would have helped more if he was talking to me as to why we weren't having any and why he was distancing himself so much during the night. I willed myself to start watching his matches too and he was looking a bit sluggish, as if something was on his mind. I didn't know if he realized this since he was such a perfectionist when he wrestled. It was all he claimed to be good at, so why was he stiff in his movements and almost a bit oppressive in the delivery of his promos? Fans still ate him up, but me, I was becoming worried. Something was wrong with Jon, _my Jon,_ and I didn't know what it was. Not knowing was what really eating me up inside and staying quiet made me want to pull my hair out by the roots.

"Ugh," I groaned, throwing a wadded pair of panties into the wall from where I stood. Laundry day happened to land while I was within captivity of a hotel room. I shouldn't have been doing laundry in there, but I was frustrated at the same time and Jon was out unable to help me rid myself of this frustration.

A knock came at the door, stopping me from angrily folding clothes from a basket. Instinct had me bolt on over, not even taking a single look through the peephole because I just wanted Jon to be there so I could jump on him and make out with him. That's what I wanted at _least._

But no, as the door came flying open, Colby was on the other side, a bouqet of flowers in his right hand as he smiled. "Wow, you opened that really fast. You must be happy to see me," he jeered. All I did was groan in response to that, marching to sit at the edge of my bed as I looked down at my bare thighs. I was only in a pair of spandex and a tank top, but I didn't care much about that.

"Or not. Gee, nice to see you too," Colby muttered, closing the door behind him as he approached me. He saw the way that my eyes stared straight down and all he did was let out a deep sigh, pushing the bouqet of flowers forward. The white roses made my heart flutter as I took them from him, looking to the card that stuck out.

"Jon told me to pick these up for you because he has a European tour booked," he spoke softly, sitting down at the edge next to me. I took the card into my hand, opening the small envelope.

 _I'll see you soon. Sorry I couldn't be there. I got you these… I know they're your favorite. Call every night? - Jon._

My heart swelled really as I smiled at it, standing to place the bouqet at the vanity. A happy sigh left from me as I stood there. I was already thinking about Jon and I reuniting, laughing together at the airport. Like I had mentioned before, it wasn't just about sex between the two of us. As much as I wished that was still going on, he could do little things like this and just blindside me.

"You want to tell me why your mood just changed in a split of two seconds there at the door?" Colby asked as I retook my seat there on the edge right next to him. I brought the basket close to us, already folding clothes again as I just shrugged, trying not to make such a big deal out of it.

"I just thought you were Jon," I confessed sheepishly, trying not to sound too bad there. It didn't work since Colby scoffed and shook his head back and forth.

"One, I'm better than Jon is. Immensely so. And two, you should have had a different reaction to when you saw me. I mean come on, when's the last time you and I had an actual genuine conversation? Because ever since you and Jon started fucking like bunnies, you've made less time for Joe and I. Although, Joe has been chummy with Debra while I've been fifth wheeling it," he coldly replied, nudging my shoulder. I hadn't really thought much about Colby's relationship situation. He and Zahra had broke it off not too long ago so he was probably getting hit pretty hard in the stomach over all of this.

"I'm sorry, it's just… Jon's been kind of…" I trailed off, not really wanting to have this conversation. I kept Jon and I's whatever we were relationship thing private for the most part because I knew he liked it that way too. But I also needed to talk it out soon to another lifeform or I was going to end up bottling it up to the point of where I'd erupt on Jon.

"Distant," Colby stated. He didn't ask it. He just knew, saying it right away. The guy was smart. I forgot that a lot about him from time to time.

"How'd you know?" I asked, going with my gut because he could have just been less frank about it. Colby not being blunt though was a rarity.

"He used to be the same way when we were in the Shield. It got worse when we seperated and had that huge fight. He still talks to Joe and I well, but we can tell when something is wrong with him. Right now, something's up. I have no idea what it is and I most likely never will with how reclusive Jon is," he explained, bringing his arms to cross against his chest. I didn't blame him. Jon was someone who was really away from the world. Anything that was personal made him either livid or oppressed. Either one didn't result in him talking much about it.

"I wish he'd just talk to me instead of leaving me in the dark. I wish he'd just fucking touch me," I grumbled now, talking more to myself than I was talking to Colby. The man took the hint though, chuckling as if I made the funniest joke in the world.

"Hate to be the bearer of bad news, Chasity, but maybe he just got bored of you already. I say this in the nicest way possible cause you're my friend, but come on, the distance being created just shows he just can't handle relationships. I hate to say I told you so," he declared, nudging me again with his shoulder. It was Colby's attitude that was like this. He was always this superior asshole that loved to be right and usually, I'd be a bitch right back, but then I took his words into some careful consideration.

What if Jon _was_ bored of me? It wouldn't be much of a surprise because he wasn't trying to get me in bed anymore. The guy could have me every and any night that he wanted but he wasn't doing anything. I would just lay there, wanting him, but saying nothing because I wanted him to get through whatever was making him behave so odd. It never occurred to me until Colby pointed it out that maybe there wasn't anything wrong with Jon. Maybe Jon was just bored of having sex with me, letting his attachment "run its course _"_ until it officially got out of his system. Now, he was probably looking for a way out of this, whatever it was, between us without looking like such a dick. Feelings can leave and that's what made me believe that Jon's feelings had run out, fading into the background because I had nothing left to give him. Such an epiphany had me raise a palm to my face, slowly rubbing under my eyes to stop myself, but it was too late.

I was crying already as the thoughts came in simultaneously, making Colby blink rather erratically. I didn't think he was expecting this kind of reaction from me as he leaned and tried his best to comfort me. The truth of it was that he didn't really know how as he patted my back and caught my tears with his thumbs, cupping my face.

"Hey, I'm sorry… I didn't mean for that to be so rude, but… I'm not taking it back because I do think it's the truth. Jon's my friend. And you're my friend. And I know Jon… as much as I want him to be happy, his history makes him incapable of such. You and him… I don't think it will last. He's a fucking moron too if he's not treating you like you're supposed to be treated too," he coaxed, attempting to get me to stop, but it only made it worse, causing me to cry into his chest. He didn't stop me, letting it happened as he ran hands down my back in a soothing motion.

"Seriously, you shouldn't be wasting your tears on him. I mean… I guess he is trying. He did send flowers after all," he added on, but I merely sniffled as he brough his hands to my shoulders to look at me. I was met with those brown eyes, lashes blinking softly for the first time in the longest time that I knew Colby.

With how vulnerable I currently was, I didn't see what was happening coming until I felt his lips on mine, softly meshing. It was a gentle pressure, my eyes wide open as I let it only continue on for a few more seconds before I pulled away and stood to my feet, wiping away my tears.

"I… Colby, you need to go," I said flatly, incredulous to what had just happened. The scary part was that I was already feeling the flames in my stomach, the same ones that sparked within me after a kiss with Jon. No, this was wrong.

"Come on, Chasity. You said it yourself. You want Jon to touch you… but he won't. Here I am. I'm no idiot. I can give you what you want," he justified himself, standing to his feet, letting his height win over me as he moved closer. I could feel the heat already intensifying, viewing Colby in a new light, but I think it was because of how long it had been since I had sex. Of course my being was going a bit haywire since I kept imagining some rather lewd things about Jon and I. Now that was morphing, my needs needing to be met as soon as possible as temptation wrapped around me further. No, that was Colby's arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me into his toned body.

I wasn't fighting as much as I thought I was as he looked at my face for any answer of just striaght up no, but he couldn't find it. It's because it wasn't there. My body wanted this as much as my heart was screaming for me to wait for Jon. But how long could a woman wait for a man who didn't even want to touch her when he was around? Jon had many an opportunity to get us both going but he wasn't taking any of the opportunities whatsoever. He was making me feel inadequate and here someone was willing to make me feel that way again.

Colby kissed me again, sweetly as the first time and I gave in to him, bringing my arms up to wrap around his neck. It took a couple of seconds, but I relaxed, allowing the kiss to deepen as his much longer beard tickled my skin. The warmth that had slipped between my lips coaxed a gasp from me, having it be swallowed immediately by an eager mouth. My mind was swimming, thoughts of how wrong this was disappearing as I let fully go, welcoming prying hands that were removing my shirt.

The next thing I knew… I was moaning _Colby._


	33. Chapter 33

**Sorry for the last chapter, but the ongoing conflict that I originally planned couldn't begin until after** _ **that**_ **happened. Shit will get worse. I'm sorry again.**

"You have no idea how amazing you look," Jon cooed in my ear as he pressed his lips at the origin of the pulse located in my neck. I writhed underneath his toned body, his weight settled on me perfectly without a single feeling of him crushing me. No, this sensation he provided was more of a safe one than it was a bone bending.

"Someone's happy to see me," I gasped, arching against the bed as he brushed the fabric covering my center.

"I could say the same about you," he growled in earnest, voice raspy and awfully low as he found my mouth, probing it with his dominating warmth. Jon was really just referring to the wetness that had greeted his fingertips and I couldn't have denied how good that it had felt to be given his attention again. I yearned for more, but ever since he had returned, I had been scarce around him. It wasn't because I wasn't feeling like being with him either. It was because of what I had done with Colby. The guilt was eating me alive every single second that I spent with Jon.

It made me scoot away from his grabby hands during the nights that he tried to hold me close. Guilt pushed me to dodge his make out sessions and end them with a gentle peck and a warm smile. He'd catch me post match in the locker room, body full of sweat as he cornered me to shower with him. As tempting as it was, I ducked and told him I had important business to take care of in the office and he'd try his best to hide his disappointment, but he'd let me go.

I kept recalling how awful I made him feel by accident regarding sex. It hurt his pride for sure and I apologized as best as I could.

" _Do you think that we need to invite Colby tonight?" Jon asked from across the room, phone to his ear. He had been chatting it up with Joe. They planned on having a get together since we all had been separated for too long._

" _No," I quipped right away, looking in the direction of the TV to avoid any eye contact. One gaze at those blue eyes would have me squealing and that wasn't the way to go._

" _Uh… Yeah, just call him up, I'll see you all in about two hours," Jon finished, hanging up right after and heading to me._

 _I remained flat on my stomach, staring at the television as I kept my cool. It wasn't really working since Jon was settled against me, running a large hand down my spine that just sent chills of electricity throughout my entire being. Christ._

" _Are you okay?" He questioned in concern, prompting me to look over at him with a haphazard transition. Relax. If anything seems remotely different, he'll catch it. Jon's too smart._

" _I'm fine. Why do you ask?"_

" _It's just… you've been acting weird with Colby lately and vice versa. Did you two have a fight or something while I was gone?" He continued his motions on my back, letting his hand travel underneath my belly as I felt my body meet his hard chest. His heart was beating softly against me, speeding up with how I pushed my posterior against his crotch from instinct._

" _Nope. We're okay. Just wanted it to be us tonight," I lied straight through my teeth as I felt him push his hips further. I felt his growing erection, pressing into my clothed flesh as I gripped the pillow under my chin tighter. I didn't know how else to react as he nuzzled his head onto the nape of my neck._

" _Mm, why didn't you say so earlier? I would've had you undressed faster," he huskily replied, teeth scraping my skin._

 _It had been a week since he came back. One week and every time things got as steamy as they did, I denied him in some ludicrous format. The problem was that I had this thing with Colby on my mind. I slept with one of Jon's best friends and I was becoming a wreck because of it. I had to tell Jon, but I was so afraid to tell Jon. If I did, I feared the worse. What could this man do? I already knew what he was capable of. Plus, he was back to normal already. This would surely be the demise of us. It wasn't fair since 'us' just got fucking started._

" _I could call them up and tell them we won't be able to make it, babe. You and me, all night," he promised as his fingers traveled to the hem of my shirt. I felt the roughened skin touch my abdomen, trailing along. He was pretty hard against me too, my breath quickening when I thought about him dragging down his jeans._

" _Jon… I… no, no," I pulled away from under him as quickly as I began to see images of Colby flash through my head. Fuck, I had to tell him or I was going to go insane._

" _No? It's not any trouble, honestly. They'd understand. We could stay here and enjoy ourselves—"_

" _I'd enjoy myself more with Joe and Debra," I cut him off, realizing what I said. My hand covered my mouth after my snap, seeing the way he blinked and suppressed his lips from frowning. I know I hurt him, but it was the first thing that I could think of. For fuck's sake, I enjoyed being with Jon in that manner more than anything else and now he was thinking otherwise as he nodded his head, shrugging off his shock._

" _Alright… I guess we'll just go then," he quietly responded, scratching the back of his head. It occurred to me then that no woman had ever told him that. It sounded very much like I didn't like his bedroom skills. It was the exact opposite._

" _I didn't mean it like that…" I sheepishly uttered, trying to rectify my words as I neared where he was. Despondent, he kept his hands to himself, nodding as he tried to understand._

" _I mean it, Jon. I just don't feel like doing that tonight. I don't want to go out either… can we just… stay in and watch movies together?" I bit my lip, reaching for his hand. He obliged in taking mine, letting it slip over my much smaller one as he tried his best to grin. It was half hearted, but I didn't want to push it._

 _Instead I leaned onto the bed, kissing him softly and he slowly reacted, allowing me to cup his cheeks. My thumbs maneuvered about his stubble, eyes finding his._

" _Shh. Don't say anything… it's okay, movies sound good," he spoke breaking the silence, knowing I was attempting to apologize._

 _The rest of the night called for barely any talking, but a lot of cuddling. The movie we played was a comedy one and luckily, not much of a romantic one._

The incident with the movies had been two weeks ago and I had been elusive to each of Jon's attempts ever since. I knew he was starting to get suspicious too since he saw Colby and I avoiding one another, talking queerly in his presence. He tried to confront me on it again, but I always found an excuse to remove myself from having the conversation. After the fifth time, he just stopped trying and kept himself under control. Something was holding him back since the Jon I knew from years ago would have lost his temper by now, but surprisingly, he was keeping himself in check. It was both scary and endearing at the same time, making me wonder what had been bothering him before the European tour he had to go on. I thought a lot about what Colby said too regarding how Jon was bored of me, but that thought fell flat with how much Jon was trying to get stuff in the bedroom going again. But that made me think that he had someone else on the side and he was sick of them already so why not jump back to me.

I shrunk from his hold, moving away from him as the thoughts came in at once and this time, I heard his groan of frustration hit the atmosphere. From where I sat at the edge of the bed, he moved to stand right in front of me, the towering size of his masculinity making me cringe as I tried to remain still. It was a difficult task since he was just so much bigger and scarier when he was hovering over me (which was quite often.) Just when I thought he was going to bark me at me in accusations and tell me that I was being stupid, he got on his knees. Jon grasped my hands in his as he looked into my eyes, at my level now, thumbs stroking the backs of my hands.

"I know what this is about, Chase," he answered my thoughts, making my eyes widen.

"Y..you do?" I asked as I held my breath from where I was. Oh fuck, _oh fuck._

"I do… and… I'm sorry," he breathed, halting my emotions from spilling. I tried to decipher what he meant by that, but he merely moved from me, leaving me to sit there in confusion as he dug through his suitcase.

My mind was traveling at a million thoughts a minute, trying to figure out if Colby told him. If he snitched on the both of us. But no, I stayed silent as I watched Jon fumble through his stuff, locating what he was searching for and placing it behind his back before I could see it. He slowly began to walk back to me.

"I was acting weird before I left and I owe you an explanation. You've been denying me day after day because you can't trust me, right? I wouldn't be able to trust me either with _my_ behavior as of late," he clarified, causing such a grand wave of relief to wash over me. He sat next to me, placing the mystery object into my hand.

The _envelope_ sat in my palms.

"I know it's late, but… I trust you with everything I have. Open it and I'll tell you what's been up," he pushed, head moving in a 'go on' gesture.

I, reluctantly, moved, opening the envelope in a slow manner. I was too surprised to move any other way. I didn't expect this to happen and it made me feel worse than I already did. I couldn't be trusted.

When I got the paper open, a picture of a family greeted me. They were mostly blond, happy as they posed with one another. I was guessing they were a family with how close they were, but they easily could have just been friends. A man and a woman stood with a shorter woman between them, embracing as they smiled for the camera. It made me smile the very same, recognizing the dimples the woman in the middle had as I turned to Jon. The man and other woman were much older.

"About ten years ago, maybe more, I had to give up my younger cousin because I wasn't fit to take care of her. They took her away from me because I wasn't earning much money from wrestling…" he whispered, staring at the image as if he was reliving the memory. With how he almost forgot I was there, I think that he was.

"It was the only time in my life that I felt like wrestling wronged me and later on, I got really, really into drugs. I wasted myself away because I thought nothing could touch me. Then I had a wake up call… they said I'd turn out like my mom and I kinda forced myself to stop at that point. It's some scary shit when people say stuff like that," he bitterly shook his head, eyes glued to the picture.

"Wrestling has been all I had for years and I didn't think that I could think about the people who are out of my life anymore, but then Paul came into my locker room one day after I told him to fuck off at my house…" he humorlessly laughed now, a hand coming up to run over his exasperated expression.

"He was going to fire me unless I harassed you the way I did and I wasn't going to do it because I had caused you enough pain… but when no one was around, he promised me he'd find my cousin for me and… I couldn't say no," he admitted to me, finally looking at me as he pointed at the picture.

"After I did all of the shit he said to do, he gave me this and an address which is written on the back. I visited her after so much time during one of our house shows… while you and I were hitting it off. She was _so_ happy. Living, beautiful… and I couldn't will myself to get out of the car and tell her it was me. Since then, I was beating myself up over it and refusing to do anything very productive unless it was getting drunk. Which you know already because I was probably worrying the fuck out of you," he confessed, bringing the picture away to rest at the nightstand. His hands were on mine, warmth engulfing me.

I didn't know what to say. My heart was too swollen to answer as I felt myself tear up. "The European tour made me miss you so fucking much. I'm sorry for keeping secrets from you. You don't deserve that. That's probably why you've been avoiding having sex with me… I don't blame you, I can wait for as long as you want me to. I just want to be with you. That's all I want," he concluded. There was not much I could do except wrap my arms around his neck. We embraced, my mouth finding his as I pushed him down to the mattress.

 _Fuck all of it._

I found myself more comfortable, letting my tongue sink passed his lips. His hands were firmly at my hips, and I could feel all the tension flying away from his body. I wish that I could say the same for myself, but I was even more guilty than before. I could trust Jon and it made me believe something that I didn't think about until that moment.

I was in love with Jon.

But he _deserved_ better than _me._

I was in so much _trouble._


	34. Chapter 34

**Trigger warning: sensitive subject of suicide. Enjoy.**

Jon looked peaceful as he slept beside me. It was one of those rare moments where he actually took the time to slip into slumber. I felt it happening, running my fingers mindlessly through his hair as I tilted my head. He wouldn't have possibly have let me do this had he been awake. He was very touchy about his hair in general. That didn't matter, though. I had my opportunity and I was taking full advantage as I looked at the dim light on his back. Things he would refer to as imperfections lied there, taunting in their own right, far from tenuous but he would deny it straight away or change the subject. Seemed like he always changed the subject when it came to his feelings.

He could be quite the fucked up person, something that I had come to know over the timespan that I had known him. But as he slept so serene, so out of character, I couldn't help but smile and grin to myself. He wouldn't be able to see the smile that had formed, he wouldn't be able to make fun of me for caring so much. My fingertips traced around the scarrings, the small amount of freckles that barely spotted but made their presence known. He had been through war every night of his life and it caused tension to fill my brain to the brim. To think that he was so destructive because of the meltdowns that had occurred in his life, it surged an immense need to protect him at all costs. Yet, he would be the one to protect me from the world around.

 _Even a sleeping tiger looked harmless.._

Gulping back the saliva that formed in my mouth out of utter fear, I staggered out of bed with a final petting through his scalp. My hair was messy, I didn't need a mirror to distinguish that. I had gotten enough hours of sleep with him holding me, but I guess at some point in the night, that shifted and he somehow ended up with his back to me. Then there was me, seeing images of Colby turn up into my dreams, Jon catching the two of us and choking Colby lifeless after flinging me straight into the wall. The pain resounded throughout my skull, reverted to a deeper sense that was enough to wake me up, thankfully, silently.

The two of us were finally together, unofficially or not, and I had been the one to compromise it. It didn't make sense to me since I had lectured him time and time again that he was in the wrong. It was _him_ who was the liar. But in this case, it was the very opposite and I should have been watching my back because Jon could _find out at any moment._ It terrified me, he wasn't a normal man so surely he wouldn't handle this as a normal person would. Any normal person wouldn't cheat on them with their best friend, though, so it was understandable if he managed to send a knife flying in either one of our general directions. Jesus Christ, how the fuck did I even end up in this situation. It wasn't _fair_.

Jon was softly breathing, unaware of anything I was currently thinking.

 _It wasn't fair._

He had the capability of fucking killing me. He let me in and I tore everything apart as if it was nothing, even if it had been weeks beforehand. It didn't matter, what I had done didn't give me the right to betray Jon the way I did, especially with Colby.

Colby, that little fuck. Jon's best friend. I wondered if the guilt was eating Colby alive as much as it was sinking its teeth straight into my flesh. Selfishly, I was hoping and praying that it was. I wanted him to suffer from the same fate that I currently was. I wanted him to be broken down to his skeleton because he was tearing his own skin off,just like I had the urge of doing. Tear it all off and see if Jon could do anymore damage. Physically, probably not. But emotionally… I don't think I could have handled it. With how much shit Colby actually talks about Jon, it makes me wonder how much he really is his best friend. If those two really were the best of friends then Colby would have…

Colby would've _told Jon._

That was it, I was hyperventilating already as I shook my head, completely distraught from where I was, staring straight up at the ceiling as I went straight to the bathroom. Looking at Jon as he slept was just too fucking much for me at the moment. What if the two of them were just fucking with me, waiting for me to snap and confess so that Jon would blame it all on me. Colby in the end would be the genius as he always was and he'd also have gotten a piece of ass. How the hell could I know if the picture that Jon showed me was actually his cousin. There was no way, I was just taking his word. He could have been lying, guilt tripping me further and it was working, working in all their damn favors. I was being used like a rag doll, fingers being pushed into the buttons that made the eyes, prying into the stitching to rip the fabric wide open. Strings would fall out, broken, ends thinner than the rest of the embodiment.

These strings fell over my eyes when I looked at my reflection in the mirror and I saw the bags under my eyes, the dark circles that had formed over time. They were familiar in a sense, making me look in resemblance to a raccoon. Digging for trash sounded much more appealing than being at Jon's wrath, the bastard. Actually, a lot of things sounded better than being here at the moment, needing a lot of breathing space that I wasn't going to be able to acquire. My eyes even looked bloodshot as if I had been drinking all night, watery from my revelations that had been spinning around in a rolling chair. The business chair that I was supposed to be focused on instead of narrowed in on the likes of Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins.

Then it hit me. I had seen the same tired expression. The same guilt infused facial structure, disheveled and rocketed into every level of stress. I had the same expression plastered on Jon's face and I had _blamed_ it on the alcohol as if I was somehow entitled. He had been fretting about telling me while I was screwing Colby during the tour. I wanted to punch the glass, dig the shards straight into my skin until it ached and stained with boiling blood. Hot to where steam escaped from my pores to the air, overriding the heat detectors to the point of where the alarm went off and sounded for a fire. Beeping, over and over again, loud enough to wake the entire floor, summon the fire department only to find something else. By then…

It'd be too _late_.

Maybe I would find some scissors to slice my jungular. A pair to cut right through my chest, hit me straight in the heart. Maybe I'd miss and have to suffer more, have to bleed out on the floor after a failed attempt matched by silent sobs. I'd probably be eventually found, quickly so to where it'd make me look crazier. But whoever was judging me didn't have someone like Jon in their lives. He was out there, absolutely maniacal in the worst of ways and he could easily make my life a living hell. I was too afraid of what he would do, what he would end up forcing me to do. And this was it. I was matched up with the face of death again like I had been when the verbal abuse within the first year of knowing him had commenced. To think that I was pushed that far off the deep end with just his words was even more horrific, making me wonder what he would do now. The man broke Nick for Christ's sake just so he had a better chance of being with me. If Jon, _when Jon_ , found out, he wouldn't show me any mercy whatsoever.

I wasn't ready for that. I wasn't. Actually, I was more so prepared for the physicality of it all, but the rest? I'd take Jon lashing out on me until I was bruised and battered any day over having a broken heart. He could do all of that shit and it'd just prove how destroyed it would have left him. I loved him, he couldn't have done anything for me to change his opinion of him. That's what scared me the most, being so emotionally clung to the idea that he was going to hold me close whatever chance he got and hate himself for caring so much about him. Telling him would be hurting us both and that's not something that I wanted to do, it was something I was debating heavily against.

I swung the mirror open, bottles of pills there from my last run to the convenience store. I couldn't just leave the bottles in my bags because I had severe OCD about it. Luckily they were there and not in the suitcases since the zippers would have woke up Jon. I didn't need him to wake up yet. I didn't want him to stop me. A total of five multicolored assorted pills were in my hands and I didn't read any warnings since such admonishment would have freaked me out and had me chicken out. Instead I just went with this route, taking one at a time with long sips of the tap water. It was awful, having to stomach it all down as tears welled in my eyelids. They threatened to spill from where they were, but I wouldn't let them. I couldn't. I brought the mirror door closed, looking at my reflection one last time.

Just a pretty little _rag doll_ looking back at me. Ready to be played with. Ready to be _ripped wide open,_ until all that was hanging from my stitches were remnants of _strings_. Thin threads on the ends. My end.

I almost stumbled in the darkness as I left from the restroom, turning off the light after I had stepped through. It wasn't a bright idea, but I was already feeling groggy so I didn't have to agonizingly wait for too long.

He was there, still sleeping, except now he was on his back, arm stretched out where I was supposed to be. His subconscious must have been searching for me to hold again. I couldn't help but smile as I walked over to him, at his side, eyes darting down to stare at his sleeping face. I wonder if he was able to sleep now that he had nothing to be hiding from me. I couldn't sleep for the opposite. Pressing a kiss onto his lips, I lingered for too long, already feeling him respond since I motioned too passionately. I felt as if it was the last kiss I'd ever give him; I had to make it count. I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't.

"I love you," I whispered, voice broken. There was water staining his face when I stood up, seeing how he fell further back to sleep. I almost woke him of his succumbed state.

Fortunately for me, he was staying asleep due to the longest time of not getting any. I was appreciative of that, not wanting him to wake and find me too soon. I was really doing it and I felt it hit, the depleting consciousness, the deprivation of sanity. My head ached as I slid to meet back to the wall. Only shoulder blades connected since I refused to give the surface anything else. Slowly, I raised my hand and tried to calm the pounding there, one last glance to Jon.

What peace. As my eyes almost rolled into the back of my head, I fell forward, expecting a loud thud. But no… what I got was a silent darkness in one single second. Just. Like. That.


	35. Chapter 35

**Why did this take me so long to write? I have no idea. Procrastination is my only explanation. I've neglected prompts from my inbox on Tumblr so I'm giving a fair warning those will arrive soon. I may turn off requests after they are completed because I'd like to finish this story and start the next idea. (Whole don't count your chickens before they hatch ordeal). Enjoy.**

There had been a pulsing beep coming from the side of me when my eyes fluttered open. My eyelashes felt so heavy that I could see them as I lifted and closed slowly in accommodation to blinking. The beat of my heart went along with what was at the side of me, not coming to any halt as my eyes danced across the ceiling, settling to a white wall. After focus had been grasped dramatically, it occurred to me that I was laying in a hospital bed, white sheet over my body. The pigment was blinding for a set of sore eyes, transitioning to see three figures standing over me.

The first instinct that prominently buried into my mind was to jump away or go running off to the nearest nurse and have them brought away from the room. It didn't make sense to me at the time why that would have been a good effort when I had no idea why I was in the hospital in the first place. My body however felt weak and my mouth was as dry as a desert, the last time I had been in Las Vegas settling into my skin. The surroundings formed a taste in my mouth, the portion with beating down sun being exactly what was underlying on my tongue. You would think Las Vegas tasted of sex, drugs, and Elvis rip offs, but instead, I felt a lingering overwhelming feeling of the loss of water. At the same time, I had been experiencing one other thing, making me forget about the scorching dryness, distracting me to a larger void.

The loss of _Jon._

I managed to make out the figures who were above me and with features and hair put together in countenance, I managed to make names out of them: Colby, Joe, and Debra. They spoke all at once, my mind too hazy to pick up on one voice only and follow it all the way through. Instead of attempting to speak and failing at such, I made the conscious decision to really observe what I hadn't seen in what felt like a millennia. Debra had been nearest to my cranium, caramel skin not exposed in the jacket and pair of yoga pants that she sported. The t-shirt I caught a glimpse of from the zipper being halfway had been of a favorite band of hers. It had something to do with Avenged Sevenfold I'm sure. I didn't know if it was faded out or if my ability to read was currently shifting for the worst.

Joe looked like Joe always did when I saw him in the ring alongside his Shieldmates. His eyebrows creased inwards ever so slightly and his arms were crossed at his chest. If you didn't know him, you probably would have deemed him as consistently filled with brooding anger. Throw on a vest, and with grey eyes, he looked exactly what you would expect a man of his stature to look like. He stood close to Debra, a gap in distance that had to be created on purpose for sure between he and Colby. It was odd how much of the golden locks had left from his hair, leaving it almost naked in dark brown that was all pulled back just as Joe's was. Strands were hanging, not nearly as neat, down to his cheekbones and something flashed in his face as he spoke. I couldn't tell you what any of them said because I was staring at the purple that traveled in the curve underneath Seth's right eye. It looked new, swollen but it had been tended to early for the reason of receiving it within a hospital. At least that's what I was surmising.

"I can't understand you all at once," I finally interposed, voice untrusted to be my own since I didn't recall how it sounded. Deeply feminine that probably was taken up a pitch in the ears of others.

"You were found in the hotel room after overdosing… honey, you've been asleep for two days," Debra cautiously replied when the three of them had went silent. I don't think that the slowness of her voice was for my own sake. With how it trembled barring the bad news, it clearly was for hers, trying to stop herself from crying. Seeing the steaks that shone in the light bathing the already white room told me this wouldn't have been the first time she was crying.

"We were scared that you wouldn't wake up. Scared that…" Joe's tone was as booming as I remembered it to be, yet it was still so kind that I couldn't have possibly said anything more. "You know how that goes." He finished off his thought, unable to say the rest explicitly.

This time Colby wasn't talking and Joe and Debra proceeded in telling me what had been going on with my job once I had been gone. I didn't pay attention to what was being said because I had focus on how heartwarming it was that all three of them were there after two days. There must have been a grand amount of concern that filled their hearts, judging by Debra's tear stained cheeks, it consurated with salty water. Still, with them three being there, the gap that was between Joe and Colby was unsettling. It had been too distant that maybe two bodies would've overtaken the spot. Whatever the reason was for the two being separated, it made me think of another spot that had been unsettling to say the very least. I found myself sitting up in trying to decipher why this was empty instead of filled.

"Where's Jon?" filled the atmosphere, brought them back into a jutted silence as both Debra and Joe looked at Colby with more disdain than I had ever seen. I had probably seen more before, but there was something more intense about being there in that area, watching the dramatic endeavor.

It surprised me when Debra and Joe walked out from the room, left Colby and I alone. Well, us and that protruding mess that his eye had become.

"What was it like to be asleep that long? Did it feel like a never ending dream?"

The question astonished me, straying from what I wanted and needed to know, but considering what I had done, I bit on the chew toy he was wagging in my face.

"I was… lonely. In a lot of darkness and I didn't know where I was. Even though I wasn't able to see the floor, I was able to walk almost on thin air. I figured I would keep on walking and at some point, my legs got tired the only way that I knew I made progress was the soreness that I felt burning in my thighs and calves. I felt the same sensation in my knees, but for fear of falling into this nothingness, I didn't take a seat anywhere. I kept standing where I was until stars started to form in the sky. One by one, as if it was a dark sheet that covered a cup and someone was poking holes of light into it with a straw. They kept coming, some smaller and others brighter until I was left in awe. Then… I sat down forgetting about the fear and I let myself become enchanted…alone."

Alone. God, I felt so alone for the duration of two days. Two days that I'd never be able to retrieve back all because of something I had thought was the best. But it wasn't. It was absolutely out there.

"... It had been four in the morning when I heard Jon's voice in my ear over the phone. It had been four in the morning when I tried to calm him down because he was talking too fast for me to comprehend what he was attempting to say. It had been four in the morning when I heard him yell something about pills followed by the sound of items being knocked over. It had been four in the morning, Chasity, when Jon found you on the floor having not the slightest idea of what the hell he was supposed to do since everything in him was in a panic." Colby stared at the space of the atmosphere, eyes looking away, reliving the memory that had been permanently etched into his brain.

"It was four in the morning when he hung up and Joe came rushing into my room, worried about Jon. The two of us immediately, with accompaniment by Debra, went to see what he was so frantically proclaiming on and on about. When we got the door open, Jon was sitting on his knees with your body over his lap, trying to rock you awake. It was… eery watching as he kept repeating your name over and over as if we weren't there. I've never seen him so…" His eyelids closed now, seeing Jon as if some mural had been painted.

"I've never seen him so distraught. He wasn't crying, I've never seen this of him, but he was somewhat on the ropes to it. He was close enough to it, tasting the embers of a new flame he had yet to experience. A new candle from the shop he was a frequent visitor to, but this new one burned painfully, more so than all the others he got his hands on."

"It was four in the morning when we rushed you to the hospital. And it was four in the morning when we all, except Jon, thought you were dead."

I stared at him increduously because I couldn't form a coherent thought. I couldn't imagine Jon to be in that way, to be sunk so low, on his knees, attempting to revive me by the ways of verbalized speech. It had my heart thud into my chest, physically ache in trying to picture the image.

"We waited in this room they put us in, with other worried sick individuals who seemed to be a lot more optimistic than us. Joe, Debra, and I talked together, whispered softly because Jon was sat off by himself, secluded with his head hung low. His leg was jostling, hands clasped in front of him. I felt guiltier than I ever thought possible. The first night, they told us it was okay to go and get some proper sleep, they made it clear that they'd call us if they needed to. If you happened to wake up. But Jon wouldn't move from where he was, didn't even look at the doctor. We left and the next morning were here again to see Jon where we left him the night before. His leg wasn't as jumpy, but it was easy to tell he was still alert even from the lack of sleep." His eyes dropped to the tiled floor, inhaling a deep breath as he fidgeted with his own thumbs.

"There was more waiting being done and at some point, he was pacing about the room. They allowed him to see you and he came back after an hour or so saying you were breathing well so it was a good sign. Then the pacing began again. Debra asked him if he wanted to just wait by your side, but he didn't want to since he couldn't be a voyeur of your state after the length of time he acted as one. The next night followed suit the same and I couldn't stand it anymore. This morning, I was going mad at all that fucking pacing and I stood from where I was sitting and marched over to him to stop him. There was a couple of adults and children in chairs, looking at the both of us with prying eyes because clearly they had been watching Jon's unraveling insanity. I didn't think of the consequences, nothing like I had been doing the last few days and I confessed to him why we were acting odd around each other.

"At first, he looked like he didn't believe it. He stood there staring at me, the slightest hint of laughter coming from his lips. The constant amusement in his eyes however was nowhere to be found. I should've moved, but his fist came so fast into my eye that I think sound wasn't made until after I fell to the floor. Then he was on me, punching and kicking with everything he had in him. Joe and security had to pull him off and I managed to regain composure. Jon was livid, throwing chairs around while the children cried, the others scrutinizing in mortification. They escorted him out of the building and they got me some treatment. Fortunately for myself, I just got a black eye and a few minor bruises. When everything was okay, Debra and Joe were ready to scold me. They got about three minutes of it when a nurse came and told us you were stirring in your sleep. And… you know the rest."

Now that was the Jon I knew. I had felt worse, thinking about how he stayed for such a long time. I didn't deserve him. Oh, I didn't deserve him.


	36. Chapter 36

**Apologies for the** _ **long**_ **never ending wait to everyone. I've procrastinated while doing school work, and while writing. Hit a bit of a rut in terms of written expression, an even bigger rut shifted through in terms of emotional stance, but all is well finally. Now that I've had** _ **my**_ **redemption, it's only justice to ensure Chasity and Jon soon have their own. Enjoy. Four chapters left.**

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The clock ticking in the background eventually became silent with all the weeks spent in the room. Two months ago, the ticking would've made me uneasy where I sat. Now, it didn't become apparent to my absolute threshold. It's one of those things you get used to. I assume that's how people living near an airport cope with things. Eventually, the planes become soundless drones soaring briskly through the air. Those people can't be bothered by the noise and they just _won't_ be bothered by it in the slightest. I find it almost endearing how they can withstand the noise. Pushing myself to withstand the clock in the background at first seemed like a large task, but eventually I tackled it down and wrestled it into a pin. Trying to wrestle down a plane seemed like a different story.

"Why did you try to end your life, Chasity?" Her voice is eerily soft, but as long as I've been waiting for this question, I still wasn't prepared to answer it.

But who ever is fully prepared for that? If you're like me, then emotions begin to stir to where tears ensure it's difficult. I don't know why, I could give a millions reasons why, but none really seem justifiable in the eyes of where I am. Mrs. Pauly has been coaxing me to tell her something, anything, but all I could ever muster in the end has to do with my "crumbling sanity."

Rehab isn't like the shows make it out to be. It's nerve wracking and the sole people who visit you are those who _aren't_ mad at what you did. They're more worried over the state you're in, they're worried how much distress you're under. It's not that I'm insinuating that Jon was mad at me because of my overdose, because he wasn't. He was mad at me over Colby. His presence never being known told that story without a word having to be spoken in my direction. Joe made it clear Jon didn't want anything to do with me.

If only I shared the same sentiment.

"I did it because I did something terrible. How do you hurt the one you love so many times? How do you hurt them and go on living when you know they're in pain? What I did… I don't care what you call it, whether you say it was selfish or justified, it happened and I see it as something I made a mistake over. I don't want to get to that point of fearing the worst and having to hurt myself because of that fear. I don't want to stick to someone to the point of where I become dependent on them. I'm sick of pretending to be okay, too. Because I'm not. But you already knew that. I mean, why else would I be here?

"I abused my power in my work to attack someone I care for deeply. When I did it, I thought I justified myself by saying it was the karma they deserved. With the brand split, I got away, and then I got pulled into a whole mess of utter shit. I'm tired of being in this mess, believe me, but I'm so enamored with the job that I have that I can't bring myself to leave it. But after everything that's happened, I think that's what's for the best. To leave from the industry, to leave it all behind since I have to look out for what I've lost of myself. I look in the mirror, and… I don't like what I see. I don't like who I've become. I can't keep staying under the radar. I have to be something that _I_ like. Not something I'm ashamed of, not someone I'm trying to be. I refuse to be anything else. I just want to be better."

None of what I said made a lot of sense. The rambling started and it just wouldn't stop. They came out as fast as you form thoughts—jumbled and all at once. She seemed to understand when our time finally came down to a halt. I stepped out of the room and inhaled the cinnamon scented air deeply. They must've brought the fragrance to calm the patients. It did do its job well.

I walked out of the building and slid into my car. The phone in my pocket was brought out and though I didn't tell anyone how often I've been doing this, I still couldn't believe I was doing it again. I dialed Jon's number again. It seemed like this was the hundredth time, but since Joe never told me anything of it, I knew Jon kept them to himself.

Or deleted them.

"Couldn't get to the phone, leave a message. Or don't. Couldn't care less."

I mouthed the raspy voice since I memorized the message by this point. I missed it so much.

"Hey, Jon… this is… This is… I don't know what this is, but I've left you enough messages to realize you're ignoring me. Considering what I did, I would ignore me, too. I miss being around you, I guess. A lot. I'm worried about you. Joe told me you haven't been yourself and… I can't help but think that's my fault. I could apologize a million times, and mean every single one of them, but in the end, it's up to you whether you want to forgive me or not. Colby and I ceased talking. I refuse to talk to someone I ruined things with. I just want to hear you again. I want you around me. I want to talk things out. Everything. Call me back. Please…"

One more month of rehab. Just one more month.


	37. Chapter 37

**Honestly, sometimes the cure for writer's block is writing something new. That being said, since this story will soon be over, give Oculus a read. It's a slow burn with an angst-storm building in it. Continue on, though. There are three chapters left.**

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Sweat crosses skin. It's magnificent how it does so. A bead of it cascading with no real path. Down it goes along ivory skin, a tiresome gaze shot to the mat. The cameras are so good, they catch the collecting damp spots at different areas of the ring, but that's not what the crowd is looking for. They're looking for maneuvers to leave them in awe. Or perhaps they're looking for some kind of beat down because we're all violent souls living vicariously through professional wrestlers. Everyone has their own reason for watching. They might judge knowing why I currently am.

At every arena, workers set up an office for creative teams and of course me since I'm an acting general manager. Since everything has been spiraling out of control, the job's been handed over to others far more capable than someone in rehab. A lot has changed in these two years. Thinking back to 2014 when I had started the business, the Shield still had themselves put together. Fast forward, and they didn't. I had my job, a terrible experience with Jon Good because of how much of an ass he was—how much of a diva he acted as. He got away with calling me names, constant harassment that never bordered sexual, but it did get under my skin to the point of where I fought back and put him within the most grueling matches I knew he wouldn't prevail in.

When I got sick of it, late 2014 called for me to transition from shows. Since Smackdown wasn't live and I didn't need to appear on camera, I worked from home. I'd dial up and make the matches and then I'd see the product on a Friday. Things have changed so much that now you see them live on Tuesday. That's beside the fact. Running the show from home gave me a false sense of security. I used to think it was my happiest. Turns out, a lot of talking with my therapist had me discover it was as if I was running away from something. When a child's running away from a clown, they're not happy. They're scared the hell out of their minds the entire time. That's who I was. I was afraid of Jon because he liked to play this game. A game no one could win.

The man gained a sick thrill out of torturing me verbally. He'd laugh when I'd put him through ladder matches. I never watched any of his matches because of how angry I'd been. I figured, not watching would be my best bet since Moneyball had a lot to do with how I ran and still run the business. Skip some time to half a year later and it's 2015, where Stephanie and Paul have me work to book RAW's matches. To be honest, I didn't know what I was doing. Booking Stuart, Wade Barrett who's been released, versus John Cena seemed like it'd be interesting. I failed to realize Cena was currently working new moves into his matches and some of them needed more improvement. So, if you were in my shoes and trying to keep people from changing the channel, you would've let current champion Seth Rollins go out there and interrupt. This is where you all came in, where everything got turned upside down.

All my running left me comfortable when I thought I got away. To my disappointment, my running got me into some major trouble because the one I was running from finally caught up to me. I've been trying to figure out why I let Jon get to me so much in 2014, but I think it has to do with how I was bullied in both elementary and high school. For once, I was in a place of power to do something about it. In turn, I abused that power. I took a lot of my anger out on him because of the rotten kids and teenagers before him. My childhood and adolescence wasn't stable. And dating? I kept trying to search for a savior, but the smallest comment could target my low self-esteem .

Paul Levesque is the evil of this. Why? The man knows how to control human emotion. He knows how to manipulate people.

I was too busy loathing Jon to see the signs of it early on. Paul and Stephanie taking a break in May of 2015 seems stupid now that I think about it. Colby Lopez wanting to be in the spotlight didn't seem as stupid, but knowing he was friends with Jon and Joe later on really did make it feel stupid. For the worst part of 2015, Jon manipulated me into signing a contract because he was being manipulated by Paul. Colby went out there and made the announcement of me moving to RAW to get me on TV and closer to said contract because he was being manipulated by Paul. Joe didn't say anything about it because he was being manipulated by Paul. It's reasonable as to why, too.

Paul used Colby's job against him, and Colby lives and breathes wrestling. Since then, he got injured at some point, making it ironic that he even bothered. I think it was one of his humbling experiences. Paul used Joe's job against him. Joe used to live off food stamps. His daughter is the light of his life and anyone who threatens his place of success is surely going to gain his attention. Then there's Jon. It's not rocket science to figure out Jon's reasoning for doing the despicable things he's done. As an unstable man, he was already susceptible to falling further into madness if he were exposed to it. Someone who doesn't have family and doesn't care about the amount of people watching him wrestle couldn't have been manipulated the way Joe and Colby were. That's what made his cousin so special.

Being the sole family member Paul could use against him, Jon went for it. If I were in Jon's shoes, I probably would've done the same. We're human. We can't say what we would do in awful situations. We can't say we'd always make the right choice. Putting ourselves in those positions really show what our true colors are. I don't blame Jon for choosing a young family member that got taken away instead of my sanity. As I said before, we're human.

The way Paul toyed with all of us isn't right. But, what could I do? It'd be my word against his since there's no physical evidence of what occurred. Trying to sue the man would make me foolish when he could afford the best lawyers. And… For those of you wondering why I won't do it, the main reason, it's because I know he'll put all the blame on Jon. I've gone over this a million times in my head and considering what Jon's done, he'll be the one to look the most guilty. After everything I've put him through, after everything we put each other through, I don't think I could handle seeing him behind bars. So, this is basically the worst case of Stockholm syndrome you'll ever read about. I fell for my captor, essentially. I didn't mean to. But, who the fuck can dictate who they fall in and out of love with?

Spending almost a month in 2015 with Jon didn't end our story. He hurt Nick Nemeth, an interest of mine that I realized why I never actually pursued. It wasn't because of work. I just made myself believe I was attracted to him. I wasn't. What I can't seem to put together is why Jon did what he did after our forced time together. No one held his cousin over him when I showed up at his hotel room after he attacked Nick. No one held his cousin over him when he slept with me again. I say slept with me instead of the other word because… I wasn't fighting him as much as I thought. It's like I convinced myself I was because I knew I was supposed to be angry. I think knowing that he was just another pawn in Paul's game made me feel as if he was human and not a monster.

That's when I started dating Nick. You know, after I realized Jon lied to me again. That's another thing I can't figure out. Why Jon lied to me and why he tried to get Nick out of the way. It didn't make sense to me. Why would the man that claimed he hated me be jealous of someone else? 2015 was over with at this time and in 2016, I was dating Nick. That was until he revealed his true colors and that's when I knew that there were always inconsistencies in his flirting. Looking back, I forced myself to go for it in an attempt to run from my feelings for Jon. They were developing too fast, but I knew he was toxic. So much so that being around him would cause me to drown. In 2016, I tried to run the show despite my broken heart. I heard Jon became champion, Shane came back, and Mick Foley joined Stephanie's side. I would be on the screen frequently, but the brand split took me off television to work and book the shows as if Stephanie and Shane were booking them.

This was all while Jon and I had our attempt at a relationship and you all know how that went… he opened up to me when I was vulnerable. When I did something awful. I used him. I know I did. I used him for sex because I wanted to get back at Nick. By doing this, I fell further in love with Jon. He showed me parts of himself that he didn't show anyone else. I was so paranoid he was going to leave me, that he was bored of me, that I fell so easily under Colby's spell. I slept with another man because I was running from my feelings again. I did it because I didn't want to be abandoned first. After my overdose in the middle of 2016, I attended rehab. That's where we are now. I spent a lot of time with the therapist coming to all of these conclusions. She made me let everything out and a couple of weeks ago, she let me go. It's now 2017 and I've left message after message, voicemail after voicemail to Jon. I didn't tell her about what he did to me, but I did tell her about our connection. She told me that sometimes, when you love something, it isn't enough.

Sometimes things end and that's okay. Sometimes, we may love with all our hearts, but things still don't come back to us. And while that's very depressing, she also reminded me that sometimes, they do come back to us. It's just some pain takes time to heal. But eventually, it does. We can look back at memories and cherish the time we spent with those we loved, but we can't dwell on the past. I love Jon. But, it's the kind of love that takes time. It's the kind of love that _needs_ time.

Being back at work has me watching, for the first time, a Dean Ambrose match. He's changed in appearance from when I first met him in 2014, but to me, I still think he looks great. Making that comparison isn't scary. It just goes to show how far he's come. He wins, of course. That's when the memories come flooding in and where tears well in my eyelids as I see him standing on the turnbuckle with his arms raised, the intercontinental title in his grasp. He looks happy. A happy sad as Debra would describe it. I think when you endure so much pain, you can tell when someone else is in the same kind very easily. It's the eyes that will always give him away. There's something in them I'll always be able to discern.

"Hey, you! Haven't seen you here in a while. Everything alright? I heard about what happened." Windham Rotunda stands before me in his ring gear and reaches for a hug which I gladly accept.

"I'm good. Better now. Extremely better, actually. It's like I went for a trip on philosophy." Sighing happily, I realized I've managed to keep the tears at bay, away from sliding down my cheeks as I turn the monitor off.

"That's good to hear. You think you can teach me about the meaning of life now that you're back?" He asks with this bright smile. I don't think I've mentioned it here how much I missed Windham.

"Maybe some other time. Took me months to figure out just a part of it. I don't have months here. This is actually the last time you'll see me back here," I reply to immediately get a surprised expression. Another hug is shared and he sighs this deep thing you'd expect a man of his size to emit.

"It's going to be weird without you around here. But I think I won't be the one missing you the most," he gingerly pats my back as he pulls away and tilts his head to the side. Looking in the direction of the tilt, I can see Jon looking over. As soon as our eyes lock, he looks at the floor, sweat dripping from his darkened auburn strands. I half smile and shake my head slightly.

"I don't know about that, but I can guarantee that I'll miss you. Among others. But we'll keep in touch, right?" I ask very cautiously because I can see Jon in my peripheral debating whether to walk over or not.

"Definitely. By the way, if any of the locker-room gossip is true, he's a mess without you. I know a lot of shit has happened, but no one's perfect." He says as he finally pivots and waves a hand. I'm aware the locker-room talks a lot. With those being in there, and how close Jon and I were at one point, they must have put two and two together that something really bad happened for me to overdose. I wonder if they blamed Jon. Clearly, Windham didn't.

Then, Jon is walking over. I feel everything in me stand on end as he approaches. I can see the way his exhausted body maneuvers in its tiresome gait, eyes blinking as he reaches me. His lips are in a tight thin line, and he says nothing. We lock eyes and then he's shaking his head and walking away. The look of disappointment he gave me does hurt, a lot, but I still turn to watch him leave.

Some love just needs time.


	38. Chapter 38

**As we approach the end, my heart gets heavier. I've never completed a story this long. This one will hold a special place. Two chapters left. Enjoy.**

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Reaching the boxes above my head on the shelves didn't seem like a dangerous task. When I actually climbed a chair, that's what instilled fear deep in my abdomen. I did my best to not lose my balance trying to collect the amount of items up there. Slipping the boxes ever so slowly, I finally got to my feet and sighed happily. They were placed onto the desk as I took a long gaze at the office I held in Headquarters.

It's an office I barely used so there hadn't been any sentimental value in packing the things away. The thing that brought sadness had to be the amount of people I called up to help me out. Which is a total of two since I'm scrawny and one of those two happens to have the strength of about three. Speaking of such, Joe slips inside of the office alongside Debra. The woman flashes a bright smile as she lifts a box and heads out the door. She's going to do downstairs of course and leave the box inside of my car, but what surprises me is when Joe takes a seat and turns his head to view the almost empty room. He has this weird smile as he crosses his arms and looks to me almost proud. There's a fatherly essence to his gaze and I can't help but return the smile in the most platonic way I know how. Family never struck me as important. Most of mine branched out and there hadn't been any sob stories as to why. We grew apart. Meaning we grew by separating. Though, I could definitely consider Joe a brother. The brother I never had.

"What're you smiling about?" I ask as I take a seat next to him on the desk. My legs aren't reaching the ground as his are. His shoes prominently touch the floor while my legs kick back and forth, displaying my short frame. "Just… I'm sad that you're leaving, but I'm happy you're getting out of here. It's done you a lot of bad. A lot of bad you don't deserve." I gave the best smile I could muster as he says this. The reason I had to use strength to build the curvature is because I don't know if I believe I deserve anything better. With my recent discoveries, my self esteem still laid low. I caught the way Joe frowns, though. His lips crease and he shakes his head slightly for strands of hair to fall forward.

Crossing my legs at the knee, I place a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You're acting like this is a permanent goodbye. Something else is bothering you, isn't it?" He almost shakes with a sigh. Someone of his frame has this authority to him. "I know it's not a permanent thing. You'll be around in other forms. But you won't be _here_. I'll see you again, I'll see you embark on new journeys, but it just feels like this one isn't done yet. There's something missing for it to feel complete, for you to move onto the next story, the next chapter." It's a lot to take in. For a moment, I don't know what I'm supposed to say. The story had its downs and they were very dramatic, but it does feel like I'm closing the covers on a chapter that hasn't ended yet.

"I… you have to know, Joe… no one's story is ever finished. I will have a different story beyond the setting of this one with different characters and different people to interact with. I won't be here, but that doesn't mean the story's ended. I'll still be me when I'm not a general manager. I'll still have blonde hair and I'll still wear pencil skirts even though you won't be able to see it. I'll still watch wrestling and scoff when I think that I could've made better matches. I'll still live in Tampa, or maybe I'll move around from place to place. I'll still laugh at jokes and cry when I'm hurt. I'll still have overly exaggerated opinions on society and be vocal about those overly exaggerated opinions. Even though it feels like the story has ended, it hasn't. I'll live my life beyond this place and I'll have more lows and more highs. Joe, I'll be able to breathe. And there will be times I won't be able to. And times where I'll beg for the ability. I'm not closing the book and beginning a new one, I'm moving into a new chapter. It's just, some of those chapters won't be seen by your eyes. This isn't sad. It's good. Believe me, it's good." I finish as I lean into the bigger man's arm. My slender arms wrap attentively around and he breathes because he understands it isn't the end yet.

"I'm gonna miss you, nonetheless. The wrestlers will, too. I know that. I think it really feels like the story shouldn't end yet, though, because you and Jon haven't made amends. I think that's what I've been waiting for. You leaving from here, from the wrestling industry, that feels like you're moving on from an end that can't happen without you around." It pains my heart to hear this, but honestly, I know that if it didn't, it's because I wouldn't have cared. But I did. I cared with everything in my being. "No… it solely feels that way because it's an end you don't want. It's not an end I want either, but it's for the best. Besides, Jon and I are toxic when we're together. We're a mess." I sigh outwardly as I lean off Joe's arm, and clasp my hands in my lap.

There's this off chuckle in his throat that doesn't make much sense to me. "You're both messes apart. Why not be a mess together?" Standing from the desk, Joe leans down and hugs me. I'm still confused as he does this, but I sigh and hold onto him despite it. "You've been through a lot, Chasity. I know that therapist convinced you it's okay to accept the things we can't change, but this is something the both of you can change. All it takes a little effort, patience, and a whole lot of fucking love. It's okay to go after something if you love it. I don't think she'd approve of you giving up so easily. There's a difference between accepting and quitting." Releasing one another from the embrace, Debra is standing in the doorway smiling. The last box is taken into Joe's arms as he pivots one last time.

"This is the last one. We'll drop it off in your car, and then we'll be gone. I love you, girl. Call me when you get to Tampa, alright?" Debra is the next to hug me and I almost don't want her to pull away. She does eventually and follows Joe out the door. It's soft clasp when it swings closed.

I'm left with nothing but an empty room, empty shelves, and an empty desk. One gaze over it all should seem unsettling. It's not. What's unsettling is the multitude of thoughts beginning to run rampant in my mind. My therapist helped me come to the conclusion that sometimes things don't work out and sometimes things take time to heal. She taught me it's okay for things to fall apart and not pick up the pieces. Yet, Joe's words are what linger the most as I tap fingers across the hardwood finish of the desk I'm sitting on. This is a conundrum I never thought I'd address. If you love something, do you set it free and wait for it to come back to you? That's how the saying goes. Let the bird go and if it comes back, it's yours, but if it doesn't, it was never yours to begin with. I don't know if I believe in fate, but it did sound like a surefire way to make a decision about something you cared for. However, if you really love something, wouldn't you give it your everything to keep it? If you love something, why do you have to set it free when you know it needs you just as much as you need it? Can you really stand back, do nothing, and call that love? Or can you do something? I want Jon to be happy, I do, but is it considered noble of me to sit back and wait for that to happen? Love is a tricky thing and I don't know if I want fate to decide whether or not Jon and I end up together or not.

Through the never ending frustration, I pick up my phone and dial a number. There are several long rings and it gives me the indication it really is a missed call. It didn't go straight to voicemail as the others did, but it still got there.

"Jon… there are some things I have to tell you."

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 **Annnnd, that's where we will leave it. To those of you smart minds wondering if the conversation between Joe and Chasity had a deeper meaning, yes, it did. It's Chasity talking to the audience. Which is all of you. I know a lot of you have been messaging me about the story ending and I tried to sum up my thoughts on the matter through Chasity's words. I wonder what she's going to leave on Jon's voicemail...**


	39. Chapter 39

**This one feels rather short, but it's loaded with information, I promise. One chapter left. Enjoy.**

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Three. Two. One.

"I know I left you more than one voicemail, more than one text message, and you're probably through with my number in general. I'm not sure if you blocked it, I'm not sure if you've deleted it entirely. I don't know how any of that works, but I figured it'd be the right thing to do when you're ignoring someone. I've been ignoring Nick and Colby. I know it's not hard to do, but what I can't wrap my head around is whether or not this _is_ hard for you. I kept telling myself over time that it is. I kept hope alive that it would be. The other messages I left were frantic, full of tears, and I felt as if I told you more than I should've about how much I missed you. It's been rather selfish to keep thinking that way. I have no idea what you must be feeling and that worries me. We've put each other through so much that I just need to know you're going to be okay. This is the last voicemail I'm going to leave you, but I hope you don't roll your eyes and delete it immediately. If you've made it this far, I care about you, Jon. I care about you will all that I am. You got under my skin and I couldn't shake you off no matter what I did. Without you, I'm a very lost person.

"I'm lost in a sense of relationships. I've learned a lot that Mrs. Pauly taught. I want to begin I guess by saying that I'm so very, very fucking sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I feel as if nothing would justify why I did it. I feel like you look at me and see a whore you can't trust. I don't think I've done anything to earn that trust back, but I do want to at least try. I just wish you'd talk to me again. I don't care if it winds up in a screaming match, at least we'd be talking. The more I go on, the more I'm beginning to recognize how ridiculous I probably sound. I thought I'd give it one last shot since after all this time, my feelings are still terribly in tact. But I wanted to tell you that's okay. It's okay for us not to be together anymore. It's okay for us to be friends. I don't see it as us giving up on each other. I see it as people accepting that there's too much pain to go through when in one another's arms. If this is the last time you hear my voice, I wanna say goodbye. I don't know if you've heard, but I resigned and they didn't make a fuss about it since my contract was near its end.

"I'm not going to see you around backstage anymore and I probably won't watch wrestling until I could fix myself properly, so maybe it's the end of the line for us. If it is, have a good life Jon. I hope someday someone could do better than what I did. Or maybe you'd rather be alone. I hope that either way, you're happy. Good luck… through whatever you do." _I love you._ It's the hardest message to end and I could feel the tears welling in my eyes. My vision is blurred by the time I put my phone down to the desk, but I can't move. I don't necessarily want to move from where I am because of how I know I won't be gaining an answer back. I'll be left in the dark like all the other messages even if this one had a distinct tone. It's not guaranteed he's going to listen to it, but at least I could say I tried more than most would. Standing on shaky legs, I move to the door and open it. I pull myself together, not allowing any tears to fall as I try to put on the best smile I could muster.

Walking down the halls with my head held high, it surely is a problem when I make it to the elevator. Before the doors could fully close, Paul Levesque is muscling his way in to stand next to me as the elevator takes it's time getting to the bottom floor. My eyebrows crease inwards at the sight of him and I think he can feel my stare because he chuckles this dark thing that's too sadistic go pinpoint into words properly. "Have a good time at home. I know you'll take care of yourself." I almost want to scoff over at the son of a bitch, but instead, I decide I've had enough of his games. Laughing a thing myself, I turn to his direction as I smile walking the line of trepidation and perhaps false confidence. "I'll have a good time. Believe me, I'll be better off not being a pawn in your game. Jumping through all those hoops you set up brought me to my senses." Staring forward at the doors, he leans forward and then presses the button that traps us in between floors. My heart is thudding rapidly at the action as I look at his bold move. After everything that's happened, I've purchased pepper spray I'm not afraid to use. Nor will I hesitate.

"How much do you know, Chasity?" It's a loaded question. It deserves a careful answer, but I have nothing else to lose.

"Everything."

It's slow the way he turns his body and crosses his arms against his chest. He's staring a hole right through me as he sucks onto his teeth and then is leaning back against the wall. "I can assure you that you _don't_ know everything." He's tapping at his chin as he looks at me, but I've had enough mind games. "I know that you're the reason Jon put me through hell. I know you're the reason I got stuck with him for a month. I know the reasons you made Colby, Joe, and Jon agree to the whole fiasco. You toyed with me for so long and I know it's because you wanted me broken so I can follow you like a mindless robot like everyone else in corporate. Or maybe it was because you wanted to boost ratings and have me an actual emotional mess when doing my job." My fists clench at my sides as I stare at his much larger frame and he's already shaking his head back and forth.

"I guess it's pointless to leave you in the dark any longer. I did it because you've made your best matches when you're abusing your power. You think I like Jonathan Good? Oh, it's far from. I thought if I kept pushing, you'd put him through hell the audience could eat up. So yeah, maybe it was for ratings, but somewhere along the line you got soft. Somewhere along the line you fucking fell in love with the wrong guy. I bet you didn't know that I'm the one who kept badgering Nemeth to try getting close to you. I bet you didn't know I'm the one who sent Colby to your hotel room to persuade you into cheating. I'm willing to bet that you didn't know that I threatened Jon's cousin and that's why he agreed to all of this. He didn't want me to hurt the poor little girl. Think about it, Chasity, if I'm capable of everything that happened to you behind closed doors, don't you think I'd be capable of getting rid of a bitch Jon cares about?" I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My chest rose and fell in deep sadness. I guess there were a lot of things I didn't know. "I planned everything. Everything to tear you apart, and I thought that Jon would be more compliant, but he wasn't. He kept making excuses, tried to treat you nicely. But turns out, somewhere along the line, you aren't the only one who went soft. He fell for you faster than you fell for him. I was really surprised, and I tried, oh I did, I tried to break him, but nothing worked. Sending Colby to you while he was away was the smartest thing I could've done. I thought it'd be easier to get you in bed, but he told me you fell under rather easily. Hey, I didn't see an overdose coming, but you just set the wheels further in motion. Jon doesn't talk back anymore. He doesn't defy authority and he doesn't try to. You're the one who did this to him. You helped me to break him and I can't thank you enough for that."

A tremble had mercilessly claimed my body as his hand pressed the button for the elevator to move. The doors soon open when they reach his floor. "I broke the both of you. I won. Enjoy your resignation ." A sinful smirk plays on his lips when he leaves from the elevator and it takes all that's left in me not to run and try to choke him. The doors closing provide the biggest relief I've ever experienced. Going down the floors, they reopen to let me out and I'm so shaken up, I almost don't get out of the elevator. Eventually, I do. I step through the doors and then I move to reach the outside. Getting to my overfilled convertible, I slide into the front seat and sit there a while with my hands holding the wheel.

I don't know what to say as I stare out at the open road in front of me. All I know is that I lean my head forward into the wheel.

… and I cry.


	40. Chapter 40

**Since we've reached the end, I thought it'd be the perfect send off to give a lengthy chapter. Hopefully, it delivers. Enjoy.**

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The television is playing the Flash. Thankfully, I used Netflix to catch up and recorded most of the season to be in this situation. Now, let me tell you, Barry Allen doing all he can to protect Iris West is one of the most noble acts of bravery and selfishness I have ever seen. It's a good kind of selfish. You never do want to lose someone that important. I think we scold ourselves too often about doing things for ourselves. We're too hard on who we are when we want to keep something in tact for the sake of our happiness. However, it's okay to want things around. It's okay to pursue when we need to be happy. For sure, it's okay to keep running in order to keep living. I'm gaining lessons through a television show which is rather sad, but I truly enjoy every moment… _every hour, every minute._ Romanticising those on a screen may not be for everyone, but it does bring me from the world for a while. It's been a long week away from work, but adjusting isn't as hard as I thought it would be. I've been having the tendency to laugh more, to learn more, to explore the various parts of Tampa. I may be lacking in the department of a job, but I have saved a lot of money from working as a general manager. A lot of money that's finally being put to use in the form of restaurants and evenings to myself, away from the ample amount of chaos. It's nice and peaceful, and maybe sometimes too peaceful, but I could only embrace it with open arms. Right now, it's peaceful.

It's the episode in which there's so much singing, you wonder if you changed the channel to Glee at some point. I haven't moved a muscle, staring at the very end. To try and keep it spoiler-less, Barry is singing to Iris. It's a very beautiful song. It causes me to wonder if there will ever be something that profound in my life. It's also kind of cheesy, but it's the best kind. In actuality, a lot of women enjoy the cheesy romance depicted on various sources of media. I know it's a guilty pleasure of mine. But, it's possible there are different kinds of romance for everyone. I mean, I may Grant Gustin's voice to be charming while others look to other sources. Perception is a nice thing isn't it?

A firm knock brings me out of my thoughts. A second knock fills the living room and I blink as I look to my phone. There aren't any texts from Debra nor Joe, the sole two people who've been keeping tabs with me nonstop. Rotunda hasn't shot a message, but I don't think he'd show up unannounced. My curiosity spurs on as I tread meticulously from where I'm laying on the couch. On my feet, a pair of pastel pink socks are in place. I'm not exactly dressed for any occasion except bed considering my tank and work out shorts, but I pay no mind to it as I get to the door. There's another knock, somehow more urgent than the ones before it. Reaching out, my hand claims the door handle after unlocking. Pulling it open, a very familiar frame pushes its way through before I even have the chance to fully open the door. I am far too stunned to say anything as Jon slams the door shut. It rings in my ears, but I can't believe he's standing here in front of me. His jaw is tense, but he doesn't say anything as he broods over to the loud television playing in the background.

Locating the remote rather quickly on the couch, he turns the television off, and then he has his hands on his hips as he looks at the floor. He clearly wants to say something, as do I, but I can't find it in myself to start this conversation. Treading lightly, I make sure we're feet apart just so I could get a good up close look at him. He's grown more facial hair since we've last been close. He's leaner these days, but it's never been something I frown upon since I still find him ridiculously attractive. The cameras, good as they are, they would never be as good as this was. Jon being in the actual flesh had been something I gave up on long ago. Perhaps sometimes we shouldn't give up on _all_ of the things we want. Sometimes they have the audacity to come true. His cranium turns in my direction, azure landing right on my eyes. I'm almost overwhelmed with the sudden emotion. I look away since I can't hold his gaze. There's so much pain in those eyes that I don't know how to handle it nor how to talk to let such pain out.

A scoff seeps from between his lips as he stares at me longer. I can see through my peripheral how he's debating to say something. It's like there's so many things, but he's trying to decide on one. I'm not sure if there's anything I could really say to help in that decision. His overall presence is screaming conflict and confrontation. Being in serenity for the short time I have, I want it to continue rather than stand here waiting to be yelled at. There's a few more seconds of silence and then, Jon mutters something obscure. I can't for the life of me make out what he says, but he's moving past me, right to the door. It's like my heart's shattering all over again from the disappointment of what could've been. Yet, nothing comes from my voice which has failed me up to this time. He reaches the door and has his hand ready to open it so he could be on his way out, but he doesn't move any further. Just when I think he's going to leave, his hand slides off, and he's squaring his shoulders from where he stands.

"Why'd you treat me like shit when we first met?" He asks. I expected something else to come from him. My confusion is heavy as I look at him baffled. I don't know what I'm supposed to say about it. "Because you did the same to me. I think I said two words to you and you treated me like some geek in high school…" Crossing my arms against my chest, I look down at my feet for some consolation. It contrasts his deafening gaze.

Jon doesn't move from where he is, unsettlingly close to the door. "Right. I was so horrible to you that you had to put me through tables, ladders, and have a hand in ensuring I suffered pain on a weekly basis because I said a few dick things." This wasn't the conversation I was expecting at all. I could feel my anger slowly beginning to rise. "You spent all your time trying to make me believe I was worthless. I think you more than deserved all that pain. It's not like I could fight you verbally back." Rolling my eyes, I pin them to the couch, knowing that one glance at him would send my blood to boil.

"Oh yeah?" there's a humorless chuckle, "why couldn't you handle a couple of fucking insults?" It felt like 2014 all over again. "Why the fuck couldn't you? Ha, Jon, if I told you any of the shit you told me, you'd lose your temper and try to hit something because you _knew_ you couldn't touch me." I felt the fire start to simmer in my abdomen as I finally gained the courage to look at him. He lost whatever smile produced from the laugh he gave me.

His face began to take on a different color of crimson given his not so well hidden anger. "You just think you know everything, don't you? Have you ever considered the possibility that that's how I flirt?" It's my turn to laugh when he says this, my head immediately shaking. "By acting like an asshole?" Grumbling his frustration, he takes one step away from the door. I would've been happier earlier if I currently didn't want to hit him in the face.

"No, by hanging around your office every chance I got. Fuck, I spent so much time around you, I know acting like a dick wasn't a good idea, but some fucking pretty blonde was ruining my goddamn reputation. You know how many people would've laughed if I told them I was attracted to _you_?" There's bitterness in my tone following suit. "That isn't a compliment. Why can't you just act normal for once in your life and just say what's on your mind instead of lying and constantly trying to deceive me."

"Chasity," he never calls me that, "you want the truth? You want me to say all the shit that's on my mind?" I nod my head, my scowl deepening as he removes his hoodie. "When you switched brands, I knew I fucked up. I thought if I pushed you away enough, you'd get out of my head. When I finally pushed you to that point, I missed having you around and I regretted everything I ever said to you. I knew that I royally screwed myself out of any chance I could've had if I wasn't such a fucking dick to you. Neither of us are innocent, though. Stop acting like you are. We both treated each other like crap and you know it. It doesn't matter who starts it." Thinking back, I let his words easily get to me every single time we argued. I abused my power and pushed him past a limit of no return. He'd angrily respond and it became a cycle where fingers kept getting pointed. I never really realized how much I put him through until now. All the stitches and staples and white medical tape flashed in memory and I felt shittier already.

"I regret what I did to you. I regret putting you through all that pain. I just thought that it was justified because you were putting me through emotional pain. But honestly, an eye for an eye leaves the world blind." Sighing, I run a hand through my hair. If we were getting things out, everything needed to be let go. "I know why you raped me constantly, but that still doesn't change what you did. I know Paul manipulated you and I know that he threatened your cousin, not promise he'd find her. Not only did you lie, you still committed heinous acts. Oh my God, I couldn't look at my wrists without crying every night. Do you think you felt justified, huh? Did you think that since you were doing it for your family that it suddenly made it okay?" Tears were stinging the corners of my eyes, but he didn't seem to be backing down. There was still a lot of animosity resting inside his frame. That much clearly resonated.

"Of course fucking not. Chasity, I fucking raped you. I took sex from you. You don't think I stay up at night thinking about how you'd cry? You don't think I would have nightmares of you crying for me to stop? No. You wouldn't know that because I never told you. Why can't you get it through your head that I'd take it all back in a heartbeat? I did it for my cousin, but that doesn't make it right. If someone says your blood is going to get hurt, but they want you to murder someone to keep them safe, it's still fucking murder! I know what I did was wrong. That's guilt and shame I have to live with for the rest of my goddamn life. I lied because I thought you'd worry less. It's still more than I told Joe and Colby…" he stiffens at that name, revealing another elephant in the room that we had yet to address. I wasn't ready for that one just yet. "Nick was in on it too. Paul was toying with all of us. We were his puppets. We did everything he fucking wanted. It's funny cause he told me he didn't plan for us hitting it off." I had to force myself to laugh to try and hide my misery.

"I didn't either. That month's what fucked me up. While living with so much guilt, I got so used to the idea of having you around. I was falling for the delusion of us being together. When you wanted to go on a date with Nick, I…" I blink lightly as he runs a hand through his hair. "I thought you were talking about me. I felt so happy that it felt like utter shit when I realized you wanted someone else. I lost my temper and fed into Paul's orders. I know there's gotta be something wrong with me because I was becoming the role I was playing. I wanted you around every second and it scared me because I was losing sight of who I was. Reality blurred away and this fantasy about us deepened." He gulps down his evident sadness as he tries to breathe through it. I have heard about this happening to others. They're assigned roles and using schemas of the role, they forget who they are. Considering Jon's already unstable mind, he was susceptible to easily losing sight of who he was.

Still, there were so many questions still left in my head. "So, the night you attacked Nick and we had sex, did you really mean what you said…?" I tried to be inconspicuous as possible, and he glances at me. There's clear, distinct shame in his eyes. "Yeah. I did. I know I lied, but I wanted to be with you. I didn't even know fucking Nick up was what Paul wanted. I feel like such an idiot. He laid mousetraps and I took the bait every single time." Distress radiates off him as he rolls his shoulders. The tension is already building in him once more.

I needed for this to keep going. I knew we were fighting, but I suddenly recognized how much we never talked thoroughly about everything. It felt refreshing. "He fooled all of us. You're not an idiot. I'm glad you beat the hell out of him since I wasted months of my time on him. I can't believe I slept with the asshole… while we're on this, after that obviously fake relationship ended, I used you, didn't I?" Jon looks up at me and there's this knowing look. He nods slightly. "I knew you were using me that night when I came to your hotel room. You had a lot of frustration with Nick and you slept with me out of spite. I knew it as soon as you told me you two were done, but I finally had you back and after months of blaming myself and hating myself for lying to you, I needed the reprieve. The morning after was the confirmation I needed. And I knew you were using me a bit after that, but I didn't say anything because at some point, you started to show the same care I felt for you…" We never realize how much we hurt the people we care for, do we?

And… we were getting to the worst of our relationship. Many could counter the worst came in the actions we endured, but to me, this was my biggest fuck up. "You were checking if your cousin was safe when you started being distant, weren't you? That's why you were so upset. Not because you missed her, but because you missed her _and_ you thought about what you would've done if she was gone." He nods, and I can see it in his eyes that he didn't want to nod. I was right. Ever since Paul told me all those things, everything made better sense than it originally did. "That's when you fucked Colby behind my back, right? I left for a European tour and you two decided to have your own fun?" You would think he'd be laughing as he said this. He wasn't. He stares a hole into me as he takes another step. This one brings him closer, but we're still holding a firm proximity from one another.

"I did it because I thought you got tired of me. I thought that since you weren't touching me, or wanting to be around me, you had someone else or you decided I wore out my novelty. God, I let Colby talk me into it. After everything you did, it made sense. I didn't trust you, I guess. I should've because of how close we got, but I didn't and I let him talk his way into my pants. Paul sent him, too. But that doesn't mean anything. Like you said, murder is still murder no matter what you're doing it for. I'm just as stupid as you think I am." I lower my head as I already feel the tears slipping free. They go down my cheeks and Jon is near me. He had been walking as I spoke and now, he was using his thumbs to wipe away the tears. "I don't think you're stupid. Honestly , I think you did it because we still had some stuff to work out. Your head still needed to let go of things and so did mine. I neglected you… besides, everyone keeps looking at it as cheating when we weren't officially together. We never said we were. I just… I just hated the idea of you and one of my best friends and I beat the hell out of him in the hospital. I was hurt. And I deleted all of your voicemails until… until time healed me enough to listen to the one you left me a week ago. As soon as I heard your voice, I knew I was going to be here. I knew I was going to forgive you. I just needed time, you know?" Oh, Mrs. Pauly how I loved you. A small smile on my face worked its way, but I still needed to talk about one last thing.

"The reason I overdosed…" I saw his eyes flash and he shook his head. "No… it's okay. I… don't need to know. You don't have to tell me why, Chasity." I slowly took his hands from my face as I take a step back. I see the pain in his eyes is more clear now. I know it is because I know this hurt him more than Colby and I.

"I felt so guilty about what I did with Colby that I let it eat me up. You opened up to me and I thought that if I would tell you, that you'd get angry and leave me. I thought that you'd get mad and hurt me emotionally. When you did back then, it hurt. I knew it was going to kill me if I felt so much for you. I was so scared of what you would do and what you would say that I kept telling myself it would be a good idea. I realized how low my self-esteem became and how much I relied on you. I became so detached from it all, I decided I had to do it. And so I did. When I woke up, Colby told me how you stayed there all night, how you found me and how you knew I was going to be okay. I felt so shitty afterwards. I'm so stupid and selfish for even thinking—"

"That's enough. Fucking stop it. You aren't stupid and you're not selfish for what you did. You felt it was justified and that's all I need. I'm glad you made it because I need you here. People do these things everyday and nothing about it makes them stupid and selfish. It makes them human and it makes the people around realize how much they were really suffering. I just wish you would've said how much because the thought of losing you permanently is too much to bear. Finding you like that scared the fucking hell out of me. On top of finding out about Colby, I felt like everything was falling apart. I went home and got so drunk that I wandered the streets. I remember the traffic being so heavy that I wanted to become roadkill. I spent about everyday thinking about you and I hated myself because I kept trying to make myself believe you hated me, too. I felt useless, worthless, and it got easier because you weren't around. But when I saw you at the show, it tore me back down and it felt like I never made any progress in healing. I tried to forget about you, but I couldn't." I felt my heart skip a beat and I want to say something in response, but he continues. "I don't know what your thoughts may be, but I did a lot of despicable things. We both fucking did. When you said that you were accepting us as apart, it really set in how much I missed you. How could you just accept it? What the hell, Chasity? You were just going to give up!"

Lightning flares through his orbs and I shake my head as I try to talk. His rising voice is already scaring me. "I learned that people don't always have to be together to be happy. I learned that it's okay for the things you want to not work out! I'm sorry for everything I did to you. I'm sorry, Jon. I'm sorry for putting you through so much pain."

"Stop. I've apologized a thousand times for everything, so I'm going to save my breath because yeah, it's fine for people to accept when things don't work out. But that's for normal people. Normal people don't go through what we did. We're not normal, Chasity. I have only one thing in common with those guys who give up on their woman _accepting_ that they've ended." Blinking through the flood of tears, I sigh. "And what's that?"

"That we're hopelessly in love."

It's a shock that I've not considered. I've always thought that Jon cared, but never this way. Throughout all of this, I knew I was in love with him, but I never took into account whether he was. It's a foolish, oblivious phase, but I really didn't see it.

"I'm in love with you, Chase. I've been in love with you since the morning after I broke Nick's leg. During that month together, I tried to deny my feelings for you. I kept telling myself they weren't real because I was playing a part… but I knew when I couldn't get you out of my head that I was in too deep. And oh, every moment we were together again after that, it made it worse. You were constantly on my mind and I knew I couldn't deny it. Now, _that_ , that's the thing that people like us accept." Taking my hand into his, he softly smiles down at me. I've felt it for a long time. I know I have. Maybe not as early, but it's funny how it happened. My feelings developed so gradually, so slowly.

"I'm in love with you, too…" His hand is tightening on mine, but I still continue. "And I don't say that because you did first. I say it because I am. I didn't know how I was falling until I fell altogether. It was like a blanket. It kept working its way on me until it completely smothered me and I realized until after I was engulfed. I need you, Jon. Screw being normal. Screw accepting failure, I want this more."

It feels like forever ago since the last time we kissed. But when my arms are wrapping around his neck, and his are at my waist, it feels like we were never apart. Our distance is immediately closed when his lips slide sweetly over mine. The first time, they felt crushing. In contrast to the first time, this feels like a caress. It's an intimate attachment because I can feel his exhale as our mouths glide from one another. The interludes of oxygen filling our lungs are taken advantage of since we reconnect immediately. There's nothing crushing about this, not when his brushes surge a fit of tingles throughout my own. It's a time of surveying, of recognizing when the soft noises make it into the atmosphere between us. His are masculine as mine are feminine, but they're as quiet and subtle as cooes. It's like music the way we're in sync and yet I'm treble and he's bass. I try to be on beat, but proves it's just as beautiful to be offbeat. The introduction of his tongue even leaves me gasping, but not because I don't want any of it to happen. It's the very contrary, the way his hands palm my hips lightly and then tuck under my thighs.

Another gasp has my lips part slightly, but he's mumbling into my skin. It vibrates against me, a chill thundering up the length of my spine. It's enough for the shudder to begin as he lifts me from my feet. "I got you," he whispers, and he does. Jon uses the leverage of my thighs to raise me without any signs of effort. My legs wrap around his waist and my fingers thread through the curls at the back of his neck. They sift until my fingers curl and tangle ever so lightly in the mess. He doesn't mind it, which surprises me because he used to make a mockery of when I touched his hair too much. It's a good different to add because the softness compares to the passion inside of his kisses, the way his tongue drifts along to explore my mouth. A sound of approval is leaving from my throat and I could feel him smile against me. The way his lips curve, the way they move, the way their currently removing me of any plausible breath, I don't feel like asking him to allow me any of it.

He pushes a door open for the bedroom and he sinks down into the bed with me right underneath. My back meets the mattress and his mouth slides sweetly once more before he's creating separation. His electric blues are sparkling and I reach up to touch at the facial hair he's grown. My hand cups his prominent jaw line, and I flash the slightest grin as he looks at me. He returns it in kind and then is right back to kissing me breathless. The longing looks we gave before indicate something. It's like we both can't believe this is real. But as his mouth descends to touch at my neck, I know it is. It's not uncomfortable how his mouth glides across my collarbone , peppering kisses with each lingering of his lips. A scratchy sensation tickles my skin and I laugh gently. His eyes peer up at me, devotion instead of pain filling them. He nuzzles his cheek against my shoulder, asking a silent permission to continue further. Running my fingers through his hair, I nod my head and it's all he needs to end whatever hesitation goes throughout his head.

Very meticulously, his fingers trap the fabric of the hem of my white tank top, dragging it up over my abdomen. I've had more time for working out since therapy had solely been an hour a day. Toning everything did build my body confidence, and I can see the way his eyes blink because it's not just flat anymore. The slight of muscle seems to arouse further. "You like fit girls?" It's a shy question, and he chuckles. His head shakes and he's removing the tank completely. My white, satin bra is what's left on my torso, and he replies, "you could weigh two hundred pounds and I'd like it because you're _my_ girl." The fabric is discarded off to the side of the bed, but I'm using my hands to reach for the hem of his shirt. Fortunately, he reacts and aids my small struggle, lifting the regular t-shirt. Trailing the lines of his abdomen, I bring his head back down to connect our mouths. He complies, his hips settling back in between my legs. His skin touches mine and there's another chill to leave us shuddering. It's been so long without this that it all feels like new sensation.

I'm the one to toy with his belt, my hands grasping the leather material as he takes control of our kiss that's slightly more demanding. Unbuckling the steel, I slide the belt off his pants, loop by loop and then the metal has a clink when it reaches the floor. Considering my floor is carpet, it's a nice drop and audio. He kicks his boots off and then he's leaving from my body. His warmth goes with him and I immediately miss the almost feverish heat on top of me. Gazing at him as he stands at the foot of the bed, he fully unbuttons and unzips. Sliding the denim off his legs, his socks follow suit and it leaves me to do the very same. Before I could remove my shorts, he's back on me, pressing his mouth to mine. The warm pressure has my body go slack underneath his. It's relaxing and rewarding, being at his mercy as he goes back to the kisses he began earlier. The shorts end up riding down my legs and he's draping them off to the floor soon enough after I bend my knees.

Possibly, alarm bells would go off being this scantily clad with another individual. Especially if said individual occupied a space between your legs, but it's been so long that nothing is taking me with a hold of reluctance. I refuse to heed any of it, blue eyes leading me down a path I haven't traveled in so long. He sheds of the final article of clothing from his body, and then, he's helping me out of underwear that didn't match my bra. Honestly, matching the set would have required effort to impress. It's not that I didn't have this effort, but it's that I've gotten used to the idea of being lazy, even if it was only a week. Jon's lips descend to mine and he's not moving to go further. I can see as each gear shifts in his head, turning as he thinks. It's probably the factor of how intimate this all is, our other bouts being passionate and hard and rough all in one. This felt different. It felt… like so much more. Pushing against his chest lightly, he did move back to seat on his calves. The seconds of confusion and doubt cross his facial structure and I feel this intense need to rectify it. I feel the need to chase away the worry. Instead, I offer reassurance.

The reassurance is delivered when I sit up from my position. It comes in the form of pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, inching my hands downwards in order for them to fall on his shoulders. The tension slowly melts away, his orbs hidden underneath closing lids as the slack body is introduced. Shifting our positions, I move to where I'm hovering over him, curious eyes staring at me. This would certainly be a new one for us since we did anything but having me ride. It serves a purpose, from devotion to displaying how to continue this intimacy. It's a realm he's not used to. I can see it in body language and hesitation. It's not like we're resisting some force either. We're just feeling it out, the new pace setting into where we could savor every second.

 _Every hour, every minute._

Considering how long it's been since I've done anything like this, my last memory ruining a lot of the closeness Jon and I developed, my sole fear came in how there would be a sting. Grasping his hard length, I guide it to where it needs to be. A pulse of anticipation soars and my thighs tremble as I sink ever so gradually down on him. The sweet moment comes in how he revels in it, how his mouth comes slightly ajar as his head tips back. The thickness is as filling as I anticipated and I have to breathe in order to adjust to the pulsating. His hands come to rest right where my thighs begin, a small smile on his features. It's all the adjustment period necessary in terms of mentality since I look down at him. The first roll is careful and experimental, but I see the way his eyes languidly flash in sensation, the same tremor traveling up my spine. Exhaling shakily, I place one hand on his ribs as the other moves behind my back.

It reaches for the clasp of my bra, undoing it without taking my eyes off him. He notices this, how the straps fall down my shoulders and I'm removing it to be as fully bare as he is. His pupils have dilated, failing to acclimate as he blinks and diverts his attention to the swell of my breasts. Then his focus is back on my eyes, a contact that makes the moment far more intense. As rapidly as my heart is beating, I move again, this time with no intention of stopping. He approves of this, releasing soft suspires that match my own. My hips are rolling with a tenderness and I can immediately feel a burn radiating throughout my abdomen. Being receptive, he doesn't just lay back and take it all in. It's a dual effort as opposed to a duel. I rise and fall while he pushes up right into a spot within me that has stars dance across my vision. It's almost embarrassing how I fall forward from the overwhelming amount of pleasure being received. He laughs, but it's so quiet, you could miss it. I respond with a breathless laugh of my own, using the hand placement of his ribs and pec to lift myself back up. Every slide is overwhelming since every inch is being placed back in. There's a stretch each time, and I tighten, constrict, pulses surrounding outer lips that are warning me to fall back on top of him.

Sensation spreads like wildfire and I can not only feel his enjoyment through his throbbing, I can feel how he digs short, blunt nails into the skin of my thighs. It isn't hard enough to draw blood, but I know I'll be left with crescent shapes I can be sentimental about for a few minutes. "Christ," comes off his lips and he gives indication he needs more. Or at least I think he wants me to go faster. I do pick up the pace slightly, riding him with a tad more vigor as my thighs continue to tremble and burn with the muscle in my abdomen. It doesn't last very long. He's panting heavily when his palms reach up to my hips to halt my movement. Gulping down my fear of disappointing, he sits up and reattaches our mouths. This time, it's so much harder to keep our connection. He's hard and heavy, heated inside of me with pulse after pulse and I almost want to whine because my body is tensing with the need for relief. It intensifies with the need for oxygen as he expertly lets his lips dance with mine. The pressure of his kisses makes me feel light-headed, but I don't have it in me to pull away. He doesn't either, but very weakly in between the small crevices of space our liplock offers, I whisper.

"Let me breathe…"

Neither of us make movement for this request, continuing on with our melding mouths. He does soon roll us to where I'm on my back, but he never breaks the kiss. My mouth feels swollen as I gasp for air as he trails his lips down my jaw. His stamina shows, hot breath hitting my flesh as he answers what I said.

"Never."

And it's so Jon… it sums up everything we've ever been through. If he did let me, we wouldn't be here. It's poetry in motion as he thrusts into me, evoking another gasp. The pace hasn't picked up, however, feeding me heavy thrusts loaded with pressure. His exhales coat my neck because that's where he's buried his head, tucking his hands to my thighs. I get the message easily, and wrap my legs around his waist. The action sinks him deeper and in reaction, the new depths draw a noise from me that borders a moan. It's so feminine and rounded, contrasting to the soft grunts he's releasing freely against my skin. I'm clinging to him, my arms around his neck as my hands jostle lightly with each push in. He increases his pressure without speeding up and I feel it press so hard where I need it most that I let out another sound and press my nails down to his flesh. He aims for it after that, seeking and angling. I fall deliriously under this spell and then my walls convulse. I grip his length and he tries to move through it, but at the rate he's throbbing, I know we're both done for.

Nothing is said as we both reach climax. There's a satisfactory harmony in our mixed sounds when we reach the point, but neither of us have enough of a grip to form words. It's explosive, my eyes rolling to the back of my head as my body releases all tension. It's warm as he lets go inside of me, not moving as he leaves himself buried to the hilt. I don't mind it, both of us sticky with sweat as we try to calm from our highs. He still hasn't when he's breathing hard and he lifts his head from my neck. Those eyes are calm waters and I see no storm to their depths for the first time in forever. I've zero composure, but as my chest rises and falls, I'll get there eventually.

"I love you, Chase."

"I love you, too, Jon."

* * *

I can't say we didn't make love all day in bed. Because we did. Some bouts as rough as I remember and others were as soft and gentle as earlier that day. It's morning when we get out of bed and shower together, somehow sans having a round inside the confined space. It's the easiest thing in the world to adjust to the soreness and having Jon around. We're both standing outside now, me outside of his vehicle. He has a show he has to make. It doesn't mean we wouldn't see each other again, but it would make things difficult since he'd be on the road.

"As much as I love wrestling, I don't remember a time where I didn't want to go as much as I don't now," he says as he leans back into his car. I sigh as he pulls me into him. I place my hands on his chest, a grin playing to my lips. "It'll be okay. I know it sucks since we've finally made sense of everything, but you've got a job to do while I should be hunting for one." My head tilts into his hand and he's trying to keep his smile intact.

"My girlfriend can be jobless for a while and enjoy herself. Let's say, in Vegas? I happen to know a place you could stay." I can't help but laugh as I look into his eyes. "Is this your way of asking me to move in?"

He nods his head and brings out his keys from his pocket. Removing one from the ring, he hands it to me. "I already know what your answer's gonna be." Damn him. I take the key and press a kiss to it, holding it in my hand afterwards. "I'm not saying no. But, what about you, huh? If you're giving me your house key, how are you going to get in?"

"I can have another made when I get back. Besides, you'll be there to open the door for me. I'm not worried about that right now." We separate in our closeness since he's unlocking the car in order to grab something. The compartment comes open after he uses a button and it reveals a book of leather that looks all too familiar. The journal is placed into my hands and I look at him, stunned. "Remember this? You threw it really hard at my head when you got mad at me about lying. You've got an arm." I tried not to relive the action since it would cause me further embarrassment. He knew this, seeing the crimson tint of my skin.

Caressing my cheek, he presses a kiss to my mouth. "I want you to read it. After I leave, that is. I think it's about damn time." Our goodbyes come to an end as I hug him and initiate our embrace. I don't want to let go, but I know I have to. A minute in his arms isn't enough. I need days and just maybe I'll let him go for a few hours. "I'll see you in Vegas," I say and he nods again, our I love you's being the last thing before he gets into the car. I stand on the sidewalk and watch as he drives off. I don't move until I can no longer see his car. A heavy weight is already resting on me because of how much I miss him already, and for once, I know it's the same with him.

Heading inside of the house, I slowly begin to open the journal. I placed the key on my key ring as soon as I got in since I didn't want to lose it. Now, before I tell you what the journal says, I think I should tell you why I wrote this. I did it because I wanted someone to know every emotion I felt through everything that's happened. Except… I didn't write as it happened. I wrote because I got the idea from someone else.

The day everything came back together, I read through the journal and I realized Jon documented the entire thing. From when I first arrived to when he last wrote he was going after me in Tampa, it was all there. I stayed up reading every bit and didn't move to his house until I finished it. After I left tears all over the pages, I knew I wanted to make one of my own. So yes, you are reading my journal. I got it because I wanted Jon to know my every emotion as I knew his. So, Jon, since you're reading this, I love you. I want to thank you for some things.

I want to thank you for swallowing every breath I took. I wanna thank you for making me scream, laugh, and cry. I want to thank you for the sins, the purities, your needs, your desires, and your lust. I want to thank you for being my dream and being my nightmare. And most importantly, I want to thank you for never letting me breathe.

To anyone else who's reading this, (Joe I swear to God if you're going through my things again), I hope you enjoyed our journey. It wasn't a stable one and it left me turning in every direction. Know that I married Jon because of everything we've done. Know that Joe says he knew we'd end up together because he watched us as we fell apart while falling in love. Know we live together and that we fight sometimes about the most ludicrous things. But, if you've become attached to us, know that we always resolve our troubles and we always grow no matter what. We have had our rough patches and our highs and both these things will continue even if we don't write about it. Life goes on. Our lives will, as will yours.

All is well.

 _Excerpt from Jon's journal: With every breath you take, I swear to God that I'll be there to swallow it. With every scream, I'll make sure to be the cause of it. Any sin and every purity will be the source of my own need, desire, and lust. Trust me, I'll be your dream and your nightmare. I can't, however, guarantee you'll be able to breathe._

* * *

 **And, that's all she wrote. I want to thank everyone for following through with Chasity and Jon's journey for two years. I know there were twists left and right, but you still stuck around. I want to thank rkosgirl1 and Dawnie-7 for leaving consistent reviews for me to read on every chapter and those who read and PMed me about the story. I'm sorry if the smut felt off since I haven't written anything like that in a while. However, I hope the last chapters finally answered questions you've frequently asked. I have another Dean/OC story by the name of Oculus that I have been updating pretty regularly, so check that out. Let me know what you thought of the story overall and whether or not you liked the ending. Thank you all again! I loved writing this. I'll be around with new stories as always.**


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